Leyla Bonilla's List: Hábitos vida personal

• 1) If you totally disagree with what is being said, smile, and say something like

   

  “I’m afraid I don’t agree with you”
   “You appear to have got your facts wrong”
   “No, I don’t agree with your opinion”

• 3) Which bring us on to dealing with criticism that is justified. The bottom line here is - admit it, apologize, move on.  Many of us find it hard to admit we’ve made a mistake or been lacking in our standards.

   

  “I agree, I shouldn’t have lost my temper. I’m sorry it upset XXXXX”
   “I agree, I have been late on several occasions this month. I’m sorry I’ve let you down.”

• Your partner being late for a date may mean he hates you and doesn’t respect you, or it may mean he got stuck in traffic. That headache you’ve had for 2 days may be a tumor the size of a grapefruit, or it may mean you’ve been overdoing the caffeine.  That abuse that your boss just hurled at you may mean you’re a worthless piece of garbage, or it may mean his wife has just left him and he’s taking it out on you.
• Whatever it is you want to do, it’s almost certain that somebody has done it before (or at least something very similar). Find out how they accomplished it and model them. Speak to them if possible and learn from their successes and their mistakes. If there is no option to speak directly (always tricky with dead people), read up on them and talk to people that may have known them.
• There’s no need to reinvent the wheel just remember, the quickest route to success is to follow a beaten path.
• “If you wouldn’t write it and sign it, don’t say it.”  ~ Earl Wilson
• They see a failure as feedback. They know that it’s impossible to be really successful without failing a lot, so they want to fail and fail fast.

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• Binge eating is the most common overeating mechanism. Binge eating is simply eating too much food. Often people binge eat to deal with stress, fear, anger or other tough emotions. A common binge eating episode is eating a whole tub of ice-cream at the end of a stressful day. Another common binge eating episode is dieting and crashing. This was my biggest problem when it came to weight loss. I would diet extremely, eating too little, and I’d be able to keep it up for a few days. However on the 6th or 7th day I would crash, and binge eat - basically eating all the fatty sugary foods I’ve been avoiding.

• 1. Do NOT diet.

   

  Dieting doesn’t work. I’ve tried all the diets. I would be able to keep a diet up for a few days. But then I would have a day where I would crash, and binge eat. Rather than trying to diet to lose weight, try to slowly improve your eating habits. Instead of eating 5 junk foods a day, try eating 4 for the next 7 days

• 2. Eat fatty or sugary foods in controlled moderation.

   

  Do not deprive yourself of foods you crave. Otherwise you will keep increasing your craving for that food. One day you will crash and binge on that food. Eat fatty and sugary foods you craved in controlled moderation. Control the portion size. It’s not a good idea to order a whole large pizza for yourself if you only plan on eating 2 slices. Rather it’s better to order a personal sized pizza.
• There will be days where you are too week to say no, and will binge eat. It’s ok, forgive yourself. Don’t let the feelings of guild creep in. Don’t try to be a perfectionist. You are NOT perfect. Rather forgive yourself, and move on. If you let feelings of guilt and disappointment creep in, you probably will feel overwhelmed, give up, and binge eat some more.

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• So, generally it is better to be open about yourself and honest and clear about your intentions. In other words, the best strategy is the polar opposite of many people's actual practice in online dating.
• The art of self-disclosing, then, is giving information to others in the right way and at the right time.
• Receiving intimate information is no less of a skill, involving the verbal and nonverbal communication of understanding. Online dating offers the huge temptation to cheat at self-disclosure, but, to be successful, the art of self-disclosure is much the same in the online world as the offline.

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• Listening to good music in the car.
• A good novel.
• Popcorn and an old movie on DVD.
• Dark chocolate
• Dancing like you’re crazy.
• Telling jokes till your sides ache.
• A long conversation with a good friend
• Being lazy on a Sunday.
• Banana split.
• Fries and a chocolate milkshake.
• Taking an afternoon nap.
• • The feeling after a good workout.
   
  • Checking something off your to-do list.
• An empty email inbox.

