Gary Patton's List: Coaching Tips

• There is just something going on that we don't realize.
• But the reality is that the nurse was doing what she thought best, which made her appear irrational to others. Once the underlying history and motivation was revealed, her behavior made sense.
• Irrational behavior is part of the human condition.
• At some level, conscious or unconscious, each of us has a compelling reason — such as short-term gratification, peer acceptance, convenience, lifestyle, and many more — for doing the "wrong" thing.
• "There is NO SUCH THING as irrational behaviour".
• Everyone is strange
  Save me and you
  And sometimes I think
  You strange too

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• But asking questions effectively is a major underlying part of a manager's job

  • I'd argue effective questioning is everyone's job and a major life ...not just business... skill! It "blows my mind" that theis powerful relationship communication skill is not taught at school.
    But then, some argue, that John Dewey, one of the Founders of the Humanist Society and principal author of the "Humanist Manifesto"
• Many managers don't know how to probe the thought process of their subordinates, colleagues, and bosses — and instead make assumptions about the basis of their actions. And when those assumptions are wrong, all sorts of dysfunctional patterns can be created.
• three areas where improved "questioning" can strengthen managerial effectiveness
• Good managers therefore are always asking themselves and others about what they could do better or differently.

  • Both getting and giving good feedback is another major life-skill challenge for many of us. Ask me for my S-M-A-R-TBriefing™ on each of these life-skills because ...
    "All feedback you get or, better, can encourage, is helpful and able to assist you irrespective of it being complimentary, contrarian or contentious!"~ gfp '42™
• probing needs to be in the spirit of accelerating progress, illuminating unconscious assumptions and solving problems
• many of the best managers I've seen have an uncanny ability to engage in Socratic dialogue that helps people reach their own conclusions about what can be done to improve a plan or project, which of course leads to much more ownership and learning.
• Asking these questions in a way that does not trigger defensiveness and that is seen as constructive is an important skill for managers.

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• This is a way to obtain the rich flavors and textures of cocoa, the health benefits (e.g., blood pressure reduction, antioxidation) of cocoa flavonoids, while obtaining none of the sugars/carbohydrates . . . and certainly no wheat!
• Wheat products are a convenient source of indigestible fiber. But the idea that you must have whole grains from wheat to obtain sufficient fiber is pure fiction. There are plenty of other foods that are rich in fiber.
• non-wheat fibers low in carbohydrates, especially flaxseed and chia.
• They do not have any effect on blood sugar.
• wheat consumption changes the bacterial composition of your intestinal tract. Taking a probiotic for a few weeks can provide organisms like lactobacillus and bifidobacterium that help regain normal bacterial populations.
• So going wheat-free does not mean a lifetime of pushing and straining,
• Pumpkin pie is one of those fixtures of Thanksgiving dinner that, when recreated without wheat, can be enjoyed without worry.
• Sadly, cholesterol values can be a crude and often misleading set of measures.
• conventional cholesterol values are next to useless. Tracking the right data is crucial.
• most people don’t measure this
• small LDL is the #1 most common cause for heart disease in the U.S., not “high cholesterol.” Wheat consumption increases small LDL particles; wheat elimination is the most powerful tool available for reduction of small LDL particles, particularly when combined with weight loss.
• CRP and other measures of inflammation drop to the floor with wheat elimination.

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• labeling someone as an Introvert is a very shallow assessment, full of common misconceptions. It’s more complex than that.
• Laney’s book maps out the human brain and explains how neuro-transmitters follow different dominant paths in the nervous systems of Introverts and Extroverts. If the science behind the book is correct, it turns out that Introverts are people who are over-sensitive to Dopamine,
• A section of Laney’s book maps out the human brain and explains how neuro-transmitters follow different dominant paths in the nervous systems of Introverts and Extroverts.
• Conversely, Extroverts can’t get enough Dopamine, and they require Adrenaline for their brains to create it.
• Unfortunately, according to the book, only about 25% of people are Introverts.
• here are a few common misconceptions about Introverts (not taken directly from the book, but based on my own life experience):
• Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
• Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
• Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
• Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
• Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
• Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
• Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
• Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
• Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
• Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
• It can be terribly destructive for an Introvert to deny themselves in order to get along in an Extrovert-Dominant World.
• 

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• Remember when you were staring at the ceiling in elementary school, and the teacher asked you whether the answer was on the ceiling? Maybe it was.

  • You guys NEVER ever did that ...right? gfp (2011-10-04)
• One potentially appropriate therapy for procrastination lies in teaching something akin to time management
• it is desirable that not only that there should be an interval free from conscious thought on the particular problem concerned, but also that that interval should be so spent that nothing should interfere with the free working of the unconscious or partially unconscious processes of the mind. In those cases, the stage of incubation should include a large amount of actual mental relaxation"

  • Might it not have been more understandable for his readers for this academic to have simply said: "When you have a really difficult problem ...go to sleep!" Or: "Take a shower!" The latter usually works best for me. And to enhance the former, I keep a pad & pen on my bed-side table so I can jot down a quickie reminder, without really waking up, because I seldom can rember my brialliant idea in the morning? What do you do? gfp (2011-10-04)
• Helmholz described how new thoughts came to him: After previous investigation, "in all directions," .. " happy ideas come unexpectedly without effort, like an inspiration ... they have never come to me when my mind was fatigued, or when I was at my working table ... They came particularly readily during the slow ascent of wooded hills on a sunny day" (p. 91).

