tetyana tt's List: society

• Prior to visiting Ukraine or any other foreign country, it is suggested that you learn some basic rules of etiquette used in the country you plan to go. Our simple recommendations will help you avoid some uncertainty you might have under certain conditions when in Ukraine.  

  Visiting someone in Ukraine it is advisable to bring a gift with you. It need not be expensive at all. Even a bottle of wine or chocolate would be a good choice. If you want to bring flowers, do not forget that even number of flowers is intolerable. If you go for a date, flowers are indeed required.  

  Ukrainians do not wear shoes in their home. So upon entering someone's home, be prepared to leave your footwear. As a rule, you will be offered a pair of home slippers.  

  If you are planning to go to Kiev's nightclubs, casinos and some other places, be prepared that your bag or coat could be checked for security purposes.  

  Ukrainians people are rather superstitious about doing some things. Shaking hands right over the threshold or whistling in-doors, for example, is usually considered bad luck.  

  When you go for a date with a women remember the following. Not to offer one's hand to a woman out of transport is considered a bad manner. Do not forget to offer a woman's coat upon leaving a theatre or restaurant.  

  Upon entering a Ukrainian church men should not forget to take off their hats.   

• When visiting Ukraine, there are a few simple rules of etiquette that may be  useful-if invited into a family home, it is traditional to bring a gift. A  bottle of wine, a cake, or a bouquet of flowers are customary. If there is a  child in the house, it is appropriate to provide him/her with a small gift. If you bring flowers, make sure the number of flowers is uneven. Do not shake hands across the thresh old of a door. It is considered bad luck. When shaking hands, take off your gloves. Be prepared to remove your shoes upon  entering a home. To keep apartments clean, most hosts will provide you with a pair of slippers. - On public transportation, give up your  seat to mothers with children, the elderly, or the infirm.  At the entrance of upscale restaurants, expect that your coat, briefcase,  or baggage will be checked.  Be sure to have business cards printed in  Ukrainian/Russian on one side and English on the other. When eating dinner at someone's home, casual dress is accepted.  Be ready to give toasts at dinner, for guests are often asked to do so. Offer to share your snacks and cigarettes with those around you. - Be prepared  to accept all food and drink offered you when visiting friends. Ukrainians are  known for their generosity when it comes to feeding others.  Turning down food may be considered rude.   For business, dress should be conservative. Men should not take off their  jackets unless asked.  In Orthodox churches women wear scarfs or hats, and  men take off their hats. Be careful when complimenting a host's belongings, they  may offer it to you

• On average Ukrainians' personal space is smaller than in Germanic and Anglo-saxon cultures. Some people touch each other quite a bit during conversations if they are standing. Greeting women with a kiss on the cheek is common. On the gesticulation scale Ukrainians are more subdued than southern Europeans but more animate than Scandinavians. Gestures tend to be smaller—no American arm-flapping here! Also, smiling is usually reserved for friends. Stiffness and formality is the rule during public speaking. Hollywood has always exaggerated this trait when portraying Soviet leaders.
• Ukrainians in public tend to demonstrate restraint and avoid attracting attention to themselves. In small towns where everyone knows each other this is less noticeable. Ukrainians usually speak quietly in the presence of strangers. Loud foreigners who are oblivious to their surroundings always draw smiles. 

  Despite the concern with standing out, in Ukraine it is more customary to show negative emotions in public than in western countries that are obsessed with always being positive. Strangers bond by sharing indignation (about packed public transportation, for example) or by making sarcastic remarks. Drivers yell at each other freely. Don't let this rudeness and indifference fool you, however. Ukrainians tend to be warmer in their personal relationships than is typical of most western countries.
• The word "friend" in Ukrainian or Russian implies a closer relationship than in most other European languages. One has one or two "friends" and many "acquaintances"—quite the opposite of the U.S., where many people have dozens of "friends" but often have no really close friends. In Ukraine, it seems, such aloofness is unheard of. The tendency to form informal relationships easily is part of the national character. 