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• Poor people’s thinking is “Life happens to me.” If you wish to make wealth, it is important that you believe you are at the hand wheel of your life; and that you create every single second of your life. Your financial life, in particular.
• For the coming week, I advice you not to sound off in any way. Neither complain about anything using your mouth, nor think unhappy in your mind. You will be surprised with the results and how successful and serene your life will become.
• Poor people take part in the race on defense rather than offense. This is actually their main problem. Let’s suppose, if you are strained to run strictly on defense, what are the chances for winning the race? I think the majority will agree; slim and none.
• All the same, that is how literally most people participate in the race. Their main objective is survival and security, not wealth and abundance. So, it’s the time for you to decide: What is your objective?
• Few of them will think, “Having more wealth will make life a lot more enjoyable.” Conversely, others think like, “Uh-huh, but I’ll have to work harder. Just like a donkey! So how the heck is that comfy?” Some will say, “I’ll be able to move around the world.” Then again, the others react like, “Nah! Every person in the world would like to have something from me.”
• Rich people are firm about- They want money. They are steadfast in their belief. They are fully devoted to creating wealth. They are ready to do whatever it takes to create wealth. Rich people get it because they do not spread confused messages in the universe.
• Believe me; everything will change the day you will begin to think big.
   You want to do big or small? It’s totally up to you. Remember, it’s not about you. It’s about living your objective. It’s about living true to your objective. It’s about attending to others.
• The secret to success is not to try to keep away from problems. Problems are to be solved when they arise. You should be bigger than any problem. Whether you are rich or poor, doing big or small, problems do not get away. If you are taking a breath, you will always face problems in your life.
• Poor people give attention to problems.
   Rich people observe potential growth and focus on the rewards.
   Poor people observe potential loss and focus on the risks.

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• Because after having read five books you think and plan and think a little more. You get lost in thinking.
• Thinking can’t replace action.
• Without taking action you’ll most likely not get what you want.

• You may overcomplicate things.

   

  Are things hard and difficult? Yeah, they might be. But you may also want consider that it’s you that are making them even harder.

• Be aware of the problem.

   

  The most important thing is to be aware that you tend to overthink. And to keep being aware of that in your everyday life. You can for instance do that with post-it notes that say “Don’t overthink things. Act!” or something along those lines.
• By just being aware of your habit you can often pick up on when you are doing it, stop yourself and do something more helpful instead.

• Set deadlines for decisions.

   

  Instead of thinking about something for days, tell yourself that you have - for example - 30 minutes to think. Then you will make a decision.

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• Visit your community library. Not only is a library a warehouse of books, most libraries also have extensive CD and DVD collections you can check out. Many libraries also have “story time” for young children, film nights, book clubs, and many other events that you may be unaware of - completely for free. Stop in and check out what they have to offer.
• Check out some podcasts. Podcasts are wonderful things - top-notch audio programs available for you to listen to for free.
• Play board games. We have a pile of board games, mostly received as gifts, that we often pull out and play, plus our closest friend has a few choice ones.
• Clear out your media collection - books, DVDs, CDs, etc. Just go through what you’ve got, determine which ones you’d actually like to keep, and get rid of the rest
• 13. Make a 101 Goals in 1001 Days list - then start on some of them. A 101 Goals in 1001 Days list is a very effective way to codify all of the ideas of things you’d like to do all into one place, so that when you have spare time, you can just turn to the list and do what’s next on it. Spend some time thinking of things that belong on this list, then when it’s finished, you’ll have an excellent list of potential accomplishments and be ready to go with lots of activities.
• . Make decisions about and write out your will. This is a thought process that many people put off, but it makes you feel quite relieved when it’s done, adding to your peace of mind and relaxation. Spend some time thinking about what you want to happen to your personal assets when you die, particularly in terms of the personal mementos that you want others to have and where you want the value of your estate to go. Do you want it all to stay with family members? Do you want to remember a charity? Then, when you’ve figured it out, sketch out the basics of a will. Later, you’ll likely have to have a lawyer prepare it for you, but just having the decisions made doesn’t cost a thing and is a big mental relief.
• Do a household maintenance walkthrough. Just go through your home and look for any little maintenance tasks that need to be done. Do filters need to be replaced? Are there any burnt-out light bulbs? Here’s a maintenance checklist that might give you some ideas as to what to look for.
• Organize a walking tour. Find out about the interesting historical and cultural sites in your town, then go on a walking tour of it. Pack a lunch in your backpack and have a picnic on the village green or in the park. You can easily turn this into a full day if you live in a compelling area.
• Take some digital photographs. Take your digital camera out with you and take pictures of anything you find interesting.
• Take lots of them, then go home later and see if you’ve taken anything beautiful and compelling. Great images can make for the basics of homemade greeting cards (yep, keep going downwards for more on this), nice desktop wallpaper, screensavers, or many other interesting uses
• Share those digital photographs with others. Sign up for a free Flickr account, then upload some of your most interesting pictures to share with others. Spend the time to title them appropriately, add interesting captions, and allow them to be used under a Creative Commons Attribution license so your images can be enjoyed by as many people as possible.
• Build a basic net worth calculator for yourself. One great way to ensure that you’re consistently making financial progress is to build your own net worth calculator. Once you have it set up, updating it is easy, and it can provide a great snapshot of your financial situation as well as show off your progress. Here’s a detailed guide to making one with any basic spreadsheet program.
• Try out some great open source and free software
• Make a how-to video for YouTube. Share your knowledge! All you need is a digital camera that captures video and (optionally) some video editing software. Just create a video to demonstrate how to accomplish something interesting and useful. Start off by making a script to follow, then turn on the camera and follow it. When you’re done, upload it to YouTube and let others enjoy it. If it’s useful and entertaining, people will come.
• Do some networking. Spend an afternoon writing emails to professional contacts, just to see what they’re up to and letting them know what you’re up to, setting them up to send en masse on Monday morning
• Read an entertaining book.
• Call a family member or a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while.
• Get things done. Almost everyone has a long list of things to do “when they have time.” Use the fact that you’re intentionally spending a money-free weekend to in fact get some of those things done. Clean up the house. Dust the front room. Fix that old toaster. Go through the stuff on the garage loft. At the end of the weekend, you’ll have accomplished something useful, plus your wallet will be fully intact.
• Do some puzzles.
• Get involved in an open source programming project. If you’re a computer programmer, there are few more intellectually stimulating ways to get involved in your passion than to be involved in an open source programming project. One role that almost every project can use is a person that is willing to fix mundane and boring bugs - finding that one line of code that’s causing a minor issue and fixing it. Look for a project that’s compelling for you and dig in.
• Pick up a musical instrument and learn it.
• Explore a blog you like. If you’re reading this, you’re probably at least a casual reader of at least one blog. What you might have forgotten, though, is that most worthwhile blogs have tons of useful and entertaining stuff in their archives. Dig deep in the archives of one of your favorite blogs.
• Clean out a closet
• get rid of the unimportant items
• Play Desktop Tower Defense … or some other great free online game.
• Donate some unwanted things to charity. If you’ve gone through your stuff but don’t want to have a yard sale, consider giving the stuff to charity. Not only will you have a clean house, you’ll have the good feeling of knowing your items are going to be used by someone who actually needs them, plus you’ll have a pile of receipts to use for tax deductions next April.

