At this point, you should have a light colored layer of starter exposed, free of hooch and mold. Use a clean teaspoon to transfer some of the starter to a clean bowl. Reseal the jar of starter you are trying to revive and put it back into the refrigerator - sometimes the first attempt at revival doesn't work, and you'll need to go back to that starter.
Now add 1/4 cup of water and stir the starter very vigorously. Add 3/8 of a cup of unbleached, unbromated white flour and stir again. This is very important, even if you are a whole grain enthusiast. Whole grain flours have many organisms on them that would compete with the organisms in the starter you are trying to revive. We want to give your starter the best chance of reviving. Whole grains are great for starting a starter, but not for reviving one. Now, start the usual maintenance feedings. Twelve hours later, another 1/4 cup of water and 3/8 cup of flour. Every 12 hours after that, pitch half the starter and feed it another 1/4 cup of water and 3/8 cup of flour. While I appreciate thrift and frugality, I would actually discard the starter at this point. You don't know what critters are working in your starter, and until it is stable again I'd treat it with caution.
Once a starter is reliable, the next question is how to maintain it. The three rules apply here. Almost all the questions I get about starter failures can be traced to a failure to follow the three guidelines. In case you missed the other pages they are on, here they are again:
an active sourdough starter. One that can, and recently has, doubled it's size after a feeding. If you watch a starter after it is fed, for a while it just sits there, like someone after a big meal. It's a lag phase.
After that, it begins to rise as the critters produce gas which is trapped by the dough. Sometimes I compare a starter to a sponge. If you dip a sponge in water and pull it out, it will leak water. It's porous. Sourdough starter, and bread dough, are held up by trapped gas, but just as a sponge leaks water, dough leaks gas. After a bit more time the gas being produced by the starter and the gas leaking out of the starter are at an equilibrium. How long it takes to get there depends on your starter, the temperature of the starter and where it's rising, the density of the sponge, the strength of the flour and a lot of other variables. Still, sooner or later, it will reach a peak.
As the starter runs out of food, the gas production declines, and the starter begins to fall again as the starter leaks more gas than is being produced. As the starter is beginning to fall, you may see little cracks, like ravines, form on the surface of the starter.
I like to use the starter somewhere in the time period where it has reached its peak through the time it is just starting to fall. It's active then.