"Talking to your child about sexual abuse is uncomfortable. We want to empower them, not make them fearful of people."
Open lines of communication between parents and kids go a long way here!
In a word, communicate. But there's more advice in this article about how to keep those lines of communication open between you and your kids so that you know what they are doing online, and with whom. It also points out the importance of being a little tech savvy yourself, so that you know what they are capable of doing with the devices they are using.
The point of this article is actually the opposite of the headline, it's a bit tongue and cheek. However, it is a legitimate problem. People see mental hospitals as being full of dangerous people, "them", but in reality there are people all around us who are dealing with mental illness and could use the resources from a mental hospital that is nearby!
Just show up. It's that simple.
"Far too automatically, people associate childhood sexual abuse with girls yet boys suffer as well. Quite possibly, they do so in greater numbers than you might expect."
I've purposely not written about the Duggars, because frankly, I don't like the fact that many people feel like either they can write for the victims, which isn't fair, if they choose to speak up, or not, that is their choice, or others who only want to write about them to highlight how abuse happens within a religion/culture they happen not to like. (Hint, it happens everywhere, their religion didn't cause this, as much as I might not agree with their beliefs.) It was nice to see Marcia take a big news story and instead of turning it into a vendetta or defense of the family, just use it as a learning tool for what parents can do when faced with sibling sexual abuse, which is something that we don't talk about enough.
Mostly, this is good advice, but I hesitate to put this out there. Many people, when dealing with someone who has experienced trauma, or mental illness, wind up walking on eggshells, afraid of "re-traumatizing" so much that being around them becomes uncomfortable for everyone. I would add to always remember that this is still the person you've always known, try not to act too differently around them, that only adds to the impression that something is wrong with them, as opposed to being a normal symptom of trauma.
I saw a brief mention of this story when it first came out, but I had not seen any of the details. Interesting how this doesn't fit the "stereotype" in so many ways.
I've been reading a book about trauma off and on, review is coming eventually, and I find this to be very consistent with the ideas in there. Good things to keep in mind for you own, or a loved one's trauma.
How many decisions are based on overcoming shame that doesn't belong to us, or how many opportunities are passed up because we feel inadequate? I know it took me years to understand that I could accomplish just about anything, and I'm still deathly afraid of failing, even though I have before and know it's not the end of the world.
Sadly, this is true.for all victims, but I feel like it is especially true for male victims of sexual abuse. We're supposed to tough it out and not show any weakness, especially hockey players of all people! But healing really comes from being able to talk about it, whether that be publicly or privately.
This is tough. Most of us don't want to do anything but punish pedophiles, but at the same time, if we are truly trying to protect kids, not having any information at all about pedophilia is problematic. How do we know what we're doing now works without the ability to study people with a professed attraction to children?
In the end, I'm for anything that works to protect kids as much as possible, and against anything that doesn't actually protect them. That's why I find much of the knee-jerk reaction that passes for "laws" in the US to be a problem. It doesn't actually make any kids safer, but it makes us all feel better for "doing something", no matter how ill-thought that something is. I would like more research, I would like a way to help anyone attracted to children to avoid hurting children, and I would like a way to prevent anyone bent on sexually abusing children from having access to children at all. Right now, we aren't accomplishing that.
Lots of good information here, especially because, in my experience, I do not think many parents would react this way. It's too difficult to react emotionally, one way or another, and not do what's best for all of your children.
Were you sexually abused by a sibling? What kinds of complications did that create within the family dynamic?
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