Call Me What You Want's List: Transformation

• When it comes to sex, we're not so different from our four-legged (or six legged or no-legged) friends, according to Doctor David Givens, an anthropologist and author of Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship. In a recent article, he sheds light on some new pick up tricks taken straight from a few wild creatures who mate for life!

• Send Scent-ual Signals
  For many animals, courtship stinks - literally! You've known that dogs and cats mark their territory in ways many humans see as unhygienic, but for the North American bull moose, urination is an actual mating call. Likewise, a single molecule of the female gypsy moth's odor can be detected by a male seven miles away!

   

  Now is the fine doctor suggesting that you relieve yourself at the doorstep of your object d'amor? Of course not. Nor is he saying you should load up on the perfume or cologne. In fact, Givens says there are more subtle and effective ways to use scent to your romantic advantage. He suggests men actually not wear cologne when they meet a woman because the scent may be deemed too strong. Women, however, he says, can manipulate how dates see them with scent. A spicy floral perfume may make them appear more slender.

• Strut Your Stuff
  For this example, Givens mentions the "zig-zag dance" mating ritual of the three-spin stickleback fish. Faced with a female he finds attractive, the male swims back and forth across her field of view, giving the female stickleback time to check him out from head to tailfin and removing any intimidation factor that a straight on approach might create.

   

  Givens says humans can copy the stickleback's technique in the form of a pass-by. If someone sweet (or not so sweet!) registers on your radar, make it a point to be seen. Don't approach, but walk by "with proper nonchalance." The animal expert says you'll want to be sure to establish eye contact and then gauge your perspective partner's response to your proximity. A head nod, smile or eye-brow flash of recognition indicates you may want to go in for the kill, um, or, pick up.

• Be a Copy Cat
  Givens says that when North American whooping cranes get down and dirty, they use a principal called isopraxism to establish rapport. Basically, they mimic each other. The male faces the female, flaps his arms, and bobs his head. If equally smitten, the female does the same - in syncopated rhythm. As he bows, she rises, and as he rises, she bows, and so on until they're ready to get it on.

   

  So bobbing your head isn't gonna get your juices flowing? Don't worry. Givens isn't suggesting synchronized swimming (or any literal interpretation for that matter). Though he does say that isopraxims works wonders for the homo sapien species. All living things find similarities reassuring. So, for instance, if you cross your legs, lean back in your chair, or sip your drink as your date does, you're illustrating that you're on their wavelength, opening the door for a romantic connection.

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• I will admit that I admire skeptics. I look up to guys like Robert Shiller, who first pointed out the tech bubble, then for an encore pointed out the real estate bubble. Despite all of the pundits who talked about structural changes in the economy, how things are different, Dow 36000, stocks as less risky investments, etc, Shiller held his ground. From my perspective though, it doesn't seem like anyone decided to start listening to him after 2000. Warren Buffett was the same way - lambasted in the late 1990s as too old school, even though he turned out to be right. He's simultaneously worshiped as one of the world's greatest investors, and despised for being a value, buy and hold kind of guy in an age when quants rule wall street. It's sort of paradoxical.
• It has just been my experience that when I get to the core of any idea, person, company, or organization, I almost always find that it has been overhyped. As a result, skepticism is my natural starting position.

• In the early days of the web, I was always the guy responding to chain emails with links to Snopes or Urban Legends. And now, with this blog, I've been critical of "wisdom of crowds," of Google's strategy and stock price, the book "Good to Great," and lots of other things people on the web seem to love. Sometimes I turn out to be right, and intellectually it always feels good, but it's always a pretty lonely vindication. The next time I turn negative on something, no one says "better listen to Rob…"

   

  You see, people really prefer positive people. People need hope, and that is why it sucks to poke holes in the stuff they believe. Our delusions are very dear to us. We want to believe that there is at least the small possibility that Bill Gates really will send us $1000 for every person we forward an email to, and we don't like it when someone tells us it isn't true.
• So I find myself in a perpetually uncomfortable position. I feel compelled by the virtue of intellectual honesty to say what I think, even if I disagree, yet I know that people don't want to hear disagreement. And, I know that if I turn out to be right (obviously, I'm not always right, but I do have a very good batting average), it will probably cause bitterness more than anything else. So what's a businesspundit to do? That's why I prefer to keep to myself as much as possible. The less time I spend around people, the less they ask me what I think.
• The point of it all, I guess, is that sometimes I just wish I could turn off the skepticism. But on the flip side, I feel like I've avoided many of the problems that I've seen others experience because I am skeptical. As a result, I have this simultaneous pride and disgust for my skeptical leanings. It's weird. What I really want is just to do something day to day where that aspect of my personality can come through and be an asset. I just don't what that is.
• Skeptics who go against the popular theories and are right belong in financial markets. Go work for a hedge fund. Be a trader. If skepticism is that much of you, the entrepreneurial route may not be enough to satisfy.
• Your skepticism is probably best characterized as “critical thinking” in other circles, a unique and immutable skill that has and will continue to bring you success. Keep it up.
• I think that you miss the point with your comment that “people like positive people.” While that may be true; it’s tangential. The important point is that nothing happens if people always say no. It’s the person who says yes who gets things done; and generally they are saying yes in the face of nay-sayers.
• I further assert that the final score in life is not how many times someone was “correct” but rather how much they accomplished. In the end, it’s not about being “right”. It’s about making things happen. I’d rather be right on a “yes, lets do it” 1 time out of 10 than right on a “no, lets not do it” 9 of 10 times.

