60 People Share The Shortest, Funniest Joke They Know
This shit never ends, and I love it. Since a white penis dangles atween my legs, progressive identity groups have designated me as their natural-born enemy. Therefore, I take tremendous pleasure when my supposed enemies start shooting each other with friendly fire.
"Defendant began screaming at Plaintiff, telling Plaintiff how selfish he was; that Defendant got to where he is now due to sexual favors he had performed when he was in his Welcome Back, Kotter days; and that Hollywood is controlled by homosexual Jewish men who expect favors in return for sexual activity. Defendant then went on to say how he had done things in his past that would make most people throw up."
Reading through the hundreds of fuming comments from liberal readers of David Brooks’s amusing “Flood the Zone” self-parody in The New York Times about how we must overwhelm pregnant 14-year-olds with diverse social services, it becomes apparent there is a widespread desire among white progressives to Flood the Zone of poor black teens with…contraception. Lots and lots of contraception.
A Virginia man claimed to be a Navy SEAL to talk his way out of a gun possession arrest on Thursday, and the New York Police Department committed him to a psych ward thinking his claims of elite military status were the rantings of a lunatic.
Navy Seal
Turns out the guy was in fact an elite Navy SEAL.
But as the New York Post put it, telling the NYPD "I'm in an elite military unit, you can't arrest me," doesn't help much when the city's draconian gun laws are at issue.
The publisher of a Jewish newspaper who suggested in a column that Israel assassinate President Obama says he didn’t mean for his idea to be taken seriously and that he was just trying to get his readers to react.
If something cannot go on forever, it will stop.
--Stein's Law, first pronounced in the 1980s
42000_42819_frenkel_bunny
This proposition, arising first in a discussion of the balance-of-payments deficit, is a response to those who think that if something cannot go on forever, steps must be taken to stop it--even to stop it at once.
Finally, my own belief is that Obama’s ineffectuality has probably made him a better President than if he were on top of his game. Time will tell, but my guess is that at this point Obama has been less destructive than George W. Bush. By fall 2003, Bush had launched the subprime bubble with his White House Conference on Increasing Minority Homeownership, started a war over nonexistent WMDs, and more or less invited in millions of additional illegal immigrants.
For instance, talking honestly about soccer reveals that much of what nice upper middle class people say out loud about diversity and immigration isn’t true. There isn’t a lot of talent coming from Mexico, even in soccer. There especially isn’t much female talent from south of the border. Massive Latino immigration doesn’t make America more sophisticated; it makes the population more backward and knuckleheadedly macho. Privileged whites don’t actually want their children exposed to diversity; they will spend a lot of money to keep them, especially their daughters, in a cocoon as white as (say) the U.S. Women’s World Cup team.
Greg Rutter's Definitive List of The 99 Things You Should Have Already Experienced On The Internet Unless You're a Loser or Old or Something
Of course, the law's the law: if BrightSource showed wanton disregard for endangered wildlife, we ought to thank conservationists for holding the company to account. But that doesn't square with the fact that, in early 2010, BrightSource announced its intent to allocate $25 million to relocate the 25 turtles discovered during its site survey. While it's hard to fathom exactly what sort of desert digs might be had for $1 million per tortoise - pity the poor turtle who toddled out of the survey area just hours before the wildlife biologists took their count - that's apparently not enough. As Western Watershed's lead activist put it: "We want the project to go away."
Paging Dr. Freud, paging Dr. Freud,” Judge Quinn began a recent judgment that has gone viral in the family-law community. “Here, a husband and wife have been marinating in a mutual hatred so intense as to surely amount to a personality disorder requiring treatment. The source of difficulties is hatred: a hardened, harmful, high-octane hatred
And make no mistake, the Baby Boomers are nothing more than a generation of vampires seeking to suck the blood out of their children to prolong their own wretched lives. They’re also a gang of vile hypocrites. After they spent their youths in the sixties and seventies taking every illicit substance known to man, they got Puritan pious and instituted the War on Drugs in the eighties to ass-rape anyone else who did the same. After voting themselves massive entitlement programs in the form of the Great Society, they foisted neoliberal capitalism and “free trade” on America to denude blue-collar work and make getting into tens of thousand of dollars in debt a requirement just to enter the middle class. After dodging the draft during the Vietnam War when they were young enough to die for their country, they conjured up some “Support the Troops” bullshit as a salve to their corrupt souls and to browbeat everyone into becoming sunshine patriots. Every joy they indulged in they seek to deny to the rest of us, every ladder that they used to climb to the top they kicked away. And now that their lives are finally coming to a close and the scam they were hoping to cash in on is about to collapse, they’re scheming to hoard the government’s bullion all for themselves.
"And a version of, "Listen he's a nice person, he's very articulate" this is what's been used against him, "but he couldn't sell watermelons if it, you gave him the state troopers to flag down the traffic.""
THIS section of my site collects the humourous novels of the late (James) Thorne Smith (1893-1934)
One thing that every geek can do is quote their favorite geek-culture media, whether it’s movies, books, television, theater or music. The GeekDads have tried to compile a list of such quotes for your enjoyment.
The Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket is a must-have for any serious audiophile. The pristine sound it achieves is simply unbeatable by its non-cryogenically-treated counterparts. However, like so many other duplex sockets of its class, it falls short in one critical area: portability.
Despite it's state-of-the-art design, the Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Socket must still be installed in a wall. It would be great to experience the unmatched audio-grade capabilities of this duplex socket on road trips or while jogging with an iPod. Looking forward to the next generation wireless model!
in 1974, the Catholic Church commissioned the logo below to promote the Archdiocesan Youth Commission. Until recently, it was more forgotten than bell bottoms and wide lapels. But now, it's been rediscovered on the web, and it seems deeply prescient of the Church's infamous problems with children.