This link has been bookmarked by 165 people . It was first bookmarked on 23 Mar 2008, by ignt rn.
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Marcelo VasconcellosArtigo sobre as mudanças comportamentais dos últimos anos.
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Carissa LI think I agree with pretty much this whole article. Face-to-face contact is so much better than online messaging or texting. And he makes a good point that our society allows us to insulate ourselves from minor annoyances so much that we have absolutely no tolerance for them. Also, there's real value in physical work accomplished, so that you can actually see what you've done and see that you can make a difference.
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say a photo turns up of you nakedly doing something that would shame you and your family for generations
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about one out of four people have no one they can confide in.
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Annoyance is something you build up a tolerance to, like alcohol or a bad smell. The more we're able to edit the annoyance out of our lives, the less we're able to handle it.
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we've built an awesome, sprawling web of technology meant purely to let us avoid annoying people.
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that would be awesome if it were actually possible to keep all of the irritating shit out of your life. But, it's not. It never will be.
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what encounters you do have with the outside world, the world you can't control, make you want to go on a screaming crotch-punching spree.
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As a kid, maybe you found yourself in an elementary school classroom, packed in with two dozen kids you did not choose and who shared none of your tastes or interests.
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Say goodbye to the tedious, awkward, painful process of dealing with somebody who's truly different.
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peacefully dealing with incompatible people is crucial to living in a society.
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Fifty years ago, you had to sit in a crowded room to see a movie.
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Yet, on the whole, people back then were apparently happier in their jobs and more satisfied with their lives. And get this: They had more friends.
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there's a sort of comfort in needing other people and being needed on a level beyond common interests.
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that ability to suffer fools, to tolerate annoyance, that's literally the one single thing that allows you to function in a world populated by other people who aren't you.
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did we really need a study to tell us that more than 40 percent of what you say in an e-mail is misunderstood?
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If 40 percent of your personality has gotten lost in the text transition, do these people even really know you?
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When someone speaks to you face-to-face, what percentage of the meaning is actually in the words, as opposed to the body language and tone of voice? Take a guess.
It's 7 percent. The other 93 percent is nonverbal
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You don't wait for a girl to verbally tell you she likes you.
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That human ability to absorb the moods of others through that kind of subconscious osmosis is crucial. Kids born without it are considered mentally handicapped.
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When we're living in Text World, all that is stripped away.
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absent a sense of the other person's mood, every line we read gets filtered through our own mood instead.
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if I do enough of my communicating this way, my mood never changes.
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I've been insulted lots, but I've been criticized very little. And don't ever confuse the two.
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An insult is just someone who hates you making a noise to indicate their hatred.
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Criticism is someone trying to help you, by telling you something about yourself that you were a little too comfortable not knowing.
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there are now a whole lot of people who never have those conversations.
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Those horrible, awkward, wrenchingly uncomfortable sessions that you can only have with someone who sees right to the center of you.
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E-mail and texting are awesome tools for avoiding that level of honesty.
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Gone are the common quirks, humiliations and vulnerabilities that real friendships are built on.
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You never get to really be yourself, and that's a very lonely feeling.
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how did we wind up with a more negative view of the world than our parents? Or grandparents?
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We are physically better off today in every possible way in which such things can be measured ... but you sure as hell wouldn't know that if you're getting your news online. Why?
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Outrage manufactures word-of-mouth.
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The news blogs many of you read? The people running them know the same thing.
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If you want, you can surf all day and never swim out of the warm, stagnant waters of the "aren't those bastards evil" pool.
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This wasn't as much a problem in the old days
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there was something unifying in the way we all sat down to watch the same news, all of it coming from the same point of view.
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There effectively is no "mass media" any more so, where before we disagreed because we saw the same news and interpreted it differently, now we disagree because we're seeing completely different freaking news.
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When we can't even agree on the basic facts, the differences become irreconcilable.
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knowing someone in meatspace adds a whole, long list of annoying demands.
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you are hard-wired by evolution to need to do things for people.
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self-esteem and the ability to like yourself only come after you've done something that makes you likable.
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you are a social animal and thus you are born with little happiness hormones that are released into your bloodstream when you see a physical benefit to your actions.
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stress relief via mild discomfort used to be part of our daily lives
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This is why office jobs make so many of us miserable; we don't get any physical, tangible result from our work.
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do construction out in the hot sun for two months, and for the rest of your life you can drive past a certain house and say, "Holy shit, I built that."
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Maybe that's why mass shootings are more common in offices than construction sites.
