Ann Garvey's List: *9-16-13

• Its been a while since ive been on here. since 2012. or maybe early 2013. But ever since christmas, ive been integrated i believe.
• I integrated via meditation, and prayer to my gods. so i have been integrated since i stopped getting on here. which was a year ago, and the bipolar followed by going into remission 2 months later. so 10 months.
• How are you now spanky-spee?

1 more annotation...

• debetoile wrote:When the days go Monday morning, wednesday, thursday afternoon, sunday

• There is a new alter but he is not telling us his name and he is not talking to any of us. I think he hates us. Why does he hate us? I tryed to say hi to him but he just runs away and hides from me. He hates me. ~Holly

• i would like to make a system map in order to start really trying to make sense of things and maybe achieve some kind of order; i feel very out of control and confused right now and it's not getting easier, i don't know if i'm approaching some kind of harder switch but that's the feeling i get, that or parts are trying to emerge...
• does anyone have any advice on where to start and what kind of structure might be useful? i would appreciate any advice at all on how to go about this.

• What happened to everyone i remember on here? Are they all well now? I hope so. Tomboy was usually the first one to answer me. I'm wondering how she is doing now and lifelongthing and everyone else too.

• one guy makes a topic about scitzo's *which 90% of this site has*
  it automatically entitles you to make a post picking on him?
  grow the hell up.
  ---
  you are not "official" anything of any board grow up. RIP Everquest Online Adventures 2003-2012
• Doesn't make sense even. I have a friend with multiple personality something disorder (his words, his psychiatrists change the third word every week apparently ) and his other personality isn't a gamer.
• Either you're lying, your friend is lying, or your friend is seeing a very, very bad psychiatrist. There's no such thing as 'multiple personality ____ disorder'. What people commonly refer to as 'multiple personality disorder' is actually called 'dissociative identity disorder', and is one of the most over-diagnosed mental disorders in the country.
  
• The funniest thing about the schizophrenia thread was how so many people in it had it (relatively speaking), or knew someone that had it, or multiple people that had it, even though only 1% of the population has it. Well, the number of people that have DID is between .01% and 1% of the population. Just a couple posts into this joke thread we already have someone with a friend that has it. A statistical phenomenon!

2 more annotations...

• Eve: It's been a long time now. I feel like this system became Desiria's system. Except well there are only like 9 alters I think.
• The "good" ones are inactive. Only us, the "bad" ones. *sigh* Let me introduce all of us.
• Eve: I used to be a neutral-ish alter. I think because of being neutral by force (I don't know how to explain it) I separated and then there are David and Mystery. David, 16, control anger and Mystery, 24, control rage (Like when he triggered or angry, he'll destroys $#%^ ). But now I've integrated back to myself again. And due to Rana's inactivity, means she's SUPPOSE to be responsible for us but she's NOT, I became an admin.
• Eve: So yeah, that's all about all of us. I think meds doesn't work now because Kevin and I love drugs now.

2 more annotations...

• I am 25 years old and I can barely do anything at all. I'm scared of doctors cause they just label me crazy and send me to the shrink even though I am in pain. I am labeled with fibromyalgia, psychogenic asthma, migraines and probably conversion disorder so whenever I'm in pain it has to be something mental I guess cause I'm crazy. I was labeled fibro by the same doc who ignored my acute kidney infection which could have killed me, he was abusive he even hit me in my kidney and I didn't realize until about 3 months after the fact.
• Do other people with DID have unreasonable amounts of pain and/or fatigue?
• I wish to be reinspected but since I have such bad memory and get really confused all the time I'm scared that they will still think it's all in my head. But even if I would have fibro and conversion, it can't be possible that this is so debilitating that I can't do anything at all anymore? Can it? Do other people with DID have so much physical pain that it reduces their life to almost none?

1 more annotation...

•  

  1 — 50 / 64   Petr Bob & George A. Mashour (forthcoming). Schizophrenia, Dissociation, and Consciousness. Consciousness and Cognition. Consciousness and Psychology in Philosophy of Cognitive Science Schizophrenia in Philosophy of Cognitive Science
• Christopher Buford (2011). Review of Philosophy of Personal Identity and Multiple Personality – Logi Gunnarsson. [REVIEW] Philosophical Quarterly 61 (243):418-420.