  Many foreigners note that it is easier to form friendships and relationships in Ukraine. In the U.S., for example, it is easy to get an invitation to do things like play volleyball, go see a movie, go waterskiing, etc., but hard to become someone's friend. In Ukraine people will get together to talk about things that are important to them personally. Westerners often find their emotional needs are met better in Ukraine.

   

  At the same time, clubs and hobby groups and other "collectives" in Ukraine tend to become closed to the outside world because of their emotional attachments and informal relationships. I have seen biking clubs who seem to enjoy hanging out together more than biking and mountaineering clubs with complex rituals and traditions that have nothing to do with mountain climbing. In Ukraine it may be harder to keep focused on one's individual goals because of this emotional collectivism.
• Westerners note that gender roles in Ukraine tend to be more traditional. Not only do men open doors for women and gallantly hold their hand as they step out of the bus, but women tend to dress more femininely and accentuate their attractiveness more than in most western countries. During courtship men tend to be more romantic, bringing flowers and gifts (and footing the bills during dates), and women try to look especially elegant. Sometimes the contrast between stunningly attractive women and their shodilly dressed, poor-postured boyfriends is remarkable. There are definitely double standards of grooming in Ukraine.
• The stereotype is that the wife does the cooking and cleaning, while the husband takes care of repairs. When guests come over the wife heads to the kitchen to prepare food, even if it is her own birthday party. Husbands tend to be either workaholics or "lazy bums" that often suffer from apathy and alcoholism. These stereotypes are more true of older generations and smaller towns and villages.
• Dress tends to be more formal in Ukraine than in the rest of Europe. Young men walk around in black dress shoes and dark pants, and women wear high heels and skirts (not all, of course). Clothing is intended to create a necessary appearance, and not be comfortable and practical. Colorful casual dress that has been the norm in western Europe and the U.S. for years is just beginning to gain popularity. Just a few years ago all the men in Ukraine wore black, but now the color scheme has differentiated a bit (at least in the big cities).
• tandards of grooming and hygiene can differ widely from culture to culture. Arab men in Ukraine, for example, almost always have a slick, preened appearance. Americans are known worldwide for their straight white teeth and "Hollywood smile," as well as for obesity among young people. Other cultures are known for their lower standards of hygiene. In Ukraine there is a sort of double standard. Women (especially young women) tend to dress and groom carefully, while men often are careless about their appearance. While hygiene seems to be generally improving, decaying teeth and bad odors are not at all uncommon. Smoking is extremely prevalent in public places. Dental floss is not yet widely used, and dental care standards lag behind the West. Many older folks bathe just once a week. However, hygiene among working professionals is comparable to developed countries. 

  Despite somewhat lower levels of hygiene, Ukrainians are more discreet about bodily functions than, say, in the United States. While belching and farting loudly in public not be totally typical of the U.S., movies such as Dumb and Dumber and the Naked Gun series demonstrate that bodily functions are a topic of joking and discussion. Not so in Ukraine. Passing gas and burping are considered shameful, and people do not discuss their bodily functions with others. However, ironically, spitting and blowing your nose onto the sidewalk or grass is normal in most cities of Ukraine.

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• The ancient tradition of offering a guest bread and salt dates back many centuries. Bread and salt were once considered necessary ingredients for health in daily consumption. Guests in Ukraine are offered a circular bread (klib) and a mold of salt (sil) on an embroidered ceremonial cloth called a rushnyk (pronounced roosh-nick) by their hosts. The hosts greet their visitors with a humble and heartfelt greeting - "With this bread and salt we greet you. We invite you to preserve the Ukrainian culinary arts, by teaching and passing on these traditions to your loved ones - Welcome - Vitayemo!"

   When offered to a guest, the protocol requires the guest to accept the bread and salt in their hands while bowing their head slightly in thanks, kissing it, and then handing it back to their hosts. Often a small piece of the bread is broken off by the guest, dipped in the salt and then eaten. If it is part of a family gathering the bread may be eaten, put aside to be eaten later or taken to one's home.

   The bread represents hospitality, the warmth of Ukrainian hospitality from the rich black fertile soil of Ukraine. The salt symbolizes friendship, an eternal friendship that will never sour because salt is never corrupted by time therefore, never loses its taste.

