"What kind of relief is affordable, efficient, effective and nontoxic?
The answer is touch. Hugs and other forms of non-sexual physical soothing, such as hand-holding and head-stroking, intervene at the physical level to help the brain and the body calm down from overwhelming states of anxiety, panic and shame."
Sadly, for many survivors of sexual abuse, the easy healing power of a hug is beyond our capacity. Physical touch can be very disturbing for some survivors. On the other hand, it is something that can change as we heal. There was a time when the thought of being touched in a non-sexual way was utterly unbelievable to me, but now I can enjoy a good hug as much as the next person.
And a hug really does calm me.
"Cross-platform note-taking service Evernote has announced new limits for its Basic account holders on the same day the company hiked the prices on its paid subscription plans.
Users of Evernote's free Basic plan will soon be limited to using the service on no more than two devices, such as a computer and a phone, two computers, or a phone and a tablet. "
I can't help but think this is going to push a lot of people over to OneNote. I'm a paid Evernote user because I sometimes need offline notes on my mobile devices, but I use Evernote across 5 devices now, so there's no chance that I could even consider going back to a free EverNote account.
Does this change have you switching?
Interesting, because a lot of the examples given here are similar to ways I use the camera in my iPhone too. Yes, occasionally I use it to take photos, but when I'm really looking to shoot photos, I take my DSLR.
The iPhone is just the camera I have with me, all the time, which makes it great for recording information I'm going to need later, or documents that I want to have a digital copy of immediately, like receipts.
It certainly would be nice if Apple would make it easier for me to work with those sort of photos. As it is, I have one big folder full of stuff, and I have to remember to move things out when I don't need them anymore, by manually selecting them from the folder.
There are better ways, if Apple will just understand how many of us use the iPhone camera.
“For example, hacking is much more prevalent now than it was even nine years ago,” he said. “Now, it seems unreasonable to think that a computer connected to the Web is immune from invasion.”<br /><br />As a result, Tor users “cannot reasonably expect” to be safe from hackers, he added.
This is a bizarre train of thought. By connecting to the internet you are, according to this judge, expecting to be hacked, and therefore, even though hacking is an illegal act, you have no expectation of privacy.
There are those who will not be happy until the only privacy we have is inside of our own heads. At least until we perfect brain scanning!
“I have learned,” she writes, “that when you teach kindness and compassion to students and they really understand the concept, everything else falls into place. This should be the first lesson of every teacher.”
Looking at other people with kindness prevents the kind of dehumanization that I've written about before. It's when we see other people as being "less than" that we see all sorts of abusive, anti-social, and sometimes violent behavior. In general, we don't treat other people that way when we are looking out for their best interests.
An alcoholic home is chaotic and unpredictable.
This is something that has a profound effect on the development of children. We see it among abuse survivors, and we see it with kids who grew up in broken homes, and dysfunctional families. (And the fact that there is a lot of crossover in those groups, should tell us something about how kids grow up in these situations and where they will struggle in adulthood.)
I recognize a lot of myself in these.
That is what makes me better now, why I seem happy. I try my best not to listen, and some days I am really strong. I push it down with dreams of the future, of a life where I might one day be happy. I know how to fix myself now, I know I will beat this. However, I need you to understand more than anything that everyday is still a battle for me. It may seem silly to you, but for me this is all so real and so difficult. So when you say I am lazy or weak or pathetic you cut deep into my wounds. You make me doubt everything I am trying to do, and you become just like those voices. As well as shouting at me, telling me to snap out of it, telling me the voices are my fault, you might as well be a part of my illness too. You may forget your words or your actions, but depression takes great satisfaction in storing it and playing it back to me. I don’t expect you to fully understand, but can you please just accept this is happening to me? That alone will make me ten times stronger. That is all I need from you.
So many people feel like they have to do something to help their loved ones "snap out of it" when it comes to depression, when really, don't you think anyone who could snap out of it would be trying to do that? Just be there and accept the struggle, that is all you have to do to make a huge difference.
The TraffickCam app enables travelers to submit pictures of hotel rooms around the world. The images are matched against a national database used by police.<br /><br />“You just enter your hotel room, and your room number. You take four pictures, and you submit them to the website,” Washington University Researcher and TraffickCam developer Abby Stylianou said. “And then those become part of the pipeline that law enforcement can use to track down where the victims are being trafficked.”
As a frequent hotel visitor, this is something I plan to take a look at. I have no idea how well it works, or how effective it is, but if something as simple as taking a few photos and uploading them can even potentially help, it may be worth it.
"New platforms can be tools for connection with colleagues and outside experts, but can also serve as distractions while on the job"
The results of the Pew Research study really tell us that social media is like any other tool, and yes I called it a tool. You can use it to get information and learn things that help you do your job better, or grow your career, you can use it to keep in touch with people who are important to you, and you can also use it to watch cat videos and waste time in a myriad number of ways.
Just like the internet in general, the phone, television, and so on. Using social media during work time is probably a little of helping people do their job, and also a little of wasting time.
Try and control how employees use social media won't change that, in fact, it might drive away the folks who do use it to grow their career, who choose to work somewhere that supports that.
"Stand up comedy seems to be so easy: you just enter the stage and start joking. There are no bullet point lists, no screens, no pauses – just the comedian speaking on and on, entertaining the audience.
Now it suddenly seems less easy, right? Well, the reality is stand up comedy is not easy at all, because you need to master a lot of skills, apart from having enough humor to make an entire audience laugh for two to three hours on end. Comedians know how to keep their audience engaged, which means you can learn a lot from these funny people about public speaking."
This is advice I've heard before, and the more I thought about it at the time, the more I realized that having watched a lot of stand up comedy as a young person, I had subconsciously learned quite a bit about how to be in front of an audience, and how to tell a story to get a point across without even really thinking about it.
