Ann Garvey's List: **10-14-13 to 10-20-13

• Hey! Leave me alone. I need to look at R&B Divas Atlanta.

• I have no idea if I have DID or not. I have friends in my head, that's what I call them anyway. Though the title is somewhat inaccurate because some are hardly friends. I have a total of three so far.
• Anyways, recently things have been getting really weird and, to put it bluntly, I need professional help. I'm seeing a doctor on Tuesday and I'm really excited to talk to someone professional about all this.
• I always experience co-consciousness with my friends. I don't know, things are strange and getting stranger and I just really hope that this all turns out alright.

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• Its been a while since I came on to the forums, i miss all you i spoke to on here and its been a rough time for me and thats why i wasnt able to come back for a while.
  I am SO SICK of DID. Im sick of talking about it, working on it, it pisses me off and I just want all these stupid people to go away.
• Im not the type that really knows, gets to know or has ever wanted to know about my alters. i denied it for a long time, thought i had some sort of narcolepsy or something and now that ive been working with a specialist for a year i still just want to run away.
• i read your posts and I just wonder how you all manage your days. Im tired, too tired to go on and ever since i started "listening" to what these assholes have to say my lifes gotten more annoying and complicated. I want out. Now and today.
• Whats the sense in being like this and even being alive? I really have nothing much to offer...
  i guess i give my doctor something to do, but other than that its useless.
  Been thinking all day, Im over, were over, its all over.
• I feel positive about it though, like im finally doing something RIGHT for once. No more burden.
  Ive done a bit of housework, tidied up and tried to tie up as many loose ends as possible in my life. Made a few phone calls and really taken care of some things. Feeling happy, strangely enough. Free.
• I know ill never be better, I accept that. doesnt matter much anymore. Things will be better 'up there" maybe. or down there, probably down there im not sure.

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• I have undiagnosed MPD. I know of 3 other personalities and what I like to call the "occasional tourist". All of them have names, distinct looks, and personalities that make them stick out. My pictures even look like different people.
   
   People that know me well know the names of my personalities. It's frustrating being with someone,though, that uses this as an excuse to not take responsibilities for their own actions.
• As I get older, I do find, that it does get harder to control. I'm so scared that one day I may wake up in a mental hospital and realize that my entire life was a huge delusion.
   
   I tried to commit suicide when I was 12 because I never felt in control of me. I suffer from an eating disorder quietly so that I don't put back into a hospital.
• I am also an empath. So now bundled with all the emotions of the people within, I have to listen to and take on the emotions of the people I come in contact with.
   
   I hear people's thoughts and even talk to the telepathically. My boyfriend hates this because I know the instant he lies to me. It's only then that he calls me crazy and all sorts of names.
• Am I crazy; or am I just an evolved individual with no guidance?

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• A lot has happened in my life in the last few months. I realized today I have multiple parts of me. I found out the hard way And I found out through being in a relationship with someone just like me. I feel beaten and battered and pushed and pulled- Used as a pawn in a battle between the part of me that supposedly protects I would guess, And the protective part of someone that I used to be in a relationship with.
• I feel like I was spit out today Left with the mess. In my mind the other protector won. I was the casualty of war. I don't want to put myself back together. Sorry for such a negative post. I like that around is negativity and pain for a long time now.

• I can't believe she did that.
  Stupid $%^($
• *WHY* would you bring that up?
  Sure, threaten us with hospitalization. Awesome.
  Make it seem like we can't trust anyone around us and if we become 'too much' that we'll be sent away into that place, drugged and never let us out again.
  Smooth move, idiot.
• Of course, then she's all like 'enh...but really you're not at that point yet'
  SO WHY THE HELL DID YOU BRING IT UP.
• 've lost touch with Mars. I miss him a lot.
  That or we've become blended/integrated so much we don't feel him anymore.
  He left Gwar in his place though -_-
  Bugger's been on the warpath lately.
• Little One has been out of control despondent and wailing more often then I'd like too, between those two it's some serious serious whiplash.
• But seriously though...she broke our trust. What was left.
  No matter how much I want to go back and get treatment...the alters are freaking up in arms.
  Which is just great, because it's not like I don't have a hard enough time trying to get Firebird and Gwar to do anything therapy-related as is.