  Dissociative Identity Disorder in Philosophy of Cognitive Science
• Edward Greetis (2011). Dissociative Identity: An Objection to Baker's Constitution Theory. Acta Analytica 26 (4):329-341.

  One of the central problems of personal identity is to determine what we are essentially . In response to this problem, Lynne Rudder Baker espouses a psychological criterion, that is, she claims that persons are essentially psychological. Baker’s theory purports to bypass the problems of other psychological theories such as Dissociative Identity Disorder and the problem of individuating persons synchronically. I argue that the theory’s treatment of Dissociative Identity Disorder leads to untenable results, is invalid, and consequently fails to individuate (...) persons. (shrink)

  Dissociative Identity Disorder in Philosophy of Cognitive Science

  Psychological Theories of Personal Identity in Metaphysics
• Logi Gunnarsson (2010). Philosophy of Personal Identity and Multiple Personality. Routledge.

  Introduction -- Am I alone in my body? -- Multiple personality -- Personal identity -- Diachronic identity -- What am I fundamentally? -- Empirical discernability and fission -- My body -- The various senses of personal identity -- Multiple personality and individuation -- Morton Prince's seminal case study the dissociation of a personality -- Philosophical theories of multiple personality -- The coexistence thesis -- Sharing my body -- A criterion of individuation -- Multiple personality in therapeutic and biographic discourses -- (...) Multiple personality in literary discourses. (shrink)

  Dissociative Identity Disorder in Metaphysics
• John P. Lizza (2010). Review of Logi Gunnarsson, Philosophy of Personal Identity and Multiple Personality. [REVIEW] Notre Dame Philosophical Reviews 2010 (3).

  Multiple Personality in Metaphysics

3 more annotations...

• It has been a great day, I watched The Perks of Being a Wallflower with a friend of mine, we played cards and then he followed me to the bus when I was going home. He hugged me and it was great, as I said he followed me, because it was dark outside and I think that's a bit scary. We had such a good time.

• started talking to oldest friend today; he sent a message asking if things were ok, told him i am not good at the minute, the headteacher is looking after my child cause i am not able to care for her right now. started talking about things...
• before i got to explaining about DID he said it sounds like a split personality, then went ahead and told me he had thought for a very very long time that he has thought something like that is going on but never knew how to bring it up!
• he is my oldest friend and i feel like it's a massive confirmation for me, it is a bit overwhelming, we have been talking about it for a few hours now... i am feeling very tired and drained but i finally really feel like i might not just making things up.

1 more annotation...

• We have a mental health reveiw on Wednesday. Is there any trips on how to get though it. It was the type of thing that Anastasia goes to but she is still to upset to go so it is up to me. Do I just act like Anastasia and hope they think I am her or do I go as myself and let know that I'm the new host? I'm scared.
  ~Jessica

• I was wondering if someone with DID loses time only later in his life and never lost time earlier.
• Lets assume someone 100% never lost time earlier nor it happened and he doesn't know.Let's say for example someone lived with their abuser for after the age of 20. He was abused as a child then abuse stopped but he was still living with the abuser for a long time as an adult and he fears him till date as he is aggressive.
• Is it possible in this case that there have been always 1 ANP and then later in life other surface and time loss occur?

1 more annotation...

• From what I've heard around the forum (and what I may or may not be experiencing myself; I do not have a dx), a large number of DID voices are not heard audibly. These types of voices are recognizable as thoughts, but they may use a different pitch and tone than what your thoughts generally "sound" like.
• Auditory hallucinations are perceived as actual outside noises. Some people with DID have these, where they hear their alters speaking to them as if they are outside (or inside) their bodies. This is also the type of voice that schizophrenics hear. This type of voice can be mistaken as coming from the environment, and can be rather unnerving if you keep hearing someone talk to you when no one is there!

• I'm glad to hear things are working out with the new T, and I'm really glad to hear that you're able to ask the questions you need to ask to feel safe with this new T.
• I hope that things are going well for y'all.

