Call Me What You Want's List: Flow

• 1. How was your day?
  The kicker with this one is you really have to care and you really have to listen. But by doing something as simple as inquiring about your significant other's day, you're illustrating that you want to be a part of it. Why this is even worth mentioning? Because men often forget that for a woman, sharing is hugely important. If Oprah's twenty years of success haven't taught you that, then you'd better tune into a few episodes. That, or take it from me! Ask your lady how her day went, listen to what she says attentively and remember a few details for the next time she fills you in and you'll give yourself a leg up in the land of love.
• 2. You look gorgeous!
  Note that hot, sexy and gorgeous are not the same as cute or pretty. Feel free to substitute any other word you think is appropriate but the key here is to let your woman know you find her sexually attractive. Every girl wants to feel sexy - especially to the guy she's with. In fact, on most days it doesn't matter to most of us if no one else notices us - as long as our guy does! Now should you be uttering this constantly - probably not. Over usage of anything will render it meaningless. But if you love the way your lady looks when she wakes up in the morning and stretches, tell her. If she looks hot to you when she comes home from work a little wrinkled, tell her. If you're sitting across from her at dinner and her glammed up hair and shiny lips do it for you, for goodness' sake, let her know! Whatever does it for you will make her feel good - and encourage her to appeal to you more often!
• 3. What do you think about (blank)?
  Okay, so after your woman knows you care about her and you want her, she wants to know you think she's smart and respect her opinion. What better way to show her than by asking for her opinion and/or her input. Whether it's the car you're considering buying, the latest news on CNN, a book you heard was good or a shirt you're going to put on, let her know her thoughts matter to you. Asking will go along way - particularly if you listen to her reply!
• Now of course, there are zillions of other things you can say to stay in your lady's good graces. But consider this: as long as a woman knows you love her, respect her and desire her, you're going to be on solid ground. Remember that and you'll understand why these three phrases are a good place to start the next time you're wondering what she wants to hear.

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• Recognize and surrender
  So many of us are impatient because we're spoiled, writes Life Coach Neil Fiore in his book Awaken Your Strongest Self: Break Free of Stress, Inner Conflict, and Self-Sabotage. We become rash and annoyed because we want things our way and right away; we often hurry in a bid to control our lives, or the outcomes of our actions. But by doing this we limit our identity to a small, insecure, anxious part of ourselves.

   

   

  Staying stuck in this small, limited part means that we have failed to expand our sense of self. We can tap into a larger wiser self that can plan, soothe, and choose what to do in any given situation, says Fiore.

   

   

  "To cultivate patience we must learn to accept the limits of our control -- doing what we can but allowing the world to respond," says Fiore. In other words we have to surrender and realize that we don't have power over everything. And that's okay.
• Listen
  Before putting yourself forward, be sure you understand your circumstances. Listen to what others have to say. And listen to your higher self. Don't be so quick to react. Respond instead. Patience involves holding back a hasty reply to someone and accepting the differences in others. Use internal strength to calm yourself rather than let something or someone get the better of you. Really, what's the point? If you look at the bigger picture, the situation is probably not worth your salt.
• Breathe
  Be aware of your emotions. When you find yourself becoming impatient, angry, or irritable, take a deep breath and let it out slowly. In. Out. Breathe deep into your belly. Nice and easy. If you've already flown off the handle, you'll probably need several deep breathes. Try breathing in for three seconds, holding it in for five and then letting it out for seven breaths. Tell yourself to relax. Scan your body for tension and invite it to release.
• Gentle simplicity
  Keep life simple. Don't over-schedule. Give yourself room. Give people the benefit of the doubt and you can avoid complications in relationships.
• Some think patience is about grinning and bearing it. Wrong. It's about chewing and smelling it. In other words, turning a negative into a positive.
• Patience is not procrastination. It is releasing action only when the correct moment has arrived.

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• What meditation is is a tricky thing to define. It is usually based on concentrating upon something, from something as basic as your breath to something as grand as God. It is not something mystical - although it is used by mystics. It is not a form of relaxation - although it will help you relax. It is not some psychological tool - although you will get insights into the workings of your mind. To be honest, it's easier to say what it is not than to say what it is. When it is going well, it produces a calm, clear and introspective state and a sense of well being. Of course to see what it is like, you'll have to do it yourself.
• I am a Buddhist, and so this guide will be biased towards Buddhist meditation techniques, but if you're not a Buddhist this doesn't matter. There's nothing particularly religious about any of them I'll list here.
• What you will need: 
   
  • A mind.
   
  • A body.
   
  • Somewhere quiet, your bedroom, say.
   
  • About 20 minutes - but ideally, after some months, an hour.
   
  • A cushion or a chair - basically something to sit on.
   
  • Patience.
   
  • A clock or watch
• Most people meditate either first thing in the morning or last thing at night - try both, and find the best for you.
• Good posture is the important point. What you sit on not that important  - either a chair or a cushion can be used. The lotus position is what most people think meditators use - but  this is not the case. Unless you are really flexible and can do it easily, you'll hurt yourself, and that's the  last thing you want. Half lotus is much easier, but the two best ways for beginners to sit on the floor is to  sit either a) cross-legged or b) sit on a cushion, or stack of cushions that is between your ankles. Avoid any kind of strain on your hips, ankles or knees. You have to look after these well! When doing this, tight trousers  can restrict the flow of blood in the legs, and you don't want to get pins and needles. If you have bad knees or can't deal with sitting on the floor for 20 minutes, then use a chair - a cushion on the seat to tilt your hips forwards is useful.
• So, sit down on your cushion(s) or chair, and now you need to sort out your posture. The traditional approach  - and it's traditional because it works - it to have a straight back, slightly curved in at the small of the  back. Not slumped, and not exaggeratedly straight - just comfortably straight. (If you imagine a cord pulling the top of your head upwards, you will see how a comfortable position can be found between these two extremes of posture). The shoulders should be rolled back and relaxed, the nose in line with the navel, the earsin line with the shoulders and the face looking down slightly, as if looking a spot on the floor a few metres away.

• The hands should be placed on the lap, one on top of the other, palms up, with the thumb tips gently touching, making an O shape. This is called a dhyana mudra in Sanskrit, if you want to know. The hands should be an inch or two below the navel, and it helps to rest them on something such as the blanket I discussed, or a cushion or something similar. The elbows should be back a little, and naturally bent. Your mouth should be gently shut, with your tongue resting against the front two teeth. Relax your face and eyes. The can be open in a natural way, or they can be half open, pointed at the spot on the floor a few metres away.

    In short - the position you use for meditation should be alert and upright, and most of all comfortable.  
• A good way to start, and to be 'at home in your body' is to do a body scan. Start at your toes and imagine  you are 'painting them with awareness'. Give them a wiggle, and just be aware of them - the skin and the muscle  and the bones. Move your concentration slowly to your feet, and be aware of them. Then move to your ankles, your  lower legs, then to your knees, then to your thighs. Move your awareness to your hips and backside, and be aware  of the sensations of sitting. Then travel up the spine and lower back - also being aware of the belly. Be aware of the shoulders and the chest, and then move your concentration to your hands. Move your awareness slowly all the way from your finger tips to your shoulders. Once you've reached your neck, be aware of your head and scalp. Then your face - aware of your cheeks and eyes and mouth. This should relax you and once you've done it you  should feel aware of your body and feel like you're actually 'in it' - far more than before. This is not  required, but is easy to do and quite worthwhile. It should take about 5-10 minutes.
• Having sat in the meditation position, become aware of your breath. Do not attempt to control it, just watch it move in and out. With the mouth shut, so the air is moving through the nose just feel it, and be aware of  it's movement.
• You can either focus on the belly, near the navel, or on the nose. Either is fine, but you should not swap  them around. What you concentrate on is specifically the rising and falling of the belly or the sensations at the tip of the nose while you breath quietly.
• To help you concentrate on the breath, you should count the breath (silently). Count them to 10 and then  begin again from 1. If you loose count then start at 1 again.
• Getting rid of thoughts is not the point here, this is a very common misconception about what meditation is. Meditation is just paing attention to what's there, by cultivating a calm, clear concentration. The best thing to do is calmly avoid interfering with them when they arise. You can't push them away, so don't even try.
• Keep up your calm awareness of the breath at your chosen point (belly or nose) for 20 minutes - the most  common period people seem to use for meditation when begining. To keep track of time, use a clock or watch on the floor. Ideally, you should expand your practice to at least an hour a day. Build up to this slowly.
• How often do you need to do this? Daily, I'd say. The more frequent, the more effective. Every morning or evening would be great.

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• ►Posted by dan7000◄

    

  I’d go farther than that. I think that well-designed, usable software should not need a help file. If someone needs to look at the help file then they are experiencing a flaw in your design. (I know this is an impossibly high standard - but it’s an ideal that developers should shoot for.) 
  It sounds like GemX has been hearing the same questions over and over about how to use their software. When that happens, the last thing they should say is “look at the help file.” The fact that lots of people can’t figure out how to use the software should make them say:  
  “we know this is an issue with the software, and we are redesigning that feature to make it more obvious how to use it. Can you tell us exactly how you thought the feature would work?”

• ►Posted by Pierre Paul Landry◄

    

  For software which implement a known concept, I think this is possible. 
  But when something is really innovative, when it does not resemble some other well-known app, or when it is a cross between 2 or more apps, then, some form of documentation, start-up guide, etc. is essential. 
  So many of my users were baffled at first, and after talking, reading, thinking, one day they say: Aha! now I see the light. Everything becomes simple, clear, predictable… and powerful. But until that light gets turned on, because it is an unusual concept, users need help. 
  A worker requires training to use a new tool unless (1) the tool is very simple, or (2) he’s been trained on something very similar.

• ►Posted by quant◄

    

  simply impossible 
  Maybe, we, users, could just admit that we don’t know everything, and have a look at the help file what developer meant by something, and then if some doubt remain, ask in forum or contact developer. 
  I am sure that most of the answers to user questions that developers get from users can be found in the help files, but users are lazy ... it’s much easier to ask in forum or email developer and get the answer instead of wading though the help file. 
  The moral of this thread is, RTFM!!!

• ►Posted by dan7000◄

    

  Hey Pierre, 
  I’m not intending to criticize your software - I’m just voicing a philosophy I’ve had in my own software development efforts. Disclaimer: I was engineering manager for Quicken for 5 years. I also designed and developed some other fairly popular commercial software. I never met my own standard for intuitive usability but I always pushed my team to think of it this way: if you need to point to the help file, it’s a usability flaw. 
• Sure, it’s easier to achieve this goal with established software paradigms than with new or innovative ideas. But new ideas can also be intuitive for users. TiVo is of course the best example. The oldest, least-tech-savvy visitor to my house can operate our TiVo immediately, even if they’ve never seen a DVR before. Another brilliant example is the world wide web. I remember in 1994 or so - if you used Prodigy you were always looking at the help file. If you used compuserve you were always trying to get help in the forums. But anybody who lauched a web browser instantly knew what to do - there was no instruction needed, for the newest, most innovative technology idea in the history of computing. 
  The key to intuitive usability for new software paradigms is to adopt a metaphor to an established paradigm. For instance, when Quicken was a brand-new idea, it adopted the checkbook metaphor. The entire program looked and operated like a checkbook, and that was the key to its success. At the same time, other programs tried to force a database or spreadsheet approach to personal finance management, and they all failed miserably. Today, other software can provide the metaphor: if something has columns, we expect it to sort when we click on the column header; if something has an “OK” button, we expect our data to be saved; if it looks like excel, we expect to be able to edit cells in-place. Software designers can look at every aspect of our programs and ask: what is the metaphor for this? How can I make it intuitive and obvious?

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• 1. Stress
   Yes, I know they are your precious little status symbols, but
   if you want them to get to adulthood without becoming addicted to crack
   or being one of those people who go into hysterics because their carThere is no reason a kid over 8 shouldn’t be allowed to venture out via subway or public bus system, no reason why it shouldn’t be allowed to explore its neighborhood.
   has a flat tire, you need to get them used to stress early. They need
   to be thrown into situations where they have nobody to help them, to
  suffer the full consequences of their stupidity. Protecting your kids
   from the unpleasantness of life is like raising them in a sterile
   environment then expecting them to thrive in a sewer.
• 2. Truth, hard and cold
  Everybody dies, especially parents. Money is the most important thing in life, you can fuck women in the vagina, but also in the anus as well, the capacity for treachery and all forms of smiling deceit are the most important skills in the working world. Trust no one, not even me, do not hesitate to cause harm to anybody standing in your way. If you want your kid to grow up knowing anything about the way the world works and to be not merely functional, but successful in he world, you need to level with it.
• 3. Work
   Give them a job. They do not, and will never, appreciate the sacrifices you make to provide them with food and a place to sleep, so make money from their lazy asses. It won’t cover their cost, but it will help. If they can’t make you money, then they should at least be able to buy you some relaxation-time by doing your yard-work. They learn the most important thing about adulthood: that it consists of daily doing shit for other people when you can think of a million better things to do with your life. A kid of 10 should be able to do its own laundry and put together at least 4 basic meals from scratch.
• 4. Freedom
   Smothered kids grow up scared, ignorant, and usually turn into the kind of people that get laughed at behind their back. Give your kid a pocket knife, teach it to stab-and-run if approached overly creepy strangers, and let it spend it’s (non-working) spare-time as it pleases. There is no reason a kid over 8 shouldn’t be allowed to venture out via subway or public bus system, no reason why it shouldn’t be allowed to explore its neighborhood.
• 5. Discipline
   Fat, loudmouthed, lazy, whiny, kids are the direct fault of their parents. I am not saying that the kids aren’t responsible for staying that way, but getting that way was mommy and daddy’s doing. Every time your kid disgusts you just remember that you could have done something to keep it from being as bad as it is. Kids left without solid instruction become worthless adults, of value to no one except as prey.
• 6. An education in stubbornness
   You can either raise a quitter, or you can raise a kid who sticks to his guns no matter what. It’s pointless trying to find the balance between the two since you either have balls or you don’t. Pushovers are sometimes hard to push over, but their are still weak little bitches. Stubborn people simply do not ever give in. Keep in mind that this kid may be the one fighting for your life-support to be turned off or left on indefinitely one day.
• 7. Exposure/Variety
   Hicks aren’t only poor people from the country, sometimes they are rich kids in private school, sometimes they are ghetto kids who imagine themselves to be “street smart”. If you don’t want your kid to grow up thinking that Africa is a country, or not knowing that an impala is an animal as well as a vehicle, then continue to shelter them in your little community, your little circle of friends and their kids. Don’t travel with them, don’t force them to read. Keep them thinking that the world is as easy or predictable as TV makes it out to be.

• 8. Healthy food
  Sit in your local mall for about an hour on a Saturday afternoon and people-watch. You will see great number of young people, flaccid, greasy, flabby, spotty young people, many with shit-colored teeth. Kids who grow up pampered and catered to tend to be picky eaters and to like food that will make them look and feel like shit. They imagine themselves to have time, time to one day change their ways and get healthy, but they don’t, you don’t morph from being a lazy slacker just by getting older, it takes sacrifice, and the best time to learn to sacrifice is when young. Kids need to know that or they may will die before you, forcing you to buy caskets with your retirement money.

   
• 9. Indifference
   Kids need to know that they don’t matter in the big
   scheme of things unless they do something to make themselves matter.
   Too much involvement in their lives leads to them being dependent on
   you and helpless out in the real world. If they have any balls at all
   they will resent you for being overly attentive, but most often they
   will just take your attention for granted and get to adulthood thinking
   that they are interesting, important people. This is partly why people
   who grew up in the 90’s are such boring, self-important little fucks,
   somebody told them that they were precious and significant.
• 10. Alone-time
  One of the greatest lessons you can give to your offspring is the lesson on how to not need other people. If your kid can handle being on it’s own then it can handle pretty much every relationship mind-game that it’s future romantic partners will throw at it. It will learn to not be clingy, have no room for heartbreak, and most importantly, function without regard to what other people think.

