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  • For the last 5 years, Buster Benson has taken a picture every day at 8:36pm regardless of what he is doing. Sometimes that picture is fun: a dinner, his son, or a new location. Often, it is boring: a computer screen, television, or even just his feet as he reclines on the couch.


    He realized that we often go through life with filters. We are biased toward the highlights, the new, the shocking, and the information that validates our current worldview. Each day, we share a story of ourselves that is true, but distorted.


    To him, the Quantified Self is as much about self-awareness as it is about data. It empowers us to be conscious of our filters, and to open them to the real, honest, and often boring moments that define our lives.


    As Buster learned, “I can conjure up my death bed at every 8:36pm, and feel my future self thanking me for not taking these uncurated moments for granted.”


    Takeaway: Be aware of the smaller moments that define our lives, and be aware of the choice to think differently about them.


    Additional Resources: This commencement speech by David Foster Wallace speaks more to this idea of everyday awareness.


    For two simple life-logging tools, check out Lifeslice and Memoto.


    For more advice from Buster Benson, read his medium posts and blog.

  • By hacking your sex life, you can influence your motivation. There is a convincing case – backed up by biohacking self-experiments and lots of historical references – that women are happier and perform better when they have more orgasms, and men benefit from far fewer – but longer – orgasms.
  • Advanced practices suggest that for optimum power and energy, ejaculation about once a month is the right amount, although they encourage much more frequent sex (without ejaculation.) I’d quote this source, but it’s from an out-of-print very old book by a Czech Taoist master, and I don’t have it in my vast biohacking book collection anymore. Of course, the info is also on Wikipedia.
  • Nearly all my writing on biohacking in this blog works for both sexes, but in this case the Taoist recommendations for women are very different because, from another source, “A woman’s body uses her orgasm to nourish her body and stimulate vital life qi. She is the receiver (yin) of her partner’s (yang) qi.”


    Better yet, women increase their emotional intelligence (EQ) when they have more frequent orgasms.  And there is fantastic work from New Scientist about how female orgasm unlocks altered consciousness.

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  • Couples therapist Esther Perel says that maintaining a healthy sex life in a long term relationship means reconciling our competing desires for security and novelty, and the tension between having and desiring. In her research there are three elements which couples with healthy sex lives say create ongoing desire: longing for their partner (based on absence), observing confidence in their partner (outside of the bedroom), experiencing novelty and play with their partner (outside of the bedroom). So a healthy sex life springs from desire that it cultivated outside of the bedroom. It may be more useful to track — or simply become more aware of — how you and your partner cultivate desire than it is to track sexual encounters. Observe the times when you desire your partner and aim for more of that.


    “ Erotic couples understand foreplay is not something you do five minutes before the real thing.” — Esther Perel

  • Dave Asprey improved his sex life with his wife by limiting the number of orgasms he allows himself, creating stronger desire to connect with her and more satisfying experiences. He uses personal science to optimize as many aspect of his life as he can, including his marriage. While his methods seem to work for him (I haven’t seen any comments from his wife on the subject), it’s never a good idea to “quantify” your partner without their participation. Personal data can be powerful, but other people’s data — even your spouse’s — is private. Any relationship improvement scheme needs equal participation in order to work.

  • A Virgo man is basically a very caring and lovingly dutiful towards his dears ones and the ones who really need him. He is very practical person and a fairy tale romance in not his cup of tea. He always believes in quality rather than quantity including romance. He neatly adjusts to the concept of partnerships but always needs his personal space so that he can concentrate on his goals. It usually takes a lot of time for him to get into a relationship but once he is there, he has the simplest and warmest way of expression. In relationship with a Cancer woman, he is completely dependable lover with a stable heart.


    A Cancer woman possesses oodles of charisma through which she can easily impress people but still she is humble enough to extend her support to the people in distress. She is modest, superbly imaginative and definitely very emotional. She has all womanhood qualities and grace together with her fluctuating moods which can be a real distress if not handled properly. If she loves somebody then she can wholeheartedly make numerous sacrifices for them. In relationship with a Virgo man, she proves to be a quality mate who is ready to be his companion in all deals of life.