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• These questions should be reviewed every Sunday morning or sometime during the weekend when you have some quiet time to think. 
• What did I learn last week? – If you have trouble answering this question, it’s time for a change.  It doesn’t matter how old you are, you should learn something new every week.
• What’s the #1 thing I need to accomplish this week? – Everything else is secondary, and should be treated as such. 
• What can I do right now to make the week less stressful? – Set reminders in your calendar, get your laundry done, fill the car with gas… organize yourself.
• What was last week’s biggest time sink? – Steer clear of this in the future.  Setup physical barriers against distractions if you have to.
• Am I carrying any excess baggage into the week that can be dropped? – Physical clutter, mental clutter… eliminate the unnecessary so the necessary may shine bright.
• What have I been avoiding that needs to get done? – Pencil in a time to get these things done.  For any 2-minute or less tasks, consider scheduling them first thing Monday morning.
• Is there anyone that deserves a big ‘Thank You’? – Take time each week to thank the people who have helped you.  Your kind gesture will not go unnoticed.
• • How can I help someone else this coming week? – The easiest way to get what you want is to help others get what they want.  If you help them, they will remember you when you need help.
   
  • What are my top 3 goals for the next 3 years?
• Have any of my recent actions moved me closer to my goals? – If the answer is no, something needs to change.
• What’s the next step for each goal? – Knowing the next step is the key to accomplishing the whole.
• What am I looking forward to during the upcoming week? – The answer can act as a great source of motivation.  If nothing exists, schedule something to look forward to.

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• Write more things down
• This can be at night, when you can take 10 to 15 minutes to look over your notes and any material that you were given.
• The best thing to do is to take part in some physical activity to start your day. Also have some water with you all the time to help you stay alert and engaged.
• Don't multitask
• One way to memorize new facts is to take the new idea that you have and associate it with something that you already know. A place or an anecdote will create a relationship in your mind that you can go back to.
• Use short phrases or poems to help memorize long lists or facts.