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• Sometimes I'm observing an alter's dream, watching them go through it as if I'm invisible. And sometimes, when a new alter is going to make themselves known, they come to me in a dream a couple nights before they start coming out and talking to us.
• This has happened twice; the first time was in the middle of a normal-ish dream, and then suddenly someone switched with me, but I was co-conscious with them. That person was Ashley, and she didn't introduce herself so much as she forced herself into my dream and took it over. The second time was only a few days ago, with our newest alter, Katie.
• Again, it was a somewhat normal dream, but Katie switched just as Ashley had, though she sort of went through the dream as I was having it before, rather than making it her own. She introduced herself a couple days later.

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• Went to the dentist and took everything into consideration, blanket, pillow, soft thing. It is still kind of swollen and I am feeling kind of sorry for self and it comes with the attached senses that things are out-of-control. Then someone said it is okay to just rest till it gets better. Have to go again next week. Thanks. See ya.

• This article covers overall details about dissociative identity disorder (DID) and it also has the reason why that this DID is listed in top 10 weirdest medical conditions.
• Dissociative identity disorder is simply called DID and it is the name for multiple personality disorder. This means that there is more than one person in a body. In general spiritual life the people are get injured in order to recover out of it. Mostly, this disorder doesn’t have any age restriction it can be child or adult. There is studies for DID which says that people with DID have never been mistreated.
• Most of the people aware early as before they diagnosed that they have DID or not, they maximum feel the difference on them. It is possible to hear or sense about the people inside. It is really difficult to identify DID and it might also vary from person to person. Some people loss their time and conversations with others and few people lose their conscious. Mostly these people doesn’t aware what has happened on its surroundings. Some media has presented videos on DID which has more some details about few people with no resemblance.
• In this DID the most important that all you need to consider is just have the desires to realize what has happened and why it has happened. If you lost your proper communication with others, than it is the time to realize what is happening over your surroundings. Therefore, you should have habit of writing diary so that you may come to know your changes. If suppose you have question that you need answer for it, than you should start writing on a paper and simple leave and then start searching answer for it.
• Make sure, that you should have a support team with you when you have DID. Your team helps in protecting yourself, your family and even your child. In general, your support team will track your activities and make you in the right ways.
• Cause of DID is controversial, and they usually speak with debate. It leads to loss of memory and they fails to know what happening on their surroundings and they can even fails to sleep. This is the major reason why DID is considered as one of the most reason why that DID is listed in the top 10 weirdest medical conditions.

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• FreeMp3U Multiple Personality Disorder full documentary

• When people talk about "not remembering large parts of your childhood", for example. What does that mean? Does it mean specifically that, if someone tells you about that time in your life, it just won't ring a bell? Or is it normal for people to actually remember their entire lives as if it were a movie or a story in a book? (Like being able to remember virtually every significant level of detail that you want to — on your own, not just confirming something that someone else told you.)

• Do many actors struggle with Dissociative identity disorder?

• I am not quite sure how to begin this... I have been witness to other people's flashbacks (outside of our system), and often times, they report get significant clips of information. When I get a flashback, I get a 1-5 second clip of often one action, or even part of an action, instead of of the traumatic event itself.
• It is so fleeting and relatively inconclusive by itself, yet these flashes shake me up horribly. I have been attempting to write down what I am able of these clips, and put together they are often choppy and out of order. I suspect the clips are of multiple occurrences as the body is older or younger depending on the clip, and sometimes setting is different.
• I am not sure why these flashbacks are so fragmented. I am pretty sure they are mine (why else would I be the one getting them?) Is it common to get these 'mini' flashbacks or are most of them longer in length showing more of said event? I am rather confused about this and do not have the courage to talk about this in therapy.
  
  I apologize if this is vague. I am having a hard time talking about this topic.

