gradstuAZ 's List: Mentoring

• help them learn what "mentoring" means first.
• have a classroom-style discussion, you can hire someone like Zachary to host a "mentoring bootcamp," you can speak to mentors and mentees separately and then bring them together to discuss, or you can go to lunch.
• before I had a mentor, I talked about not being a procrastinator or I talked about changing certain things, but I never really did it," she says. "The accountability was key."
• "I think one of the main first steps is just normalizing your fear or your frustration or anticipation of [awkwardness]," she says. Although she was forced to start her first mentoring relationship, she doesn't suggest making your program mandatory. Instead, explain to people why they should choose to participate."You have to help them see the vision of why it matters."
• Manage expectations.
• "Because the word 'mentoring' has a lot of connotations associated with it. People might think, 'this is the person who is going to get me promoted, get me this, get me that,' so it's really important to identify to participants what the objectives are and what to expect, as well as not to expect, from it."
• Suggest a format.
• Mentoring pairs might choose to structure their time differently depending on their goals and preferences. But it's helpful to at least make a suggestion for how the mentoring pairs can get the most out of their relationship.
  Zachary suggests mentoring relationships follow this cycle: preparation, establishing agreements, enabling, and closure. In the preparation phase, the mentor and mentee have a conversation about their expectations, confidentiality, and the boundaries of the relationship. In the establishing agreements phase, the mentor helps the mentee work out a plan, with clear tasks, for achieving his or her goal. The enabling phase is when the work happens. The mentor supports the mentee in following his or her plan as well as provides feedback and accountability. "They provide a mirror so that the person can see where they are and what the possibilities are," Zachary says.
  
• Closure is a planned ending to the relationship. It's more than lunch. "You use it as an opportunity to reflect on your learning, what is it you've learned about yourself as a mentor or a mentee, what have you learned about yourself through this process, and how do you take what you've learned and use it to raise the bar and take it to the next level," Zachary says. You can also use it as an opportunity to celebrate success.

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