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• Do you find yourself saying the words I’m sorry or I don’t know often? Did you know that this over-sighted language pattern is actually limiting our potential to happiness and ultimately getting what we want?
• If our conscious mind is indeed “in control” as we believe, then why do we sign up for gym memberships after new years and never go? Why it is that even after we’ve decided on something we really want (like a new hobby), we fail to take action on it?

• While our conscious mind is the captain of our ship, our unconscious mind is the guys in the engine room, making the ship run. The ship moves because of the work done by these engine room guys. They listen to the commands from the captain, without question. They are exceptional at taking commands and executing them.

   

  Since the conscious mind has limited capacity and can only become aware of a very limited set of information, our unconscious mind only surfaces what we consider important. How does the unconscious mind know what’s important? It doesn’t. The unconscious mind determines this based on the frequency of commands it receives of the same topic from the conscious mind.
• Each time we have a conscious thought, or we verbalize words aloud, or see a scene in our imagination, it gets fed into our unconscious mind. Like a command from the captain, whether it is our intention or not, the command gets executed in some form; it leaves an impression on the unconscious mind.
• if we repeatedly say I’m sorry each time we reply to emails after 2 days, then we’ve programmed ourselves to feel guilt whenever we do not respond to emails immediately.
• I recommend we reserve the words I’m sorry to situations when we really mean it, and need it to express our genuine feelings.
• There is a difference between truly not knowing something and believing that you don’t know something. There’s also the connotation that you do not have the ability to decide or to learn something new. These words are repeated so causally that we start to rely on them out of laziness and habit.
• At times, even for the smallest decision, we would shrug and say “I dunno”. Why? Because it’s an easy answer. We don’t have to think.
• What we repeatedly do becomes our habits. And if we make a habit out of indecisiveness on small decisions, how will we react when we need to make important decisions in life, in business, or in relationships?
• Being indecisive sends a similar message to the people around you. We tend to trust and rely on people who are decisive. It is a character strength; especially in business.
• Replace “I don’t know” when making a decision with an alternative phrase. Come up with a list of such alternatives. Here are some ideas: 
   
  • “Give me a moment, I have not decided yet.”
   
  • “Let me think about it.”
   
  • “I am evaluating my options.”
   
  • “Hmmm. Let me see…”
   
  • Action: List out the options and their pros and cons.

• Consider the following scenario:

   

  Person A: “Where is the salt?”

   

  Person B: “On the kitchen shelf.”

   

  Person A: “I don’t see it.”

   

  Person B walks to where person A is standing, reaches over where person A is looking, and pulls out the salt bottle. It was right in front of person A.

   

  Have you been in such a scenario? I certainly have. Did person A truly not see the salt? Or did person A believe that she did not see the salt? Bingo!
• Remember that our unconscious mind takes commands directly from our words? When we tell ourselves that we do not see something, we are passing the message to our unconscious mind in the form of a command. It proceeds accordingly and makes a note to stop passing anymore messages to the conscious mind when salt bottles are seen. Isn’t that funny?
• When you want to say “I don’t remember where I put the keys?”, rephrase the question to “If I could remember, what would they be?”
• Instead of saying “I don’t know how to.”, rephrase to “I have not learned how to do that yet, but I can learn.“
• When we say I can’t do something, we’ve just declared impossibility as a definite answer. We are telling ourselves that we will never be able to do it, because we lack the necessary capabilities.
• By saying we can’t do something, we are suggesting that we do not have the ability to learn, that we have given up, that we lack the potential that other gifted humans possess.
• By saying we don’t have the time, we are impressing upon ourselves that we are very busy, making us feel important. It is an illusion. Yes, we may have a very full schedule, but when we say we don’t have time, it usually means that we just don’t want to do it. Not having enough time is an excuse. If it was important enough, we’d find the time

• For starters, you don’t have to do anything! You know that. The world will not come to an end if you don’t do something (in most cases). We feel like we have to for one of two reasons:

   
   
  1. It brings you pleasure/benefit. ie. Something you enjoy doing.
   
  2. It reduces pain. ie. Losing a job or friendship, or an excuse not to do something else.
• We are in control of our lives, and instead of saying I have to, replace it with I want to, or I am doing something because here are the benefits it brings me.
• If you don’t want to do something, instead of giving people excuses starting with “I’d love to but, I have to…“, just gracefully say “Thanks for the invite, but I am resting at home tonight.” Or “Thank you. I have plans tonight. Maybe next time.

