“ - NO.” Flustered, Rimmer’s hands frantically batted away the word before it could even be spoken, though his eyes radiated a different sentiment. “We're not using that word. Because it isn’t! It certainly isn't – ” His eyes dropped in embarrassment to search Lister's jacket, as if the correct term were secretly stitched somewhere into the leather. “ - that.”
Following Space Corps Directive 598, Rimmer records his observations of the trio's five days in quarantine...
...and, it seems, his descent into madness.
In space, no one can hear you scream. Unless you're on Starbug. [Violence Against Toasters]
“It used to happen on JMC vessels all the time,” Rimmer explained, “especially before they let women enlist. You're surrounded by the endless, yawning void of space, trapped in a floating metal tomb with only your fellow crewmen for company, light years between you and the touch of a consenting woman... and suddenly, sausage starts to seem a lot more appetizing.”
Rimmer’s astronavs are tomorrow morning, and as usual, he’s in a bit of a crisis. Hoping to improve his abilities, he tries to infect himself with the luck virus, but takes a megadose of confidence instead.
Rimmer and Lister are stuck for months in the terrifying alternate world where men and women's gender roles are reversed.
Lister and Cat find a fun way to pass an afternoon. [It involves pretty dresses.]
Lister's all for the body swap... as long as Rimmer doesn't freak out when he finds out exactly what Lister's got in his trousers. Or, to be more precise, what Lister hasn't got in his trousers.
Rimmer gets what he's always wanted. But it's Rimmer, so of course it isn't that simple.
The Transient Beings were very thorough. There simply isn't any way out. But a little thing like that isn't going to bother Ace Rimmer.
Fic in which I slip in *all the Red Dwarf episode titles into the narrative or dialogue. Spot them all? Plot also happens in the shape of a mysterious portaly thing and what the Dwarfers find on the other side...
(Series 8) Rimmer misses the ‘old’ Lister, but doesn’t know why; and Lister must use all his skills to rebuild a relationship with the new Rimmer he never had with the old Rimmer …
Cloister the Stupid has been a little late about filing his paperwork.
Before Rimmer's bitterness is returned, Lister has a talk with Ace that reveals more than he meant to.
It’s the end of term. Little Rimmer has got his school report card to deliver to his father and it doesn’t look good.
Rimmer is at the end of his tether... in more ways than one.
While being pursued by Lister's GELF bride, the crew end up in the 24th century. In order to get the Kinitawowi off his back, Lister comes up with a plan - he needs to get married in the past to invalidate his GELF marriage. Unfortunately, the only candidate for the wedding is Rimmer.
A mining ship stranded in Deep Space is no place to raise kids. But Lister has strategies for making the best of it.
Set just after the events of 'Fathers and Suns', Lister's father leaves him a new message. Sometimes it takes a father's insight to help you see things clearly.
He wasn't quite sure how it had got to this, but here he was, standing on a beach somewhere on Pen Haxico 2, conducting a wedding ceremony for two forms of artificial intelligence that didn't even seem to like each other.