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• Dissociative Identity Disorder -- Primal Fear, ft. Edward Norton and Richard Gere
   
   Edward Norton has been arrested for murdering a Catholic priest, apparently in retaliation for childhood sexual abuse. Richard Gere is his lawyer.
• The film is well worth watching in its entirety.
   
   The film seems to be inspired, in part, by the case of Kenneth Bianchi (one of the Hillside Stranglers):
• While he was in prison, Bianchi's attorney brought in a psychiatrist, Dr. John Watkins, to examine him. Watkins put Bianchi under hypnosis, got him to admit to several of the murders and to implicate his cousin, and then declared he had multiple personality disorder. He had killed as "Steve Walker" and thus was not competent to stand trial. Three more experts were convinced by his condition as well.
• This only annoyed the investigators. The prosecution decided to bring in its own expert, Dr. Martin Orne. Detectives had discovered "Steve Walker" was the name of a college student from whom Bianchi had stolen transcripts to set up his fake psychiatric practice, which suggested he knew enough about psychology to fake a personality disorder.
• Dr. Orne used a ploy: He suggested to Bianchi that most multiples have more than two personalities, and it wasn't long before Billy emerged. Bianchi also pretended to touch someone who was not there. Hallucinating is not a symptom of MPD, and they knew then Bianchi was faking it. Under pressure he admitted to the deception.

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• Trigger warning: mental confusion
• Anyone else here feel like you don't move through time, but time moves through you instead? Like things have always been, and are always going to be, just the way they are right now? Like there's no discernible difference between the moment and the lifetime? Like "the past" and "the future" exist, and maybe even occupy your mind too much, but are distinct and parallel planes that don't touch the plane of timelessness?...

• I have been working on communication between alters. Does anyone have tips?

•  

   A New Model of Dissociative Identity Disorder - ResearchGate 

  that dissociative symptom in persons who have dissociative identity disorder. 2 DSM-IV accounts for 2 of the 13 well-replicated dissociative symptoms of DID.

   http://www.researchgate.net/publication/7247074_A_new_model_of_dissociative_identity_disorder/file/9fcfd50fd969ee7029.pdf 

   

   

   

    

   Section I: DSM-5 Basics Section II: Diagnostic Criteria and Codes 

  DSM-5 Table of Contents DSM-5 Classification Preface Section I: DSM-5 Basics Introduction Use of the Manual ... Dissociative Identity Disorder Dissociative Amnesia

   http://www.psychiatry.org/File Library/Practice/DSM/DSM-5/DSM-5-TOC.pdf 

   

   

   

    

   Dissociative identity disorder: Time to remove it from DSM-V? 

  Current Psychiatry 30 September 2009 W hat is it about dissociative identity disorder (DID) that makes it a polarizing diagnosis? Why does it split professionals into ...

   http://www.currentpsychiatry.com/fileadmin/cp_archive/pdf/0809/0809CP_Article3.pdf 

   

   

   

    

   Dissociative Identity Disorder (Version 1-Final) 

  Treatment of Dissociative Identity Disorder Page 5 of 20 PART II: CLINICAL BEST PRACTICES ... (Structured Clinical Interview for DSM-IV Dissociative Disorders-

   https://www.ubhonline.com/html/pdf/coverageDetermGuidelines/consolidatedDID.pdf 

   

   

   

    

   Dissociative Identity Disorder 

  Dissociative Identity Disorder (Treatment) Michael Maisano PP7501 Adult Psychotherapy Cornelia Mare Pinnell, Ph.D. Argosy University, Phoenix Fall 2010

   http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/adultpsychopathology/images/7/7c/Dissociative_Identity_Disorder.pdf 

   

   

   

    

   Trauma and Stress-Related Disorders in DSM-5 - ISTSS | Home 

  DSM-5: Dissociative Disorders - 1 •Dissociative Identity Disorder: characterized by 2 or more personality states has incorporated “possession” as a non-Western

   http://www.istss.org/AM/Template.cfm?Section=Expert_Training_ISTSS_Conferences&Template=/CM/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=5910

• Katherine, who appears to be my internal self helper? She wants us to integrate. She doesn't care how much chaos this causes, because she wants us to "shine."
  I asked her how long this will take, she said two years...
  ... 8[ ...
  That's fast. Really fast.
• Basically...to de-encapsulate everyone, I get to find out and process what it was that caused them to split off in the first place, and it's some wretched stuff, of course.
  Plus, when the memories come back, it feels as if it just happened.  The emotions were boxed up along with the memory, see?
• ...I was about to say how did dad get away with all the awful stuff he did with mom not realizing?  ...She didn't want to know.  She really didn't want to see it.

