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Chris Morrow

Chris Morrow's Public Library

  • After a particularly bad date several weeks back I googled this girls name and apparently she was involved in some demonstration in which she removed all her clothing and was arrested.

      

    Obviously I reached back out to this girl after said date.

  • I’d call the Trump campaign a clown-show but clown shows are extremely well choreographed. 

  • Trump is quite media savvy. He thrives on melodrama. Don’t be surprised if Cruz’s non-endorsement speech was self-serving for both of them. A guy like Trump needs enemies; if he didn’t have any, then he would have to invent them.

     

  • What they should have done was go to Cruz and tell him he didn’t have to endorse but to lose the “vote your conscience” line. The press makes a comment about him not endorsing but it doesn’t become a big deal/story about the uproar in the convention and the divided party.

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  • Also, and you may not have meant to imply this r317, but the trope that "men are just bad at [mundane task they would rather have women do]" is broadly damaging. I like to put it this way: if women are so much better at so many things, why are men paid so much more? It must be a huge burden having men employees fumbling and forgetting their ways around the office.
  • I think one way to fight against this is for people to really understand that there is no normal. There is no default setting for who does what around the house. You get to make up your own normal, and you get to negotiate it explicitly ahead of time, and you get to re-negotiate it over and over again as things grow and change. ... If a more “traditional” division of labor feels good* and make sense to you, by all means, do that, but don’t do it as a default. Negotiate it. Verbally work out how and when everything will be done."
  • I don't think it's really about dates; it's about not expecting your female partner to remember them for you. Which happens! I have been given the side-eye occasionally from older in-laws when husband forgot a birthday and I did not step in and get the card/whatever. But now people no longer expect me to do that; they give him shit if he forgets, but that's on him.

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  • Speaking up about this sort of thing or engaging with the topic at all is to risk being caught up in a no-true-Scotsman argument which nobody can win, because there are a *lot* of people out there on Twitter, Tumblr, and sometimes Metafilter who are only looking to score more-self-righteous-than-thou points.
     
     There's a significant chance of being publicly pilloried for trying to construct a positive dialogue but inflecting one word incorrectly, and very little possibility of significant recognition for simply having said the right thing.
     
     That doesn't mean it's not important to do, just an observation that right now the ROI for engaging with the topic at all is extremely risky/decidedly poor for men, no matter how well-intentioned they might be. To be perfectly honest, I'm terrified of how people will react to my pointing this out.
  • Gaaaah, that "Feminist Father" shirt (seen in the "it shouldn't take having a daughter" link). It's nice that the guy acknowledges that it's "her body, her rules," but if you have to read that on a woman's father's polo shirt, it kinda undermines her authority.
  • From what I gather, where the English bible says "The meek shall inherit the earth" the French version is "The nonchalant shall inherit the earth." I will suggest that it is possible to take a stand on such things in a less confrontational manner and this will make it lower risk, higher gain, for both the individual making the statements (you or whomever) and people generally.

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  • When the guy came back to close, I asked him about the thing one of them had written - like, hey, maybe it wasn't you, but one of your friends definitely wrote this and what's up with that? He first tried to gauge whether I was upset about it, then tried to laugh it off, then was all "I really do apologize, well, you know, we've been drinking, but this isn't normally how we are, again, I apologize."
     
     Yeah, yeah. Hand caught in the cookie jar. Meanwhile none of them apologized to the waitress. I have no doubt how those guys "really are."
     
     I bring this up because I can't tell if Muhammad is really contrite; it seems more like he's agreeing with what Laura says in the hopes that she'll still get with him. He's still trying lines on her and saying that well, at least she responded! I don't know if guys like this experience "learning moments" that teach them to emphasize more with other humans, or just "learning moments" that show them they can be dicks to everyone and get away with it if they occasionally act contrite when caught. I dunno.
  • I love the idea that women being fed up with this bullshit and using social media and other public venues to say so, is creating this really hostile environment that's making people uncomfortable.

  • The popular theory of the moment is that men are staying out of college because they are squeamish about entering female-oriented professions like teaching or nursing. And yet, when they do enter teaching and nursing, they are generally given positions of authority and power at faster and higher rates, and assumed to be more competent in their roles. So I am one of the women that would like to see 50-50 gender parity, but also can't shed too many tears for men who aren't going to college because it's too girly, but who could if they wanted to, and would most likely be treated better than women on top of it.

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    Another supposedly near-universal form of female emotional labor that is completely foreign to me.
     