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elyaqimDavid Wong, “7 Reasons the 21st Century is Making You Miserable,” in “Weird World,” Cracked.com, 9 September 2007. Also features “Sad Bear” series of drawings by Nedroid, one of which says “Bar mitzvah today.”
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The problem is we've built an awesome, sprawling web of technology meant purely to let us avoid annoying people
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The problem is that peacefully dealing with incompatible people is crucial to living in a society.
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t was my wife who finally ran into him and realized that the "No, thank you" he replied with was not meant to be sarcastic, but was a literal, "No, but thank you for offering." He had no room in his freezer, it turns out.
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People who have lots of it are called "charismatic" and become movie stars and politicians.
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E-mail and texting are awesome tools for avoiding that level of honesty.
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You want to break out of that black tar pit of self-hatred? Brush the black hair out of your eyes, step away from the computer and buy a nice gift for someone you loathe. Send a card to your worst enemy. Make dinner for your mom and dad. Or just do something simple, with an tangible result. Go clean the leaves out of the gutter. Grow a damn plant.
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02 Sep 10
Nicolas PalopoliScientists call it the Naked Photo Test, and it works like this: say a photo turns up of you nakedly doing something that would shame you and your family for generations. Bestiality, perhaps. Ask yourself how many people in your life you would trust with
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Shrutarshi Basu"Scientists call it the Naked Photo Test, and it works like this: say a photo turns up of you nakedly doing something that would shame you and your family for generations. Bestiality, perhaps. Ask yourself how many people in your life you would trust with that photo. If you're like the rest of us, you probably have at most two. "
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#1. We don't have enough annoying strangers in our lives.
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#2. We don't have enough annoying friends, either.
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#4. Online company only makes us lonelier.
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The other 93 percent is nonverbal,
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That human ability to absorb the moods of others through that kind of subconscious osmosis is crucia
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#5. We don't get criticized enough.
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You have almost total control and as a result that other person never sees past your armor,
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#6. We're victims of the Outrage Machine.
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#7. We feel worthless, because we actually are worth less.
There's one advantage to having mostly online friends, and it's one that nobody ever talks about:
They demand less from you.
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It ain't rocket science; you are a social animal and thus you are born with little happiness hormones that are released into your bloodstream when you see a physical benefit to your actions.
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This is why office jobs make so many of us miserable; we don't get any physical, tangible result from our work.
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Jeffrey WearLoss of social contact and its ramifications.
insightful perspective culture cyberculture humor psychology sociology
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Ari R"Fifty years ago, you had to sit in a crowded room to see a movie. You didn't get to choose; you either did that or you missed the movie. When you got a new car, everyone on the block came and stood in your yard to look it over. You can bet that some of t
media society psychology web sociology people life relationships depression friends funny 21stcentury davidwong filtering *****
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o did we really need a study to tell us that more than 40 percent of what you say in an e-mail is misunderstood? Well, they did one anyway.
How many of your friends have you only spoken with online? If 40 percent of your personality has gotten lost in the text transition, do these people even really know you? The people who dislike you via text, on message boards or chatrooms or whatever, is it because you're really incompatible? Or, is it because of the misunderstood 40 percent? And, what about the ones who like you?
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rds with the tone. Like my friend's "No, thank you."
You don't wait for a girl to verbally tell you she likes you. It's the sparkle in her eyes, her posture, the way she grabs your head and shoves your face into her boobs.
That's the crux of the problem. That human ability to absorb the moods of others through that kind of subconscious osmosis is crucial. Kids born without it are considered mentally handicapped. People who have lots of it are called "charismatic" and become movie stars and politicians. It's not what they say; it's this energy they put off that makes us feel good about ourselves. When we're living in Text World, all that is stripped away. There's a weird side effect to it, too: absent a sense of the other person's mood, every line we read gets filtered through our own mood instead. The reason I read my friend's chili message as sarcastic was because I was in an irritable mood. In that state of mind, I was eager to be offended.
And worse, if I do enough of my communicating this way, my mood never changes. After all, people keep saying nasty things to me! Of course I'm depressed! It's me against the world! -
Tragically, there are now a whole lot of people who never have those conversations. The interventions, the brutal honesty, the, "you know, everybody's pissed off because of what you said last night, but nobody wants to say anything because they're afraid of you," sort of conversations. Those horrible, awkward, wrenchingly uncomfortable sessions that you can only have with someone who sees right to the center of you.