• I found a therapist in my area that works in a sliding scale. She also said she has some experience with dissociative disorders. She wanted to know what I am looking for in a therapist. I sent the following.
• I am 47 years old and have always said I do not remember my childhood. It has become apparent over the last few years that there are huge gaps in my adult memory as well. Most of my memory seems to fade away, however there are times most days when it would seem that I have either completely missed events or my mind put something else in its place. I "zone out" frequently and the world gets foggy, distant or surreal.
• If I am to believe what I have been told, there are 30 of us in here. I'm not sure whether my husband and children actually believe, but my son says he has seen 6-8 different  "personality states" and my husband says he has seen 14 of me. My daughter says "no one believes you have DID".
• I wrote to the Pottergate Centre for Dissociation & Trauma and took the DES and SDQ20. They said it is clear that I show significant symptoms and I am likely to have a dissociative disorder. I have taken the SCID-D and have scored from 45-78 (as best as I can remember), depending on when it was taken. On the flip side of this is denial. Am I making it up? Am I giving in to normal human emotions? Am I giving in to my normal internal child? Are the intrusive thoughts my own?
• My biggest fears are that I currently remember a few really bad things, what happens when I remember what my mind is protecting me from? I've only had a few flashbacks so far and they have been very tame memories, a few were even good memories.  I can't continue to go through life wonderding what happened.
• What do you guys think? Did I say it right?

4 more annotations...

• My therapist suggested integration but I'm terrified of it. I'm afraid it's going to kill my internal family. I don't believe her when she tells me its not. this is the only life I've ever known and I'm afraid of being without them.
• I will feel better hearing it from someone who have been integrated. how has it affected you? is it a better way of living?
• Do outsiders treat you better once you were integrated? if my internal world is erased then where do I go when I need to escape to safety? Who will protect me?
• I'm really afraid and I don't want to return to therapy until I get more information about it. I'm afraid she will hypnotize me and kill them while I'm hypnotized. Please help me.

2 more annotations...

• I think my whole team is a muddle, I've been in the mental health system for years now, march 2012 a rotational outpatient psychiatrist (one of the few good ones) asked a lot of questions and also spoke with my mother about my past, this was all after husband and i started reporting personality changes, time loss etc. a year a bit later I've had consultation sessions with a psychotherapist who has put me forward for psychotherapy after I told him I think I have DID, my care co ordination is understanding and our family therapists have seen different personalities; these people speak of DID openly, everyone else not so
• The new psychiatrist I don't think has even bothered reading the notes and has not mentioned DID and neither did the last one although when I asked a question she said the psychotherapy can help with the dissociation ...but still no diagnosis
• Crisis teams just treat everyone like rubbish but maybe if they knew what was happening maybe would be better or have a better process based on what
  My file says
• I just don't get why I haven't been diagnosed, is there some process in psychotherapy or is the whole team out of touch with each other; I'm worried because I swing in and out
  Of denial about DiD and also want to get better and I worry that this messy functioning isn't going to help me
  What are others experiences with diagnosis?
  
  Thanks

2 more annotations...

• The horses are stabled - all
  those red-eyed females
  trapped behind blackened
  walls of shuddering brick and
  stone, baring gums towards
  brackish skies, tame and
  useless and mute.
• They are only empty sounds,
  muffled by solar wind. Our
  monsters are made by the
  memories of fear, intangible
  echoes of ghosts that in the
  dark loom huge and grotesque,
  exaggerated by flickering lights.

• Today I had my first therapy session. I'm surprised how well it went. She didn't seem phased by anything I said, I only told her about two of us and just a couple of examples of how we are different and how I know we are different identities, but the therapist accepted this along with the other symptoms I mentioned.
• She says we can have 5 sessions and then decide if we want to work together further or not, and if its not working she would help me find another therapist.
• The only problem was she doesnt speak my native language, so it was a bit frustrating when I couldn't find exactly the right words, but I felt there was still very understanding between us based on this first session, so I'll continue and see how I feel after the first 5 sessions.
• If she accepts that there at least 2 of us, then that is a good

2 more annotations...