Jlitven's List: Relationships

• A hat, jewellery, a tie, a striking shirt; whatever! Never underestimate the power of a little peakcocking. Separate yourself from the herd and women will respond.
• Buy a local SIM card. It’s cheaper and girls will be more inclined to text you. Having a phone more than doubles your chances of hooking up.
• It sounds corny, but this works wonders. A candle and some incense can turn that $3 shit hole into a Romantic oasis.
• Make a sexy playlist. Start it off nice and slow and customise it to your style.
• Massage oil also doubles as a lube for all you cheeky sodomites.

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• Step 1: Re-learn the basics of human psychology
• Richard Dawkins’ The Selfish Gene.
• David Buss’s Evolutionary Psychology Matt Ridley’s The Red Queen, and Barkow, Tooby and Cosmides’ The Adapted Mind.
• Robert Wright’s The Moral Animal
• Sperm Wars by Robin Baker and The Evolution of Desire by David Buss.
• Stephen Pinker’s excellent The Blank Slate on day four and read that along with E.O. Wilson’s canonical Sociobiology. Finish the evening with a glass of wine and Robert Green’s The Art of Seduction
• Step 2: Learn the Skills
• On Day 5, start with the Fast Seduction Player Guide and The Mystery Method. Also grab a copy of The Game for some history.
• Step 3: Apply the Skills
• - Go to a crowded bar, find the hottest girl there, and have sex with her.
   - Have a threesome
   - Find an amazing girl, fall hard for her, and teach her to be happy with your love without a need for monogamy

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• The (much-simplified) idea is thus: there exists a semi-formal male hierarchy within primate cultures based on strength/fitness/power. The strongest/fittest/most-powerful is the “Alpha” and then you have second-place, third-place and so on. The lower apes on the hierarchy are “Betas.” The hierarchy functions rather simply: whoever you’re above on the hierarchy, you can tell them what to do, what to eat and what to fuck. Whoever is above you on the hierarchy tells you what to do, what to eat and who to fuck. The Alpha tells everyone what to do, what to eat and who to fuck. The lowest Beta tells no one.

• For instance, is cheating on the mother of your children with your super hot secretary Being Alpha? Is sleeping with 100 hot girls because you’re still not over your ex Being Alpha? Is barging into some guy’s birthday party and stealing his booze Being Alpha?

   

  No, it’s being an Overcompensating Dick.
• The idea is that women are indelibly attracted and drawn to Alpha’s and repelled by Beta’s, regardless of circumstance, situation, personality, conscience, morals, or preferences. This is simply not true at all.
• Emotionally speaking, women may be the most complicated creatures on the entire planet. To claim their motivations exist solely to chase some ephemeral notion of The Alpha sells them (and us) way short. It leads to a dark and narrow and lonely purview of human sexuality. It’s a sad place to be.
• If science has shown us one thing, it’s that the desires and attractions of women are, believe it or not, even more complicated than we originally thought.
• Genuine emotional connection, by definition, requires one to experience and relate to the drives, motivations and will of a woman. This is simply impossible if you’re enmeshed in a self-serving and social-bulldozing mindset.

• A new-definition Alpha Male has complete control over his boundaries, so if he CHOOSES to act selflessly, to act compassionately, to sacrifice himself, or even to take a backseat and let others shine, he can. That’s the mark of the True Alpha Male, the man who has utter control over his boundaries and how he enmeshes himself into any social situation. He feels no NEED to overcompensate or to dominate or to intimidate, although he CAN if he wishes. He feels no NEED to sacrifice or lay down for anyone, but if the appropriate situation arises, he can do that if he wishes as well.

   

  And most of all, he recognizes that women are unique and their desires and needs are complex, shifting and changing with the place, time and the even moons. He recognizes that not every woman will always be attracted to who he is or how he represents himself…

   

  …and that’s fine.

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• 1. The Relationship Scorecard
• Not only are you deflecting the current issue itself, but you’re ginning up guilt and bitterness from the past to manipulate your partner into feeling wrong in the present.
• 2. Dropping “Hints” and Other Passive-Aggression
• 3. Holding the Relationship Hostage
• But understand that committing to a person and always liking a person are not the same thing.
• 4. Blaming Your Partner For Your Own Emotions
• What You Should Do Instead: Take responsibility for your own emotions and expect your partner to be responsible for theirs. There’s a subtle yet important difference between being supportive of your partner and being obligated to your partner.
• 5. Displays of “Loving” Jealousy
• If my girlfriend cannot trust me to be around other attractive women by myself, then it implies that she believes that I’m either a) a liar, or b) incapable of controlling my impulses.
• 6. Buying the Solutions to Relationship Problems

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• #1: Fondness and Admiration
• #2: Me-ness vs. We-ness
• The clue to the dead romance… is not that they aren’t able to resolve an argument. It’s why they are stuck in it: They are both focusing on me, not we. 
• #3: Knowing your partner
• #4: Glorifying Your Struggles
• Couples who describe their relationship history as chaotic are usually unhappy in the present. They don’t tell stories of pulling together or learning from their negative experiences. There’s no sense in their descriptions that their past troubles and conflicts strengthened their mutual trust...
• #5: Disappointment vs. Satisfaction
• Either they emphasize their good times and make light of the rough spots, or they accentuate their failures and not their successes. Likewise, they either underscore their partner’s positive traits in favor of their more annoying characteristics (cherishing), or they do the opposite (trashing).

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