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• You can have brilliant ideas; but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere.
• the story of rock star Bono's visit to then-Senator Jesse Helms' Capitol Hill office to enlist his help in the global war against AIDS.
• Bono had all the facts and figures at his fingertips, and launched into a detailed appeal based on this data. He was, in essence, speaking to Helms the same way he had recently spoken to executives and technical experts at the many foundations and corporations he had approached about this issue. But within a few minutes, Bono sensed that he was losing Helms' attention, and he instinctively changed his pitch. Knowing that Helms was a deeply religious man (and drawing on his own born-again Christian values), Bono began speaking of Jesus Christ's concern for the sick and poor. He argued that AIDS should be considered the 21^st century equivalent of leprosy, an affliction cited in many Bible stories of the New Testament. Helms immediately sat up and began listening, and before the meeting was over had promised to be the Senate champion for Bono's cause. 
• "woo": It's the ability to "win others over" to your ideas without coercion, using relationship-based, emotionally intelligent persuasion.
• "Here you have a rock star with tinted glasses and an elderly, conservative Southern senator. But when Bono had the good sense to switch from public policy talk about debt relief -- what we call in our book the 'rationality' channel -- to religious talk about poverty and disease -- what we call the 'vision' channel -- he touched Helms' heart. He sold his idea and, in the process, created trust."
• The word "woo," the authors note, has many meanings, but all of them relate to focusing on the person you are trying to persuade more than on your own needs and fears. "There is the obvious meaning related to courtship and romance," says Shell, "but there is also the more general idea of wooing people to seek their support. In addition, Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton have recently used the word 'woo' in their books to describe the ability to easily establish rapport with many different people." However "woo" may be defined, the authors argue that effectively selling ideas -- using persuasion rather than force -- is one of the most important skills that everyone from CEOs and entrepreneurs to team leaders and mid-level managers need to learn if they want to be effective in their organizations.
• The Art of Woo presents a simple, four-step approach to the idea-selling process.
• First, persuaders need to polish their ideas and survey the social networks that will lead them to decision makers. To illustrate this step, Shell and Moussa recount how an unknown mail pilot named Charles Lindbergh turned his dream of being the first person to fly nonstop across the Atlantic into a reality. His idea was radical: He would make the crossing in a single-engine plane flying without a co-pilot or even a life raft. The idea was followed by his campaign to overcome people's disbelief that such a venture could ever work and to win over supporters in his hometown of St. Louis. Lindbergh started with contacts at the local airport who could see why his plan made sense and eventually worked his way up to the most influential businessmen in the city, using each person along the way to leverage an interview with the next.
• The second stage of the Woo process is confronting what Shell and Moussa call "the five barriers" -- the five most common obstacles that can sink ideas before they get started. These include unreceptive beliefs, conflicting interests, negative relationships, a lack of credibility and failing to adjust one's communication mode to suit a particular audience or situation.
• For example, when Napoleon was a young officer at the siege of Toulon, he set up an artillery battery in such a dangerous location that his superiors thought he would never get troops to man it. They would have been right had Napoleon relied on the conventional "authority channel" and issued threats and orders to get his way. Instead, he demonstrated his social intelligence by switching to the visionary channel and creating a large placard that was placed next to the cannons. It read: "The Battery of the Men without Fear." The position was manned night and day.
• Similarly, when Nelson Mandela was incarcerated on the notorious Robben Island in South Africa, he managed to obtain blankets and other necessities for his fellow prisoners by foregoing the expected high-minded appeals to politics and human rights. He worked instead on the relationship persuasion channel. By learning the guards' Afrikaans language and reading their literature, Mandela earned their respect and won them over to his idea of fair treatment -- even as he continued to face hostility from the officials who ran the prison.
• The third stage is to pitch your idea in a compelling way. Shell and Moussa note that at Google, employees selling ideas to upper management are given a challenge: to distill their business concepts into short, punchy presentations that get right to the essence of what they are proposing. This discipline forces them to figure out exactly what problem their idea addresses, how their idea will solve it and why their idea is better than both the status quo and available alternatives. The authors offer a template for pitching ideas in this format and give examples of distinct ways one can personalize an idea to make it memorable and distinctive.

• The final stage of Woo is to secure both individual and organizational commitments. "One of the most common mistakes people make in selling ideas," says Shell, "is to think that their job is finished once they succeed in getting someone to say 'yes' to their proposal. That's only the beginning. Research shows that in most organizations, a minimum of eight people will need to sign off on even simple ideas. The number goes up from there. So after you move the individual, you also have to move the organization."

   

  Shell and Moussa use a number of cases from business history to illustrate this point. For example, they tell the story of Charles F. Kettering, a brilliant inventor and engineer from the 1930s whom many consider an equal of Thomas Edison. Kettering invented such things as the automatic transmission and safety plate glass, but one of his best ideas -- the air-cooled automobile engine -- sat on the shelf for decades until the Volkswagen Beetle incorporated it. Kettering convinced Alfred Sloan, GM's top executive, that producing the air-cooled engine was a good idea, and the company's executive committee gave the go-ahead to make a limited number of cars with the prototype. But instead of following the idea through, Kettering went back to his lab to concentrate on the technical aspects of the project. The committee handed the production assignment to the Chevrolet division, whose top managers had never been brought into the persuasion process. They let the idea languish and it was eventually abandoned. "Kettering made a fundamental mistake: He didn't follow up and keep the pressure on," Shell notes. "He didn't do the political coalition-building needed to implement his idea."

• Andy Grove's 'Constructive Confrontation'

   

  Individual personality plays a key role in how you influence others, Shell adds. The book therefore includes two personalized "diagnostic" tests that readers can take to discover their persuasion strengths and weaknesses. One of the diagnostics is the "Six Channels Survey," which is designed to help people learn which of the key channels of influence they feel compelled to use most often at work and which they would prefer to use if given a choice. These channels include Authority, Rationality, Vision, Relationships, Interests and Politics. The idea is to help readers understand both how these six channels work and when they should adjust their pitch -- as Bono did with Senator Helms and Mandela did on Robben Island -- to appeal to different kinds of audiences.

• A second self-administered test, the Persuasion Styles Assessment, helps readers determine the degrees of assertiveness and natural social intelligence they bring to the idea-selling process. The authors point out that there is no one "correct" style of persuasion; rather, the key is being self-aware so you know how you perform and how others will perceive you.

   

  For example, Shell and Moussa illustrate the "Driver" style (a highly assertive type who gives only limited attention to the social environment) by examining how Intel CEO Andy Grove managed the persuasion process at Intel during his years as that company's leader. Labeled the "screamer," Grove could be intimidating to people who didn't know him well. But he was also willing to listen if people stood up to him and matched his passion. To facilitate communication, Grove instituted what he called a culture of "constructive confrontation" that freed everyone to be as blunt and assertive as he was. The result was a high-stress environment, but one in which everyone could speak their minds.
• The Art of Woo goes on to describe four other distinctive styles with examples drawn from business history. Banker J. P. Morgan is given as the model for the Commander (a Grove-like person who has a quieter demeanor), John D. Rockefeller exemplifies the Chess Player (a quieter person who attends strategically to the social environment), Andrew Carnegie's life provides the example for the Promoter style (a gregarious type who uses high levels of social intelligence), and Sam Walton is the model for the style that strikes the balance among all the others -- the Advocate.
• "Whenever a new idea might affect resources, power, control or turf," Shell says, "politics will be part of the problem at the implementation stage. You need to prepare an idea-selling campaign, not just a presentation."
• True yes- and frighteningly so. It illustrates why political personalities- whom we instinctively loathe because of their chameleon-like and Machavellian instincts- rule over us. 
   
  The ability to speak the other man's language, empathize with his prejudices, wear his skin and tell him what he wants to hear- these are what wins elections. It's also what guarantees success in corporate environments. The result is, too many skilled political animals make it to the top, while those that can get things done suffer for the sin of not being sufficiently oleaginous. 
   
  Many people cannot violate their personal integrity to the degree needed to persuade others. If you think Christianity is hogwash, how would you persuade Helms using Bono's approach - without being an utter hypocrite? If you think a new product will boost the bottom line, why should you have to deploy the skills of a snake oil salesman or back room horse-trader to get it approved? 
   
  Things won't change. Corporate politicians will become leaders, while the execution wonks will remain their subordinates. But I can't help feeling that the organization that is better at looking at the underlying idea - rather than the way it is packaged and sold- will always have some sort of competitive advantage.
• For the first time someone has taken the care to study the bewildering array of successful styles that all of us encounter throughout our work-lives. Typically, and simplistically, we tend to dismiss them as "politics", "sweet talk" or worse. This framework is well thought out and looks like a good place to get started.

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• Isn't it interesting how many people dream of writing a book? It's sweet, and it's (mostly) harmless, and I guess I once semi-shared that dream, and I guess one or two brain cells still make room for the possibility that I will someday write a book (fat chance). But, but, but ... Then I followed the book-publishing industry for 15 years.

    

• Fact #1: Millions of people are working on books, or believe that they could write a book, or are planning to write a book.

    

• And I'll bet that for many of them a part of that fantasy is the making - a - living-as-a-freelancer -doing-something-interesting-rather- than-working-as-a- flunky-in-a-boring- job element. But how many people in the country actually manage to make a living writing books? A couple of hundred.

    

  Millions would like to do it. A couple of hundred actually manage it.
• In other words, your chances of making a living writing books are perhaps better than are your chances of ever playing in the NBA. But not all that much better.
• Technical pause here: there's an important-to-understand distinction that needs to be made between "book publishing" generally and "trade book publishing," which is what most of us think of when we think of book publishing -- ie., the biz that creates the books that fill up the local bookstore. Book publishing generally is a fairly substantial industry, and most of the money in the field -- 2/3, if I remember right -- doesn't come from "trade book" publishing. It's generated by the sales of products many of us almost never think of as books: medical reference books, atlases, textbooks. This end of the biz operates in the semi-rational way many businesses do, with similar profit margins and incentive structures. There's real money to be made here, other words. You can get rich writing and/or publishing textbooks, for instance, even if it's a very competitive industry.
• Fact #2: Most people who write "serious" trade nonfiction actually lose money on their projects.
• Biographies? Serious travel books? Moneylosers for most of their authors. How so? Well, say you're lucky and your agent nails a $100,000 contract for you for a biography you're dying to write. Sounds good, huh? But run the math: First, subtract the agent's fee (10-15%), and then subtract taxes. You've got to write the book on the, say, $55,000ish that remains. Keep in mind that almost all books take longer to write and publish than expected. But, heck, you're a fast worker -- it'll only take you 3 years. That means you'll be living on $17,000 a year. And wait: you've gotta do some research -- what's a biography without research? Visiting some archives, interviewing whoever's still alive ... Guess where the money for these travels and adventures comes from? Your own pocket.

• As a consequence of these sorts of realities, most serious-nonfiction writers either hold down fulltime day jobs (healthcare!) and do their writing during the evening and on weekends (whoops, there goes the private life!), or spend a lot of the time that they'd like to spend writing chasing down grants, fellowships, and stretches at writer's colonies instead. (This bunch is usually very worried about health care. See my posting on health care and the arts here.)

    

  Not long ago, I ran into a woman acquaintance I hadn't seen in years, during which time she'd written a first-class biography of a famous man. We bumped into each other shortly after her book had been released, and I assumed she was basking in the good reviews, and exultant about the way her publisher was promoting the book. "This must give you a great feeling, as well as a great platform into your next book, no?" I said.

    

  She rolled her eyes and told me emphatically that she was never going to write another book. "What I'm looking for now is a nice little not-too-demanding job with an office, regular hours, a health plan, and a regular paycheck," she said.
• Fact #3: The people in trade-book publishing who make the money generally aren't the authors.
• Fact #4: Writing a book isn't fun.

• So why do people do write books? I come up with these possible explanations:

  
   
  • Some hope to hit the jackpot despite the odds.
     
  • Some have a dream about being an author, or taking part in "literature."
     
  • Some are obsessed lunatics -- ie., they feel they just gotta.
     
  • Some don't know better (these usually never write a second book).
     
  • Some have other ambitions, and writing a book is a step along the way.
     
  • A handful are determined to be trade-book authors as a career, and know what the game consists of, and have (or think they have) the tenacity, toughness, talent, luck and energy to succeed.

• All of which leads me to a Blowhardish musing. It's such a pain to write books, it's such a bother to go through the publishing process -- what kind of person is willing to put him/herself through this? Answer: a very narrow demographic -- the obsessed and the ambitious. Exceptions allowed for (hi Hugo!), this would seem to mean that most of the books we've interacted with over the years have been written by people who are nuts. Let's grant that a few of these nutcases have talent and brains -- still: funny, no?

    

  And this is a big part of why I generally celebrate digital media -- because the new tools give people from the non-nuts range of humanity a better chance to contribute and take part in the conversation that is "culture." How many such "normal" voices have really been heard in this conversation before? But these days, if you write and publish a blog, for example, the publishing part of blogging is trivial, at least once you've set the blog up (or in the especially inept case of the Blowhards, paid a good webteam to do the hard stuff). You can say what you have to say, press a button -- and what you have to say flies right out there and becomes part of the ongoing culture-thing. Never before in the history of blah blah blah. Very cool, in any case, and I'm going to follow how this affects the tone of the culture-conversation with interest. Blogs have already had quite an impact on journalism. What kind of impact will they have on the cultural world? (Huge, I hope.)

• Over the years, a few people have asked me for advice about writing books -- fools! Still, I tell 'em what I really believe: Since you probably won't make money on your project anyway, why not do it in a way that minimizes your trouble and results in something that pleases you? How to do this? Publish your book yourself. (Self-publishing is a growing and happening thing.)

    

  But why turn your urge to create into "writing a book" in the first place? You say you've got a story to tell? Well, why does it have to be a book? You'll burden your life with a tedious project for a couple of years, you'll probably overstretch your material, and then no one will read the results. Why not realize your project in a manageable and pleasureable way instead? Put in a month of writing, keep it to a compact length, and post it to the Web. (There really aren't many stories that need more than 50 pages.) It's certainly true that no one may pay attention to your work despite its being out there on the Web. But at least you'll have told your story, enjoyed the process, made your work available -- and you won't have ruined your life, or broken your heart.

    

  No one listens to me, of course, and it's probably better that way. I confess that The Wife berates me (lovingly and charmingly, of course) when I go on like this. She says I'm being a killjoy. Lots of people dream of writing books. What a harmless dream -- why kill it? And she's certainly got a point. I, on the other hand, feel that my point isn't to crush anyone's dreams. Why not make this basic information available? But maybe The Wife is right. It's certainly true that, after 15 years of following the book publishing world, I do sometimes wish people would be a bit more realistic in their thinking and talking about books. But is that an awful wish? Where books and publishing are concerned, maybe it is, I don't really know for sure.

    

  Best,

    

  Michael
• UPDATE: Please be sure to read the comments thread on this posting, which is full of lively thinking and reacting. Aaron Haspel adds a lot to the conversation in his new posting on the subject here.

  • One should never write a book with the goal in mind of writing a book.
    
    The book is only a means to communicate heart-felt ideas. If you don’t really care about the ideas, hey! go ski and/or play golf.
    
    I speak from experience. I wrote a book; I didn’t really want to. But I didn’t think anyone else would do it. So I had to.

  • Will: I think what von Mises was getting at is that real artistic geniuses are always unsatisfied, though they may be fluent. That’s where the agony comes in. Writing is hell for me, and I’m no genius either.
  • 4 more sticky notes...

  • • Hmm. So, according to Ludwig von Mises, if I enjoy writing and it comes fairly easily, I must not be a genius. Gosh, and there I was, beginning to wonder.

    • The productivity of labor has become so high in this country that most anyone who has bothered to acquire some marketable skills and is not grimly devoted to his job is awash in leisure. Trollope, who produced 40-odd novels by arising at 4 AM daily and writing for two hours before his day job at the post office, would envy us. The Marxist fantasy of a people milking cows in the morning and practicing drama criticism at night has nearly come to pass, though not in the way that Marx intended. You want to make money and write in your spare time, be my guest. You want to make money writing, write romance novels or technical texts. You want to make money writing serious books about your cherished passions, go whine to someone else.

