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Andrew Kippen

Andrew Kippen's Public Library

  • When I’m asleep, I’m aware that I’m dreaming. I find myself flying, running, exploring, or playing in a virtual reality where I have some control over aspects of the scene and setting. This dream leaves impressions that are as strong or even stronger than anything I experience when I’m awake. It’s fascinating and it’s extremely powerful and it’s all in my own mind.
  • I went though a breakup with a long-term partner with whom I have four children. During that time, I got lucid. I was standing in the hallway and there was a door and I said, right, I’m not afraid of this door, and on the other side, I want to see a group of people that I know and I trust and we are going to come up with a solution to this problem. And so I went through the door. And there were about ten of my good friends in there, guys I grew up with, and some former colleagues from when I was at sea. 

     

    I trusted them because we worked together in such extreme conditions. So my subconscious had populated this room with a whole bunch of people who I felt comfortable with and we sat down and worked out the strategies for getting the settlement that suited both me and my former partner. So a very practical application is to have dialogue in the dream and come up with solutions. I find that quite powerful. The next day, I called up my lawyer and figured out an agreement.

  • I like to fly and feel the cool air on my skin. I like the feeling of being flooded by light and energy. This can leave an afterglow for up to two days. Sometimes I have an urge to destroy and it’s normally buildings, so I wreck a whole city just for fun. I like visiting bakeries and gorging on doughnuts and cakes and desserts. I sing in the most perfect voice — this is coming from a person who was singled out by the teacher in school choir and told to pretend and not actually make any noise. I like creating space ships and flying them — organic ships that are living and full of wicked high-tech toys. I love running. I don’t run in real life, but I run when I dream and I wake up with a sense of having had that run. So I feel like a runner even though I only do that in lucid dreams. I like playing with my kids and reliving the memory the next day.

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  • Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Yet, in the real world, this obvious question is almost never asked. Instead, the question we ask is more problem focused: “What’s broken, and how do we fix it?”
  • “What’s working, and how can we do more of it?”
  • The more choices the Rider is offered, the more exhausted the Rider gets.

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  • For me, obsessing about specific devices was a bad path (they change too frequently), obsessing about iOS versus Android OS was a bad path (they are both important) and obsessing about phone versus tablet was a bad path (they have merged into one larger category of portable screen and continue to evolve all the time).
  • Information via screens not devices — this is the key idea.

  • "You  have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour, now you  must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour.  And there  are things to be considered . . .    

     

    Where  are you living?
      What are you doing?
       What are your relationships?
      Are you in right relation?
      Where is your water?
      Know your garden.
      It is time to speak your Truth.
      Create your community.
      Be good to each other.
      And do not look outside yourself for the leader."
       

     

    Then he clasped his  hands together, smiled, and said, "This could be a good time!"

  • "We are the ones we've been waiting for."

  • Across cultures and throughout history, we all visit bizarre, visionary worlds on a nightly basis. There is a lot to be learned in this place. Your mind creates objective “reality” and the subjective experience of moving through that reality. Think of it as a different mode of cognition.

  • In other words, toxic employees lack judgment and flexibility, which is often required to customize solutions to situations. Therefore they rely on rules.
  • But here’s a more likely explanation. The rule-following was not based on solid data that they actually follow rules, but rather that they thought rules should be followed. That can translate to, “everyone should follow rules, except me.” That would be consistent with the findings that they are overly confident and narcissistic.
    • When confronting employees with this kind of problem, do not use the word attitude. They cannot hear it and will not agree with it. Instead describe dialogue you have overheard, and just talk about impact. Here are some examples.

       
         
      • “Did you notice the look on John’s face when you said that?”
      •  
      • “Even though Mary made a mistake, your comment did not contribute to a solution.”
      •  
      • “It is your job to share useful information.”
      •  
      • “Name calling (or eye rolling) will not be tolerated.”

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    • 10 Things We Can Do to Contribute to Internal, Interpersonal, and Organizational Peace

       
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      (1) Spend some time each day quietly reflecting on how we would like to relate to ourselves and others.

       

      (2) Remember that all human beings have the same needs.

       

      (3) Check our intention to see if we are as interested in others getting their needs met as our own.

       

      (4) When asking someone to do something, check first to see if we are making a request or a demand.

       

      (5) Instead of saying what we DON'T want someone to do, say what we DO want the person to do.

       

      (6) Instead of saying what we want someone to BE, say what action we'd like the person to take that we hope will help the person be that way.

       

      (7) Before agreeing or disagreeing with anyone's opinions, try to tune in to what the person is feeling and needing.

       

      (8) Instead of saying "No," say what need of ours prevents us from saying "Yes."

