Apple Ling's List: Genre:Humour

*Cuteness!! Like WHOA!! ♥♥♥♥♥
Non-magical AU. Super assistant/secretary!Draco. Cute Draco + Weasley bromance/friendship/hilarious boss+assistant (PR agency run by Augusta Longbottom) relationship. Draco's impeccable fashion taste (and the way he chooses his Weasley boss' clothes for him, because Weasley does not have a single fashion conscious bone in his body. That, and he kept staining his clothes with food stuff) Cute Draco + Pansy friendship (and gossip sessions) and the League of Snarky Secretaries. Cute toddler Teddy and big bro!Draco relationship. Andromeda dotes on Draco. Harry's love of all things coffee. Mean!Harry at first (but he has a very good reason for his asshole-ish behaviour, you'll see).

Summary: Draco is Weasley’s assistant. Except for the week he’s not. Whose brilliant idea was that again? Featuring offices in Edinburgh, an epic Measley Bromance (that no one will admit exists), several unrequited crushes, fantastical revenge scenarios, coffee snobbery, the dreaded – yet adorable – toddler terror, promises of organ swapping, a play about Scottish history (no one cares), sequins, and the League of Snarky Secretaries!

*OMG! Uber cuteness!! ♥♥♥♥♥
8th year AU (Draco is a Spy for the Order of the Phoenix and Lucius and Narcissa dies). Told from Draco's pov - Draco-centric narrative. Basically, Draco is head-over-heels smitten with Harry (and every part of Harry's limbs) but is much too shy/confused about his feelings/libido to tell Harry. When Harry finds out Draco has a huge 'thing' for him, well... Harry keeps ambushing Draco all over the castle to kiss, grope and enjoy Draco's moans, squeaks, yelps, yips and all kinds happy noise :p Also, it's cute how Draco works through his sexuality crisis with endless babbling inner monologues about Harry (and parts of Harry's body)
#The lengthy, graphic penetration sex scene is bottom!Draco and a brief description of Bottom!Harry (bottoming from the top) right at the bottom (and right after the bottom!Draco part)

Summary: Draco worries about his libido. Harry takes it all in stride.

*Cute! ♥♥♥♥♥
Tee hee! 8th year. Harry crushes on Draco and uses the Giant Squid to get Draco's attention! OMG! This is beyond cute! A teensy little bit of dub-con-ish moments when Draco got fondled by the Squid. Also, swimming lessons at Hogwarts and the boys in skimpy bathing trunks! Also featuring Blaise and Pansy as Draco's protective best friends :p

Summary: Draco has a stalker, or is it a secret admirer? What does Potter have to do with it?

*Cuteness!! ♥♥♥♥♥ Exactly what the summary says :p

Summary: Draco wakes up wedded, bedded and screwed.

*Utterly adorable ♥♥♥♥♥ :p
Very cute fic told from clueless!canon!Ron's (Auror!Ron) pov. Field Auror!Harry. Draco is an adorably quirky (and snarky) researcher in the (very messy) Analytical Lab in the DMLE. Featuring a newly married!Ron/Hermione, the magically cluttered and messy environment of the Analytical Lab, Draco using a brightly multi-coloured filing system with a an assortment of cutesy clips/hairpins as paper clips, Draco being a bit of a pariah in the Ministry before Ron took to befriending him, cute Ron/Draco friendship (thought it look distinctly endearing as a big brother+little brother relationship with Ron as the big brother and Draco the petulant and whiny little brother - Ron flicks Draco on the forehead :p), Ron unintentionally matchmaking Harry and Draco together, cute Harry/Draco moments with Ron being oblivious to the nature of their relationship, being kidnapped and then escaping from their captors, awesome magical theories/details, being handcuffed together #No sex scenes
Smooch Fest link: http://hd-smoochfest.livejournal.com/111217.html

Summary: When Hermione rushes off to the Amazon, Ron is left to handle their brooding third wheel but he's never been especially good with emotional problems. Somehow, he drags Malfoy into the mix and the stupid Ferret steals the show.

