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johnscottdev 's List: Bicarbonate Johnnyimport from google notebook

  • Burps "impatiently" and "succintly" and chews "soda mints" for his chronic heart burn. 

    • The Defective Detectives:
      Handicapped Heroes

      What is it about handicapped heroes? (Oops! I mean physically-challenged, I guess).

      Originally springing from the pages of the weird menace pulpsof the thirties, such as Strange Detective Mysteries, DetectiveMystery Magazine and especially Dime Mystery Magazine,this bizarre sub-sub-genre has had a long, if not always glorioustradition. You can read all about it in the highly-recommended(if you can find it) TheDefective Detective in the Pulps, a 1983 anthology editedby Ray Browne and Gary Hoppenstand, and its 1985 sequel, MoreTales of the Defective Detective in the Pulps.

      • Inspector Allhoff
        Created by D.L. Champion

        Notquite a P.I., not quite a real cop, INSPECTOR ALLHOFF isactually a member, albeit unofficially, of the NYPD. He worksout of a cockroach-infested dump, across the street from headquarters,swilling coffee, refusing to leave the apartment. And he'd preferit that way. He'd rather work independently of the department,ever since he lost his legs while leading a botched police raid.

        Rather than lose a brilliant, if arrogant, detective, the commissionerhas set up Allhoff as kind of free-roving, unofficial homicideinspector, and assigned him two other policemen to do his legwork.And there's the rub: one of the officers assigned to Allhoff isthe rookie responsible for the screwed-up raid. Allhoff, bitter,possibly no longer even stable, delights in tormenting young Battersly,who's already wracked with guilt. And the other officer, an olderman, Simmonds, riding out his pension, is forced to bear witnessto Allhoff's nasty psychological warfare.

        What seems at first glance to be a variation on NeroWolfe turns out to be an amazing character study of possiblythe world's first "sadomasochistic detective team."There were twenty-nine stories in the seris in all, regularlypublished in the pages of Dime Detective from about 1938until 1946, and despite the rather disturbing relationship betweenthe lead characters, the stories are a blast to read, and someof them are a downright hoot.

        Another great part of the fun is that many of the Allhoff storieshad him solving that rarest of pulp mag crimes: the locked-roommurder. Although a staple of classic, more "traditional"detective fiction, it was a gag rarely used in the pulps. Thetorrid production pace required of the writer's left little roomfor the tight, intricate plots and fairly-presented clues demandedof this form. Yet, story after story, Champion managed to pullit off, a further testament to his skill.

        Author Champion was born in Australia and educated in New York.He served with the British Army in World War I, worked in themerchant marine, and read copy for a slew of magazines, beforeturning to writing himself. He was also the creator of eccentricskinflint private eye Rex Sacklerand Mexican detectivo particular MarianoMercado.

        UNDER OATH

        • "These Inspector Allhoff stories are great detective yarns, mostly developed via lively dialogue between Allhoff and his colleagues, and told in the first person by one of the colleagues. They'll keep you reading and surprise you with unexpected endings."
          (Hugh B. Cave, creator of Peter Kane)


        • "Footprints on a Brain" (July 1938, Dime Detective)
        • "A Leg on Murder" (November 1942, Dime Detective)
        • "Thanks for the Ration Card" (June 1943, Dime Detective)
        • "The Day Nobody Died"
        • "I'll Be Glad When You're Dead"
        • "Cover The Corpse's Eyes"
        • "Dead And Dumb"
        • "A Corpse For Chirstmas"
        • "Sergeants Should Never Sleep"
        • "Turn In Your Badge!"
        • "There Was A Crooked Man"
        • "Suicide In Blue"
        • "The 10:30 to Sing Sing"
        • "Coffee For A Killer"
        • "The Corpse That Wasn't There"


        • Footprints on a Brain: The Inspector Allhoff Stories (2001)

        LAST WORD

        • "Ah," said Allhoff, who always got the last word, "are you telling me I haven't got a leg to stand on?"

        Report respectfully submitted by Kevin Burton Smith.

        | Table of Contents | Detectives A-L M-Z | Film | Radio | Television | Comics | FAQs |

  • Mention the other "defective detectives", like Calvin Kane the "Crab Detective". 

    • Calvin Kane
      Created by Russell Gray (pseud. ofBruno Fischer)

      CALVIN KANE was a pulp-era private eye whose "severelydeformed body made him look like a refugee from a side-show attraction,"according to Don hutchison, pulp historian. This "defectivedetective," with his withered and useless right leg,and twisted and deformed body, was forced to crawl along the floor,using his extremely powerful arms, thus earning him the nicknameof "The Crab Detective." According to another pulp expert,Robert Jones, the Kane series was "simply too grotesque tolast." A toned-down version of Kane was Gray's second pulpeye, polio victim Ben Bryn, whowas evidently easier for readers to take. Kane, and later Bryn,were regulars in Dime Mystery.

      Author Russell Gray (a pseudonym of Bruno Fischer) was oneof the more prolific popular writers of the genre, starting outin the weird menace pulps back in the thirties, and eventuallymoving into the paperback market of the fifties, where he wrotetons of great stand-alones, as well as several novels featuringdetectives Ben Helm and RickTrain.

  • N.B. - Read some of Bellem's stuff. 

    • Claw of the Kidnapped Idol
      [7 pages, 437K]
      Marcus Lyons
      Crack Detective Stories December 1947
      Bicarbonate Johnny
      Bicarbonate Johnny didn't have to believe in the super-natural to know that this idol was deadly - both to the persons who stole it and whoever tried to get it back. [2007-08-18]
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