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  • I don't know your SO from Adam but I can almost guarantee that for him sex is not just a physical act to achieve orgasm, I'm sure he can do that with his hand pretty reliably by now, but rather it's a way to express love, desire, and intimacy toward you. When I desire sex with my wife, it's not just, "I need something to fuck and your just the most convenient person." Rather it is that my wife is the woman making me feel that desire. Really think about that before you dismiss it out of hand. Now assuming that's how he feels and what he believes and now think about what it means that you don't have that desire. Meaning you don't initiate or spontaneously feel the need to have that intimate encounter with him.
  • You asked what would show him that you still want him and the answer is, initiate. Initiate sex when he least expect it and do it because you want to. If the mood strikes you in the middle of the day, find a way to do it regardless of how hard it is.
  • I think things like "Why do I have to feel this way? It's not like I can guilt my boyfriend into fucking ME when his dick is completely flaccid... and even if I could, I wouldn't want to!" and "The idea of my partner being that turned off while I'm humping away just wouldn't work for me, so why is he completely okay with it?" It just feels so wrong, especially since when I am turned on, I'm a total freak in bed.

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  • The first Europeans to penetrate the Amazon rainforests reported cities, roads and fertile fields along the banks of its major rivers. “There was one town that stretched for 15 miles without any space from house to house, which was a marvellous thing to behold,” wrote Gaspar de Carvajal, chronicler of explorer and conquistador Francisco de Orellana in 1542. “The land is as fertile and as normal in appearance as our Spain.”


    Such tales were long dismissed as fantasies, not least because teeming cities were never seen or talked about again. But it now seems the chroniclers were right all along. It is our modern vision of a pristine rainforest wilderness that turns out to be the dream.


    What is today one of the largest tracts of rainforest in the world was, until little more than 500 years ago, a landscape dominated by human activity, according to a review of the evidence by Charles Clement of Brazil’s National Institute of Amazonian Research in Manaus, and his colleagues.


  • Brandanschlag Reichertshofen Landratsamt ermittelt gegen Nazigegner 


    Eine Woche nach dem schweren Brandanschlag auf eine geplante Asylbewerberunterkunft in Reichertshofen hat das Landratsamt Pfaffenhofen Ermittlungen gegen Neonazigegner eingeleitet. Sie haben möglicherweise gegen das Versammlungsgesetz verstoßen.

  • Am Samstag, zwei Tage nach dem Brandanschlag, hatten sich 20 vor allem junge Leute am Tatort im Reichertshofener Ortsteil Winden zu einer Mahnwache gegen rechte Gewalt versammelt. Nach Ansicht des Landratsamtes hätten sie diese Demonstration jedoch zwei Tage vorher anmelden müssen.

  • About PAPER
    PAPER is an artist-led, commercial gallery based in Manchester and represents a range of emerging and mid-career artists whose practice is based around the medium of paper. This ranges from drawing, painting, and printmaking to artist's books, video, and performance. The gallery opened in August 2012 and has a regular programme of exhibitions, presenting the work of gallery artists as well as providing a platform for outside curatorial projects. In 2013 PAPER instigated an Artist-in-Residence programme, Exploring PAPER, and in 2014 a mentoring scheme for artists based in the North-West of England, funded by Arts Council England.
    Co-directed by artists Andrea Cotton, David Hancock, Simon Woolham, and Rachel Wrigley; PAPER has participated in three editions of The Manchester Contemporary (UK), as well as Trajector Art Fair (Brussels), Sluice Art Fair (London), Supermarket (Stockholm), Project Space Collective at the Affordable Art Fair 2014 (Battersea), Exchange Rates (New York) and Art Projects at London Art Fair 2015 (UK). PAPER was one of the commissioned projects in the Barnaby Festival (UK). 

  • Giving advice on social security provisions, pensions and EU regulations has therefore become more and more important. The staff of the German Welfare Council also tries to help people in financial crisis situations and many other welfare issues which arise from the increased number of employee transfer and their family moving between Germany and the UK.
Jul 25, 15

I cannot remember ever hearing of anything similar happening in Germany, and here it is "reminiscent of the resistance in Walworth last month", so apparently not a singular incident.

  • A really interesting case study on this is japan during WWII and Zen Buddhism.


    Two important works on this topic are "Zen at War" and "Zen War Stories " by Brian Daizen Victoria. These books examine how Zen Masters justified and contributed to pro war propaganda.

  • Here are some quotes from Zen masters during WWII:


    "[If ordered to] march: tramp, tramp, or shoot: bang, bang. This is the manifestation of the highest Wisdom [of Enlightenment]. The unity of Zen and war of which I speak extends to the farthest reaches of the holy war [now under way]." - Harada Daiun Sogaku


    "Showing the utmost loyalty to the emperor is identical with engaging in the religious practice of Mahayana Buddhism. This is because Mahayana Buddhism is identical with the law of the sovereign." -- Seki Seisetsu


    . "I wished to inspire our valiant soldiers with the ennobling thoughts of the Buddha, so as to enable them to die on the battlefield with confidence that the task in which they are engaged is great and noble. I wish to convince them.... that this war is not a mere slaughter of their fellow-beings, but that they are combating an evil." -- Shaku Soen


    "In the present hostilities, into which Japan has entered with great reluctance, she pursues no egotistic purpose, but seeks the subjugation of evils hostile to civilization, peace and enlightenment." -- Shaku Soen

  • First, Buddhism, like other religions, is linked to cultural and national identity. Buddhists would fight in protection of their nationstate and what they perceive as the "keepers of the tradition". They apply a larger-than-life mentality to the warfare. That is to say, the importance of continuing the tradition outweighs the views on morality they hold.