  • Athiestic scientists describe the event this way! Some call it 'serindipity' to similarily disguise the real source! I more accurately and unasamably call it what it is: GOD! gfp (2011-10-04)
• Einstein would "allow the subconscious to solve particularly tricky problems

  • Apropos my note above re 'serendipity', and contrary to common myth, Einstein was at best a diest late in life but not a Christian, according to those who knew him well. gfp (2011-10-04)
• They engage in the "preliminary period of conscious work which also precedes all fruitful unconscious labor" (Poincare, 1924).

  • Don't you just love academic writing? gfp (2011-10-04)
• Of course, the "illumination" that is the result of incubation needs to be followed by more conscious work. Ideas that arise as a result of incubation need to be evaluated (Smith, 1994);

  • Really? Duh!! gfp
• Incubation sometimes requires a very long break:
• can also occur with breaks of shorter duration.
• it can also happen in very short breaks, a few minutes or even moments.

  • God seldom works the same way ...every time! gfp
• I have found that these breaks work best when they are devoted to something fairly mindless: washing just a few dishes, filing just a few papers, or doing some light exercise.
• In fact, high achievers may actually take more time.
• perhaps some of the "non-stop" working was staring at the ceiling. If high achievers appear to accomplish tasks more quickly than others, I suspect it is only because they put in so much more time.¹

  • "Type "A' Personalities", please take note! (This is a note to myself!! :-) ) gfp

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• the paradoxical key to great performance – and leadership – is the capacity to embrace opposites.
• Even the noblest virtues, standing alone, have their limits.
• Honesty in the absence of compassion becomes cruelty.  Tenacity unmediated by flexibility congeals into rigidity.  Courage without prudence is recklessness.
• 1. The Physical.
• human beings operate best when we pulse between spending and renewing energy.
• In our rush to get things done, it doesn't occur to most of us that intermittently renewing and refueling energy prevents us from relentlessly burning down our energy
• The Emotional
• most of us embrace the notion that confidence lies at the heart of success. Vulnerability and uncertainty are seen as signs of weakness. 
• it feels dangerous to acknowledge our limitations and difficult to admit we don't know the answer, much less that we got something wrong.
• Humility comes from the Latin word "humilitas" which translates as grounded, or from the earth.
• The Mental
• we've long worshipped at the altar of scientific method and observable facts and admired rigorous, analytic left-hemisphere thinking.
• we've paid precious little attention to cultivating the more subjective, imaginative, and integrative capacities of the right hemisphere of our brain, which is visual rather than verbal, and capable of big intuitive leaps and creative breakthroughs. 
• The ability to embrace both of these ways of thinking – to recognize that each is essential but neither is sufficient by itself – lies at the heart of whole brain thinking.
• When we talk about spiritual energy, we mean the energy derived from serving a purpose larger than yourself.
• far too few leaders in companies recognize the galvanizing impact of creating a shared and compelling sense of purpose
• By contrast, we've found that people in professions such as health care, education, social work, and the military often run almost solely off spiritual energy.
• Self-care is a prerequisite to being most effective on behalf of others.

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• “If you can import a picture, you can create an effective PowerPoint.”

  • Here's what I've found is the absolute key to an effective presentation or speech after years of experience as a trariner, keynote speaker & University Professor. Add a visual to every slide! Then use no more than than 3 bullets no more than one-line long.
    Hey they're called speaker support slides for a reason. They're NOT your hanout of detailed info!
    That's something else.
    You're wise to NOT bore your audience or put them to sleep by packing your slides with text or lengthy quotes.
• While there are hundreds of different PowerPoint techniques to learn, there are only a handful you need to know if you want to start creating visually appealing presentations.
• there is a diminishing rate of return. It’s called the long-tail.
• A similar concept you may be familiar with is the 80/20 rule (technically the Pareto principle)
• Since vision trumps all other senses, the rate of return on importing a picture is high.

  • Vision does NOT trump all other senses. This is a myth! It's a commonly repeated error.
    
    Visualization is important in persuasion. But it does NOT trump all other senses as a learning or persuasion tool.
    
    It's a myth believed by people NOT familiar with modern brain research. They are simply repeating what they've heard so-called communicator teachers say. For scientific research, not anecdotal staements, check out brain researcher Dr. Ellen Weber at at http://is.gd/39ePvB .
    
    Smell is the most powerful memory riser and therefor learning and persuasion tool. (Think the word "lemon" or BO and you'll see why.)
    
    Audio is the next most powerful.
    