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• I've seen it in person. A friend's doctor is circulating some of friend's autobiographical writing among her colleagues try to get other doctors to stop telling clients that their dissociative identity disorder is just whining. I had lean on him really hard to get him to tell his doctor (who he was already seeing for PTSD & depression) about the other personalities. He was able to tell her about the awful incident(s) relating to his PTSD, but DID was too much. He eventually had to call me into the room to tell his doctor for him, because he couldn't work up to telling her himself.
• It's by the single most stigmatized mental disorder. Some people treat you like shit if they find out you're schizophrenic, but at least they admit schizophrenia exists. And some of those skeptics are practicing doctors, so they give elaborate diagnoses like bipolar + poor memory + ADHD + schizophrenia + compulsive lying + whatever instead of admitting that there really is one diagnosis that explains both the full set of symptoms and why the cocktail of 8 different neuroactive drugs isn't helping.
• The personalities that consider themselves alternate are afraid treatment will entail a literal existential crisis for them, so they steer the person away from psychologists. When they do make it to a doctor, and the doctor tells them they're full of shit and prescribes them brain-melting bipolar drugs, they tend not to go back. It's vastly underreported.
• DID is real and serious business, and science has some catching up to do in the area. Psychologists have a long history of misunderstanding mental disorders for quite a long time before starting to figure them out. Just about every mental disorder has had to struggle for recognition. It is not supported by past results to claim that because many psychologists are skeptical of it it doesn't exist.

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• Who believes in this diagnosis? My perspective, having never seen a true case, and working with attendings who have worked for decades and claim to have never seen a case, is that it doesn't really exist. And that a better explanation is PTSD +/- personality disorder leading to dissociation symptoms.
   
   I'm open to any opinions for or against.
• Who believes in this diagnosis? My perspective, having never seen a true case, and working with attendings who have worked for decades and claim to have never seen a case, is that it doesn't really exist. And that a better explanation is PTSD +/- personality disorder leading to dissociation symptoms.
   
   I'm open to any opinions for or against.
• I've seen one case. I don't understand what do you mean though by "it doesn't exist". Ultimately it is defined purely based on presentation and symptoms like most of psychiatric diseases, rather than etiology. Even going by "PTSD +/- personality disorder", that seems to suggest that presentation is different from purely PTSD vs purely personality disorder, though that does provide more insight into the condition. I think the common belief that it is due to severe shock at a young age provides a decent explanation. Needless to say though, it is extremely interesting and more so for the fact that it seems to be confined to the Anglophone world.
• I've seen 2-3 in training. Borderline flavor. Severe trauma. Very sad.
• What I'm getting at is the possibility that a person's symptoms of DID are accounted for by severe PTSD with dissociation, or possibly PTSD and a personality disorder with dissociation. And that DID is not a separate diagnostic entity. I'm pretty sure this is a debated topic.
• Yes, but my point is that it's distinct enough in presentation from PTSD and even personality disorders that it does warrant its own category since after all of these diagnoses are based on symptoms and presentation. AFAIK, DID wouldn't fit at all with the common diagnostic criteria of PTSD (no necessary increased startle response or insomnia for example) despite the fact that shock is presumably important in the chain of events. From what I read, the skeptics base their arguments on that it's either psychotherapy induced or patients trying to fit the mold of the diagnosis rather than it being a genuine reaction to shock. The case of the patient I have seen was so severe that I really have a hard time believing the latter is true.
• as far as I see it, DID is no more "real" or "false" than PTSD in that they are largely cultural constructions which didn't exist in the recent past and are both hysterical conditions and both are malingered very frequently, or imputed such.
• 've seen so many dissociative fugues with PTSD and one true DID (no history of specific trauma), and I'm not even a resident yet. In other words, I wouldn't agree that a DID is always a subset of PTSD.
• I mean, when I get angry, my personality changes, I don't remember things quite as clearly, and I act differently than when I'm calm. If the anger is enough, maybe I can't control myself the same as when I'm calm either. Is that an alter? Like can I say, "oh that's John, he's a real son of a bitch....I have DID. I just lose control and don't know what happens, and minutes can go by or I can find myself in a different place suddenly because he takes me over and I don't remember anything." Or could this be just as easily described as a dissociative component of one of the diagnoses above. "And when I get sad, that's when Tony shows up and it's the same thing with not remembering what I'm doing, just laying around all day, aimless and pretty soon 8 hours have suddenly been lost just sitting on the couch and I don't know what's happened."
   