  • The involvement of a Cancer woman with a Virgo man is usually a strong emotional association and a touching experience of many dimensions. He enjoys empathy and closeness given by her for a long time. She stimulates the imagination of her man and stirs his mind with promises that she keeps forever. She understands him well and respects his dreams. She is always there to cheer him up with her lovely sense of humor and decent taste of things. When she is not around, he misses her terribly and feels very lonely. But it is difficult for her to draw a line between possessiveness and general concern for her partner which can suffocate Virgo male, who needs his own space at all times.
  • The Virgo man makes the Cancer woman feel that she won’t be left alone and ignored, to starve and pine away from loneliness.

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  • When Cancer and Virgo make a love match, a strong, down-to-earth relationship with staying power is the happy result. This is a relationship with great potential to get better and better over the passing years. Both Cancer and Virgo are goal-oriented and disciplined. They are sincere and devoted to one another and share a strong sense of purpose. No lightweight love here: These two were not really built for flings! Cancer and Virgo deeply admire one another: Virgo respects Cancer’s quiet strength and dedication while Cancer appreciates Virgo’s keen adaptability and intelligence.
  • The Moon (Emotion) rules Cancer, and Mercury (Communication) rules Virgo. Though they’re very different planets, they’re both near the Sun and therefore always in one another’s neighborhoods. The Moon is a mothering influence; it’s about cultivation and fostering growth, which are both central concerns for Cancer. Mercury is all about communication, and it’s an androgynous energy — Virgo will adapt and take on the form that it chooses, the guise that best serves a situation. Virgo takes an intellectual approach to life (especially compared to the emotional Cancer), but still manages to be perceptive and intuitive enough to figure others out if they choose. Good thing for the Crab, then, that a Virgo mate can get a feel for devotion and domestic fulfillment if that’s what their Cancer lover desires. These two won’t argue about fulfilling one another’s needs. They’ll work at it and relish the rewards of their conscientiousness.
  • Cancer is a Cardinal Sign, and Virgo is a Mutable Sign. While Cancer gets things going, Virgo thrives on a changing routine of responsibilities and challenges. Because they’re so ubiquitous, Virgo will find a place in Cancer’s plans if they really want to. Virgo will keep in mind Cancer’s plans, and will eventually bring results even if Cancer has moved on.

    What’s the best aspect of Cancer-Virgo relationship? Their dedication to working toward the same goals. Both partners in this love match enjoy a stable home life and nice things, and Virgo truly enjoys helping Cancer along the way to achieving their goals. Their shared goals and desires make theirs a highly compatible love match.

  • In an infamous passage in Gone Girl, the elusive “Cool Girl” is described as a woman who declares, “I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2.”

  • When we meet someone, we negotiate all the same rules of class and status and common interest that we always did, but now we also have to carefully negotiate our overlapping channels of communication, as well as their priority. Are you on Twitter? Do you prefer emails to instant message? If we connect on Facebook, will you notice my messages? Are you on Google Hangouts? Is it better to text you to make plans, or Twitter DM? Are you on Whatsapp? Can we solve this problem with a simple short phone call?

    In talking to a lot of people I realized the first thing we are usually trying to establish is a person’s preference for synchronous vs asynchronous communication.

  • Most of my phone-hating friends in general hate synchronous communication and privilege messages coming through via methods they can manage according to their schedule, rather than the schedule of the person initiating contact.
  • Similarity in communication technology styles is slowly becoming a hallmark of compatibility.

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Jun 30, 15

Somehow I find even the thought of filling that in kinda relaxing.

  • Today, China is home to what is speculated to be the largest LGBT community in the world. Grindr, with 5 million global users, was heartily beat out by China's gay geo-social app Blued, now with 15 million users, 12 million within China's borders. The government, on the other hand, remains quiet on the issue.

  • I have some spots in my schedule open. Tutoring, Proofreading, Research, Tarot Readings, Hermetic Initiations, SF Bay Area Tours. (pls RT)
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