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Chris Morrow

Chris Morrow's Public Library

  • This is like listening to someone who has some kind of obscure religious restriction that's totally foreign to you. "OMG, I didn't realize it was after midnight on July 31st, which means I had sex in August! That's forbidden! I'm so ashamed!" You sympathize, but you can't really relate...


    You realize a lot of people use online dating because they're really busy or looking for something very specific, etc.? It just seems a bit more logical than trying to find someone compatible at the bus stop.

  • I'm a 29 year old dude from a sex positive area/upbringing and that comment was the most action I've gotten in like 2 months. Yeah and I'm sporting a chub too.


    Oh yeah found my problem: on reddit at 8:30 on a Saturday! Go me!

  • The church I'm from is big on gender roles, so I get the whole "men should initiate" thing. Whether or not this is "right" in modern times, it does seem like a cached societal expectation.

      [–]343GuiltyShart 152 points153 points  (4 children)

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      My first girlfriend put my hand on her breast and I thought it had to be a mistake. I actually moved it back.


      [–]Djugdish 76 points77 points  (2 children)

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      Fucking adorable.


      [–]yulip 39 points40 points  (1 child)

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      "Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry."


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  • Sprint users are getting a treat today in the form of WiFi calling, a new service that gives subscribers the ability to place calls and sends texts over a wireless network for absolutely free. There is a catch, though. WiFi calling, as of now, is only available on an extremely select number of Android handsets — two, to be exact.


    The Samsung Galaxy Mega and <!--SHR -->Samsung Galaxy S4 Mini<!-- EHR --> are, as of now, the only device’s in Sprint’s stable that will enable users to avoid any limits or charges associated with their standard wireless service by routing calls over any WiFi network. These handset will be able to take advantage of the feature after receiving an over-the-air update.


    If those seem like odd choices as the flagship devices for Sprint’s WiFi calling, they are, but fear not. Sprint says more devices will be receiving the capabilities as the year rolls on.

  • Prior research has shown that narcissists report very high explicit self-esteem (what they tell you about themselves), but lower implicit self-esteem (how they perform on the IAT). This research is consistent with long-standing beliefs about narcissism (e.g., psychoanalytic theories of narcissism) and seems to support the idea that narcissists don't really like themselves that much deep down inside.


    Here's where a detailed analysis of psychological methods pays off. Campbell et al. noticed that a lot of the words used in the IATs of past studies were pretty communal sounding. Communal words are those that imply a connection between people. For example, the word "smile" might be considered communal because smiling facilitates social bonding. One thing that we know about narcissists is that they are not communally oriented. They're all about themselves. Indeed, past research shows that narcissists don't think very positively of themselves in terms of their relationships with others (i.e., communally). Therefore, if your IAT words are communal, then it should not be surprising that narcissists fail to quickly categorize the positive words as being "like me" and the negative words as being "not like me." In other words, communal IATs may be biased toward producing evidence of low implicit self-esteem in narcissists.

  • Narcissists, like others who suffer from addictive/compulsive behaviors, are engaged in a never-ending search for narcissistic supplies. That has to take its toll, on some level, the narcissist must have some awareness that this behavior is not the norm for many others who are capable of making and sustaining significant relationships over time.

  • But, what does a narcissist do with that question, and the answer that follows? And what does a non-narcissist do with it? Therein lies the difference.


    If your own issues are rooted in those of your parents, and you examine them, identify helpful and un-helpful coping mechanisms, and go on to change in ways that help you relate to the world in a healthy way...then surely that exemplifies non-narcissistic traits.


    If, instead, you continue acting out in destructive ways, and justify/excuse your behavior by blaming others, those are narcissistic behavior patterns.

  • And you probably do the only thing you've ever seen people do when they're criticized - you get defensive and criticize right back. You have to, right? The person must be out to get you - that's what feedback IS - a personal attack! So maybe you point the finger and refuse to hear them, or else, you're going to be emotionally destroyed by them. You've seen that work.


    I find this interesting, I am wondering how many people get the opposite reaction? Because what I really learned was more 'walking doormat' behavior. React to criticism or attack by basically curling up like a sowbug - because criticizing/fighting back just meant the adult temper tantrum of criticism would be worse. So rather than any 'prickly' or agressive behavior, my default reaction to any sort if attack, criticisms, or conflict is escape or cowering.

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    you could try dating unemployed guys, homeless guys, uneducated guys, guys with drinking or drugs problems, or much older guys, or guys in unhappy marriages. these would all be serious deal-breakers for a lot of women, so statistically speaking, these guys are much more likely to want to date you, since you, if you are slim and curvy and have a good personality and dress well and make good conversation, would be a much more attractive woman than what they would hope to get on average.


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      I had some weird thing in my mind where we'd be best friends and then he would proclaim his love for me in some overt gesture and we'd embrace and kiss.


      The reality is a lot less cinnamatic.

        • [–]StevenMC1929/m/DE/Wiki Pimp. Everything I say has some subliminal advice 15 points16 points  (10 children)

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          "This is my competition?!"


          [–]BroligarchyIt's not about making good decisions; it's about best decisions. 20 points21 points  (2 children)

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          Especially when it's hilariously useless that they say that. Yes, that's your competition, and you're still doing poorly enough to whine here.


          [–]StevenMC1929/m/DE/Wiki Pimp. Everything I say has some subliminal advice 9 points10 points  (1 child)

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          Exactly. Guess what, dude! Your 4 paragraph message that took thirty minutes to write is JUST AS BAD as "I want to ride you like a three pence pony."

        • [–]heyitsthatguygoddamn11/M/rawbadawb - BACK IN BUSINESS OKAY 3 points4 points  (5 children)

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          Dude don't get me started on that. the dudes in my area have got NOTHING on me.