• Visiting   Orthodox Churches
    When visiting orthodox churches, women should wear   scarves over their heads (sometimes provided). Men   should take off their hats. Both sexes should not   wear shorts or sleeveless shirts.

• Etiquette
    When greeting, relatives and close friends often kiss   cheeks. Ukrainians address each other by first name.   A respectful form of address is using the first name   followed by the patronymic, which is the person's   father's first name with a gender specific suffix.   When you ask a Ukrainian their name, they will often   give their first name and patronymic only.

   

  Ukrainians   are uncomfortable by constant eye-contact. Facial   expressions are reserved. Ukrainians rarely smile   at strangers. North Americans will be surprised at   how "unhappy" Ukrainians first appear. In   Ukraine, it is considered dishonest to appear happy   when you are not, whereas in North America it is considered   polite. Ukrainians tend to say thank you and excuse   me less than North Americans. If a person bumps into   a stranger accidentally they will usually not acknowledging   it by saying "excuse me" or "sorry".   Cutting in line/queues is also very common.

   

  When Russian   men engage in conversation, the distance between the   two is typically about ten inches, well within a North   Americans comfort zone.

   

  When women   chat they frequently touch each other on the hand   or arm, even embracing from time to time during the   conversation.

   

  Chivalry   is still important in Ukraine. Women expect men to   open doors, take their coats, carry heavy items, and   help them from buses and route taxis. It is such an   expected part of the culture that women rarely say   thank you.
• • Take   off your gloves before shaking hands
   
• • Odessites   are fiercely proud of their gorgeous city. Odessa   was the first city in Russia to celebrate a city   birthday. Odessites have always been Odessites first   and Ukrainians, Soviets, or Russians second.
   
  • If a   person is drunk, wants to drink, or wants to suggest   drinking, they click their thumb and first finger   under their neck.
   
  •  People, >    especially women, have an aversion to sitting on >    cold surfaces, feeling that it is unhealthy. >
   
  • Older   Ukrainians often will not open a window for fear   of a draft
   
  • You   will quickly notice that the majority of people   do not wear watches, and if you wear a watch, annoyingly   you will often be asked you the time.
   
  • Many   Odessites have dogs, and they often care less were   the dog uses the bathroom. Some Odessites own huge   dogs that live with them in tiny a one or two apartment.
   
  • Frustratingly,   in many businesses, often only one door is unlocked   if there is more than one door.
• People,   especially women, have an aversion to sitting on   cold surfaces, feeling that it is unhealthy.

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  - tetyana tt on 2007-12-02