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    That's why I think you guys need to take a step back. Take sex off the table. Start talking about talking. Ask process questions, not content questions - not "how I we fix this?", but "what is it like for you when this happens?" Then don't try to fix it. Fixing things is the last step after lots of exploration and understanding. Share your own experience, but don't respond to his statements that way. Go first and say everything you want to say or go second after you are sure that you have heard and understood everything that he has to say. I would suggest going second, so that you can demonstrate to him that you are actively listening and are not going to make any accusational statement. He's probably going to react defensively as a reflex. It is crucial that you stay calm and reiterate that you love him and are not trying to attack him. When a couple has a pattern of interaction they will tend to fall back into that pattern. You have to recognize your part in that pattern and actively work to do something different.

    • This isn't going to get better. 2 years is far too long to waste trying to fix something that's never going to be fixed. If you had a friend who consistently made you feel unwanted after 2 years of trying would you still try to maintain a friendship with them? You cannot fix something in a relationship if its in the other person and they don't want to fix it.


      Sex isn't that important to your BF. That's cool. He should go find someone who also doesn't find sex that important in a relationship so he can actually be with someone who'll be happy not having an active and fulfilling sex life.


      What are things going to be like 5 years from now if you stay? If you think "better" how did they get better and whats stopping that from happening now and not 5 years time?


      How much more of your life are you going to sink in a relationship you know isn't going to work? When do you decide its time to move on and find someone you're compatible with? The answer for most people is after years and years of disappointment and resentment have reached absolute breaking point and they absolutely cannot handle being so unfulfilled any longer, which is a really bad way to end a relationship and waste years being unhappy. The right answer is as soon as you realize you're not compatible and you're both going to need to go your separate ways to be happy. Our natural inclination as humans is to avoid pain and break ups are fucking painful so we'll always look for "the right time" and try to give things "one more chance", even when we know in our hearts there's never a good time and the only right time is as soon as you've recognized the truth.

    • Your BF might think he's happy being with someone who's sexually unfulfilled (because he doesn't care about sex) but that's not a genuine form of happiness, its just a lazy form of comfort that people confuse with happiness because happiness requires difficult choices. Your BF is only going to be happy in a relationship with someone who feels genuinely fulfilled and cared for, which you clearly don't and aren't going to whilst you're trying to force a square peg into a round hole. Do both of yourselves a favor and leave. You're still young, plenty of time for you both to find someone you're actually compatible with rather than trying over and over to force yourselves to be compatible.

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      • <form class="usertext" action="#" onsubmit="return post_form(this, 'editusertext')" id="form-t1_ctclgj3t86">

        I know your struggle. An ADHD mind and a perfectionist soul is like some sort of cosmic joke. In itself this is not the real issue though, that would be the hopeless procrastination borne of performance anxiety.


        And that is exactly where Straterra helped me.


        [–]PhilemonAndSalomeADHD-PI 20 points21 points  (2 children)

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        An ADHD mind and a perfectionist soul is like some sort of cosmic joke.


        also a one way ticket to at least a mild struggle with depression

    • you what Adhd and perfectionism did to me?


      I wrote a program in bash script... I didn't liked it. so i wrote it in perl.. and then something was missing and i still didn't liked it... so i rewrited in php, and i realised it was the worse decision ever...


      and then i finally meet python =D


      and Flask.. And Django...., i meet angularJS, javascript. every fuck*ng language started to bombard me.


      i just tried to focus on python tried to quiet my head on new ideas, otherwise i would never be able to improve my software =(.

    • Also "mid-sentience" is a hilarious, and still rather appropriate misspelling.
    Jul 23, 15

    This is where my fave yoga instructor does things when he is not doing stuff at superfit

    • Some filters have been put in by Aya, which enable me to explore my emotional life without losing balance or reacting negatively. This enables me to examine my thought patterns and reactions without being carried away – it is as if I have become a researcher of my own inner life!


      Rather than feeling deeply frustrated and passive-aggressive when my needs are not met, I rather wait and think about what I can do for myself in order to alleviate my frustrations. Some examples are: at work, when I simply think about how I will find a new job rather than be annoyed with the one I have. I am more tolerant towards colleagues and rather than letting my irritation build up I  just reflect on the reasons for why I want to quit my job. Similarly, I am able to calmly distance myself from the family drama that is generated by the personal incompatibilities between my parents and siblings.

    • Perhaps it is because Aya has tweaked my serotonin-receptors, but I do feel happier. I laugh more and manage to see things from the bright side of life. Negative events do not affect me as heavily anymore and negative feelings disappear quite quickly once they surface.


      My boyfriend tells me that I seem like a much happier person. He describes it as if I have become a better version of myself following the Aya experience and he compares me to a beacon of light that he really enjoys being near. I seems like I light up his life

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