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• Don’t Say: “Wow, you’ve lost a ton of weight!”
  Why: To a newly trim person, it might give the impression that she used to look unattractive.
  Instead Say: “You look fantastic.” And leave it at that. If you’re curious about how she got so svelte, add, “What’s your secret?”
• Don’t Say: “You look so good for your age.”
  Why: Anything with a caveat like this is rude. It’s saying, “You look great — compared with other old people. It’s amazing you have all your own teeth.”
  Instead Say: “You look great.”

• You may have implemented a few systems, but here are some areas you might consider giving a clean-up:

   
   
  • Computer hard-drive
   
  • Calendar
   
  • To-Do Lists
   
  • Project Task Lists
   
  • Office/Desk/Home
   
  • Filing System
   
  • Closets
• Make a Routine - Find a gym partner, class or workout time that you can exercise at least 3-4 times per week. I’ve experimented with different amounts and found six days a week works best for me. If you are unsure how to start, just try it for thirty days to see how it goes.
• We all have those few customers, clients and friends that cause a disproportionate amount of our stress. I say the best solution is simply to fire them. Cutting down on people who drain your energy can help you focus more productively on the rest.
• Don’t try to do everything and outsource the tasks that don’t fit within your strengths. Virtual Assistants and freelancers can deliver a much higher quality than you could on your own, and often their fees are less than the cost of your time.

• A squeaky hinge is any piece of technology that works, but has irritating side-effects. This could mean a computer that is too slow to run the programs you need. A dishwasher that doesn’t get all the food off. Or an alarm clock that isn’t loud enough.

   

  If the solution to a squeaky hinge is cheap, fix it immediately. The costs will soon outweigh any replacement expenses. If the solution is expensive, write down the total cost and keep track of any wasted time/money due to the problem.

• Information addiction can be a huge drain to your energy. I love using blogs, e-mail and social networking sites to get the latest news and keep in touch. But that love can quickly turn into an obsession if you aren’t careful. Soon you’re like the rat frantically pushing the lever for more cocaine doses as you hit Stumble one… more… time…

   

  My solution was to designate a time for information inflow and keep it restricted to that time. Once per day is all I allow myself to read new RSS feeds, incoming e-mail and Facebook. For other stats and random surfing I limit myself to once per week. The result is more energy and almost no impact on communication.
• Don’t waste your time trying to please the people around you. This isn’t an excuse to be an inconsiderate jerk, but put a high value on your time. Learn to say no to people who don’t show respect for your time.

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• Mirroring is copying the other person’s physical mannerisms, movements and facial expressions when engaged in a conversation. You become a mirror image of the other person.
• I’m always impressed when others I’ve just met remember my name and use it in a sentence. Since birth, our parents, teachers, friends, and family, have hard wired the sound of our name in our brain. It is certain to get your attention, instantly. It makes you feel important and respected, filling our desire for attention and love.
• Always make an effort to remember people’s names
• People love talking about themselves, seriously.
• Ask questions that the other person will enjoy answering. If it’s a complete stranger, start with the basics and dig deeper. Rephrase their words to make sure you really understand what they’re saying. You can think of this technique as verbal mirroring.
• Next time you’re engaged in a conversation, practice not saying anything after asking a question.
• Try it: ask a question and then zip up. Listen and learn.
• I’m a big believer in giving more than I take in return. And my personal motto: “To get what you want, help others get what they want, first.”
• “Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love,
   a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.”
   ~ Mother Teresa

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• Drink water. If you typically drink lots of juice or soda or alcohol, replacing these calorie-filled drinks with water will cut a few hundred calories a day.
• Exercise for 15-20 minutes
• Take it easy -- do a few crunches, a few push ups, jog in place for a few minutes.
• Replace a sugary snack with fruits. If you eat Twinkies, Ding Dongs, donuts, candy bars, a carton of ice cream ... you know you need to cut those out. Try fruit instead.
• Walk, and use the stairs. Park 5-7 minutes away from work, which adds up to about 10-15 minutes of walking a day, to and from work (in addition to the exercise mentioned above). Use the stairs instead of the elevator. That's about 100 calories total.
• Skip butter. If you put butter on your toast, your roll, and your baked potato, you can save 200-300 calories a day if you skip the butter.
• plan on a midmorning and mid afternoon snack, and make at least one of them healthy. Don't snack in between snacks.
• Marinara sauce instead of Alfredo will save you a couple hundred calories
• Eat baked chicken, not fried.
• • Skip seconds, and eat slower. If you go back for an extra piece of meat and buttered bread, you're adding another few hundred calories. Instead, eat slowly, and you'll get full faster. Also, even if feel hungry after the first helping, wait for 20 minutes. Often, the feeling of hunger will go away.

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