       

      (9) If we are feeling upset, think about what need of ours is not being met, and what we could do to meet it, instead of thinking about what's wrong with others or ourselves.

       

      (10) Instead of praising someone who did something we like, express our gratitude by telling the person what need of ours that action met.

  • NVC is a “language of life” that helps us to transform old patterns of defensiveness and aggressiveness into compassion and empathy and to improve the quality of all of our relationships.
    • Four Components

       
         
      1.   Observation: Observation without evaluation consists of noticing concrete things and actions around us. We learn to distinguish between judgment and what we sense in the present moment, and to simply observe what is there.
      2.  
      3.   Feeling: When we notice things around us, we inevitably experience varying emotions and physical sensations in each particular moment. Here, distinguishing feelings from thoughts is an essential step to the NVC process.
      4.  
      5.   Needs: All individuals have needs and values that sustain and enrich their lives. When those needs are met, we experience comfortable feelings, like happiness or peacefulness, and when they are not, we experience uncomfortable feelings, like frustration. Understanding that we, as well as those around us, have these needs is perhaps the most important step in learning to practice NVC and to live empathically.
      6.  
      7.   Request: To make clear and present requests is crucial to NVC’s transformative mission. When we learn to request concrete actions that can be carried out in the present moment, we begin to find ways to cooperatively and creatively ensure that everyone’s needs are met.
      8.  
       

        Two Parts

       
         
      1.   Empathy: Receiving from the heart creates a means to connect with others and share experiences in a truly life enriching way. Empathy goes beyond compassion, allowing us to put ourselves into another’s shoes to sense the same feelings and understand the same needs; in essence, being open and available to what is alive in others. It also gives us the means to remain present to and aware of our own needs and the needs of others even in extreme situations that are often difficult to handle.
      2.  
      3.   Honesty: Giving from the heart has its root in honesty. Honesty begins with truly understanding ourselves and our own needs, and being in tune with what is alive in us in the present moment. When we learn to give ourselves empathy, we can start to break down the barriers to communication that keep us from connecting with others.
  • The basic outline of the model is the following:

      When I see that______________
      I feel ______________
      because my need for ________________ is/is not met.
      Would you be willing to __________________?

  • However, that’s not how it has always been. Most hunting and gathering cultures did take the long-term view, like the Iroquois, who required that each decision be evaluated by asking “What impact will this have on the seventh generation from today?” One of the great gifts of anthropology has been to show how diverse human societies can be.
  • Transforming our cultures to fit our new reality is the core challenge of our times.

  • In its broad sense, mind includes thought, perception, emotion, will, memory and imagination, and encompasses subconscious levels as well as conscious. It includes everything that has to do with information or information processing from anywhere inside the body that can reach or affect our conscious awareness.

  • U.S. workers who email for work and who spend more hours working remotely outside of normal working hours are more likely to experience a substantial amount of stress on any given day than workers who do not exhibit these behaviors.
  • Daily Stress by Email Usage and Remote Working Habits

     

    Time spent working remotely outside of working hours aligns similarly, with 47% of those who report working remotely at least seven hours per week having a lot of stress the previous day compared with 37% experiencing stress who reported no remote work time.

  • But for Ruths, the benefits outweigh the risk of unusual effects. “If we exercise, we live longer, we’re slimmer, we’ve got less risk of dementia, we’re happier and less anxious,” he says. “People don’t talk about the fact that when you exercise, you are at a natural risk of injuring yourself. When people say in the new year, ‘I’m going to go to the gym’ – out of 100 people who do that, about 20 will injure themselves, because they haven’t been taught how to do it properly, or they’ve not listened to their bodies. So when you’re a responsible clinician or GP, you tell someone to get a good trainer.”
  • As both Claire and I have found, there are alternative relaxation methods that can keep you grounded: reading, carving out more time to spend with friends, and simply knowing when to take a break from the frenetic pace of life. Meanwhile, Claire’s experience has encouraged her to push for a better understanding of alternative therapies. “No one would suggest CBT was done by someone who wasn’t trained,” she says. “I’d like to see a wider discussion about what mindfulness is – and on what the side-effects can be.”