    • The activities of [artistic geniuses] cannot be fully subsumed under the praxeological concept of labor. They are not labor because they are for the genius not means, but ends in themselves. He lives in creating and inventing. For him there is not leisure, only intermissions of temporary sterility and frustration. His incentive is not the desire to bring about a result, but the act of producing it. The accomplishment gratifies him neither mediately nor immediately. It does not gratify him mediately because his fellow men at best are unconcerned about it, more often even greet it with taunts, sneers, and persecution. Many a genius could have used his gifts to render his life agreeable and joyful; he did not even consider such a possibility and chose the thorny path without hesitation…
      
      Neither does the genius derive immediate gratification from his creative activities. Creating is for him agony and torment, a ceaseless excruciating struggle against internal and external obstacles; it consumes and crushes him…
      
      The creative accomplishment of the genius is an ultimate fact of praxeology. It comes to pass in history as a free gift of destiny. It is by no means the result of production in the sense in which economics uses this term.

    • It is to obsessed lunatics that we owe the greater part of the world’s permanent literature. For most of history authors not only didn’t make money from their work, but often risked their lives by publishing it.
  Add Sticky Note
• There are enough books in the world. You want to write the ones that are good. The minute you write books because you need the income not because you think you have a good subject you should just stop. There are 60000 books published in this country every year and most of them are crap. You are making someone make a serious commitment, not the money but the time, to sit down with a book and enter this world. You want it to be good. You want the book to be special and they are not always going to be special but at least you want that to be the ambition.
• In my own (ex-)line of business, I see some parallels. Professional (performing) classical music offers a reasonable living to a small number of people in the world. In order to get good enough, and compete with the small handful of world-class players, a musician will have to spend many thousands, often hundreds of thousands of dollars achieving that goal. A starting spot in a major orchestra, is currently about $60,000 a year. Starting spots in the average minor orchestra is about $15,000 - $20,000 a year. Professional grade (string) instruments start at about $15,000. The instruments are merely the competitive edge. First class players have probably been paying for instruction and instruments (some of them) since they were five or six. Most practice (without pay) for many hours a day. Conservatories in the US turn out some 10,000 to 20,000 excellent players a year. There are 6 top grade symphonies in the country (in the SF Symphony class). Each orchestra has some 100+ players, who will probably remain with the orchestra for at least a couple of decades. What sort of person goes into the professional classical music performance industry, expecting to make a reasonable living? Sounds like the same sort of person that sets out to make a living as an author... Of course, unlike authors, it is very hard to convince an orchestra to hire you, if you are an untalented player.

• Hey Alexis, You' ve got good instincts, and The Wife would agree with you about the "relish" thing, although I remain convinced (deludedly, apparently) that I'm just performing a public service. But glad to see you doubting my motives ....

    

  Anyway, the "couple of hundred" figure was given to me by the guy who runs one of the big authors' organizations, so the figure's trustworthy even if I'm not. I can't imagine anymore more quaified to make a decent guesstimate than he.

    

  I said to the guy, How many people in this country make a living from writing books? He said, Do you want to include all kinds of books? I said, No, just bookstore-type books. No textbooks, and let's not include people who write computer-instruction books. And he said, Oh, in the low couple of hundreds.

    

  So yeah, the figure would include sci-fi writers, mystery authors, self-help authors, literary people, etc. The authors of all the stuff at the local Barnes & Noble, minus the computer section.

    

  As I say, one of the surprises of the field is how many even very big names can't and don't get by on what they make from their books.

    

  Can anyone think of a similar industry -- where the people who produce the product don't generally make a living doing so? I can't, but maybe I'm overlooking something obvious...
• Actually, I can think of one right off the bat.
   Child care workers. I know this because I am currently doing a child care survey analysis on wages and benefits in Dane County, WI. The average salary for an inhome child care worker is roughly 15k--that's gross. She will work 13-15 hours a day, have no benefits (healthcare!), and getno paid vacations. And the corker is that it doesnt matter if you have a Masters in Early chidhood or are Mrs Joeblow off the street with only a high school education. Workers who care for kids in centers have it only marginally better--they may get paid holidays. Still no healthcare etc. And unlike authors or musicians, these are the folks who are taking care of the majority of the children in this country.

• Another industry: acting.

    

  Only about 1 in 20 professional actors support themselves entirely by acting. This at first occasions rather sad but heartfelt discussions as people struggle to make sense of the idea that they are "really" actors even if they can't support themselves acting.

    

  I wonder if Wallace Stevens worried that he wasn't "really" a poet since he made no money at it.
• Over the years, I've hung out in the furthermost reaches of publishing and talked now and then with writers who are rather more in the thick of things. So I've wanted to comment knowledgeably on Michael Blowhard's initial posting, and even made a couple of attempts that I ended up deleting. I think MB said it all pretty well the first time. Even so...maybe I can add a few odds and ends after all...
• Felicity said something above that may have put a finger on a major factor. That people read at all any more. It seems as though more people want to write a book than actually read books. The perception endures of the successful writer as the wealthy fellow who stays at home all day and makes lots of money by sharing his imagination with his legions of adoring fans. The fans are actually watching TV and the writer is in competition for a share of the declining audience that still reads for pleasure with a lot of other would-be writers who want in on this sweet deal, too. Did something like this happen to poetry, another field where there seem to be more people who want to write it than to read it?
• At least in the science-fiction field, the theory used to be that success was cumulative. You'd write part-time in addition to your day job for some years, building up a following of loyal readers as well as a backlog of novels in print. Eventually, the continuing royalties from your previously published novels added to increasing advances for your latest works would add up to enough of a steady income that you could quit the day job and write full time. As I understand it, there have been changes in how publishers do business that have undermined this model for all but the most successful writers: books aren't kept in print as long, books aren't allowed to sit on booksellers' shelves as long, and as a result there's been a virtual elimination of what used to be called the "mid-list" -- the slow but steady selling titles that were an author's bread and butter. It seems to be getting more to the point of "Best-Seller or Die" for any given book. A working writer could probably explain all this better than I can.

• Are there other industries that have a ratio of paid creators to paid sellers comparable to book publishing? Yes, several that I have worked in:

    

  Game design - Thousands of designers, perhaps as many as a few dozen who make a living (this neglects role-playing game designers, of which more later.) There are thousands of stores in the US alone that sell games, each of which has at least a few employees. There are more hundreds of people employed in printing, assembling, and distributing games. As for the designers, a distributor of my acquaintance used to tell prospective game designers: "Take $50,000 in cash and put it in a suitcase. Go to the middle of the highest bridge you can find and throw that suitcase as hard as you can. At the end of this process, you will not be worse off financially, you won't have a garage full of unsalable games, you won't have suffered the pains of trying to sell your game, and you'll be done years earlier."

    

  Role-playing game design - Again, a few dozen people making a living, hundreds of others spending nights and weekends (or retirement funds) trying to make a living. Very similar to book publishing in the amount of hard work required, but there are many more self-published authors.

    

  Hobby accessories - Whether model railroad scenery, after-market RC car pieces, or doll-house furniture, this is another garage industry (or set of industries).

    

  The unifying theme seems to be that the people doing this are trying to find a way to have their fun and eat it too. 8-)

    

  From an economic point of view, I'd guess that the combination of expected monetary reward (in the long term) plus the nonmonetary reward of working with your hobby (more illusory than real) result in people entering these industries with wildly inflated opinions of their own prospective success.

• There is so much to read and to look at online, it's like being in a vast storehouse full of treasures - literally acres and acres full of gold, jewels, and valuable artifacts - and you can only take as much as you can carry in your hands. You don't know what to choose so you just keep looking, briefly examining and laying aside one piece of treasure and then the next and the next and the next. The Internet is like that for me. I find many sites where I want to spend more time reading but instead I just keep on surfing and finding other interesting sites. I always plan to come back to them... "later." ...

    

  I might actually be reading more now; it's only the routine that has changed. Maybe the availability of so much reading matter makes it seem like I'm not reading as much as I should. It has never occurred to me that I should try to read every book and magazine in the public library, but for some reason with the world's biggest library right here in the corner of my dining room I feel guilty about passing over anything I'm the least bit interested in. I feel I have to read it all.

• One alternative to job versus starvation may be to live somewhere off the beaten track that is very cheap. I have lived for 22 years in a small New Mexico village 75 miles by air from the nearest city, and in a determinedly un-chic part of the state.
   I live in a 100 year old stone house with 4 main rooms ( a nice piece of "Alexandrian" vernacular architecture) that cost me less than a cheap new car does today. My newest car is 13. My wife currently works part- time in the local post office. At times she has worked full- time, and often had no job at all. Our main expenses are books and travel.

    

  And travel itself can help pay the bills. We have in the last decade spent time in London, France, Zimbabwe, traveled twice to Mongolia, and are heading for Kazakhstan in the fall. All trips were at least work-related, and the last 3 paid for up front. What other life would give me freedom to do what I like and write about it? A job that paid for a month here and there would take all my time...expensive!

    

  Isolation was more of a problem 20 years ago. Now, with blogs, e-mail, and internet it's not even a factor. I "talk" every week with people in England, New York, Latvia, Finland, Russian, Kazakhstan and more. There is more info a click away than you could have had in, say, Victorian London.

    
• I would agree with the "50 page" theory. I never read books because I don't think there are many subjects out there that deserve book treatment, and I don't have time for somebody to cover their ass and stuff all the facts in a book. I always skim what I read anyway, so why not just chop it down and turn it into a little pamphlet or magazine article?
• By the way, another real economic setback as well as a lot of work in the off hours (goodbye, private life) is having children. If you're into watching TV and saving cash, don't write a novel and don't have kids. Man, the kids really get ya.

• Unfortunately, there are vast numbers of individuals who believe that taxes and the huge government that results from it are good for us. How many authors would be able to suppport themselves if they didn't have to support millions of nonproductive government workers at the same time? How many government workers read? How many of them are so bored with their jobs at the IRS or the CIA that they're writing a novel in the hopes of escaping from their boredom? How many of the government thrillers are competing with other "art" to be published? Think of all the tax accountants and attorneys who make their living by pushing tax-related papers, who never produce any books, cars, houses or products that add any enjoyment to life?

    

  The huge cut that the government sucks out of the markeplace at every level, the author's advance, the agent's salary, the bookstore's income, is money that creative people can no longer use to support creativity. It's time they don't have to write and it's money that they no longer have to buy the books that add value and enjoyment to their lives.

    

  Yes, the money ends up in the hands of others and they will spend it. But what will the recipients of those tax dollars spend it on? Baseball? A wide-screen TV for watching football games? Will they spend it on great stories about the nature of existence and survival when their own survival is guaranteed by the money they can take at the point of a gun from those who produce and sell art?

    

  Nobel Prize-winning ecomonist Milton Friedman noted in FREE TO CHOOSE that taxes distort markets. Once taxed, it is impossible to determine what real value is anymore because the price of something (the price paid to an author for his work or a bookstore for a book) is no longer an accurate measure of its real value to individual consumers. Markets become glutted with useless trash and real value falls by the wayside. Sounds like the book market that you described!
• Leave the lunatics alone...we need writers. Moby Dick sold only 3000 copies in the USA, and the critics were scornful of it. Jack Kerouac was rejected by every publisher on the east coast when he wrote On The Road...it took five years to find a publisher, and he was forced to make humiliating changes to it.(the ms has recently sold for two million.)But boy am I glad those guys stuck to their writing.
• I would also like to note, the low rate of pay for both writers and childcare workers is based on the notion that people think these are easy, low-skill jobs.

• Responding to the point way above about childcare:
   When I lived in San Francisco, it seemed as if every waiter and half the carpenters were 'really' artists of some kind - painters, actors, writers - or on a spiritual quest of some sort.

    

  I was a carpenter/writer, and when our son was born we found a pregnant artist who wanted to run a small daycare to pay her way. Not being the kind to do things by halves, Sterret Smith had got a degree in child-something-or-other, and instead of actually living off her daycare income, it seemed as if she plowed it all back into toys and improvements (I built her a child-sized play loft, thus circulating our dollars nicely). I loved her paintings but was much more impressed by her childcare. She was truly a master in the art of starting children off in their lives. These kids had their imaginations stimulated every day, and learned how to resolve disputes without an adult's intervention (or with a minimal one) to a degree that still shows in my son's mid-teen years.

    

  I began to wonder why there were so many young people waitressing or hammering so they could occasionally act or write, but few if any doing the same so they could be daycare providers. The latter seemed much more worth doing, or at least as worth doing, but we had all somehow absorbed the notion that it is an unromantic boring slog. For me, it probably would be, just as for some writing is pain and agony (whereas I have had months of ecstasy at the best points in novel writing) but for Sterrett it wasn't. Of course, she had endless dirty diapers, and the money wasn't good, and she depended to some extent I suppose on her husband, except that he was a freelance writer himself...

    

  I wish childcare could be seen as more of an exciting area to work, money or not. Maybe there could be some way of starting an upward creativity spiral inb the field... Or maybe Sterrett should write a book about it... and suffer further penury.
• Every once in a while I get an e-mail from some person who has read a poem or work of fiction of mine, written maybe 30 or so years ago, telling me my words have touched them and moved them enough to contact me. Nothing can replace the feeling that comes from receiving that message. The magic of the well written word cannot be denied.

• You said "Hey, my English profs didn't tell me about this!". Right on! There is a lot more they didn't tell you..

    

  LIKE -- universities are totally geared and set-up to make money and are businesses,not benevolent institutions designed to see you succeed.

    

  LIKE -- when you decide to become a writer (or English student)make sure you do not ignore the fact there is competition in every field and though it seems unfair, others will succeed,
   and no matter how much you love it,
   you can fail consistently.

    

  LIKE -- those who do succeed were destined to succeed through
   their "success gene", that little sting of DNA that makes them blind to failure and are driven to success like a moth to a campsite lantern, even if they
   studied plumbing they would end up owning a string of shops.

    

  LIKE -- higher education is a brainwashing and re-programming process designed to produce worker-bees on various levels, it is NOT a process designed to make you rich or successful, the sooner you realize this, the more successful you become, they are there to sell seats.

    

  LIKE -- people don't buy creative writing to entertain someone else's ego, they buy creative writing to be entertained.

    

  
   The list goes on what universities don't tell their students. What they DO is sell dreams and a "product" which is a program designed to align your thinking with an agenda. What YOU have to do is figure out what that agenda is. Once you have done that you will have as much money as you can possibly stand.

• Popular Rock and Pop bands don't make millions and zillions of dollars producing beautiful tracks of symphonic
   masterpieces, they were intelligent business people who sell well produced songs about the money making themes like SEX, DRUGS, MURDER, WAR all of which the Beatles were a prime example of in the new commercialization of popular culture.

    

  Most of outrageously successful and popular rapper groups have management who know it is not a matter of selling a new rhythm thousands of times for a large price, it is a matter of selling
   an old rhythm millions and millions of times for a small price.

    

  The frustration that you are feeling, the melancholy emotions, come with the sad realization people don't want to pay you for what is GOOD and what YOU want to believe in. But they will pay you for what they have been programmed to believe in.

    

  A few tricks are writing new twists and imaginative new versions on; the masses are entertained by raunchy murder themes, they are entertained by raunchy horror themes, they are entertained by raunchy sex scenes, they are entertained by raunchy drug themes, they are entertained by raunchy sad sad scenes.

    

  I can understand your frustration with writing for a planet of people who are
   destined for failure by their core obsession with other peoples misfortunes
   and their lust for sex, drugs and violence. But that is all that entertains them now that the "shock value" bar has been raised so high.
• Sure its a sad commentary on the state of our civilization but you brought up the subject of how (or how not) to succeed in book publishing. Simple, write for self-destructing audience. Just how sick is our world? With 80 million copies sold, 65 titles and 37 languages, Chicken Soup for the Soul� made international publishing history.They were rejected by 140 publishers.

