I’ve often felt the same at funeral Masses. I’ve known the anguish of loss and the tears of impotence. I’ve raged against death in the solitude of my mind: Why? Why? Why? I’ve brokered compromises: Nobody lives forever; She’s in a better place. I’ve felt the bittersweet presence of the dead in the caverns of my memory, as well as the numbing vacuum of their absence in everyday life. Death brings many emotions that cannot be mastered, which is why it bewitches and controls so much of our lives. And yet, after the eulogies are over, the priest prepares and consecrates the bread and the wine. When the wafer hits my tongue, I feel as though the Church has put a stick in the eye of death.