    Why do you think radio commercials have survived TV and continued to be the MOST effective vehicle for commercials? This is according to the "Wizard of Ads", Roy H. Williams, who is a world renowned author and advertising guru at http://www.mondaymorningmemo.com/ .

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• How to Get a Raise When Budgets Are Tight
• The idea of immediate results is alluring.
• It's the temptation of the lottery.
• instant results are almost always unattainable.
• It's not that I think people can't get raises right now. It's that if you haven't spent the last year laying the groundwork, it's highly unlikely that you'll be successful.
• The formula is based on one simple premise: We can get more money when we demonstrate that we've added more value. And we can add more value when we spend the majority of our time focusing on the work that the most senior leaders in the organization consider valuable. That is almost always work that increases revenue or profits, either short-term or long-term.

  • I recommend this formula also to my Career Coaching Clients as the guide for writing statements regarding your prior experience statements in your resume.
    Only make statements on your Resume re the value-added things you did that assisted your prior boss(es) to be successful in their career.
    Do so in clear, concise, cogent statements of what you've done under the heading: "Value I've Already Added" that your competition boringly and commonly calls "Work Experience"
    Numericize the value of what you've done, whenever possible. Fair estimates, when you don't have the actual data, are O.K. if you declare them as such.
    By highlighting only brief statements re the value-added things you done that assisted your prior boss(es) to be successful in their career, your prospective, new boss can get emotionally involved with how you can make him a hero and get her promoted.
• There's no question that we're all busier than ever before, but we often are not getting the most important things done.
• There are always some things that are more important to do than other things. The problem is that most of us aren't clear about what those are,
• Minimizing that noise is our opportunity
• During this year's compensation conversation, take whatever is given to you without negotiation.
• Make sure that the majority of your effort moves the organization further in those areas.
• stay on the same page about what's important and how it's impacting the organization.
• quantify the impact you're making
• f your manager starts asking you to do things outside the top two or three things, push back and have a conversation about it

  • You'd be wise to interpret "push back", here, as asking for a few minutes of the person's time to discuss and clarify his/her request when s(he) gives you a new assignment that is not in line with your prior, mutually agreed "Value-Adding Priority List". (You negotiated the latter during your most recent, past "Achievement Review" as outlined in #2 above. I eschew the term "Performance Review" because of its negative connotations and non-focus on value-adding.)
    You also can use use your "priority list" with one manager to head off conflicting work you get from another manager when more than one person can direct your activity.
    Go to the first and explain how another manager's assignment(s) is(are) making it difficult or even impossible for you to follow-through on the first manager's priorities on which you're concentrating or the deadline timing of which must be re-negotiated.
    Often, your principal manager will head-off the other manager for you or get the parameters changed to something you can reasonably handle and still add your planned value.
    S(he) also will do it with a lot more leverage than you have and, normally in a non-dysfunctional organization, without grief or negative fall-back for you.
    If instead s(he) tells you to do both, renegotiate your previously agreed concentration level and/or timing to something mutually agreeable and reasonable for you. Then, document by e-mail your conversation and request confirmation so that there is no future misunderstanding.
    However, if this happens too often, get another job ASAP because your primary boss is gutless and cannot protect you from organizational exploitation.
    
    This is a perfect, practical and proven way to head off the overwork that many simply "put up with" in our so-called "leaner and meaner" workplace that I simply call "employee exploitation".
• After about six months of this laser focus, you're ready to have another conversation with your manager to identify the impact you've had and prove that you've added tremendous value on the things that matter most.

  • Don't forget to keep what I call a "Brag Sheet" that summarizes in clear, concise and cogent staements what you've accomplished. Numericize or otherwise quantify the actual value you added. Give credit to the team with which you worked, if approprite.
• That's good timing since most organizations are beginning to think through their departmental budgets and promotions around the six-month mark.
• It's not a trick. It's in everyone's best interests.
• even if it requires that you push back
• ultimately you'll be more productive, your manager will be more productive, and the organization will be more productive.
• That's money in the bank. It will make your job more secure and you more promotable.

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• Genesis 2:23-25

• And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

• she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.
• they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves ^[a]loin coverings.

• Neuroscientist Steven Pinker on the triumph of peace and prosperity over death and destruction
• Why is ideology so deadly?
• There are two features of a lot of ideologies that make them deadly. One of them is demonizing.
• The other is if your ideology promotes some utopia
• radical religions, millennial religions, radical Islam, radical forms of Christianity, that say that there’s some irredeemably evil group standing between the world and perfection: the crusaders, the infidels, the Jews, the polytheists, the nonbelievers, and so on.
• The age of ideology coined the term genocide. You’ve pointed out that just because we recently invented the term doesn’t mean it didn’t happen before.
• What it means is we started caring about it.
• What is the “rights revolution”?
• The rights revolutions are the various social changes [that are] directed largely at violence on smaller scales.
• against racial minorities
• women’s rights
• children’s rights
• gay rights

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