• I will say that I detest the traditional publishers. They lie. They cheat. They never tell you how many books are out there, not to say, it's some big KGB secret re: how many really sold. They do deals with other big pubs, and get behind mediocre books due to big names, or friendships. All the chains get paid to show certain books up front in the stores. It's all a big money raquet, in which we lowly writers rarely get to partake. So, question:

    

  Is there something in between traditional publishing and blogging/ self-publishing. ONe hopes yes. This one doesn't have a clue. Best, Louise

• I think a thread that ties the books, movies, TV, and music industries together (and these are the most frequently cited ones in our postings above). They're all big money entertainment industries, geared toward creating bland, middle-of-the-road stuff that everyone will buy. It's largely because of the consolidation of media ownership, and the high stakes of the industries, that this is happening. If it wasn't the case that a huge proportion of books were sold in chain stores, which do big-money deals with the publishers, for example, there'd be a greater variety of books.

    

  As Michael said, it's the proliferation of middlemen (agent, publisher, layout/designer, editor, bookstore owner) all of whom DO make a living that sucks up the money.

    

  Another thing that has cracked me up about practically all the books I've worked on is the way the actual writing is viewed as a small detail by the middlemen. I'm in music journalism, and often write entries in music guides. many of them are good books and pay decently, but their approach has always amused me. They have a concept, it's sold, it's put into production, it's designed in many cases, and then they call me (along with twenty other writers) and say "we need 20,000 words in three weeks." If they don't get it in three weeks, the production schedule is thrown off! Im currently writing an encyclopedia, and it's the same thing; the publisher, a well-respected textbook press, had the whole thing put into production before word one was written. Now I have to compromise quality to get it done on time!

• And a quick note of appreciation to those who say, Yeah, but writing books isn't the only way to get by from writing: Well, of course you're right, and many thanks for reminding us, and for giving examples of such. I will point out, though, that this posting wasn't intended as a comprehensive survey of how people get by from writing.

    

  It wasn't intended as a pro-books-writing or anti-books-writing piece of cheerleading either. People can and will write books no matter what my opinion is, which is as it should be. Instead, I simply wanted to confront people's fantasies about writing books for a living with a few of the actual facts of the field. People who fantasize about writing books for a living aren't daydreaming about scraping by on reprint rights, stays at writers colonies, writing freelance travel articles, chasing down fellowships and teaching gigs, and pulling together encyclopedia entries on ridiculous schedules, which is what the professional book-writer's life often consists of. They're daydreaming instead about getting paid a decent living for writing the books they'd love to write. And the general books press isn't letting them know what the field really consists of. Hence this blog posting.
• I see a lot of comments by writers--published, unpublished, manque, parkay. What I don't see are comments by writers and publishers saying, "You damn fools! Send me your stuff. I'll take an honest, fair look at it. If within three pages I can tell it sucks, I will send you a letter saying it sucks. If it's as good as you say it is I will try to get it published." Don't agents and publishers troll the Internet and the blogs hunting for innovation and talent?
• One profession which, I believe, is even more poorly treated than that of the novelist is the screenwriter. Because they are so expensive to produce, the ratio of written screenplays to produced films is even lower than that of written to published novels. The cost also makes it prohibitive for most people to produce their own. Despite this, everybody thinks screenwriting is easy and thousands upon thousands of screenplays get written that will never see the light of day. Furthermore, although well paid by many standards, screenwriters are poorly paid by film standards, with a small handful of writers making anything near what a mid-level actor or director can expect to make. But, the killer for me is that writers have no respect in Hollywood, where they can slave on a project for years only to have it be taken away from them and given to somebody else. (I have never heard of this happening to a novelist!)

• It took me 8 years to write my first novel, (a piece of crap), 3 years for my second (moderately awful, on the same level as Clancy and his ilk - you know, cardboard characters and boring plot), and two years for my third (which, read the reviews, really is damn fine).

    

  And when I got the third one published, I discovered that if you're not published by one of the 'BIG 6' publishers, *nobody will review your novel*!

    

  It's as if there's some kind of conspiracy going on. And if nobody reviews it, no bookstores will stock it. And it certainly won't appear in any chains, like hotels, airports and so on, because ALL those outlets buy only pulp paperbacks from the New York Times (yech) 'best seller' list - and all those are chosen arbitrarily from the BIG 6 publishers.
• Out of date farming methods are contributing to the erosion of the top soil. The solution, no till farming, currently is not being embraced due to the cost of re-equipping farms. The longer the nations of the world keep from practicing no till farming, the greater amount of the worlds farming top soil will be eroded, leaving less farmable land over time.
   Further complicating matters, this huge world population is tearing through the rainforests of the world recklessly. The world is currently experiencing a mass extinction rate comparable to the fabled asteroid that killed off the dinosaurs. The casualties of our resource use and pollution policies are not limited to the land, but the world�s oceans as well. Though there are people who are working to save the environment, the combined effects seem only to slightly slow the inevitable. With the onset of the pacific region reaching new levels of industrialization, unchecked pollution emissions are contributing to global warming. Complicate this further with a thinning ozone layer and years of past industrial pollution and we have our current state of environmental problems.
   The 6 billion people or more who walk the earth contribute to the potential of a highly communicable disease spreading through out the world. Modern travel by airplane now makes it possible for a particularly nasty airborne germ to make its way around the world in three days. Many people, even in the most industrialized and modern of countries, can�t afford medical care. However, tens of billions of dollars are spent every year for entertainment. Among the highest paid are the few artists, directors, actors, authors, and professional sports people. The point has been made that we pay the people who take care of our children, our future, maybe 15K a year for a 13 to 15 hour day. However we will pay entertainers tens of millions.

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• I will admit that I admire skeptics. I look up to guys like Robert Shiller, who first pointed out the tech bubble, then for an encore pointed out the real estate bubble. Despite all of the pundits who talked about structural changes in the economy, how things are different, Dow 36000, stocks as less risky investments, etc, Shiller held his ground. From my perspective though, it doesn't seem like anyone decided to start listening to him after 2000. Warren Buffett was the same way - lambasted in the late 1990s as too old school, even though he turned out to be right. He's simultaneously worshiped as one of the world's greatest investors, and despised for being a value, buy and hold kind of guy in an age when quants rule wall street. It's sort of paradoxical.
• It has just been my experience that when I get to the core of any idea, person, company, or organization, I almost always find that it has been overhyped. As a result, skepticism is my natural starting position.

• In the early days of the web, I was always the guy responding to chain emails with links to Snopes or Urban Legends. And now, with this blog, I've been critical of "wisdom of crowds," of Google's strategy and stock price, the book "Good to Great," and lots of other things people on the web seem to love. Sometimes I turn out to be right, and intellectually it always feels good, but it's always a pretty lonely vindication. The next time I turn negative on something, no one says "better listen to Rob…"

   

  You see, people really prefer positive people. People need hope, and that is why it sucks to poke holes in the stuff they believe. Our delusions are very dear to us. We want to believe that there is at least the small possibility that Bill Gates really will send us $1000 for every person we forward an email to, and we don't like it when someone tells us it isn't true.
• So I find myself in a perpetually uncomfortable position. I feel compelled by the virtue of intellectual honesty to say what I think, even if I disagree, yet I know that people don't want to hear disagreement. And, I know that if I turn out to be right (obviously, I'm not always right, but I do have a very good batting average), it will probably cause bitterness more than anything else. So what's a businesspundit to do? That's why I prefer to keep to myself as much as possible. The less time I spend around people, the less they ask me what I think.
• The point of it all, I guess, is that sometimes I just wish I could turn off the skepticism. But on the flip side, I feel like I've avoided many of the problems that I've seen others experience because I am skeptical. As a result, I have this simultaneous pride and disgust for my skeptical leanings. It's weird. What I really want is just to do something day to day where that aspect of my personality can come through and be an asset. I just don't what that is.
• Skeptics who go against the popular theories and are right belong in financial markets. Go work for a hedge fund. Be a trader. If skepticism is that much of you, the entrepreneurial route may not be enough to satisfy.
• Your skepticism is probably best characterized as “critical thinking” in other circles, a unique and immutable skill that has and will continue to bring you success. Keep it up.
• I think that you miss the point with your comment that “people like positive people.” While that may be true; it’s tangential. The important point is that nothing happens if people always say no. It’s the person who says yes who gets things done; and generally they are saying yes in the face of nay-sayers.
• I further assert that the final score in life is not how many times someone was “correct” but rather how much they accomplished. In the end, it’s not about being “right”. It’s about making things happen. I’d rather be right on a “yes, lets do it” 1 time out of 10 than right on a “no, lets not do it” 9 of 10 times.

• Now that’s not to say that every idea is a good idea or that there is not a place for healthy skepticism. But it is to say that a skeptical mindset can really get in the way of accomplishing things.

   

  As a final comment, my personal advice to everyone is to know your bent and then “go for the no.” That is, if you are naturally a “no” person, you should consciously spend time looking for the “yes” reasons. If you are naturally a “yes” person, spend time looking for the “no.”
• The tough thing is while no is usually the right answer, it is the question that is usually wrong. One has to search for the correct question which can be answered affirmatively. Entrepreneurs often end up stumbling over it when they pursue their misguided objectives, which is why yes can be correct even when it is wrong.

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• Developing dynamic flexibility

   

  Dynamic flexibility is flexibility in motion! It is best developed through dynamic stretching. Not only does it perfect intermuscular coordination, it also reduces passive resistance of movement throughout an active range of motion.

• Guidelines for the dynamic stretching method

   

  Dynamic stretching involves moving parts of your body while gradually increasing reach, speed of movement, or both. It does not involve stopping and holding the stretched position. There is no bobbing, bouncing, or jerky movements. The movements should be controlled throughout the range of motion despite being quick. Repeat: The stretch is not sudden, it is CONTROLLED AND FLUID! Dynamic stretches are best performed in multiple sets with a number of repetitions (varying depending on the movement). Fatigue causes a decrease in amplitude of dynamic movements, so dynamic stretching is not recommended when you are beat and tired; It is also not recommended that you work dynamic stretching to any point of exhaustion. Do only the possible number of repetitions that you can do without diminishing your range of motion.

• [CAUTION] Doing more repetitions in the diminished range of motion will set the nervous regulation of the muscles' length at that level, a level of lowered flexibility!

   
• So to maximize dynamic flexibility increase and prevent any reduction of it - Don't do it while fatigued and don't repeat reduced efforts. Even after reaching the desired maximal range of motion in a joint in any direction of movement, do not exhaust yourself with too many more repetitions of this movement; You will set an unnecessarily solid memory of the range of these movements. You'll have to overcome these memories in order to make more progress. We'll talk more about appropriate volume (Sets/reps/frequency) up ahead. You should strive to practice it fresh and finish it fresh. Fresh like Ultra Norsk fresh, which is very fresh! So remember now, that the key word for dynamic stretching is: FRESH!

• Dynamic stretching in your training

   

  The greatest aspect of developing dynamic flexibility is it's excellent convenience. In training, it should become part of your warmup; Moreover, it only takes between 10-15 minutes to do a sufficient volume of stretches to warrant an increase. I would do it after the first part of a general warm up.

• Maximizing dynamic flexibility gains (Morning routine)

   

  Dynamic stretching increase can be maximized when carried out daily, a couple of times a day. So if you want to reach full dynamic flexibility quicker or maximize this ability it should also be done in the morning upon waking (or late afternoon upon waking if you are a tragic teen or of the vampiric persuasion). Do it before breakfast, a heavy meal can cause a diminished blood flow to the muscles, screw up digestion, or cause discomfort(Especially side lifts, DANNNNNG! Grumble stomach).
• 

  • Really unnaceptable leg tilt in a back lift stretch
• Quad squeeze stretch [1]:This is a great stretch to toss in combination with the back lift stretch. Sometimes you just want your quads to be loosened up!
• 
• 

  • Unnaceptable Leg Tilt in a Back Lift Stretch

• If you are worried about increased catabolization of the muscles by exercising in a fasted state upon waking, do not worry: Dynamic stretching should not fatigue, and a morning routine in particular should not fatigue! Don't overdo it! The morning routine should typically take about 10-15 minutes to complete for most people, longer for novice trainees. This is about the same duration of time that dynamic stretching takes during a pre-training warmup. The purpose of this stretching is to reset the nervous regulation of the length of your muscles for the rest of the day. No cool down will be needed as long as you didn't overdo it. If so, spend some time walking around or just do some wiggles and jiggles to loose up - DON'T EAT SKITTLES!

   

  Finally, go eat breakfast. Actually, if you drink a shake for breakfast, it should be possible to drink it during the stretching as long as it doesn't cause noticeable discomfort. No shake? You can drink some water. Aren't you thirsty when you wake up? I know I am!
• 
• Quad squeeze stretch [2]:Keep the body upright and the hips forward by tightening the glutes - and whip the heel back.
• Quad squeeze stretch [3]:Easy, just kick your own ass! Think of it as pawing the ground like a bull or animal.
• 

• How to apply dynamic stretches:

   

  Start the movements slowly and gently, gradually increasing the range and speed of the movements. [DO NOT] Throw or force them! Lead or lift them. Synchronize your breathing so you breath out when you bend forward, and breath in when bending backward. More importantly though, just breath natural and comfortably. After you have nearly reached your full range of motion, begin increasing the velocity of these movements. At this point, the last few inches of each movement will likely be less controlled, but the stretch should never be sudden. Increasing velocity will provide more benefit for actual skills. In fact, you can incorporate many basic martial arts kicks at this point (such as inside or outside crescent kicks). This allows for an easier transition into your actual martial arts or tricking practice if desired. Stretch at no less than 75% maximal velocity used in your actual skill after the first few sets of dynamic stretching.

   
• Side lift stretch [1]:No fancy stance, look in the direction you will be kicking and keep your hands up (As all the pretty little Martial Arts boys and girls do!)
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• Side lift stretch [2]:The base foot will shift to point in the opposite direction of your kick during the stretch. The lifting leg's foot maintains a lateral relationship with the floor and ceiling. You can use your hand as a marker for progress, starting at about hip height and gradually increasing the amplitude and velocity of the stretch as previously suggested for the other stretches.
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• Back lift stretch [2]:Keep the base leg's position stable and lift your other leg behind you, pointing the toes. Generally, this stretch can be slightly varied from little changes in head position or hip tilt, but the main goal is to stretch the front of your thigh: [NOT THE GROIN] So maintain an awareness that your lifting leg does not rotate to the outside.
• 
• Side lift stretch [3]: To add momentum to this stretch you can step in front of the kicking leg with the non-kicking leg.
• Back lift stretch [3]:Here is a back view of the stretch. View the thumbnails below to check appropriate, inappropriate, and really inappropriate leg rotation in a back lift dynamic stretch.
• 
• 
• Side lift stretch [4]:Here is a front view of the side lift stretch. Your hips have a tendency to roll to the back and your trunk will lean forward, if you fight this tendency you will jam the neck of your thigh bone into the cartilage collar at the upper edge of the hip socket. If you have a Coxa vara (A bending of the neck of the femur), you could also jam the Greater Trochanter into your hip bone. So don't fight this tendency! You should also avoid leaning too far forward as well. Just do what feels most natural and work on increasing height and speed of lift.
• Novice will need to start with a greater number of repetitions to achieve decent results because it will take a greater amount of repetitions to reach maximum amplitude of a stretch. For most people, maximal range of motion in a given workout can be achieved after roughly 10-15 leg raises in any given direction. I recommend 3-4 sets of 9-12 repetitions per movement in any given direction for developing dynamic leg flexibility. Increase the height of each lift slowly
• 