*Tee hee! Absolutely hilarious! 8th year. Exactly what the summary says :p
Pairings included: Harry/Draco, Hermione/Ron (Hermione/Book), Ginny/Luna, surprise cameo for the Giant Squid + Bane (Centaur)... other surprise pairings. Featuring a snarky!Cupid and other cute silliness

Summary: After thousands of years, you'd think the God of Love would have learnt by now not to insult his mother. The punishment? Temporary exile in a castle full of teenagers. Because Aphrodite is evil

*Auror!Harry (with Auror partner!Zach Smith), Daily Prophet's star reporter and youngest millionaire/publisher/owner of the Daily Prophet and its other subsidiaries!Draco. Basically Harry has the hots for Draco but is deeply in denial (and in the closet) and so Harry pines (and surfs the internet for porn. Lots and lots of gay porn). Draco wants Harry too but is too stubborn and prideful to admit it (so he's all bitchy). Zach has issues with his sexuality (so he passes off as a foul-mouthed homophobe most of the time). In the mean time, someone is out to kill all (ex) Death Eaters (while Harry and Draco are cooped up in a safe house and are slowly dying of sexual frustration). Zach and Draco are pretty vulgar sometimes, but Zach's vulgarity usually involves homophobic slurs while Draco's vulgarity is.... well, he fancies himself a sexual deviant... a sex god. Also, I don't know why... but I find Draco's passion for his work and his bragging about being a top-notch writer/reporter is TEH CUTE!! And erm, at one point Draco offers Harry sexual favours in exchange for a story :p #Implied switching but graphic sex scenes are all deliciously top!draco

Summary: Harry/Draco. When former Death Eater informants start turning up dead, Auror Harry Potter must take star Daily Prophet reporter (and owner) Draco Malfoy into protective custody.

*OMG UBER CUTETASTIC!!! ♥♥♥♥♥
Cute Harry and Draco bond in a fluffy situation brought about by a potions mishap. A Draco with his inhibitions let loose is startlingly shy, a bit weepy but adorable in his enthusiasm to befriend Harry. Draco is also a cuddle bug (tee hee!) A Harry with his inhibitions let loose tends to babble... a lot (so cute!), mostly about Draco. They giggle and cuddle and have PG13 kissy sexytimes and confess their inner most secrets (including their not-so-secret obsession with each other and sexuality issues) to each other :D

Summary: A potions accident involving Harry and Draco leads startling personal revelations and happy snogging-times

*EPIC CUTENESS!! DELICIOUSLY ADORABLE LIKE WHOA!! ♥♥♥♥♥
Ex-Auror turned DADA Professor!Harry who, after being fed up with all the ridiculous unofficial biographies of him that were released post-war to speculate on his life, signed some publication contracts to officially release a series of books (a biography of his Hogwarts days) with his permission (exclusive interviews about his life).... Think Ms Rowling's Potter books because in this story, those books are apparently written based on Harry's official account of his Hogwarts days (one book per Hogwarts year). From those books, the "general public" developed a "theory" that Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are secretly in love. A tipsy!Draco decided to seek Harry out one evening to prove the theory right :p #All sex scenes happened behind the screen. Uber cuteness! Oblivious!Harry, Oblivious!Draco

Summary: Eleven years after the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry is approached one evening at the Three Broomsticks by Draco Malfoy, who claims that thanks to the publication of Harry's official biography, everybody in the wizarding world has come up with a very interesting theory about the two of them.

*Bottom!Draco. Am gonna just link straight to Dracogotgame's Livejournal because EVERYTHING and ANYTHING Harry/Draco by Dracogotgame is the EPITOME OF CUTENESS! ♥♥♥♥♥

And I physically and mentally incapable of just picking a couple of fics out of the TON LOADS OF GOODNESS that can be found in her lj. Absolutely fluff-tastic!

*Cuteness!! Basically Harry and Draco works for the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes. They share an office together. It's Valentine's Day and there are a lot of magical 'accidents' all over the muggle world, so it's their job to fix them all. Draco is petulant and frustrated. Harry finds comfort in flirting with Draco.... and there are people Polyjuicing themselves into Draco for some kinky Polyjuice-sex, which horrifies Draco :D

Summary: In which Draco is petulant, Harry is amused, romantic gestures play havoc with the Statute of Secrecy, and everyone wants to steal some of Draco's hair.

*Cuteness!! Hogwarts-era. Harry has a wailing mistletoe (singing off key Christmas carols) following him everywhere. Draco is determined to stop it from singing :D #Pre-slash. No sex (duh!)