    • Thick & Chewy Better Than The Boxed Brownies
       
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      These thick & chewy brownies are so much better than the boxed mix!!! They're a quick and easy alternative that will have you coming back for more!
      Author:
      Yield: 12
      Ingredients
      • ½ c. all-purpose flour*
      • ¾ c. unsweetened cocoa powder
      • 1¼ c. sugar
      • 1 stick + 3 tbsp. (11 tbsp.) unsalted butter
      • 2 eggs, cold
      • ⅛ tsp. baking soda
      • 1 tbsp. cornstarch*
      • ¼ tsp. salt
      • 1 tsp. vanilla extract
      • ½ c. chocolate chips, milk or semi-sweet
      • ¼ c. semi-sweet baking bar*, chopped
      Directions
      1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Line a 8x8 inch pan with parchment or foil, set aside.
      2. In a microwave safe bowl, add the butter and sugar. Heat in the microwave on HIGH for about 1 minute and 15 seconds. Remove, stir, and cool on the counter for 5 minutes, then stir in the vanilla extract and cocoa powder.
      3. In the bowl of a stand mixer add the warm (but not hot) butter/sugar mixture. With mixing speed on low add one egg at a time, mixing just until incorporated.
      4. In a medium size mixing bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, cornstarch, and salt. With mixing speed on low, gradually add dry ingredients. Mix until no flour pockets remain. Remove bowl from stand and fold in the chocolate chips and chunks.
      5. Spread the brownie batter evenly into the prepared pan. Place in the oven and bake for 20-30 minutes or until the brownies are set. Remove from oven and allow to cool for 30-45 minutes before cutting and serving.
      Notes
      *I love using a Ghirardelli baking bar for the chopped chocolate.
      -This recipe can easily be doubled to fit a 9x13 inch pan. The bake time might increase by 3-5 minutes. It will make approximately 24 brownies. I used a metal pan for these brownies, not pyrex.
      *1/2 c. of cake flour can be substituted for the all-purpose flour and cornstarch.

  • Thinking is only effortful when we fear we will not arrive at the right answer; stress results not from events but from the views we take of events. When we mindlessly believe that something is about to happen and that it will be awful when it does, we experience stress. If we instead mindfully ask ourselves for novel reasons why the thing might not even happen and how it might actually be advantageous even if it did, stress falls away.
  • Mindfulness, as my colleagues and I study it, does not depend on meditation: it is the very simple process of noticing new things, which puts us in the present and makes us more sensitive to context and perspective. It is the essence of engagement.
  • the more they noticed, the more they liked it.

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  • RAZ: OK, so after six generations of chickens, Muir took his first flock of average, good old worker chickens and then he looked at the second flock of chickens - the super chickens flock. And he compared how many eggs each flock had laid.

    HEFFERNAN: And what he found at the end of the experiment pretty much amazed him and I think amazes most people who hear the story, which is the average flock was doing very well. They were all really plump, fully feathered, very healthy and, importantly, they were more productive than ever. And the other flock - the superflock - all but three were dead.

    RAZ: Wow.

    HEFFERNAN: The rest had pecked each other to death.

  • You must retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties AND AT THE SAME TIME you must confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.

    The key to this is addressing BOTH parts. I think most of us are natural optimists (or we would probably not be business owners,) and we believe that all things will work themselves out, BUT we CANNOT afford to over look problems and problem people who are in our hospitals.

  • Interestingly, pride is the most powerful of these emotions at triggering activity in these regions — except in the nucleus accumbens, where guilt and shame win out. This explains why it can be so appealing to heap guilt and shame on ourselves — they’re activating the brain’s reward center.
  • Yeah, gratitude is awesome… but does it really affect your brain at the biological level? Yup.

     

    You know what the antidepressant Wellbutrin does? Boosts the neurotransmitter dopamine. So does gratitude.

  • Know what Prozac does? Boosts the neurotransmitter serotonin. So does gratitude.

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  • As Nobel Prize winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman has said:

     

    Nothing in life is as important as you think it is while you are thinking about it.

  • Harvard happiness expert Daniel Gilbert shows that a wandering mind is not a happy mind:

     

    People spend 46.9 percent of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they’re doing, and this mind-wandering typically makes them unhappy… “Mind-wandering is an excellent predictor of people’s happiness,” Killingsworth says. “In fact, how often our minds leave the present and where they tend to go is a better predictor of our happiness than the activities in which we are engaged.”… Time-lag analyses conducted by the researchers suggested that their subjects’ mind-wandering was generally the cause, not the consequence, of their unhappiness.

  • I think one of the issues that we have is that we don’t necessarily recognize that a thought is just a thought. We have a certain thought, we take it to heart, we build a future on it, we think, “This is the only thing I’ll ever feel”, “I’m an angry person and I always will be”, “I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life”, and that process happens pretty quickly.

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  • As I hinted in a prior post, Trump isn’t just changing politics. He is changing our understanding of reality by brushing aside the illusion that humans use reason to make important decisions.
  • In other words, I see that Trump is bringing a flamethrower to a stick fight, but most of you only see a stick in his hand and a lot of random, rude behavior. I can tell you with certainty that none of it is random. 

    Prediction is easy once you see the flamethrower.

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