  • Acceptable leg tilt in a back lift stretch
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• Outside - Inside swing [1]This is a modified inside crescent kick. Your goal is to feel a stretch in your glutes, hips, and your trunk. Your goal is not to kick high. Start with your swinging leg behind you.
• Switch legs after each set or in between reps. After nearing your maximum range of motion, increase velocity! After a month or two, doing this several times a week, you'll notice you can comfortably reach your maximum height in these movements with less repetitions. This should also be all the time you need to reach your maximum potential height as well. Less will be needed for maintenance: 15-25 leg raises would suffice.
• 
• Outside - Inside swing [2]Bring the leg across as far as possible. I find you can get a better stretch from bringing it up a bit at first, then taking it across - rather than taking it across and up at the same time.
• Front lift stretch [1]:Keep your hands up, you can use one as a target if you would like to measure progress. Maintain good posture (avoid the slouch). You can start this with the kicking leg behind you in a staggered stance or from a position with both feet shoulder width apart, side by side.
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• 
• Outside - Inside swing [3]Your arms and trunk will naturally shift to accommodate the stretch, that is okay! Don't be stiff, be loose. Get that rear stretched and get the leg across. You can also bend the knee a bit and just knee over if you wish. Keeping your leg straight isn't essential - feeling a good stretch by getting that leg across is.
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• Front lift stretch [2]:Your supporting leg should be straight and the supporting heel should be flat on the ground at all times. Begin the lift as high as feels comfortable, lifting the leg directly in front of you.
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• Outside crescent kick [1]Crescent kicks are arcing kicks included as staples in many martial arts. The outside crescent kick is done from a fixed position like so and relies heavily upon hip flexibility to generate power.
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• Front lift stretch [3]:Here is the staggered stance variation. The lifting leg starts behind you, this allows you to use momentum and increase the amplitude of the stretch.
• Outside crescent kick [2]Starting from a 45 degree angle across the body, begin by arcing the leg up away from the centerline.
• 
• 
• Front lift stretch [4]:After a set or so you should reach your maximum height and the speed of the lift should be increased. Work both stances for the best result
• Outside crescent kick [3]Turn your hips inward using an upper body torque to get the leg across. The outside of the foot is what contacts the striking area in an outside crescent kick. If you have nothing to strike, you must self select a visual target and bring your foot across this focal point.
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• 
• Knee lift [1]This stretch is best used preceding front lift stretching. It's especially valuable for those times your hip flexors are stressed from training previously done in the week and you value caution.
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• Outside crescent kick [4]Return the kick to the kicking position; Maintain a smooth, even motion.
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• Knee lift [2]Simply lift the knee up to your chest. You can do this from the staggered stance with your rising leg starting behind you for momentum, or from a position with both feet next to each other, shoulder width apart.
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• Outside crescent kick [5]The outside crescent is critical for trick, kicking combos. Hooks are also kicks of preference for chain combos, but the crescent kick is more applicable for basic flexibility development.
• Back lift stretch [1]:Use a support at about hip height. Lower than hip height is more preferable than higher if the choice is available. You can grab onto a lot of stuff; Chain link fence, grill, patio chair, plyo platforms, your brother, the tail of your car, bleachers...
• 
• 
• Inside crescent kick [1]This kick is done from a fixed position with the kicking leg moving from outside your body and crossing in front of the centerline. It looks a lot like a curved front lift. For this example the kick will be done with the rear leg, so set the foot back in a makeshift backstance.
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• 
• Inside crescent kick [2]Starting from a 45 degree angle across the body, begin by arcing the leg up toward the centerline.
• Inside crescent kick [3]Keep the leg straight as you bring it up in a shaped arc. In the inside crescent, the bottom of the foot makes contact with the striking surface. If there is no target, pick a visual point and aim for it.
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• Inside crescent kick [4]The inside crescent is not designed to return the kicking foot to it's starting point. It will just be dropped down to your side.
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• Inside crescent kick [5]This kick makes up a basic foundation for many crescent style kick tricks. Beginning with the simplistic tornado, and leading to all the 540 variations and 900 kicks. Work to increase the fluidness and speed of the kick.
• 

• Trunk stretches:

   

  Reaching the maximal range of motion in a workout for the trunk can take longer than the lower or upper body regions; It could take over 25 repetitious bends or twists in any direction to reach this maximal range. Developing it could take as many as 40-70 movements. For simple, 30 repetitions should suffice just fine. [Novice take note:] There are both sitting and standing stretches presented here. I recommend working with the sitting variations before trying the major standing ones. The standing variations can become ballistic stretches if poorly applied. Ballistic stretching = The bad.
• Sitting rotation [1]:Sit up straight with good posture and spread your legs out a little.
• 
• 
• Sitting rotation [2]:Keep your hips and legs immobile and twist from side to side, look in the direction of your twist. You can choose to do one side at a time, or alternate back and forth going side2side. You may choose to begin the first few repetitions keeping your head facing forward, simply turning your body back and forth gently in preparation of a greater stretch.
• 
• Sitting side bend [1]:Begin this stretch in the same position as the sitting rotations with your hands behind your head. You will be bending down to the side.
• 
• Sitting side bend [2]:DO NOT emphasize a hamstring stretch. In fact, I recommend keeping your knees slightly bent - this is a trunk stretch, not a hamstring bounce fest! Keep both elbows way back when doing this stretch, don't let them slouch inward.
• Sitting front bend [1]:Spread your legs far apart enough so your torso can go in between them, maintain a bend in the knee joint. Put your hands behind your head as pictured; Otherwise, if kept in the classic Hands behind head : Hostage look, your elbows will likely get in the way of the stretch.
• 
• 
• Sitting front bend [2]:A view from the front. Exhale on the way down and let your back round.
• 
• A view from the side.
• Laying backward bend [1]:Lay on your stomach. This is the starting position of this exercise.
• 
• 
• Laying backward bend [2]:Raise your trunk up using the muscles of your arms and back. Do not become static at the end of this exercise, let yourself drop back down as soon as you reach the end of the motion.
• Standing rotation [1]:YAY! Now we get to the standing trunk stretches. *Ahem* Spread your feet wider than shoulder width apart, keep good posture and look forward. This is the starting position of the exercise. It will work just like the sitting rotations.
• 
• Standing rotation [2]:Begin gently twisting side to side. Look in the direction of your twist only after you are comfortable with the motion.
• 
• Standing rotation [3]:EMPHASIZE THE STRETCH - NOT THE MOTION. Feel the pull on the abdominals as well as your lower back, do not FLAIL your arms wildly across - this stretch requires more of your attention because control is easily lost in the standing position, then safety becomes compromised. The last thing you want is a lower back injury from something silly like a trunk twist.
• 
• Angled rotation [1]:There are many different angles to do this stretch, so there is nothing set in stone for an angled rotation except... BE CAREFUL!
• 
• Angled rotation [2]:Simply twist at an angle one side at a time or side2side. It is wise to let your hips follow through on the stretch when increasing velocity or striving for greater amplitudes. Get creative on this stretch. When I do it, I like to imagine I'm turning for a trick like a sideswipe or a double leg.
• 
• Standing side bends [1]:If you've never seen someone do this stretch you've lived a very sheltered life. Simply bend directly to one side, one arm coming over the top. Make sure this arm comes over your head parallel, meaning if you were to drop it, it would rest on the side of your head over the ear. The other arm usually has a tendency to rest on the upper leg or hip.
• 
• Standing dips [1]:This stretch is a great extracurricular exercise for improving your butterfly twists. I find the best way to begin this exercise is to do a setup for a butterfly twist right before the dip and stop: This sets the position for your feet.
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• 
• Standing dips [2]:Now, regardless of your dip preference for the butterfly twist you should begin by dipping down low at the first knee.
• Standing dips [3]:Keep your chest close to your knees. Legs bent or not - your preference. It really depends on if you are doing this more for the stretch or for training of the move.
• Standing dips [4]:Now, to keep this from becoming ballistic come all the way up in one fluid motion. If you want to work for flexibility in the dip - consider keeping the legs straight and exaggerating the stretch. If you want to work more for butterfly twist training - consciously practice your dip and come out of the stretch with a jump or something.
• 

• Upper body stretches:

   

  Maximal range of motion per workout should be reached after only 5-10 arm swings in any given direction, this should be the minimum number per set. For anybody developing dynamic flexibility of the upper body, the total number per workout should be 30-40 for flexion-extension of the arm, and between 15-30 for circular swings or hang reaches. Most likely, you will only need a minimum of about 15 repetitions of any movement for maintenance.
• 
• Single arm swingsSwing one arm at a time, keeping the other motionless. Swing them in various directions with different upper body angles.
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• Alternating arm swingsSwing both arms at the same time in opposing directions.
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• Bent arm swingsTry swinging the arms bent at the elbow joint instead of straight. For example, by modifying the upward swing with the elbow bent, the triceps are receiving greater isolation than when the joint was extended.
• Arm swings to the side
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• Arm circlesThis picture doesn't serve the stretch justice, but the arm is actually moving in clockwise and counter-clockwise circles in front of the body.
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• Dual arm swings
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• Arm swings with both arms moving together in the same direction.
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• Chest and back pullsPulling the arms back like this opens up the chest, giving it a wonderful stretch. By tossing them forward and caving the body in, we could stretch the back this way too.
• Flying birdUmmm yep. You can also turn the palms in different directions during swing stretches!
• 

• Dynamic stretching videos

   

  Would you like to see these slides in action? I've made videos for them! I will list them for you:

   
   
  • Front lift stretch
   
  • Back lift stretch
   
  • Side lift stretch
   
  • Inside crescent kicks
   
  • Outside crescent kick
   
  • Outside-inside swing
   
  • Upper body dynamic stretches
   
  • Sitting dynamic twist stretches
   
  • Standing dynamic twist stretches

• A summary for dynamic flexibility training

   

  Dynamic stretching will integrate beautifully into a tricking session. It will not take a long time to develop dynamic flexibility to desirable levels and as you continue applying it the volume needed to maintain these levels will become smaller. You should begin including it in your training as soon as possible, you won't be disappointed.

• Developing static passive flexibility

   

  Ah. Here we go. Static passive flexibility, the ability to assume and maintain extended positions using external means (such as your own body weight, holding a position with assisting limbs, or a partner), is best developed through a combination of isometric stretching and relaxed stretching below the pain threshold.

   

  *NOTE: Isometric stretching is also known as PNF [Proprioceptive Neuromuscular Facilitation] stretching.

   

  Passive flexibility usually exceeds both active static and active dynamic flexibility in the same joint. The greater this difference, the greater the possibility of increasing the amplitude of active movements.

• Isometric stretching

   

  PROS:

   
   
  • The fastest method of developing static passive flexibility.
   
  • Improves active flexibility more than relaxed stretching.
   
  • Improves strength in concentric, isometric, and eccentric actions.
   
  • May cause longitudinal growth of muscle fibers.
   
  • You don't have to do them very often!
   
   

  CONS:

   
   
  • Not for everyone. Not recommended for children or younger teenagers whose bones are still growing.
   
  • Not recommended for those who are mostly sedentary.
   
  • Can be harmful if strength training has been neglected or improperly applied.
   
  • Can fatigue, and becomes more difficult when fatigued.
   
  • More difficult to apply than other static stretching methods.

• Relaxed stretching

   

  PROS:

   
   
  • Does not cause fatigue.
   
  • Can be done anytime, even when you are fatigued or not warmed up.
   
  • More relaxing than any other stretching method.
   
  • Anybody can do them!
   
   

  CONS:

   
   
  • Takes a long time to reach the maximum flexibility limit per stretch.
   
  • Progress is slow and takes more frequent applications to see results.
   
  • Does not improve strength.

• Ballistic stretching

   

  PROS:

   
   
  • There... really are none.
   
   

  CONS:

   
   
  • A stretch cannot be adjusted or corrected once started.
   
  • May result in immediate as well as residual pain.
   
  • Fails to provide sufficient time for the tissues to adapt to a stretch.
   
  • Aggravates and actually encourages a stronger stretch reflex response.
   
   

  *A NOTE ON BALLISTIC STRETCHING: Ballistic stretching involves bobbing, bouncing, rebounding, and rhythmic types of movement. Momentum becomes the driving force that moves the body or limb to forcibly increase the range of motion in this type of stretching. You've seen it before. It's the clown at the dojo or gym that sits in a stretched position bouncing up and down, up and down, up and down, getting seemingly nowhere in the stretch. We will not be discussing it any further.

• Test your static passive flexibility potential

   

  Splits are a popular stretching benchmark and a great candidate for isometric stretching. Not everybody will be able to do the splits after correctly implementing these stretching methods. Do the following tests to determine if you have the potential to do the front and side splits.

   

   
• 
• Front split testThis is the deep lunge stretch, the knee of the front leg is flexed; Take note of the angle between the thighs, they should be able to form a 180 degree angle. If so, then your hips joints and their ligaments are not preventing you from doing the front split.
• Side split testRest one leg on a structure like so... Keep your hips and your raised leg in a straight line. This is the half split position, if you can do it on both sides you have proved to yourself that your hip joints and their ligaments are not preventing you from doing the side split. There are no muscles that run from one leg to the other, if you can do this with both legs one at a time, why can't you do it with both legs at the same time? Huh? HUH?!
• 

• The isometric stretching method in detail:

   

  I recommend isometric stretching for the healthier, more active and well conditioned athletes out there.

• So what is this isometric stretching and how does it work?

   

  Basically, you add strong tensions during common static passive stretches,   which evoke postcontractive relaxations and ultimately, increase the range of   motion in a stretch. So, you pretty much just flex your muscles during a stretch   - then follow that with an instant relax / increase combo. This puts the smack   down on the stretch reflex and in turn, allows you to stretch further.

• Guidelines for isometric stretching

   

  For increasing flexibility, isometric stretching should be done at least twice a week, at a maximum of about four times a week. For maintenance, it should only take one good application per week. The isometric method is best for those stretches that are stuck at a plateau, so I would only recommend using isometrics for those stretches that you really need greater mobility in. The splits are a good example of stretch that can easily plateau, isometrics work wonders for the splits.

   

  Isometric stretching is not for everyone, to see if you are ready try it out! If you are consistently sore after every isometric application, if your flexibility is getting worse or not improving, or if you actually hurt something in the process of using it, you're not ready for isometric stretching! You are a wimp! Nah, but because isometric stretching involves the utilization of tension in extended positions, some people might not be prepared to employ them in their training; Moreover, it is usually not recommended for younger teens and children for this same reason. Depending on the strength of the muscle and the amount of stress the stretch causes, the damage from poor preparation can announce itself as muscle soreness or complete muscle tear! Finally, if nothing else, poor preparation will likely hinder results, meaning you could be wasting your time.

   

  Gawd! Something is wrong, cause I tried it and I've been sore for days! It's painful; But I want the splits, is it safe to continue?

   

  It's likely the lack of strength. You can try reapplying it and seeing if your body adapts overtime. If an injury has announced itself you're done for!

• How should I build strength for isometrics?

   

  Well first, strength is defined as The force that a muscle or muscle group can exert against resistance. So the most direct way is resistance training throughout a full range of motion: Like barbell squats through a full range, sprints through a full range, leg press in full ranges of motion; The keyword is strength throughout a full range of motion. However, there are more all in one alternatives such as martial arts, which can develop a whole slew of biomotor characteristics, such as speed, a little strength, coordination, and flexibility as well; Even endurance! A nice little package if I do say so myself. Gymnastics is another great all in one package. Tricking could build up strength too. But for specifically building strength, the best is direct resistance training. And as stated, resistance training throughout a full range of motion will provide the greatest benefit for isometric stretching.

• Isometric stretching in your training

   Isometric stretching should be applied at the end of your tricking or training  session. It should take between 10-25 minutes for most people, but it ultimately  depends on how many isometric stretches you are including and your conditioning  level. If you want to apply isometrics separate from a training session, include  it after an extended warmup with some preliminary sets of strength movements:  Preferably movements spanning a full range of motion.

• How to apply isometric stretching

   

  Let's do a quick test, flex any muscle on your body. Go ahead. I'm not talking about a pose or a particular position, just tense a muscle. Tense a muscle group. Tense up! Come on sissy, grit your teeth and surface those muscle fibers! Steel wire! Steel wire! Okay, you understand. Constipation! Now, in isometric stretching, you will stretch to your maximal painless limit, just to the point of mild - moderate discomfort. Back off just slightly from this point. Okay, we're this far: Simply begin to tense up the regions under the stretch. Tense for about 5-7 seconds, gradually increasing the tension until about the third or fourth second when you reach your maximal tension. The last couple of seconds you make that shit CRAZY tight - like Grunt and Grit tight. WE ARE SOLID! Then release the tension and increase the stretch IMMEDIATELY. Don't wait to increase the stretch, the moment you let go of that built tension you drop slightly further. Relax. Repeat this process until you've reached your flexibility limit for this position. When you are at your max, create one last tension - this time holding it for about 30 seconds / You can even keep it tight for a minute or so if you desire. Come out of the stretch, rest for a few minutes, and repeat this process a couple more times for the best developmental results.