• Now that’s not to say that every idea is a good idea or that there is not a place for healthy skepticism. But it is to say that a skeptical mindset can really get in the way of accomplishing things.

   

  As a final comment, my personal advice to everyone is to know your bent and then “go for the no.” That is, if you are naturally a “no” person, you should consciously spend time looking for the “yes” reasons. If you are naturally a “yes” person, spend time looking for the “no.”
• The tough thing is while no is usually the right answer, it is the question that is usually wrong. One has to search for the correct question which can be answered affirmatively. Entrepreneurs often end up stumbling over it when they pursue their misguided objectives, which is why yes can be correct even when it is wrong.

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• You can have brilliant ideas; but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere.
• the story of rock star Bono's visit to then-Senator Jesse Helms' Capitol Hill office to enlist his help in the global war against AIDS.
• Bono had all the facts and figures at his fingertips, and launched into a detailed appeal based on this data. He was, in essence, speaking to Helms the same way he had recently spoken to executives and technical experts at the many foundations and corporations he had approached about this issue. But within a few minutes, Bono sensed that he was losing Helms' attention, and he instinctively changed his pitch. Knowing that Helms was a deeply religious man (and drawing on his own born-again Christian values), Bono began speaking of Jesus Christ's concern for the sick and poor. He argued that AIDS should be considered the 21^st century equivalent of leprosy, an affliction cited in many Bible stories of the New Testament. Helms immediately sat up and began listening, and before the meeting was over had promised to be the Senate champion for Bono's cause. 
• "woo": It's the ability to "win others over" to your ideas without coercion, using relationship-based, emotionally intelligent persuasion.
• "Here you have a rock star with tinted glasses and an elderly, conservative Southern senator. But when Bono had the good sense to switch from public policy talk about debt relief -- what we call in our book the 'rationality' channel -- to religious talk about poverty and disease -- what we call the 'vision' channel -- he touched Helms' heart. He sold his idea and, in the process, created trust."
• The word "woo," the authors note, has many meanings, but all of them relate to focusing on the person you are trying to persuade more than on your own needs and fears. "There is the obvious meaning related to courtship and romance," says Shell, "but there is also the more general idea of wooing people to seek their support. In addition, Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton have recently used the word 'woo' in their books to describe the ability to easily establish rapport with many different people." However "woo" may be defined, the authors argue that effectively selling ideas -- using persuasion rather than force -- is one of the most important skills that everyone from CEOs and entrepreneurs to team leaders and mid-level managers need to learn if they want to be effective in their organizations.
• The Art of Woo presents a simple, four-step approach to the idea-selling process.
• First, persuaders need to polish their ideas and survey the social networks that will lead them to decision makers. To illustrate this step, Shell and Moussa recount how an unknown mail pilot named Charles Lindbergh turned his dream of being the first person to fly nonstop across the Atlantic into a reality. His idea was radical: He would make the crossing in a single-engine plane flying without a co-pilot or even a life raft. The idea was followed by his campaign to overcome people's disbelief that such a venture could ever work and to win over supporters in his hometown of St. Louis. Lindbergh started with contacts at the local airport who could see why his plan made sense and eventually worked his way up to the most influential businessmen in the city, using each person along the way to leverage an interview with the next.
• The second stage of the Woo process is confronting what Shell and Moussa call "the five barriers" -- the five most common obstacles that can sink ideas before they get started. These include unreceptive beliefs, conflicting interests, negative relationships, a lack of credibility and failing to adjust one's communication mode to suit a particular audience or situation.
• For example, when Napoleon was a young officer at the siege of Toulon, he set up an artillery battery in such a dangerous location that his superiors thought he would never get troops to man it. They would have been right had Napoleon relied on the conventional "authority channel" and issued threats and orders to get his way. Instead, he demonstrated his social intelligence by switching to the visionary channel and creating a large placard that was placed next to the cannons. It read: "The Battery of the Men without Fear." The position was manned night and day.
• Similarly, when Nelson Mandela was incarcerated on the notorious Robben Island in South Africa, he managed to obtain blankets and other necessities for his fellow prisoners by foregoing the expected high-minded appeals to politics and human rights. He worked instead on the relationship persuasion channel. By learning the guards' Afrikaans language and reading their literature, Mandela earned their respect and won them over to his idea of fair treatment -- even as he continued to face hostility from the officials who ran the prison.
• The third stage is to pitch your idea in a compelling way. Shell and Moussa note that at Google, employees selling ideas to upper management are given a challenge: to distill their business concepts into short, punchy presentations that get right to the essence of what they are proposing. This discipline forces them to figure out exactly what problem their idea addresses, how their idea will solve it and why their idea is better than both the status quo and available alternatives. The authors offer a template for pitching ideas in this format and give examples of distinct ways one can personalize an idea to make it memorable and distinctive.

