SocialStream !'s List: Science and Tech Fun, Humor, Weird News etc

• Well, almost.  Except for the Rocket part.  I ran CloudAve through Typealyzer, a service that analyzes written text and guesses which Myer-Briggs Personality Type the author represents. We’re deemed to be scientists:

• If Gods were Software Engineers | Software Roles for Heaven | Indian Mythological Gods as Software Engineeers
• Brahma >>>>>>>>>> Systems Installation
  
  Vishnu >>>>>>>>>> Systems Administration & Support
  
  Lakshmi >>>>>>>>>> Finance and Accounts consultant
  
  Saraswati >>>>>>>>>> Training and Knowledge Management
  
  Shiva >>>>>>>>>> DBA (Crash Specialist)
  
  Ganesh >>>>>>>>>> Quality Assuarance & Documentation
  
  Narada >>>>>>>>>> Data transfer
  
  Yama >>>>>>>>>> Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant
  
  Chitragupta >>>>>>>> IDP & Personal Records
  
  Apsaras >>>>>>>>>> Downloadable Viruses
  
  Devas >>>>>>>>>> Mainframe Programmers
  
  Surya >>>>>>>>>> Solaris Administrator
  
  Rakshasas >>>>>>>>>> In house Hackers
  
  Ravan >>>>>>>>>> Internet Explorer WWWF
  
  Lakshman >>>>>>>>>> Support Software and Backup
  
  Hanuman >>>>>>>>>> Linux/s390
  
  Jatayu >>>>>>>>>> Firewall
  
  Dronacharya >>>>>>> System Programmer
  
  Vishwamitra >>>>>>> Sr. Manager Projects
  
  Valmiki >>>>>>>>>> Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)
  
  Krishna >>>>>>>>>> SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle )
  
  Arjun >>>>>>>>>> Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him)
  
  Abhimanyu >>>>>>>>> Trainee Programmer
  
  Draupadi >>>>>>>>> Motivation & Team building
  
  Bhima >>>>>>>>> MAINFRAME LEGACY SYSTEM
  
  Duryodhana >>>>>>>>> Microsoft product Written in VB
  
  Karna >>>>>>>>> Contract programmer
  
  Dhrutarashtra >>>>>> Visual C++
  
  Gandhari >>>>>>>>> Dreamweaver
  
  100 Kauravas >>>>>> Microsoft Service Packs and patches

• Boyfriend 5.0 vs Husband 1.0 

   

    February 5th, 2009 (Posted bY maverick) 

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  I showed this to my wife and she said it is pretty accurate.  Ladies, what do you think?

   

  Dear Tech Support,

   

  Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

   

  In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0 and PremierLeague 7.2. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

   

  Signed:

   

  Desperate Wife

   

  (keep reading)

   

  - - - - -Reply Separator- - - - -

   

  Dear Desperate Wife,

   

  Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

   

  Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause damage, with Husband 1.0 defaulting to GrumpySilence 2.5, Happyhour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create “Snoring Loudly” wave files.

   

  Be especially cautious about the HotChik virus – it’s programmed to corrupt Husband 1.0 utterly (as well as all future Husband upgrades).

   

  DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

   

  In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

   

  Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Keep-a-nice-body 10.1.

   

  Good Luck,

   

  Tech Support

• Most computer users understand that you need an operating system to use a computer practically, even if it is not clear why. But many users don't.
• • Tech Support: "May I ask what operating system you are running today?"
   
  • Customer: "A computer."

• One time I had to walk a Windows 95 user through a particular procedure.

    
   
  • Me: "First you need to open DOS-prompt. I'll guide you--"
   
  • Customer: "MY COMPUTER DOES NOT HAVE DOS! YOU THINK I RUN THAT ANCIENT SOFTWARE?" (click)
• • Friend: "I heard about this thing called 'Linux'."
   
  • Me: "Oh, I use Linux."
   
  • Friend: "What is it?"
   
  • Me: "An operating system."
   
  • Friend: "Like Firefox?"
• Friend: "Does Windows 98 support Linux?"
• Customer: "Do you sell Mac OS X for Windows?"

  • Thats Classic :)) :))
  Add Sticky Note

• Overheard in a classroom:

    
   
  • Student: "How much do Windows cost, and do you have to buy each one separately?

  • ROFLMAO LOL
  Add Sticky Note
• • Customer: "How much do Windows cost?"
   
  • Tech Support: "Windows costs about $100."
   
  • Customer: "Oh, that's kind of expensive. Can I buy just one window?"
• Customer: (angrily) "You said I would get 98 windows with this computer. Where are they?"
• • Tech Support: "What version of Windows do you have installed?"
   
  • Customer: "... Double glazed."

• One day I got a call toward the end of the day from a sales rep in Chicago who couldn't get his computer to boot up. We went round and round for about two hours -- nothing worked. I was ready to pull my hair out, but I don't like losing. To lighten the tension of the moment, I started chitchatting with him as we're waiting to see if the machine will restart. He has an IBM ThinkPad, and I told him how much I like mine.

    
   
  • Him: "Yeah, they're ok, but I travel a lot, and I got tired of the darn thing being so heavy, so I installed Windows CE to make it lighter."

• Overheard in a software shop:

    
   
  • Woman #1: "What this Linux thing?"
   
  • Woman #2: "It's a program that if you have it on your computer, you can't turn the computer off."
   
  • Woman #1: "Oh."

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