• NOVICE AND THOSE NEW TO ISOMETRIC STRETCHING - PAY ATTENTION: Start with milder and shorter tensions just to experiment. Take it easy when beginning to get used to the process of it, then begin to increase intensity and duration until you find an optimal application method. You can repeat the entire stretch a couple times per workout.

   

  ON FOCUS: Anytime you use isometric stretching you need to focus on the strength gains in the stretched position, not just the range of motion. Concentrate on tensing harder and/or longer. Put more weight on it, for example - support yourself in the position without the use of your hands. If you are doing splits, hold the position with your hands in some cool pose or something, not planted. In time it will result in some excellent gains.

   

  Breathing: It's like lifting heavy weights: Inhale prior to tension - hold during tension to build pressure - exhale when tension is released and stretch is increased - calm and deep breaths in between tensions during relaxations.
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• Isometric front splits [1]This will be a visual recap of applying isometric stretching with both the front and sidesplit stretches. Um. We are starting with the front splits, so get down with one knee in front.
• Isometric   front splits [2]Assume the deep lunge position, make sure your back   leg isn't sweeping too far towards the inside of your body and begin etching   the front foot father and farther out. Take your time to get situated comfortably.
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• Isometric front splits [3]The splits mostly target the hip flexors of the back leg and the hamstrings of the front leg. You can precede the split position by holding the previous deep lunge and this hamstring stretch for a small duration of time prior to entering the split position.
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• Isometric front splits [4]Raise and support yourself in this position, getting ready to lower into the split.
• Isometric front splits [5]Lower down slowly until you find your discomfort point. Let's imagine this is as far as I could go before the discomfort became to great to continue the stretch.
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• Isometric front splits [6]Now, back off slightly from your discomfort zone. This is a more comfortable amplitude. Begin gradually increasing tension of the stretched muscles. Note: FLEX YOUR LEG MUSCLES! Imagine as if your legs are going to sandwich the floor, start to grit and tense up like crazy. TENSE TENSE TENSE TENSE TENSE! And...
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• Isometric front splits [7]Release tension immediately and...
• Isometric front splits [8]Increase the stretch. BINGO! After backing off from the discomfort zone, tensing like crazy, and releasing the tension we immediately increase the stretch and relax.
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• Isometric front splits [9]Repeat this process until you reach your maximal range of motion. At the maximum, tense up for a longer period of time; Such as thirty seconds, a minute, or a little more. When you are done, rise, rest, and repeat if needed. NO RINSING, ISOMETRICS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WASHING HAIR!
• Isometric side splits [1]My favorite method of increasing amplitude in a sidesplit stretch requires the use of a chair. We will be using it to keep our hip alignment in check during the stretch.
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• Isometric side splits [2]WRONG! Do not push your but back.
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• Isometric side splits [3]WRONG! Do not lay forward.
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• Isometric side splits [4]RIGHT! Keep your back upright and your pelvis tilted forward. HIPS FORWARD! Do not let you butt sag back on an upright sidesplit stretch.
• Isometric side splits [5]Notice how the ankles, knees, and hips are in a straight line. Do you understand the correct sidesplit position now? Good.
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• Isometric   side splits [6]Now, continue using the chair if you desire, but for   illustrational purposes I will go back to this view. Maintain the position   we had with our hips right up on the chair with the back upright and ankles,   knees, and hips in a straight line. Just like before, after finding our discomfort   point, we back off and apply tension.
• Isometric side splits [7]Upon releasing tension, we immediately increase the stretch and relax. (I have a bug on my shoulder)
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• Isometric side splits [8]As mentioned, this is the final position and we will be holding a longer tension.

• The relaxed stretching method in detail:

   

  What is left for us in this life after isometric stretching? Well, we have relaxed stretching, another way to develop static passive flexibility. Basically, you just don't tense up when you assume the stretched position. You focus on total relaxation, the complete opposite of tension, as a means of increasing the stretch (Hence the name - relaxed stretching). It isn't as effective as isometric stretching because your strength is not being simultaneously developed or applied, but it does have two advantageous characteristics: You can do them whenever you want without a warmup and they do not fatigue. Also, they are great for days in between isometrics (because you cannot do isometric stretching everyday) and great at the end of your workout for returning muscle lengths to their pre-training lengths to enhance recovery.

• Wait, I have a question! If isometrics are so much better for flexibility development, why even bother using relaxed stretching at all?

   

  Well, I just answered this above Mr. Eggplant, but still a good question for   those who didn't catch it. Isometric stretching is taxing, should be treated   as a form of strength development, and should only be done a couple days a week.   To augment your rate of progression, you can include a variety of relaxed stretches   in between bouts of isometrics. Doing both is the best idea! Besides, not every   static-passive stretch can be applied with the isometric method.

• Guidelines for relaxed stretching

   

  Relaxive stretching should be done as the opposite of isometric stretching. Assume positions that let you relax all your muscles, put as little weight on them as possible. Utilize deep, calm breaths and think about pleasant things... Like me running through a wildflower field naked. Relaxive stretches are slow, so when you reach your painless limit of discomfort, patiently wait and continue thinking about me running through a wildflower field naked. After a while you will slide into a new level of the stretch. It can take several minutes, but when you reach your maximal stretch - hold this position for thirty seconds. You can maintain this position for a few minutes, but this may not provide additional benefit compared to the simple 30 seconds. Now get out of the stretch slowly.

   

  Cool, how often should I do this per day?

   

  Well, as often as you would like. However, following this procedure more than once a day will not likely provide additional benefit.

   

  How about per week?

   

  This is the major drawback of the relaxed stretching method. It takes frequent applications, usually 5-7 days a week to see gains. For the splits, I would work each split ten minutes per day after a warmup, or as long as it takes to reach your maximal painless limit of motion without tension. Once reached, you'll benefit most from a 30 second hold. It takes more time, but it still works.

• Relaxed stretching in your training

   

  Relaxive stretches should be done at the end of a training session if you wish to include them into your workout, but as mentioned - you can do them anytime you want. If isometrics are applied, you should do relaxive stretches AFTER the isometric stretching. If your goal is to increase flexibility, doing them before the final cooldown is recommended. If your goal is simply to relax your muscles and enhance recovery, I would do them following your final cooldown. Always, after finishing relaxive stretches, walk around for a minute or two.

• The expansive index of static stretches!

   

  I DO NOT RECOMMEND: Doing all of these stretches! It's too much, and the excess will not benefit you. The variety is for it's own sake - existing to give you more freedom in finding those preferred exercises for your own benefit. Just pick what you need and do those stretches only. Do not bother to go out and do every one of these stretches.

   

  [ABOUT THE FORMAT] Just going down the list, pick some stretches from each section. The naming schema is based upon what's popular or what muscular regions the stretches are targeting.
• Here is a small list of things you might need:
• Some space!You'll need some space to stretch. Stretching in the confines of your bathroom is not a good idea! So pick a large room or an open field. Word of caution though: If you are stretching bare skinned on a field during summer, chiggers and other malicious pests will annihilate you. Lay on a towel or picnic blanket. Yeah, the demonstration stretches provided here were truly painful. The lying and split stretches -WHEEEW-, my back and inner legs were torn apart; I had the itches and hivey bumps for days! DAMN YOU TINY INSECTS! DAMN YOU!
• Variable structuresSome stretches require a high platform. Bleachers are a good choice for a lot of stretches.
• A wallA wall is perfect for leaning stretches. Most of the time a pole or a pillar like structure can work just as well, but a wall is good.
• Pillar structureSome stretches require you to grasp and pull. An edge of a wall or corner should work great, so do trees, sign posts, etc.
• A chairA lot of the stretches presented here require a seated position. Everybody has a chair, you're most likely sitting in one right now!
• A   stick or rodThere are a lot of stretches you can do with a stick/rod/pipe/etc.   I don't present many here, but it's a useful tool nonetheless. Give it a try.
• Theraband or towelA theraband is just stretchy material, but a towel will do just fine. These are usually used in stretches that require a wrapping of a limb followed by a pull
• Ummm... Here are some things you DO NOT need.
• A stretching machineNo, you do not need a stretching machine. Just consider it's value for a moment. What is the logic behind paying a ton of money for a machine that can only provide one stretch position? The machine will only let you decrease or increase amplitude based on how far you turn the crank, that's not very safe. The machine doesn't even provide correct hip alignment for normal sidesplits. What a waste of money, space, and time! Skip them, they're crap!
• A bicycle helmetYou do not need a bicycle helmet when stretching for obvious reasons.

• Lower body

   