Summary: "Malfoy," Harry greeted warily, after the silence had dragged on for an uncomfortable amount of time. "Potter," Malfoy replied, looking thoroughly irritated about something. "Your plant is still singing." -:- Harry is being followed around by an enchanted, singing mistletoe. Happy holidays, a few months early. Reviews are very much appreciated.

*Cute, sexy fluff! Aurors!Harry and Draco. Draco is also a Spy for the Ministry (to keep an eye on the stupid!Death Eaters that are in hiding). Basically, there is a new Death Eater on the block and he's charismatic and smart... and he wants Harry dead. Draco tries his best to keep Harry alive, while Harry refuse to stop flirting with Draco. Harry's excessive flirting and Gilderoy Lockhart-like obnoxious behavior makes Draco think Harry isn't serious about liking Draco so Draco shies away from Harry's numerous attempts at wooing Draco. Draco ended up saving Harry several (Draco is Harry's sort-of-bodyguard) times and becoming a hero! CUTE HARRY-COURTS-DRACO!FIC #No sex scenes (yet)

Summary: Draco just wants to do his job and keep the newly competent Death Eaters from assassinating Potter. Potter just wants to flirt with him. It is not much fun to be Draco Malfoy right now.

*OMGOMGOMG THE CUTEST, FLUFFIEST THING EVER!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥
Non-magical AU with Ron as the class bully instead of Draco. Kiddies!Harry and Draco... and everyone else. Draco is the new kid, tiny and arrogant and he loves maths (Harry hates maths) and he's brilliant at vocabulary.... and he defends Harry, but is rather bad at making friends because of his arrogance (LOL!). Cutest fluffiest ending! Pre-slash.

Summary; Father's Day isn't any fun if you haven't got a father. Harry knows all about not having fun.

*OMG SO HILARIOUS I NEARLY DIED LAUGHING ~~SQUEEEEE ♥♥♥♥♥♥
Basically Harry and a drama queen-ish Draco bond over strawberry jam... or rather, the sad lack of strawberry jam in Hogwarts. From there, they become co-conspirators and almost-friends... and they plot to get their hands on strawberry jam. Blaise has a thing for an oblivious!Draco and so does Harry as time passes (Blaise gets jealous). Draco is a prat but a cute one LOL! Uber cutetastic!!!

Summary: Harry's luck runs amuck and there is spam but not jam and... Really, it isn't Harry's fault Malfoy's stupid hair is so shiny or his Secret Hidden Depths are so buried.

*GAH!! SEXY AND CUTE!! *loves*
Head Auror!Harry. Draco is trying to avoid being blamed for a crime he did not commit, so he tries his best to get Harry to listen to him (he stalks Harry... sort of). Magical lubricant. Ron being Ron and Zach Smith being an arsehole as usual. Harry/Draco interrogation scene that ended with sexytimes (Bossy sub!Draco). Happy ending for everyone (except for Ron's sanity because Harry started dating Draco :D)

Summary: When Astoria Malfoy is investigated for opening an underground lubricant business targeted at Muggles (to painful effect), an irate Draco comes to Harry, though Harry doesn't quite know why. What Harry does know is that he's noticing very odd things about Malfoy. (Who knew Malfoy had such long eyelashes?)

*OMG CUTENESS!! SWEET FLANGSTY STORY ♥♥♥♥♥
Basically, Harry wants to return Draco's wand to him. So he tracked Draco down and found out Draco has left the Wizarding world behind to live with muggles. Draco has his reasons for choosing to go muggle and Harry wants to help. Cute, sweet flangst happens! Draco + Goyle best friends. Thin yet feisty and prickly!Draco with a thing for oversized jumpers and muggle boy bands. Cute Harry and Draco bonding moments (Harry finds almost everything Draco does is endearing - wanting to wrap Draco in a blanket and other fluffy stuff). Draco lashes out something awful whenever he feels vulnerable. Harry seeing an apparition of sorts of Draco in one of his Auror training sessions and it finally made him realize how deeply his feelings are for Draco. Lost of magic, but with happy ending. Oh, and supportive!Weasleys (and Hermione).

Summary: Malfoy has disappeared, and Harry tracks him down because . . . he's Harry Potter. Expecting to save Malfoy from worldly evils, he is surprised to find him living as a Muggle and listening to ponce boy bands.