• The final stage of Woo is to secure both individual and organizational commitments. "One of the most common mistakes people make in selling ideas," says Shell, "is to think that their job is finished once they succeed in getting someone to say 'yes' to their proposal. That's only the beginning. Research shows that in most organizations, a minimum of eight people will need to sign off on even simple ideas. The number goes up from there. So after you move the individual, you also have to move the organization."

   

  Shell and Moussa use a number of cases from business history to illustrate this point. For example, they tell the story of Charles F. Kettering, a brilliant inventor and engineer from the 1930s whom many consider an equal of Thomas Edison. Kettering invented such things as the automatic transmission and safety plate glass, but one of his best ideas -- the air-cooled automobile engine -- sat on the shelf for decades until the Volkswagen Beetle incorporated it. Kettering convinced Alfred Sloan, GM's top executive, that producing the air-cooled engine was a good idea, and the company's executive committee gave the go-ahead to make a limited number of cars with the prototype. But instead of following the idea through, Kettering went back to his lab to concentrate on the technical aspects of the project. The committee handed the production assignment to the Chevrolet division, whose top managers had never been brought into the persuasion process. They let the idea languish and it was eventually abandoned. "Kettering made a fundamental mistake: He didn't follow up and keep the pressure on," Shell notes. "He didn't do the political coalition-building needed to implement his idea."

• Andy Grove's 'Constructive Confrontation'

   

  Individual personality plays a key role in how you influence others, Shell adds. The book therefore includes two personalized "diagnostic" tests that readers can take to discover their persuasion strengths and weaknesses. One of the diagnostics is the "Six Channels Survey," which is designed to help people learn which of the key channels of influence they feel compelled to use most often at work and which they would prefer to use if given a choice. These channels include Authority, Rationality, Vision, Relationships, Interests and Politics. The idea is to help readers understand both how these six channels work and when they should adjust their pitch -- as Bono did with Senator Helms and Mandela did on Robben Island -- to appeal to different kinds of audiences.

• A second self-administered test, the Persuasion Styles Assessment, helps readers determine the degrees of assertiveness and natural social intelligence they bring to the idea-selling process. The authors point out that there is no one "correct" style of persuasion; rather, the key is being self-aware so you know how you perform and how others will perceive you.

   

  For example, Shell and Moussa illustrate the "Driver" style (a highly assertive type who gives only limited attention to the social environment) by examining how Intel CEO Andy Grove managed the persuasion process at Intel during his years as that company's leader. Labeled the "screamer," Grove could be intimidating to people who didn't know him well. But he was also willing to listen if people stood up to him and matched his passion. To facilitate communication, Grove instituted what he called a culture of "constructive confrontation" that freed everyone to be as blunt and assertive as he was. The result was a high-stress environment, but one in which everyone could speak their minds.
• The Art of Woo goes on to describe four other distinctive styles with examples drawn from business history. Banker J. P. Morgan is given as the model for the Commander (a Grove-like person who has a quieter demeanor), John D. Rockefeller exemplifies the Chess Player (a quieter person who attends strategically to the social environment), Andrew Carnegie's life provides the example for the Promoter style (a gregarious type who uses high levels of social intelligence), and Sam Walton is the model for the style that strikes the balance among all the others -- the Advocate.
• "Whenever a new idea might affect resources, power, control or turf," Shell says, "politics will be part of the problem at the implementation stage. You need to prepare an idea-selling campaign, not just a presentation."
• True yes- and frighteningly so. It illustrates why political personalities- whom we instinctively loathe because of their chameleon-like and Machavellian instincts- rule over us. 
   
  The ability to speak the other man's language, empathize with his prejudices, wear his skin and tell him what he wants to hear- these are what wins elections. It's also what guarantees success in corporate environments. The result is, too many skilled political animals make it to the top, while those that can get things done suffer for the sin of not being sufficiently oleaginous. 
   
  Many people cannot violate their personal integrity to the degree needed to persuade others. If you think Christianity is hogwash, how would you persuade Helms using Bono's approach - without being an utter hypocrite? If you think a new product will boost the bottom line, why should you have to deploy the skills of a snake oil salesman or back room horse-trader to get it approved? 
   
  Things won't change. Corporate politicians will become leaders, while the execution wonks will remain their subordinates. But I can't help feeling that the organization that is better at looking at the underlying idea - rather than the way it is packaged and sold- will always have some sort of competitive advantage.
• For the first time someone has taken the care to study the bewildering array of successful styles that all of us encounter throughout our work-lives. Typically, and simplistically, we tend to dismiss them as "politics", "sweet talk" or worse. This framework is well thought out and looks like a good place to get started.

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