  Feet and ankles
• Plantar arch [1]If you can do this stretch and take care of business on the toilet at the same time, you are one step ahead of everybody else who's ever stretched or used the toilet. Ever. Simply cross one leg and rest it on your opposite knee. Grasp your ankle in one hand, trapping it: Grab the underside of your toes and the ball of your foot with your other hand. Now just pull your toes towards your shins. Feel the stretch on the bottom of your foot. Don't intentionally flex your foot towards your shins, just pull the toes. It can be hard to feel the stretch, but focus on the big toe first to understand the feel then get all the cute piggies to help get that sole cleansed (erh, stretched). This is a rather mild stretch.
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• Plantar arch [2]Wow. Pex. Yes. This stretch is great for those who like to be on all fours and take it up the... Just get your toes underneath you and lower your rear backward and downward. This is another sole stretch, so feel it on the bottom of your feet.
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• Plantar arch [3]For those who can't sit and don't have a wall or support - here we go! Just stand a few steps from the support, bend the knees and raise your rear heel off the floor. Shift your weight onto the ball of that foot by pressing downward, feel the stretch on the bottom of the foot (Plantar's nuts, I mean arch).
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• Plantar   arch [4]NOW! For all of you without something to sit or lean on, we   have a stretch just for you! It doesn't even require you to lean on all fours   and worship the plantar arch god. We have a stretch here that let's us keep   our dignity and job. Just stand with one leg slightly in front of the other   bent. Shift your weight onto the ball of your forward foot and press downward.   Yes, this is for the sole of the foot!
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• Anterior foot and toes [1]Sitting on the can again, or office chair... Cross one leg over the opposite knee, grasp the ankle with one hand and the top of the foot with the other hand. Pull the bottom of your toes towards the ball of your foot. Really press em down and feel the top of your foot go Ah! I'm being stretched. You're welcome Mr.Toppofoot... You are welcome.
• Anterior foot and toes [2]Stand. One leg slightly in front of the other. The tops of the toes touching the ground, shift your weight forward and press downward on top of said toes. Feel the stretch on the top of the foot.
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• Anterior and lateral lower leg [1]You've probably done this one a lot without even thinking about it. Simply turn your feet under so the top outside portion rests on the floor. Turn your ankle upward and press your feet downward. You can also do this one foot at a time for a deeper stretch. Wait... AHHHHH!!! What happened to my pants?! - Nevermind that - AHHHHHH!!! What happened to my leg hair?!!
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• Anterior and lateral lower leg [2]Sit down! On the floor! Bend one knee and rest the sole of that foot on your inner thigh, just relax it. Grab hold of the foot of the extended leg and invert your ankle, pushing the heel out and turning your foot inside. You should feel this stretch the outer portion of your lateral lower leg. Move the foot around at different inside angles to get a greater stretch.
• Anterior and lateral lower leg [3]Just like the stretch we just did, except both legs are stretched at once.
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• Anterior and lateral lower leg [4]Stand about two steps from some type of structure you can lean on, like a wall or pole. Lean over, support yourself on this structure with your hands. Shifting your hips backwards so your upper body forms about a 90 degree angle with your legs, balance on your heels and stretch the outer portions of the lower legs by turning your feet inside. You might have to move around a bit to see exactly where you get the best stretch. This can also stretch the muscles behind the knee.
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• Anterior   and lateral lower leg [5]This stretch is essential for arcade-style   fighting game bouts in front of the big screen television! My brother has   excellent flexibility in his shins only because he sits like this with the   arcade pad in his lap when playing fighting games. To do it, just kneel with   your toes pointing behind you. Sit on your heels and adjust your weight for   maximum shin stretchage! To increase the stretch, grab your toes and pull   them upward. WOW!
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• Achilles Tendon and posterior lower leg [1]This is a pretty cool stretch, it doesn't even look like a stretch! While kneeling, shift one foot slightly forward; Keeping it flat so the whole foot remains in contact with the floor, shift yourself forward so the forward knee goes past the toes of the flat foot.
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• Achilles Tendon and posterior lower leg [2]Place one leg in front of you and the other one nearly underneath you. Keep your rear foot's toes pointing forward, and it's heel firmly planted on the floor. Bend the knee of the rear leg, lowering the hips, shift your weight on top of this leg placing the stretch on the lower leg. I'm holding onto something, but it's not necessarily needed.
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• Achilles Tendon and posterior lower leg [3]I'm sure everybody has done some form of this stretch. Most of the time it's preferred to extend farther out, but I'm presenting it here with the hands closer to the feet. You can modify this stretch by stretching both legs at once or resting on your elbows, but basically you slowly lower your heel or heels to the floor with the stretched leg straight.
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• Achilles Tendon and posterior lower leg [4]Lean forward against a support with one leg bent forward and the opposite leg extended straight. Get your head, neck, pelvis, rear leg, and ankle all into a straight line. Bend your arms and shift your weight forward by leaning into the support. Flex the forward knee and keep the rear leg's toes pointing forward and its heel flat on the floor.
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• Achilles Tendon and posterior lower leg [5]Damn, we've all done this one. So easy. Just stand with the balls of your feet on an edge and lower your heels to the floor. Use something for support if you need to.
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• Behind the knees [1]Sit on the floor and bend the one knee, resting the sole of that foot on your inner thigh. Grab the foot of the extended leg, keeping that leg straight, pull your foot towards the torso. You should feel the stretch directly behind your knee as well as slightly lower. Your heel should rise off the ground a little while your leg remains slabbed on the floor like a giant piece of human meat.
• Hamstrings
• Hamstrings [1]The most popular hamstring stretch and the preferred choice for the lazy slackers who bumble into the gym and start their laughable warmup with static stretching. Sit with one leg straight. The other leg is bent at the knee with the heel resting against the inside of the opposite thigh; This thigh and it's calf should remain lowered to the floor. Keeping the extended leg straight, lower your upper torso onto the thigh. Try reaching for your toes, or smothering your palms on the bottom of the extended foot. Lower that face onto the leg man! Look at how pathetic I am... tsk tsk..
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• Hamstrings [2]Sit DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN! Both legs are spread and extended. Keeping your legs straight, extend your upper back by bending forward at the hips. Lower your chest to the floor. This also stretches the lower back!
• Hamstrings [3]The previous stretch with emphasis on a single side. ISOLAT + ION!
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• Hamstrings [4]A standing variation of the previous stretch. Stand with your legs spread and bend at the hips. Keep your legs straight! Grasp your ankles or feet and pull your chest closer to your legs. You may also choose to stretch on either side, one leg at a time individually for great isolation.
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• Hamstrings [5]The ISOLAT + ION of one side of the previous stretch.
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• Hamstrings [6]A favorite hamstring stretch for contemporary team sport athletes, who also bumble into the gym and start their laughable warmup with static stretching. BAH! Lie on your back with one leg flexed at the knee, its heel near the rear. Extend the leg ready for a stretch, grab it, and pull it towards your face. Keep this leg straight, knee locked. Oh, and keep your other foot flat on the ground.
• Hamstrings   [7]Wipey! Lay down like the lay down dog you are! Wrap the towel or   theraband (or whatever you got) around the instep of the extended leg's foot.   The other leg is straight, resting on the floor. Pull the raised leg towards   your face with the wipey. Keep the leg straight, knee locked, you know the   drill. Hamstring stretch!
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• Hamstrings [8]Well, I here I am. My dignity has been stomped... This is one of the most feminine stretches ever and I'm here demonstrating it *sob*. Sit on the floor with one hand behind your hips for support, the other leg is extended in front of you. Grasp the in-step of the other foot, it's leg bent to begin with. Then extend your leg until it is straight, perpendicular to the floor.
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• Hamstrings [9]Another popular hamstring stretch. A great choice for relaxed stretching during those times you just want to loosen the hams a bit at work by propping your leg on top of anything in sight. Just place the foot on top of something. Keeping both legs straight, bend at the hips and lower your trunk onto your raised thigh.
• Hamstrings [10]Just like the stretch before it, except developed into a martial arts esque split. The only difference is I have slid the rear foot farther back and rotated the base foot towards the outside of my body. It looks pretty cool, no? It's also stretching the adductors and hip flexors of the base leg by the way...
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• Hamstrings [11]A particularly torturous stretch, I find this excellent for developing advanced hamstring flexibility. Stand with your right foot about a foot (30 centimeters) in front of your rear foot. Foot, foot, foot and foot. Foot. Foot. Foot. Foot, foot; Foot and foot, foot. Yeah, now lean forward and bend at the hips, try to touch the floor or your right foot with your hands. Keep both legs super straight! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
• Hamstrings [12]Warning: Weirdo stretch, weirdo stretch! Squat with your feet flat on the floor, then extend one leg while placing your weight on the one left bent. BUTT ON FLOOR. Grasp both ankles with their corresponding hands, then lower your whole upper torso to the extended leg's thigh. This stretch also gets some groin action. Yep, groin action. You betcha. Groin action is great.
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• Hamstrings [13]Another evil stretch, this one hits a lot of areas in just the right way (wrong way for some folks , eiiiyahhh!!!). Extend your legs in front of you while sitting on the floor. Now, keep your legs very straight. Extend your upper back, bend forward at the hips, and lower your trunk onto your thighs to feel the stretch work it's magic. Oh, and yeah it stretches all sorts of little muscles all the way up to the lower back - and it stretches the lower back itself.
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• Hamstrings [14]A standing variation of the previous stretch. Legs together, stand up straight! Now, bend forward at the hips, lower your trunk toward your thighs, and grasp the backs of your ankles. Squeeze your upper torso to your thighs! YEAH! You can also place your hands on the floor. There is another way to enter this stretch too. You would squat with your heels flat, your chest already on your thighs, and your hands down low. Then you would slowly straighten your knees. This is pure evil.
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• Hamstrings   [15]Now we've come to the front splits. Finally... For a slide by slide   pictorial demonstration on how to enter this split, go read the section Isometric   for splits.
• Adductors
• Adductors [1]The butterfly stretch, as it's commonly called. Sit on the ground and bring your heels together. Grasp your feet or ankles and pull them as close to your groin as you can. At this point in the stretch you can either place your elbows on your inner thighs or knees, and push your legs to the floor; Or, you can keep your elbows off your thighs and lean forward. In this picture I am pushing my thighs down with my elbows. If you choose to do it this way keep good posture (back straight up).
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• Adductors   [2]A variation of the butterfly that's floated into Men's health   magazine articles on a number of occasions, announcing it's ability to   make sex greater, boost conception chances, and prevent cancer. Whatever...   Just lie on your back and bend your knees, bring the heels together like on   an upright butterfly and pull your feet towards your rear. Spread your knees   as wide as possible, focus more on bringing the thigh to the ground instead   of the knees alone.
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• Adductors [3]Well, we've reached a dead end. In any case, you'll need a dead end or a wall to do this stretch. This is one of the BEST adductor stretches for relaxed stretching. You can seemingly sit in this stretch all day and be amazed at what gravity and patience can do to your amplitude. So, just lie down on your back with your legs raised up. You want your rear and heels on the wall. Spread your legs apart! YES! You can place your hands on the insides of your knees to increase the stretch manually.
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• Adductors [4]The great revealer of secrets. All details inside. Squat with your feet flat on the ground about a foot apart (30 centimeters). Turn your toes slightly outward and place your elbows on your thighs. Finally, push your legs outward with your elbows and show us your secrets! Note: You can still push out with your elbows and conceal your groin by strategic positioning of your hands. I choose not to, only to piss you off. Females: Hi, what's up?
• Adductors   [5]Similar to the previous stretch, something Spike might like doing   one day on the can. Spread your legs a little wider than hip width apart,   keep your feet flat on the floor. Point your toes outward at and try to form   a 180 degree angle with the heels facing each other. Now, just place your   hands on knees, bend at the hips, and lower your chest toward the floor while   keeping your back flat. Use your hands to push your legs outward and feel   the fun begin.
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• Adductors   [6]Big Dallas once said I looked like a frog sprawled on a dissection   pan when doing this stretch. Someone else took a double take, thinking I was   doing something naughty at first. Nonetheless, this is my favorite pre sidesplit   stretch because it ends up being a straddle split with knees bent. Kneel down,   your toes pointing out to the sides and your elbows resting on the floor;   Spread your knees as far as possible. If you want to try a variation, lower   your chest towards the ground and extend your arms out forward. In any variation,   keep your knees and hips in a straight line, meaning: Keep your butt back.
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• Adductors [7]This is like a martial arts split pre lunge thingy. It's like a forward lunge except it stretches your adductors. How? Spread your feet apart into a front stance. Now just turn your rear foot outwards 90 degrees and lean forward! Keep both feet in line as your press down that right hip. YEAH!
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• Adductors [8]A variation of the previous stretch, except we need something to place our front foot upon. Slide the rear leg backward, the rear foot pointing outward 90 degrees just like before. Keep your balance and put some weight on that rear hip, feeling the stretch in the adductors of the base leg.
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• Adductors   [9]I swear, this stretch just seems odd to me, but it works. Find a   suitable chair, preferably one that doesn't have a digestive tract. Place   one foot on the seat of this non-carnivorous chair, bend at the lower back   and drop your hands to the ground.
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• Adductors [10]HOLY HIGH BRIGHTNESS BATMAN! Well, this is actually a post sidesplit type stretch. It's the toes upward sidesplit. Anyway, just sit down and extend your legs. Then spread them while keeping your torso and toes up. Yeah, I hope you didn't get your hopes up.
• Adductors [11]More information about entering the sidesplit can be found in the Isomteric for splits section. As described earlier: Feet, knees, and hips all in a straight line. Your pelvis is pushed forward and good posture is maintained.
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• Adductors [12]A back view. The toes stay pointing forward throughout the stretch.
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• Adductors [13]In the final position, the soles of the feet are usually flattened on the floor. This is what a final sidesplit should look like.
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• Quadriceps
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• Quadriceps [1]Duhhhhhhh, hello everybody! Lie face down, bend one knee and grab the ankle visiting your rear with the adjacent hand. Pull your heel towards your buttocks and imagine pulling your tailbone between your legs: Meaning your pelvis needs to rotate backwards. However, do not arch your lower back. Your legs should be touching and hips squared! Feel the squeeze in the quad.
• Quadriceps [2]Just like the stretch we previously discussed, except lying on the side with legs touching. Bend your knee back and grasp that ankle! Pull your heel toward your rear: And just as before, no back arching or pelvis twisting; But, still imagine pulling your tailbone between your legs as it rotates backward.
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• Quadriceps   [3]The classic, standing quadriceps stretch. Now, there are two ways   to do this. You can hold onto the foot of the stretching leg with the adjacent   hand or cross and hold with the opposing hand. It's your choice. Personally,   I prefer crossing with the opposing hand. If you hold onto the stretch with   the same side setup, keep your base leg straight, the medial sides of the   legs in contact with each other, and imagine pulling your tailbone between   your legs by pushing your pelvis backward: Without arching the lower back   or twisting the pelvis.
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• Quadriceps [4]Like the previous stretch except with a cross setup. Remember to focus on maximally stretching the quadriceps.
• Quadriceps [5]Neat stretch, if I do say so myself. Just place the top of one foot onto a support structure and start dipping down by bending the support leg. Keep your legs close, rotate the pelvis backwards without twisting it, and don't arch your lower back.
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• Quadriceps [7]Squat down and assume the position. Grab your back foot and pull your heel toward your rear. Maintain parallel alignment between your hips, knees, and feet of both legs. Do not arch the lower back, twist the pelvis, or place excessive weight on the knee resting on the floor. You might need to support yourself with something on this stretch.
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• Quadriceps [8]Kneel with your knees touching each other and the toes pointing backward. Lean backward, supporting yourself with your arms, and squeeze your glutes pushing your hips forward. Do not allow your knees to rise off the floor. Now, as for a small amount of controversy: Is it okay to allow your knees to spread outward? Some say, NO! Others say, SURE! I say, try and see for yourself which you like. I've done it with my knees spread for years - never a problem.
• Quadriceps [9]The advancement of the previous quad stretch. You first lean back on your elbows, then on your back - minimizing back arch. Remember again to keep your knees from rising off the floor, this is more of a problem when the knees are near each other as opposed to when they are spread outward.
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• Quadriceps [10]The final development of the previous two stretches. Keep your knees from rising and try your best to minimize back arch.
• Hips and Glutes
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• Hips and glutes [1]This is the standing front lunge stretch. With your feet shoulder width apart and toes pointing forward, take a deep step forward locking out the back knee. Do not let the front knee go past it's ankle, if this is happening step further out. Drop your weight down slightly and feel the hip flexor of the rear leg stretch as well as the upper thigh of the front leg. Great stretch.
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• Hips and glutes [2]Staple stretch! We have staples in our diet like oatmeal. We have staples in our tricking like the 540 kick. And we have staples in our stretching, like this stretch. This is also part of the pre front splits series of stretches. Bend one knee in the front and the opposite knee behind you on the floor. Roll your back foot under so the top of it rests against the ground. DO NOT let your front knee bend past it's ankle. The front ankle should always form a 90 degree angle with its knee or be further than the knee. Feel the quality of a premium hip stretch!
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• Hips and glutes [3]GREAT GODS OF GLUTES! [3G]Tormentor. Look guys! I'm on a clan! .:.[3G].:.T0rm3nt0r! I'm so 1337! No. No. Please no... Anyway: Lie on your back and bend one knee, pull it across the body to the floor. Keep your elbows, head, and shoulders flat on the floor.
• Hips and glutes [4]Like the previous stretch, except your leg is extended! Remember to keep your elbows, head, and shoulders flat on the floor.
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• Hips and glutes [5]Now we've reached the beginning of the toad series of stretches. A bunch of gnarled up legs. Toad. Lie down on your backside, knees bent, and hands underneath your head. Hook one leg OVER the other, use this same leg that's over the other to force the inside of the bottom leg to the floor. And yeah, keep your elbows, head, and shoulders flat on the floor.
• Hips and glutes [6]DIE! Bend both knees and place one ankle over the other's knee. The leg underneath will push the leg on top of it toward your face. Feel the ass fibers elasticizing! Keep your head, shoulders, and back flat on the floor. Yep.
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• Hips and glutes [7]Lay down and extend your arms to the sides. Keeping your elbows, head, and shoulders firmly flat on the floor: Bend your knees together on one side.
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• Hips and glutes [8]Just like the previous stretch with both legs extended! These stretches will likely stretch your lower torso a bit too.
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• Hips and glutes [9]Sit down and cross one leg over the other. The leg that crosses over - yep - slide it's heel TOWARDS your rear. Now, turn over and place your opposite elbow on the bent knee. Look over your shoulder, turning your trunk and pushing the knee with this renegade elbow!
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• Hips and glutes [10]Just like the previous stretch except the base knee is bent.
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• Hips and glutes [11]DOWN! Bring one leg up bent, pulling it's foot to your opposite shoulder with one hand and keeping the other hand on it's knee. Keep your shoulders and back flat on the floor - you may bring up your head.
• Hips and glutes [12]Just like the previous stretch, except pull the foot down towards the other side instead of the other shoulder. You will likely need to pull much harder on the knee to get the optimal stretch.
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• Hips and glutes [13]This is an upright variation of the previous stretch, so keep the back straight! Hook your knee with the same side elbow and grasp your ankle with the opposing hand. Pull your foot to the opposite shoulder.
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• Hips and glutes [14]This is a standing variation of a previous stretch. Bring one knee straight up, and pull it's foot and the knee itself into your body. Feel the stretch pulling the glute muscles. Hope your balance isn't shoddy.
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• Hips and glutes [15]Cross one knee over the other while sitting on the ground. Now just lean forward without rounding the back. Pretty cool eh?
• Hips and glutes [16]One of my personal favorites. Find a seat and place on leg over the other's knee. Keep the knee on top parallel with the ground and lean forward, resting your weight on the medial part of that leg.
• Hips and glutes [17]TOADRIFIC! Bend one leg so it's foot points to the opposite side. Cross the other leg over the front of this leg, keeping it's foot flat on the floor. Bend your upper torso forward, and try to set your head on the bottom knee.
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• Hips and glutes [18]Place your outer thigh, calf, and ankle on the surface of a structure. Lean forward to stretch if you are distanced from the object.
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• Hips and glutes [19]You can also bend the base leg and approach closer to the platform for a different feel on this stretch
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• Hips and glutes [20]A seated variation of the previous two stretches. It stretches the same. Sit and cross one leg over the other's knee. Push the crossing leg's knee down and bend forward. The leg resting on top should be parallel with the floor.
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• Hips and glutes [21]This is like, zen shit right here. Place both your feet as high as possible on the opposite thighs, turning the soles of your feet upward. The higher you place the feet, the greater the stretch.
• Hips and glutes [22]Stand and cross one leg over the other at the knee. Bend your knees and push your rear out to the side, feeling the stretch in the... rear.. hah! You can also increase the distance the crossing leg adducts as another means of increasing the stretch.
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• Hips   and glutes [23]Like the previous stretch without the cross. Simply   bend the knees slightly and push one glute out to the side until you feel   the stretch. You might have to straighten the knee of the side being stretched.
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• Upper body

   