*GAAHHH!! SO BRILLIANT AND SWOON-WORTHY! DEFINITELY ONE OF MY TOP FAVES EVER ~~SQUEEEEEE ♥♥♥♥♥
Auror!Harry. Draco is the Junior Undersecretary for the Department of Domestic Magical Cooperation. Basically it's about Percy Weasley (head of the department of Magical Law Enforcement), tries to unfairly punish anyone who's even remotely connected to the death eaters, whether by acquaintance or by blood, and Harry and friends try to stop him and protect Draco and his friends from Percy. Draco has always been a little bit in love with Theo Nott and Pansy Parkinson is such a darling. Theo is 100% straight and is oblivious to Draco's feelings... so Harry comforts Draco and they bond as friends.... but eventually it becomes more :D Hermione and her parents babysits Pansy while Theo and Blaise are sent into hiding elsewhere. Draco has a nice gentlemanly boss who adores him and a sweet assistant called Broderick Wellingham who's very loyal and protective of Draco :D Various other interesting OCs whom Draco befriends - Periwinkle Brown, Auror Armitage, Auror Savage, Auror Williamson, Daily Prophet journalist: Tobias Leamington, among other people. The revival of the Order of the Phoenix by Harry and gang for the express purpose of helping to protect the Slytherins and stop Percy. Harry running for Ministry of Magic in an election with his usual gang of friends (plus Draco - He runs the media for Harry's campaign). Percy eventually tries to hurt Harry by targeting Draco and everyone rushes to try save Draco. Protective!Dangerous!Narcissa and Harry promises her he'd always protect Draco. Blaise Zabini and the "ferret fugitive" LOL!

Summary: Memories of the war are still fresh, which is all the excuse Decent People need to do appalling things. In this quietly waged conflict, Draco Malfoy is happy to be on the right side of things for once, and even happier to find he's not alone.

*SO AMAZING I'M ALL TEARY-EYED BECAUSE THIS IS... GAAH, SO AWESOME I CAN'T FIND WORDS WORTHY ENOUGH TO DESCRIBE ITS AWESOMENESS!! ♥♥♥♥♥
Auror!Harry (with Auror partner!Ron) and a rebellious!Draco who has suddenly decide he needs to face all his fears before it's too late (he has a list of things he wants to do and he asks Harry to help him). Harry is reckless, more than usual, in this story and Ron (and everyone else who knows Harry) thinks Harry has a serious death wish, which to be honest isn't that far from the truth. Frightened!Quirky!Earnest!Draco with his fears, insecurities and desperation to face all of them, actually grounds Harry and stops him from doing crazy reckless things that could get him killed. Draco with his weird theories of muggles (especially muggle women LOL!) and his hilarious visit to the Dursleys (with a magical potted plan that gives you rabbit ears!!). Flying on a hippogriff, facing werewolves (Draco's boggart is a werewolf), bonding moments and hilarious chats with Harry. Sexytimes (Draco bruises way too easily), Harry's tattoos and angst and the discussion of feelings and Harry and Draco bonds for real and then happy, happy ending!
#Heavily implied switching, graphic and detailed penetrative sex scene is bottom!Draco. In other scenes, Harry was the one on the receiving end of a lovely rim-job and fingering.... unfortunately, nothing more than that. Regardless of Top/Bottom, every sex scene is sinfully delicious!!

Summary: "There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance." -- John Lennon

*The Malfoys were stripped of their magic as punishment for their war crimes. Quirky!Draco who bravely accepts his magic-less fate rather candidly. Cute mixture of both muggle (because Draco's magic-less and has a sudden interest in muggles) and magical details. Some exchange of letters between Harry and Draco that started everything. Sexy semi-public wanking *drools* and an in-denial!Harry (but finds himself irresistibly drawn to Draco anyway) What I love most of this fic is that there is nothing special about Draco - not super gorgeous or super smart or a sad misunderstood boy - he's as average as any other boy and Harry still finds himself obsessed and attracted to Draco :D
#No penetrative sex but there's some super sexy wanking ~squeeeeee!

Summary: Draco has lost his magic, and Harry has never been truly convinced of his own, which is just two more reasons in a long list of why they belong together.