• <td valign="top"><table cellpadding="0" width="147" border="0" cellspacing="0"><tbody><tr><td><br><br/> &lt;!--for login --><br/> </td><br/> </tr><br/> </tbody></table> <br/></td><br/> <td lightwords="" id="_contLight"><br/> <table cellpadding="0" width="100%" border="0" valign="top" cellspacing="0"><br/> <tbody><tr><br/> <td colspan="3"><img src="http://www.ukraineinfo.org/data/img/main/1x1.gif" width="1" height="1"></td><br/> </tr><br/> <tr><br/> <td><img src="http://www.ukraineinfo.org/data/img/main/1x1.gif" width="1" height="1"></td><br/> <td id="subtitleblock" class="TitleinBox" nowrap="nowrap">Mentality</td><br/> <td><img src="http://www.ukraineinfo.org/data/img/main/1x1.gif" width="1" height="1"></td><br/> <td width="100%" align="right" valign="bottom"><br/> <table cellpadding="0" border="0" cellspacing="0"><br/> <tbody><tr><td class="TitleinBox" width="146"><img src="http://www.ukraineinfo.org/data/img/main/1x1.gif" width="13" height="1">Announcements</td><br/> </tr><br/> </tbody></table><br/> </td><br/> </tr><br/> <tr><br/> <td colspan="3"><img src="http://www.ukraineinfo.org/data/img/main/1x1.gif" width="1" height="2"></td><br/> <td align="right" valign="bottom"><br/> <table cellpadding="0" border="0" cellspacing="0"><br/> <tbody><tr><br/> <td><img src="http://www.ukraineinfo.org/data/img/main/1x1.gif" width="100" height="3"></td><br/> <td><img src="http://www.ukraineinfo.org/data/img/main/1x1.gif" width="47" height="1"></td> <br/> </tr><br/> </tbody></table><br/><br/> </td><br/> </tr><br/> <tr><br/> <td colspan="3"><img src="http://www.ukraineinfo.org/data/img/main/1x1.gif" width="1" height="1"></td><br/> <td width="100%" valign="bottom"><br/> <table cellpadding="0" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0"><br/> <tbody><tr><br/> <td width="100%"><img src="http://www.ukraineinfo.org/data/img/main/1x1.gif" width="100" height="1"></td><br/> <td><img src="http://www.ukraineinfo.org/data/img/main/1x1.gif" width="146" height="1"></td> <br/> </tr><br/> </tbody></table><br/> </td><br/> </tr><br/> </tbody></table><br/> <table cellpadding="0" width="100%" height="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0"><br/> <tbody><tr><br/> <td width="100%" valign="top"><table cellpadding="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0"><br/><tbody><tr><br/><td style="padding: 10px 20px 10px 0px;" id="mrk_publication_391"><br/><table cellpadding="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0"><br/><tbody><tr><td align="right"><br/><a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.ukraineinfo.org/#"><img title="Print" src="http://www.ukraineinfo.org/data/img/main/print.gif" width="12" height="10" border="0"></a><br/></td></tr></tbody></table><br/><br/><br/><span class="content"><table bordercolor="#ffffff" cellpadding="0" bgcolor="#ffffff" border="0" cellspacing="0"><br/><tbody><br/><tr bgcolor="white" valign="top"><br/><td><br/><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; line-height: 150%;" class="MsoNormal" align="justify"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: Arial;" lang="EN-US">Mentality of the Ukrainian people had been formed affected by complex historical circumstances with the principal role played by the fact of<span style="">&nbsp; </span>the country’s ‘bordering’, that is, due to its territory located on the intersection of historical routes from the East to the West and from the North to the South. This reality stipulated a phantasmal interlacing in the worldview of a Ukrainian of the Western mentality (that is, active and rationalistic, individualistic and mundane) with that of the East (in other words, passively contemplative and directed at abstract matters). Thus, for instance, as a westerner, the present-day Ukrainian values highly the achievements of science and technology, but he believes strongly that they are used for humanitarian purposes.<o:p></o:p></span></p><br/><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; line-height: 150%;" class="MsoNormal" align="justify"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: Arial;" lang="EN-US"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></p><br/><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; line-height: 150%;" class="MsoNormal" align="justify"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: Arial;" lang="EN-US">Without stopping to think rationally, Ukrainian gives great priority to showing emotions and feelings, sometimes even seen as sentimental or even too lyrical. In particular, the phenomenon is reflected in the folk vocabulary where endearment forms are often present even for negative characters (e.g., vorizhenky (pretty foes)).<o:p></o:p></span></p><br/><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; line-height: 150%;" class="MsoNormal" align="justify"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: Arial;" lang="EN-US"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></p><br/><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; line-height: 150%;" class="MsoNormal" align="justify"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: Arial;" lang="EN-US">Side by side with lyricism, there is certain Ukrainian ‘detachment’ from the world and orientation at some truth of higher order. Thus, if forced to emigrate, it is often hard for Ukrainian to adjust to a new environment.<o:p></o:p></span></p><br/><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; line-height: 150%;" class="MsoNormal" align="justify"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: Arial;" lang="EN-US"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></p><br/><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; line-height: 150%;" class="MsoNormal" align="justify"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: Arial;" lang="EN-US"><br/>Ukrainian is tied very much to his family where he attempts to build strong and very close relationship. To care is characteristic for his mentality. As a rule, Ukrainians surround their kin with care of the motherhood sort giving support to their children until they reach maturity, and often also from then on. To some extent, such amicable relationship is also defined by the historical past:<br/>><span style="">&nbsp; </span><br/>wars virtually never ceased on the territory located on the crossroads of the Western and Eastern worlds. The land suffered from predatory raids, and it was dangerous to live here: those in power changed often, and to survive intact was only possible within the circle of close relations.