Because that's what good stand-ups do, they tell stories and they keep people engaged with what they are talking about. While I'm not necessarily trying to be funny all day when training, I do need to be aware of subtle things I can do to make a point, and keep people engaged. I probably picked a lot of that up without even realizing it.
"Discrimination by therapists compounds the already steep obstacles Americans face in accessing mental health care. There are shortages of mental-health providers even in wealthy areas, and more than half of all counties in the U.S. have no practicing psychiatrists, psychologists, or social workers. In any given year, about one in five Americans has a mental illness, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, but nearly 60 percent of those people don’t get services."
As the article states, finding a therapist for anyone is difficult, especially for minorities and working class patients. How disappointing it must be to finally muster the strength to ask for help, and then not get it.
We need a way to do better. I don't know what it is, but we need to be looking at it.
Here’s how it works. The agreement, in addition to raising the city’s share of the money by extending a series of tax hikes that are currently paying for the Cowboys’ Stadium, includes an “admissions and parking tax”—a surcharge on tickets and parking. That’s normal, and is a big part of most stadium financing deals.<br /><br />But in just about every other case, the city (or county/state) uses that tax to pay its share of the stadium’s cost. In this case, the Rangers get to use that tax money to pay down their own stadium debt.
Is there a worse way to spend municipal funds than to get into agreements with billionaire owners to build stadiums? I can't imagine what it would be.
A jaguar used in an Olympic torch relay ceremony was shot to death after it escaped its leash and tried to attack a soldier, the Brazilian army said Tuesday.
Things are not going very smoothly in the lead up to the Olympic Games in Rio. I'm a bit worried about how the Games themselves will turn out. Usually we see some stories like this come out and then things pretty much come together, but it seems like there have just been more stories about things that could go wrong in Rio than usual.
Mental illnesses don’t discriminate based on socioeconomic status, gender or race. It can befall anyone, for any reason, at any time, and they’ll hide it. They’ll hide it because they know our society thinks they don’t matter. We’ve been telling them that for years. Weird. Crazy. Odd. Quiet. Not normal. And we judge. We judge so much that they are unable to beat what seems inevitable to some of them.
We judge, and people die instead of getting help.
"Now consider our abuse occurring during this childhood developmental stage, before our little brains have opportunity to grow, develop and experience different perspectives. We are stuck and frozen in a time continuum with one-or-the-other or black and white thinking. Our world partly becomes defined by the perceptions we held during the abusive experience. These perceptions, fueled by pain, guilt and shame, follow us into adulthood. As male survivors, no room for gray thinking often leads to lives devoid of supportive male relationships."
I've seen it myself many times with survivors, and I've even seen it in myself. There is no gray, people are either good to me, or bad to me. They either love me, or are out to hurt me.
The truth, however, is never that simple. People are complicated. Some should be avoided, but most come with a mix of fun, supportive, occasions, and other occasions that involve personal drama. That is life.
Not all men are out to abuse me. Being a man now, how could I logically believe that? That would imply that I am too. That's silly.
Go read the challenge to this black and white thinking put forward in the article. It may help you get out of that rut!
"“People are more willing to share an article than read it. This is typical of modern information consumption,” said the study’s co-author Arnaud Legout in a statement. “People form an opinion based on a summary, or a summary of summaries, without making the effort to go deeper.”"
We have reached this point as a society, where opinions are formed based almost entirely on headlines. We see a headline that appears to agree with something we believe, and we share it. Whether the source was accurate, or the article actually said what we assumed it to be about, is irrelevant. The "news" is out there, and as they say, a lie is halfway around the world before the truth even gets it's pants on.
There is a lot of commonly held truth out there, that isn't true.
It's dangerous to spread information out there that you haven't read, and this pattern of reading only the headline, and then sharing is probably why we have an internet full of ridiculous website headlines, instead of well-thought out and articulate writing. It's all about the headline baby, no one cares about the rest.
We have only ourselves to blame for it too.
As detailed in a series of tweets, someone posing as Mckesson called Verizon Friday morning. Armed with the last four digits of his Social Security number, the attacker was able to change the registered SIM on Mckesson's account to one they controlled, redirecting all calls and texts.
Two factor authorization is a great way to protect your online accounts. It relies on two separate things, one something you know (your password), the other being something you have, typically your phone.
So if your phone isn't likewise protected, the whole thing comes crashing down.
Check with your cell phone provider about whether they can setup a PIN to prevent changes to your account. Might as well get an extra layer of security to the thing you have that is such an important part of your online security.
So yes: those of us that are hurting want you to pray for us. Pray for your family member who's depressed. Pray for your fellow church member whose anxiety has kept then from attending in weeks. Pray for the person who you've heard is battling an addiction or a manic episode or any other thing.<br /><br />And then offer to drive them to a counselor.<br /><br />Pray, and then move.
When I was in the worst of my struggles, I appreciated the people who said they were praying for me, that was nice. I appreciated more the people who prayed for me, and then sat with me, or brought me lunch, or offered to drive me where I needed to be.
If someone around you is struggling with mental health issues, or healing from child abuse, or anything else, by all means pray for them, think good thoughts for them, or anything else. But also do what you can for them, even if it's something small. You're not there to cure them, you're there to do what you can to support them.
We are who we are because we are better than those who abused our innocence. We might wake each day in a fog begging ourselves to not dwell on the past, to not allow one memory to ruin a day—but even if we do, we have not lost. Surviving it is not losing.<br /><br />We are grieving for what we will never have. And that is okay.
So true, we have not lost, we have survived. We get to live on, we get to overcome, and we get to spend years living, with the good and the bad days.
Go read the whole thing, including the 5 things Antanika did get her life back.