   If I were to come on to the board and question the existence of schizophrenia, everyone would think I was an idiot, or a scientologist, or that I had no experience because anyone who has worked for a month on inpatient psych has seen schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. The same certainly cannot be said for DID. So maybe it's just low prevalence of DID, or that it commonly travels with PTSD/borderline and gets missed, and if you're a cynic, the chances are low you would see that DID patient with a more pure (no other dx confounding) presentation and simply write it off as being from PTSD/borderline. Though uptodate says prevalence is 1.3% of population, which is slightly more than schizophrenia I believe; I'm not sure where these patients are. Perhaps if you're looking for DID, you will extend PTSD/borderline dissociation to fit the diagnosis.
• I believe it exists because I've seen 3 people have it and had no reason to malinger, nor were they seeking attention so I don't believe they had factitious disorder. Those three I had for several months, so I was confident in their diagnosis.
   
   That said, I also agree that if one sees a possible case of it to be very very suspicious and only use DID as a treatment of exclusion, ruling everything out first including malingering and factitious disorder.
• There is a rather sad and established history of mental health providers creating false memories in someone of being raped/molested as a child. "Of course you were molested by your father, you just blocked it out. I know you love your father, but only someone who was molested would have bulimia. Here's a book, it'll convince you that you were raped. I'm going to put you in a group therapy session filled with other rape victims until you tell me you were raped."
   
   Then to add insult to injury, some quack psychiatrists, if a patient started to entertain they may have been raped, told the patient they could do a sodium amobarbital interview (truth serum) and if they mentioned rape during the interview it'd be 100% proven they were raped.
   
   Now this is despite the facts that a sodium amobarbital interview is nowhere close to 100% accurate, having an eating disorder doesn't mean one was molested, etc.
  
• An epidemic of legal cases sprang up in the 80s with bogus lawyers, psychologists and psychiatrists charging top dollar claiming they could prove a person was molested using highly questionable methods such as sodium amobarbital, or having the person sit in a box with a blinking red light that'd help them to find memories submerged. When the courts finally became aware that submerged memory treatments were bogus, all of a sudden those cases just magically vanished.
   
   So too did this sad practice go on with DID.
   
   Again, I believe it exists, just that if you see it, be very suspicious.
• Sadly this sort of bogus therapy still takes place. Had an online support forum acquaintance, not particularly close or anything, but the dealings I did have with her she seemed to be a pretty standard BPD with PTSD case, and she was being treated as such. Then she found this new you beaut therapist who specialised in regressional hypnotherapy and memory retrieval through guided imagery type stuff, and all of a sudden she's remembering ritual abuse perpetrated by her Grandparents, and 12 or so 'alters' spring up out of nowhere. Haven't seen or spoken to her for ages, but I can only open she managed to get out of this quack's clutches and back to a decent therapist that can help her put her mind, and her family back together
• In the case I saw it was quite impossible to fake the amnesia and all the complexities. If there was some form of exaggeration, then it's certainly all in the unconscious, but I don't think in the end that's quite relevant in regards to day to day management or that it lessens the strength of the diagnosis.

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