          I made a fake female profile in my area and maybe got 3 ok messages out of a god awful 300.


          Biggest ego boost I've ever received since ever, really.


          EDIT: Clarified some stuff


          [–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (3 children)

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          If your ego is feeling too big, remember that deep down you're insecure enough to make a female profile in order to try and feel better by condemning your fellow man.


          [–]heyitsthatguygoddamn11/M/rawbadawb - BACK IN BUSINESS OKAY 10 points11 points  (1 child)

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          Dude I've wrestled with all those demons already the drag queen thing was only a phase


          I'm streets ahead


          [–]femanonette30/F/polite as fuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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          Bravo! Don't stoop to his level.


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      • I could never do skydiving without a parachute.
         I could never do your mom without a few drinks.
         I could never do you understand the words that are coming without of my mouth?

      • One thing to keep in mind is that there's a difference in first date experience for men and women: men have probably sent out dozens of messages, and are now meeting the ones who happened to respond, whereas women have filtered through dozens, and are now meeting the ones they've specifically chosen. As such, their expectations are higher, and you can assume an initial level of attraction and interest.


          [–]pxl8this is why we can't have nice things... 0 points1 point  (25 children)

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          I think a guy kissing me on the first date has ALWAYS resulted in me not seeing him again.


          [–]ScaryCookieMonster34/M/ looks too serious to be him 12 points13 points  (24 children)

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          Just to add to the anecdotes, my experience has been almost exactly the opposite. If we don't at least kiss on the first date, we're probably not going to get to a third date.


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        One of the worst times I almost crashed due to rider error was because my eyes lingered too long on dat ass, when a girl in a bikini was crossing the street as I rode through a beach town. I still have to sit down and take a breath when I think back to that badonk.


          • [–]thingsgetwhatever 1 point2 points  (6 children)

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            I think the key to the talking is moderation. I mean, I don't want a two hour conversation detailing sex for the evening. Talk, but don't talk it to death. "Talk about it" doesn't have to mean a long, drawn out conversation.


            [–]noimnotohyesyouare[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children)

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            Good point.....tbh I'm used to dating very talky feminists (I also think of myself as a feminist), and so recently dating girls with more typical gendered expectations of men taking control has me a little confused about how to handle stuff.

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          Or an overly sensitive clit. My wife hates head. It's painful for her. She comes through PIV sex, and she comes early and often. While I enjoy licking pussy, I'm not going to complain that she gets off by getting fucked. It's sort of perfect.


          • I will say that we've gotten better together at sex over the past two years because of info from /r/sex but our slow progress has been frustrating. I feel like I should have known all this stuff ages ago and it depresses me to feel so ignorant of my lover's body after being together 25+ years. :(
          • (1 child)

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            When someone here says they're great at sex, I tend to doubt them.


            When someone here says they had a lover who made them feel amazing, I tend to believe those stories a lot more.

            • (1 child)

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              When someone here says they're great at sex, I tend to doubt them.


              When someone here says they had a lover who made them feel amazing, I tend to believe those stories a lot more.


            1 more annotation...

            • My friend's dad told me this in high school: "It's not the face you gotta fuck. It's the fuck you gotta face."


              True. Although, face fucking is a thing.

            • the separation of the terms "ally" and "feminist" has nothing to do with softpedaling the term "feminist" to make people like it more, it is an attempt to include men and male allies under the umbrella of feminism without allowing them the privilege of being able to dictate the terms of their emancipation to women who actually have to live it every day.
            • Some female feminists will tell antisexist men that they should call themselves feminists when they don't want to (and will tell women that, see Furrygirl's rant)
              Others will tell antisexist men not to call themselves femininsts.

              I am of the opinion that people are better, ultimately, at checking privilege than credit is given for and that nobody can really be excluded based only on their identity.

            • Many of hooks’s readers are white guys; certainly most of the subscribers to Postmodern Culture are. And have you ever considered the volume of material and cultural capital upon which this discourse rests? To participate in this e-mail discussion one not only has to have a modem, but also a position of some status in or near the state bureaucracy. And you also have to know how to talk the postmodern talk. Hooks knows where postmodern theory comes from and approaches it warily...


            • While her snobbish WASP-y mother tries to convince her she doesn’t belong in prison with “these women,” Piper resists the other-ing impulse. “I’m in here because I made bad choices. I’m no different than anyone else.” As soon as her mother leaves, Piper complains to another White inmate about her mother, who promptly chastises her for whining. “At least you have a mother who visits you,” she says. “Everyone’s shit stinks, but some stinks more than others.” The show’s ability to recognize both the author’s privilege and her common humanity with other prisoners is what saves it from the kind of exploitative profit-seeking its critics would like to believe it embodies.

            • At first, I likened these confessions to a parallel trend, that of the “bad mom” memoirs and essays that regularly circulate through the blogosphere and publishing world. But they’re not the same at all. The performativity of those, at least, has something of a rationale: It’s less about actually being a bad mom than it is about showing that you fancy yourself a cool, nonconformist mom. Trumpeting your feminist infractions, on the other hand: Sure, you’re being honest. But is it an honesty that anyone needs?

            • There is skepticism that singling out bottled water is necessarily the best option, as there is a worry that soft drinks will be purchased more frequently in place of bottled water because of the convenience the disposable bottle offers.[6]

            • Eleven years later members of the LDS Church chose Las Vegas as the site to build a fort halfway between Salt Lake City and Los Angeles, where they would travel to gather supplies. The fort was abandoned several years afterward. The remainder of this Old Mormon Fort can still be seen at the intersection of Las Vegas Boulevard and Washington Avenue.


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