     Extreme laziness FTW again! A+++ would recommend.
  • I don't think I've ever been as emotionally stable as I have this week. What I need is not to hide. I need people to tell the truth about men; no more excuses or rationalizations, no "well you're better than most" or anything else that lets me off the hook; that's not fair to my partner, and it's not fair to me either, because it tells me the patriarchal lies are true, everything's fine, just carry on, and then I am just as stuck as I was before. I need to stop feeling like women can validate me and make me real.

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  • [Philip] Roth and [Saul] Bellow write about mysterious attractions and breast shape; [Elena] Ferrante and [Jane] Austen write about the practical quest to find an intellectual and emotional peer. [...]
     
     This is the most concise expression of why I would be fine with literally never seeing another man again that I have ever read!

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    Yeah, this is the right answer. Pedants can howl and wail all they want but, in practice, the year 2000 was the first year of the third millennium in the public perception. De facto trumps de jure.  – Jack Aidley  39 mins ago 
     
     
      

  • Likewise, the claim that a "cellular phone ringer uses more than 100 volts for excitation" is a curious artifact of the "regular" telephone era: cellular phones don't have ringers; they produce audio tones that simulate the sound of a ringing telephone.
  • News reports routinely attribute gas pump fires to cell phone use whenever a fire occurs at a service station where such a phone was in use at the time, and police and firefighters at the scene often simply assume the connection between the two to be valid. Later investigations, however, have always shown in such cases that the press reports were wrong, that something else (usually a discharge of static electricity) touched off the fires, and the presence of cell phones was coincidental rather than causal.  <!-- In a world where people are increasingly unwilling to allow even the <I>possibility</I> of something going wrong, however, we're bound to see even more regulations "protecting" us from yet another non-existent threat. --> 

  • Move to an unhip town. Added bonus? If your game was good enough for a hip, expensive city you'll be more likely to be a star.
    posted by codswallop at 2:22 PM on May 10, 2014 [16 favorites]


     
    That's interesting advice -- head to a smaller pond, fish. I'd love to read an anthropological study of that, and have to believe the side-effects could be quite positive.
    posted by mr. digits at 2:24 PM on May 10, 2014


     
    Sometimes it's not stardom that compels us to hip cities. Sometimes it's safety.
    posted by divabat at 2:27 PM on May 10, 2014 [58 favorites]


     
    Moving to an unhip town is much less than useful advice for people who have careers where the jobs are all centralized in the expensive locations.
     
     I'm currently apartment hunting in Oakland and it sucks.
    posted by Nimmie Amee at 2:28 PM on May 10, 2014 [71 favorites]

  •  
    If your game was good enough for a hip, expensive city you'll be more likely to be a star.
     
     Because smaller towns are flush with plum career opportunities in my field of expertise, right?
    posted by Metroid Baby at 2:32 PM on May 10, 2014 [133 favorites]


     
    "Just move to Tampa and create a theater scene duhhhh." -people in geographically-agnostic industries
    posted by Potomac Avenue at 2:32 PM on May 10, 2014 [62 favorites]
  • This is not a mysterious or causeless trend, despite the stupid NYT article's claim that the market itself is somehow "tightening," as though markets just do things sometimes.
     
     Hedge funds have been investing heavily and aggressively in rental properties for some time now. I strongly suspect that the increase in prices is explained mostly by that activity.

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  • Sex is not a transaction whereby one person gives an orgasm to another, and then vice versa, according to a series of universally optimized sex moves.

  • In testament to Meredith, and Serling's script (and John Brahm's direction), we get a clear, unblinking picture of a man pushed out to the end of his rope, and this is one more reason why that ending is so awful. Bemis isn't happy that everyone is gone, he doesn't gloat over his good fortune. If he did, than this would be a fable with a rote comeuppance: be careful what you wish for, that sort of thing. But no, he sits there in some abandoned lot with a gun pointed to his head, fully intending to pull the trigger in his misery. Then he remembers the library, and, for a moment, has hope.
    • There was a long time when I tried to convince myself that Bemis's situation wasn't really as awful as it seemed--he could maybe find some replacement lenses somewhere, right? But no; everything looks wrecked, and even if it wasn't, Serling and Meredith make it very clear how close Bemis is to the edge before he finds the books. This is not a man in the mood to MacGyver something up.
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    • It’s sort of amazing how pervasive the myth of the American small town is. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an old-fashioned soda fountain, yet I know exactly how they work thanks to things like “Walking Distance.” This is just one of those things we don’t seem willing to let go of (nor should we, I guess).
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