<br/>><o:p></o:p></span></p><br/><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; line-height: 150%;" class="MsoNormal" align="justify"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: Arial;" lang="EN-US"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></p><br/><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; line-height: 150%;" class="MsoNormal" align="justify"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: Arial;" lang="EN-US">For quite a long time the society was divided into those who fed (peasantry) this land and those who defended it (Cossacks). This entailed two almost opposite forms of consciousness. The first is of a defender and fighter reckless, irrepressible and adventurous that is easily overcome by strong feeling and emotion resulted from a youth’s brawl and capable of affective, rash and heroic actions. It is as such they appear in the Shevchenko’s Kobzar and are depicted by the Ukrainian and Polish romanticists.<o:p></o:p></span></p><br/><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; line-height: 150%;" class="MsoNormal" align="justify"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: Arial;" lang="EN-US"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></p><br/><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; line-height: 150%;" class="MsoNormal" align="justify"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: Arial;" lang="EN-US">The other type of consciousness was marked by moderateness and peaceableness that permitted “to wait through” the numerous adversities and misfortunes of the historical fate. Such type of consciousness was the cause of insularity and defensive position against the world around, circumspection and directing mental powers inward upon oneself. The countryside habit of replying with a question is one of the traits of the style that allows avoiding contact.<o:p></o:p></span></p><br/><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; line-height: 150%;" class="MsoNormal" align="justify"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: Arial;" lang="EN-US"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></p><br/><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; line-height: 150%;" class="MsoNormal" align="justify"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: Arial;" lang="EN-US">The exclusive advantage of the class country folk during certain periods of the Ukrainian history affected the nationals’ mentality, however positively too: ruralism that makes one more dependent on the nature than on other people stirs up deep empathy with the nature and makes for restraint, elegiac, tender and introversive moods. These features also favored preservation of family and clan groups, goodwill and friendliness.<o:p></o:p></span></p><br/><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; line-height: 150%;" class="MsoNormal" align="justify"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: Arial;" lang="EN-US"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></p><br/><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; line-height: 150%;" class="MsoNormal" align="justify"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: Arial;" lang="EN-US">At the same time, such positive features as diligence, hospitality, yearning for education, sound optimism, manliness, universalism, and development of strong family ties are peculiar to Ukrainians.<o:p></o:p></span></p><br/><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; line-height: 150%;" class="MsoNormal" align="justify"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: Arial;" lang="EN-US"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></p><br/><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; line-height: 150%;" class="MsoNormal" align="justify"><span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: Arial;" lang="EN-US"><br/>For a Ukrainian family the dominating role of a woman, especially of a mother, is traditionally intrinsic. When husband dies, the wife advances to the forefront to b<br/>></span></p></td></tr></tbody></table></span></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td>
• Ukrainian is tied very much to his family where he attempts to build strong and very close relationship. To care is characteristic for his mentality. As a rule, Ukrainians surround their kin with care of the motherhood sort giving support to their children until they reach maturity, and often also from then on. To some extent, such amicable relationship is also defined by the historical past:  wars virtually never ceased on the territory located on the crossroads of the Western and Eastern worlds. The land suffered from predatory raids, and it was dangerous to live here: those in power changed often, and to survive intact was only possible within the circle of close relations.
• For a Ukrainian family the dominating role of a woman, especially of a mother, is traditionally intrinsic. When husband dies, the wife advances to the forefront to become the head of a family even if remarried. The image of a widowing mother – sober-minded, kind, and at the same time rigorous, is depicted in classic literature. Ukrainian woman used to participate in all the family issues not only after her husband expired but during his life as well. “Husband holds the household by one corner with the remaining three left for his wife,” the popular saying goes. In ancient times, during the patriarchal society in Europe admissible was for a girl to seek marriage with a boy.

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• il est mal élevé de montrer une personne du doigt.