E-mail and texting are awesome tools for avoiding that level of honesty. With text, you can respond when you feel like it. You can measure your words. You can pick and choose which questions to answer. The person on the other end can't see your face, can't see you get nervous, can't detect when you're lying. You have almost total control and as a result that other person never sees past your armor, never sees you at your worst, never knows the embarrassing little things about yourself that you can't control. Gone are the common quirks, humiliations and vulnerabilities that real friendships are built on. -
But how did we wind up with a more negative view of the world than our parents? Or grandparents? Back then, people didn't live as long and babies died more often. Diseases were more common. In those days, if your buddy moved away the only way to communicate was with pen and paper and a stamp. We have Iraq, but our parents had Vietnam (which killed 50 times more people) and their parents had World War 2 (which killed 1,000 times as many). Some of your grandparents grew up at a time when nobody had air conditioning. All of their parents grew up without it.
We are physically better off today in every possible way in which such things can be measured ... but you sure as hell wouldn't know that if you're getting your news online. Why?
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That's over. There effectively is no "mass media" any more so, where before we disagreed because we saw the same news and interpreted it differently, now we disagree because we're seeing completely different freaking news. When we can't even agree on the basic facts, the differences become irreconcilable. That constant feeling of being at bitter odds with the rest of the world brings with it a tension that just builds and builds.
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We get suicidal teens and scramble to teach them self-esteem. Well, unfortunately, self-esteem and the ability to like yourself only come after you've done something that makes you likable. You can't bullshit yourself. If I think Todd over here is worthless for sitting in his room all day, drinking Pabst and playing video games one-handed because he's masturbating with the other one, what will I think of myself if I do the same thing?
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You want to break out of that black tar pit of self-hatred? Brush the black hair out of your eyes, step away from the computer and buy a nice gift for someone you loathe. Send a card to your worst enemy. Make dinner for your mom and dad. Or just do something simple, with an tangible result. Go clean the leaves out of the gutter. Grow a damn plant.
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10 Dec 08
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Christian D7 Reasons the 21st Century is Making You Miserable. Some days, the Internet reads like humanity's huge, whiny suicide note. Here's why.
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Adam Crowe#1. We don't have enough annoying strangers in our lives: The more we're able to edit the annoyance out of our lives, the less we're able to handle it. #2. We don't have enough annoying friends, either: The problem is that peacefully dealing with incompat
* truisms psychology melancholy control emotionalintelligence emotion mood bodylanguage relationships friendship empathy sympathy sociology civility manners tolerance individualism existentialism self identity feedback #diversity #specialization internet
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casey mayfieldWhy our teens are doomed (warning, profane language used in this web article)
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#5. We don't get criticized enough.
Most of what sucks about not having close friends isn't the missed birthday parties or the sad, single-player games of ping pong with the wall. No, what sucks is the lack of real criticism.
In my time online I've been called "fag" approximately 104,165 times. I keep an Excel spreadsheet. I've also been called "asshole" and "cockweasel" and "fuckcamel" and "cuntwaffle" and "shitglutton" and "porksword" and "wangbasket" and "shitwhistle" and "thundercunt" and "fartminge" and "shitflannel" and "knobgoblin" and "boring."
And none of it mattered, because none of those people knew me well enough to really hit the target. I've been insulted lots, but I've been criticized very little. And don't ever confuse the two. An insult is just someone who hates you making a noise to indicate their hatred. A barking dog. Criticism is someone trying to help you, by telling you something about yourself that you were a little too comfortable not knowing.
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And that ability to suffer fools, to tolerate annoyance, that's literally the one single thing that allows you to function in a world populated by other people who aren't you. Otherwise, you turn emo. Science has proven it.
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zenbonoboAsk yourself how many people in your life you would trust with that photo. If you're like the rest of us, you probably have at most two.
Even more depressing, studies show that about one out of four people have no one they can confide in.culture depression evolution health internet psychology sociology
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23 Apr 08
Travis TaylorSome of your grandparents grew up at a time when nobody had air conditioning. All of their parents grew up without it.
We are physically better off today in every possible way in which such things can be measured ... but you sure as hell wouldn't know th -
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feedergoldfishby David Wong from Cracked.com. A funny and insightful article.
psychology culture sociology relationships communication community
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Kevin LimBrilliantly captures what we've felt in our gut about the nature of friendship today (via Alex Halavias).
society psychology networking interesting cyberculture emotions history myspace socialnetworks humor for:trebor for:jyew for:litford for:brandnewbrain for:lackaff for:triciawang for:djlicata for:priscillatan for:ramblinglibrarian
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Alex HalavaisThis is probably one of the most insightful articles about online friends I have read.
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