  Lower torso
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• Lower torso [1]Let's start this with a bang! A COBRA mustang! I mean. Cobra stretch? Lay flat on your belly, place your hands facing forward on the floor by your hips and press down while raising your head and trunk. Arch your back and squeeze the glutes to prevent excessive compression of the lower spine. Oh man, A1 Abdominal stretchage!
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• Lower torso [2]Kneel with your legs slightly apart and parallel to each other. Arch your back while squeezing the glutes and push your hips forward. Slide your hands onto your heels and push it out! This will also stretch your shoulders.
• Lower torso [3]Don't overdo this stretch, please. AMBULANCE! AMBULANCE! AMBULANCE! Spread your feet about three feet apart (a meter) and place your hands on your hips. Squeeze the glutes and push your hips forward as you arch backwards. Slide your hands down as you increase the amplitude of the stretch. WARNING: Again, be careful while performing this stretch - and come out of it slowly!
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• Lower   torso [4]This is like the hamster in the roll ball stretch. Rocking   chair? Half moon? Just lie face down and bend your knees back. Grab a hold   of both ankles with your hands and lift your chest and knees off the floor   while contracting your buttocks muscles. Some yoga practitioners can do this   resting the soles of their feet on their head.
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• Lower torso [5]Beginners bridge: Bridging for dummies. Lie on your back with your heels close to your hips. Set your hands on the floor next to your neck like you are going to do a kip up with your fingers pointing toward your feet. Raise your trunk up and rest your forehead on the floor.
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• Lower torso [6]Just like the bridge previous to this bridge, except you will raise one arm at a time and place your forearms on the floor.
• Lower torso [7]ADVANCED DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS BRIDGE! Same as the previous bridges, except you raise yourself until your wrists are parallel with your shoulders. Push your armpits out, keep your head in, and close the gap between hands and feet while keeping your knees and arms straight.
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• Lower torso [8]MEOW! Kneel like an animal with the toes pointing behind you. Round your back. Feel the OPTIMAL stretch. Yes, OPTIMAL.
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• ower torso [9]Here is an example of a stick stretch! YAY! This stretch works the same as the previous stretch except you will hold onto a stick that is hooked behind your knee.
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• Lower torso [10]The slump in chair stretch. While seated on something extend your torso, bend at the hips, and lower your stomach BETWEEN your thighs.
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• Lower torso [11]This is the most popular stretch for people nearly falling apart. Just lie on your back, grab behind your thighs - NOT IN FRONT - and pull your knees toward your chest and shoulders. Elevate your hips off the floor.
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• Lower torso [12]Raise your legs up in a squat position so your knees almost rest on your forehead. Support the weight of your hips with your hands. This also stretches your neck; However, avoid excessively bending the neck.
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• Lower torso [13]This is cool stuff isn't it! Raise your legs to a vertical position. Support yourself by placing your hands on the lower back. Now, keep the legs straight and spread apart while lowering the feet to the floor. You can also do this with your feet together. Once again, this stretches the neck so avoid crushing it. Oh - and this can stretch the hamstrings too.
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• Lower torso [14]The same as the previous stretch except with the legs together.
• Lower torso [15]Yes, this chair stretch is great for you kids still in school, or you poor peeps with a desk job. Just sit up straight in your chair and turn to one side by use of your hands. Pull your leading elbow into your body. Keep your feet flat on the floor and rear in the seat.
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• Lower torso [16]Side bends, NON DYNAMIC THIS TIME. Just spread your legs, hands behind your head with the ELBOWS BACK, and bend your upper torso to the side from the hip. THIS IS NOT A HAMSTRING STRETCH - stretch your sides. If you have to, keep a very subtle bend in the knees to prevent your hams from getting missiled. You can even sit with your legs crossed if you wish.
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• Lower torso [17]The previous stretch with one arm resting on the adjacent leg and the other reaching over the top.
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• Lower torso [18]Kneel and extend one leg to the side with the toes pointing to the side too. Raise your arms sideways and bend to the extended leg from the hip. The corresponding hand rests on the extended foot and the other hand says Hi, how are you? as it reaches over the ear.
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• Lower torso [19]Pee in your pants. Actually, just bend over with the legs relatively straight and imagine pushing out behind you with the lower back.
• Lower torso [20]GOOD MORNING NEIGHBOR! Stand with your feet slightly apart and interlock your hands overhead. Then drop to one side. Keep your shoulders in contact with your ears while you do this, like a skull sandwich.
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• Upper back
• Upper back [1]OH YOU SNAKE IN THE GRASS! Anyway, kneel on all fours while extending your arms forward. To properly feel the stretch press your elbows and forearms hard against the ground while the chest lowers. It could help to bring your knees closer up.
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• Upper back [2]Easy. Sit and wrap your arms behind your knees, then lean forward and pull back while keeping your arms tight.
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• Upper back [3]A classic lat stretch. Grab hold of a sturdy object below hip height. Take a step back and drop your rear while you hold on. Feel the stretch isolate on one side of the back (lat) and continue to pull. You can even push away with your legs to further increase the intensity of the stretch.
• Neck [1]This is like a tragic crunch! Lie on your back with both knees bent. Place your hands behind your head and pull your chin towards your chest. That's all there is to it!
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• Neck [2]Interlock your hands behind your head and pull forward. Rest your chin on your chest and keep your shoulders depressed.
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• Neck [3]The body boner! Simply extend your legs vertically and support the position by placing your hands on your lower back.
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• Neck [4]It just keeps getting better doesn't it? Well, start in the position from the previous stretch and slowly lower your knees to a resting position beside your head. Bring your chin to your chest by pulling the thighs in with the hands. Your knees and shins should rest on the floor.
• Neck [5]Here's a great stretch for the lateral neck. Get a chair and grasp the edge of the seat with one hand - hold tight. Place your other hand on the opposite side of your head and pull it towards that side. This stretch can also be done standing, although I find it less effective.
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• Neck [6]Place both arms behind the back with one grasping behind the elbow of the other. Now, just lower your head toward the GRASPING arms side. Cool huh? This also stretches the posterior shoulder region. If you are bald, you will look cool doing this stretch.
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• Neck [7]Finally, a stretch for the anterior neck. Just lean your head back and gently pull backward. Great stretch for sword swallowers... And sword swallowing tricksters.
• Neck [8]This stretch is another logic point for those twisting tricks; Because looking over your shoulder is an important part of twisting! Just push the neck to the side... I hope I don't have to tell you to gently push the neck instead of driving it.
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• Pectorals
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• Pectorals   [1]For my first pectoral stretch, I will need a chair from the audience!   Okay, you will need the top of the chair at mid chest level. If your chair   is too high - fix it - or find another stretch. Simply lock your hands together   behind your head and lean back while pulling your arms backwards. This stretch   can be excessively vicious for the back ribs, so consider placing a towel   on the edge or adjust the stretch to avoid this discomfort.
• Pectorals [2]This is the king's chest stretch! Kneel on the floor and interlock your forearms together. Rest them on the seat of the chair with your head dropping below the surface. Let your chest and head sink to the floor.
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• Pectorals [3]Rest your forearm on the edge of a wall, making a 90 degree angle with your elbow and turn. Different regions can be stretched simply by moving the hand up and down the wall (changing the angle). You can also do both arms at once if you have this luxury. This is my personal favorite chest stretch
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• Pectorals [4]Another stick stretch! Grab a stick with the palms facing down spread comfortably apart. Now, raise the stick overhead and behind you while pushing your chest out. EXCELLENT!
• Shoulders
• Shoulders [1]We will start our shoulder stretching quest with the anterior shoulder. For this stretch you will sit and recline on the floor with your palms down about a foot (30 centimeters) behind your hips. Your fingers should point away from your body and your legs should extend pointing forward. Just lean back as far as possible!
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• Shoulders [2]Here's something a little more advanced. It looks like a ramp! Start just like the previous stretch, except instead of sliding out, you will raise your trunk off the floor and open your chest up.
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• Shoulders [3]We will need a wall or structure for this stretch. Stand with your hands behind your back resting on a wall at about shoulder height, your fingers should point upward. Now, bend your legs and feel the stretch!
• Shoulders [4]CHAIR, BENCH, OR OTHER SUPPORT STRUCTURE REQUIRED. This is a milder stretch for the anterior shoulder although adequate strength will be needed to maintain the position. First, support yourself with your body out and your arms locked straight. Then, simply bend the arms while lowering your rear to the floor.
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• Shoulders   [5]Here we have our medial shoulder stretch (deltoids or delts as most   call em). Sit down with both arms straight on the edge of the seat. Your shoulders   and hands need to be rotated to the outside. Now, lean towards one side and   feel your deltoid flatten and pan out. Feel the stretch in the middle of the   shoulder. This stretch is actually difficult to hit right. You should definitely   feel it in the middle, larger part of the shoulder. Try rotating the hands   farther out to see if that helps aid stretching the correct region. NEH!
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• Shoulders [6]Lateral shoulder stretch! LATERAL SHOULDER STRETCH! Okay, bend one arm across to the other shoulder and grasp this arm with the opposite hand. Pull your elbow back to finish! Wow, easy. Actually this stretch can be manipulated many ways, try bending and extending the stretched arm to find the best stretch.
• Shoulders [7]Drunkard shoulder stretch, especially good at ... bars... yep. But we will be using a chair! Rest your forearm in the seat with the elbow bent and lower your head and shoulder to seat level. This also stretches the pectoral.
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• Shoulders [8]Cool, a posterior shoulder stretch. Sit or stand with good posture! Place one arm behind the back at about waist level. Turn your head and rotate your trunk toward the stretched side. Shit, anybody who's tried putting sunscreen or tanning accelerator cream on their back will be familiar with this feeling.
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• Shoulders   [9]Okay, towel, theraband, or some wipey is needed for this stretch.   This stretch was actually THE stretch used to rehabilitate and regain lost   flexibility in a shoulder injury I had January 2004. To say the least, it's   pretty vicious - be careful with it. One arm behind the back, like you are   a ninja drawing a sword from a sheath: This hand holds the towel down for   the other to grasp. The other hand behind your back near your waist level,   grabs this towel. Now, use your cute little fingers to get a good grip and   DRAW THAT SWORD OUT FROM THE SEATH AS FAST AS POSS- NOOOOOOOOOO! Gently pull   up with the top hand, getting the bottom hand as far up as possible.
• Shoulders [10]Our last shoulder stretch will be for the extensors. Raise your hands up and cross one wrist over the other, interlocking the fingers or palms touching. Now, keep the arms straight and pull your elbows back behind your ears.
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• Arms and wrists
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• Arms and wrists [1]Biceps, easy to stretch. Just grab onto the edge of a wall or anything else sturdy and straighten the arm like crazy. If you look away from the stretched arm it will increase the ... stretch! Hah. Try to minimize pectoral stretch.
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• Arms and wrists [2]Grasp onto a stick resting behind your thighs with the palms facing forward. Try to push the stick against the back of the thighs. A better way to do this type of stretch is to hold a barbell in a preacher curl rack in the gym while the weight pulls the biceps.
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• Arms and wrists [3]Entering this stretch is slightly difficult to describe. Just copy what I do, hahaha, and straighten the elbows to stretch the biceps.
• Arms and wrists [4]Time for some tricep stretching! Raise one hand above and bend it behind your head reaching towards the middle back. Grasp your elbow with the other hand and pull the elbow it behind your head. YEEE HAW!
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• Arms and wrists [5]You will need a theraband/towel/wipey thing for this stretch. Hold onto this object and raise this arm above and behind your head, lowering it behind you. Grasp the wipey with your free hand and pull down.
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• Arms and wrists [6]BRACHIORADIALIS STRETCHES! WHOOOOOOOOOOO! Kneel on all fours and place the tops of your hands against the floor, fingers pointing toward your knees. Lean against your bent wrists.
• Arms and wrists [7]Do I really need to describe this? Just push down on the back of one hand with the other!
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• Arms and wrists [8]A wrist flexor stretch, for you my darling... This is stupid easy, I can't believe I'm explaining this. Place the heel of one palm against the tops of the fingers of the other hand. Press the heel of your hand against your fingers. Dahhh... I've sunken to an all time low.
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• Arms and wrists [9]Kneel on all fours. Bend your wrists and place your palms against the floor, fingers pointing forward. Now, simply lean to the front and feel the goodness of the world come upon your wrist flexors.
• Arms and wrists [10]Wow, it got dark again. Turn your arms in so the tops of the wrists touch each other, then curl your fingers and hands up towards the outside.
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• Arms and wrists [11]This is difficult to explain; Turn and grasp a stick with your hands inverted, then bend your elbows and maintain the grip the best you can. Hope that helps.
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• Arms and wrists [12]Kneel on all fours. GOOD GOD - WE ARE MERELY SWITCHING OUR HANDS AROUND! BLASPHEMY! Make your fingers point to your body this time and
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• Arms and wrists [13]AHHHHHHHHH!!! THAT'S IT, I'M TYPING IN CAPS! DOWN! ON ALL FOURS! NOW! BEND YOUR WRISTS WITH HANDS FLAT ON THE FLOOR - THE HEEL OF EACH HAND FACING THE OTHER. NOW LEAN BACKWARD OR FORWARD.

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• During the last few minutes of Game 6 of Boston's second-round series with Cleveland, poor Kevin Garnett looked like Forrest Gump right after Jenny pulled her top down in her dorm room. On one play, the ball swung to KG at the foul line; no Cav was within 10 feet of him. Strangely, he panicked, thinking about shooting an open J before realizing, Wait, I'm seven feet tall, that would be dumb, and barreling toward the basket to rush a clumsy jump hook. For a former MVP who makes $22 million a year, it was an astoundingly incompetent sequence. 
    
   It also wasn't a surprise.
• Garnett's crunch-time woes have been the dirty little secret of this storybook Celtics season. Sure, he saved the franchise and made the C's relevant again. He's also the reason they might not win the 2008 championship. Put simply, Garnett shrinks from pressure more times than he comes through. The NBA is a simple league to figure out: In a playoff series, the best player prevails unless his supporting cast is significantly inferior to the other team's. So when Boston's best player can't dominate close games against a quality opponent … um, that's a problem.
• The intriguing wrinkle with Garnett is he plays differently down the stretch by not playing differently. Selfless and passionate for 48 minutes a game, eight months a year, he can't raise his game because it's already raised. Like Nigel Tufnel's guitar, he's already up to 11.
• Sometimes, when Garnett's adrenaline kicks in during crunch time it's like watching a diabetic in the midst of a sugar rush. His body can't handle it. When he succeeds, he loses his mind, pounding his chest, belting out profanities and hollering at the crowd like a crazy person. When he fails (and it's happened a few times this season), his mistakes are unbelievably amateurish—intentional fouls when the team doesn't need them, taking too many steps on his signature fall-away, that kind of stuff. The pressure gets to him. You can see it. In Game 4 of the first-round series with Atlanta, after a near-altercation with Zaza Pachulia, the camera found KG on the bench and he was practically hyperventilating.
• Now, Garnett isn't the only NBA star who has struggled in big moments. Wilt was famous for it. The Mailman choked so many times I once wrote, "You know you're watching ESPN Classic if it's 2 a.m. and Karl Malone looks like he's about to throw up." David Robinson was an extremely nice guy who played like one in big games. 
    
   C-Webb passed the basketball like it was a hand grenade in the clutch. Clyde Drexler always seemed like he'd just downed too much caffeine. Even one of my favorite Celtics, Kevin McHale, got the yips. In Game 2 of the 1984 Finals, his legs shook after he missed that free throw before Gerald Henderson's famous steal. 
    
   The list of guys who came up short is as endless as the one of those who repeatedly came through in the clutch (Michael Jordan, Sam Jones, Reggie Miller, Dennis Johnson, Robert Horry, Larry Legend … ). The question is, how do you end up on one list or the other? What makes for clutch? Is it part of your DNA, or something that's honed through experience and repetition?
• Here's my answer: It's both. One of the most fascinating things about Jordan's career wasn't that he nailed the title-winning shot against Georgetown as a freshman, but that Dean Smith called the play for him. If someone is born with ice water in his veins, you know it. Smith knew it. Then again, get enough reps with anything in life, and you're more likely to succeed. Trying not to sound nervous when I started to do TV and radio a few years ago, I'd overthink and make myself nervous, battling a rush of adrenaline right before my segment started. I've learned to channel that energy now—I can speak in front of large crowds and everything. Why? Because I got my reps.
• How far can experience actually get you in matters of clutchness? After Garnett jumped from high school to the NBA, he played eight years without ever getting past the first round. Fellow high schooler Kobe Bryant landed on a talented Lakers team, failing famously as a rookie (remember his hideous air balls that ended the series against the Jazz in 1997?), then getting swept by the '98 Jazz and '99 Spurs. Name me one memorable Kobe moment from his first three springs. You can't. But 28 meaningful playoff games provided him with valuable pressurized situations. By the time the 2000 postseason rolled around, Kobe was asserting himself, capping it off with an MJ moment in Game 4 of the Finals for a championship team.
• By contrast, poor Garnett was trapped on lousy and half-decent teams until 2004, when he carried the Timberwolves to the Western Conference finals, submitting an ESPN Classic game of his own against the Kings (32 points, 21 rebounds in Game 7) in the second round. But just when it seemed as if he was getting the hang of clutch, Minnesota imploded, missing the playoffs in its next three seasons with KG. Now he's slightly past his prime. Can you blame him for not being clutch when he never got those reps in his formative years? Probably not. Think of his career like a video game: Spend a ton of time playing Grand Theft Auto, and you're much more likely to complete a mission than some guy who doesn't own a PS3, right?
• Fair or unfair, Garnett will always be measured against Tim Duncan, who has already carried the Spurs to four titles. It's easy to forget now that TD had his own blips and stumbles along the way, or that he played in 71 playoff games before famously demolishing the Nets with a 21/20/10 line in the clincher of the 2003 Finals. Wired very much like Garnett—completely selfless, phenomenally competitive, thoughtful as a teammate—Duncan learned to channel his intensity, saving peak performances for when they mattered most. He figured out that there was a crucial difference between a ho-hum January game in Atlanta and a must-win playoff game in LA. He's clearly developed a reliable mental alert: All right, unless I grab 20 rebounds tonight, we're going to lose. Or: If I don't take over this game right now and score every time down the floor, we're cooked. 
    
   Bill Russell had that switch. So did MJ, Bird and Magic.

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