Apple Ling's List: Depression/Trauma

*8th year. Angsty hurt/comfort with a fluffy ending. Featuring Jittery!Prone to panic attacks!Depressed!Apathetic!Draco... basically this has an emotionally damaged!Draco like whoa! And a Pining!Obsessively stalker-like!Harry who's lost and wanted desperately to belong. Brief Harry/Ginny and Draco/Astoria (past Draco/Pansy). Not-Evil!Slytherins who genuinely care for Draco. Contains severe depression and anxiety that manifested in some form of numb, apathetic behavior + suicidal thoughts. Eating disorder. Nightmares and severe panic attacks. At one point Draco nearly gets himself killed and Harry rescues him. Stressful exams and classes. Touching H/D bonding moments and Draco/Astoria moments.
#Sex scenes happen off-screen.

Summary: Shortly after the war, Draco Malfoy wakes up with a new understanding, and Harry Potter needs firmer ground to walk on. Unfortunately, life is never easy, especially with the burdens of N.E.W.T.s looming closer. As Draco struggles to maintain his sanity, Harry is back to his old routine-stalking Draco.

*8th year. Lonely!Bitter!Regretful-yet-still-prickly-and-defensive!Draco (and a little bit resentful for the way everything turned out for his family post-war), and a Harry who stalks/follows Draco all over the castle trying to help. "Vulnerable!Draco" tag is to make up for "Emotionally Damaged!Draco". Told mostly from Draco's pov. Sad!Pansy and Sad!Goyle. Featuring Draco being mean to others on purpose to make up for his "relapse" in showing vulnerability (which happens more often than not), Draco being bullied (a little bit) and shunned by other Slytherins, Draco crying or feeling on the verge of tears a lot, nightmares + insomnia + stealing potion ingredients to brew Dreamless Sleep, Harry trying to befriend a prickly!Draco, Draco writing letters to Ollivander but pretending to be someone else, H/D and some tricky bit of wandlore/magical wand bonding that has one of them experiencing the other's magic/dreams and H/D secret relationship, suicidal thoughts.
#Sex scenes all happen behind the screen so there's no way to tell who Tops/ Bottoms

Summary: There are things that Malfoys simply don't do. They don't cry, or show any emotion unless entirely unavoidable. They don't back down. And they certainly don't admit that maybe, just maybe, they might be wrong about a few things.

Draco's back for his eighth year, and with everything that's changed, these basic rules will soon be called into question.

*Aching and angsty but such GOOD pain! ♥♥♥♥♥
Timeline spanning from middle of the war to directly post-war. Basically Harry and Ron got caught by Death Eaters and were thrown into a dingy dungeon cell in Malfoy Manor where they were tortured (sexual, physical and mental) for information. Draco is secretly on their side (sneaking healing potions and food to the prisoners). Featuring graphic descriptions of torture and rape, molestation, heavy usage of Dark curses, painful scarring and branding of the skin, Dark bondage spells meant to stretch, pull, hurt and burn the skin. Draco forced to sexually violate Harry (in case you find this part confusing --> *he fisted Harry*), unintentionally Harry did breached Draco's personal barriers and defenses too - in a way, violating Draco back, killing Voldie, hiding in a Safe House, helplessly smitten!pining!Draco who is deeply regretful of what he had done to Harry - part of Harry understands and wants to forgive but the other part of him can't get over the trauma (for Harry it wasn't about the pain or rape but he's traumatized over losing control to another), Draco trying to redeem himself after, unintentional Legilimency (the sharing of minds), wandless magic (Harry), H/D bonding moments, H/D hurt/comfort moments, adopting a stray kitty, sexy quietly assertive and dominant!Harry and a sub!Draco.
To note: Harry was sexually violated in a lot of ways but never with penile penetration, Ron's violation involve forced penile penetration. And while in the dungeon, Harry is made vulnerable to Draco but after, Draco is made very much vulnerable to Harry - both their enforced state of vulnerability deal with violation of their person but of different kinds. Strong!Harry and Ron, despite everything. Minor character death that is not Harry or Ron or Draco.
#Top!Harry/Bottom!Draco sexy sex scenes

Summary: A damaged-but-not-broken Harry in the clutches of Death Eaters and a caught-up-in-circumstances Draco who's not actually evil.

*One of the hurt/comfort classics in the H/D part of fandom. Featuring a vulnerable!needy!Draco (he also cries a lot) with symptoms of Multiple Personality Disorder/Dissociative Identity Disorder (with references to past abuse and torture - sexual,magical, physical and mental abuse - which resulted in breaking his mind), and Harry as his caregiver/guardian + eventual lover. Other memorable things to take note: Evil!Slytherins (and Lucius and the Death Eaters), Narcissa committing suicide, one of Draco's "other" personalities include a 6-year-old child, Draco has a penchant for climbing into Harry's lap for comfort or tucking his face in the crook of Harry's shoulder, Harry helping Draco get dressed/bathe... even lulling him to sleep, Ron getting angry at Harry, an old Black protection curse - the Ancestral Rite, getting kidnapped by baddies, having nightmares, teenage angst, teenage lusty hormones :p Happy ending
#Mostly bottom!Draco. 1 bottom!Harry scene in between flashbacks of bottom!Draco in the last chapter. *fans self* Sexy!

Summary: When Draco Malfoy's mental health mysteriously declines, he is placed under the care of the only person he responds to: Harry Potter. Includes mental disorders (paranoid schizophrenia, Dissociative Identity Disorder, post-traumatic stress).

*Absolutely beautiful!! ♥♥♥♥♥
Basically Harry's stuck in a cursed sleep and Draco is the one tasked to take care of him. Along the way, Draco falls in love with Harry and angst over the impossibility of being with Harry. Happy ending! *Absolutely love ending scene* #No penetrative sex scenes

Summary: Harry's cursed with the Sleeping Beauty curse. And in order to protect him, he's put into protected hiding until a cure can be found. And Draco's got to pay for the war somehow.

*Absolutely beautiful! ♥♥♥♥♥
Auror!Harry who is also a dog animagus nicknamed Fluffy :p Blind!Draco (who is also a writer - He writes gay romance novels) and Harry is his bodyguard.
Basically Draco finds himself blind after an attack in Diagon Alley. Auror!Harry offers to pose as Draco's guide dog (in animagus form). Harry makes an adorable dog and is sweet and protective and PERFECT! Draco is terribly insecure, very self-punishing and has basically lost of faith in the Wizarding World he has left behind to live in the Muggle world, but doggy!Harry and Harry himself, gives him back his happiness and confidence. Draco collects old, discarded books because he couldn't bear to throw them away (aww!). Cute H/D bonding and hurt/comfort moments. Also, cute flustered!Harry moments when he finds himself attracted to Draco. And cute Draco+doggy!Harry moments. Plus, the cutest, fluffiest ending ever *loves*
Smooch Fest link: http://hd-smoochfest.livejournal.com/110188.html

Summary: Don't think of it as losing your sight. Think of it as gaining an Animagus who never quite learned the meaning of the word 'boundaries'.

*Gentle, quiet and romantic ~~happy sigh~~ ♥♥♥♥♥
Ex-Professional Quidditch player!Harry (for the Canons) turned owner of a lovely pub in Hogsmeade!Harry (The pub's name is "The Stag and Flower"). Private potions (and potion ingredients) supplier turned Potions Professor at Hogwarts!Draco. Past Draco/Astoria (and she's quite a cunning bitch in this) and Harry/OMC (and that OMC is a total bastard!). Featuring Ron/Hermione and Ginny as Harry's close friends, Harry's knee injury, Draco being lonely and depressed, Drunk!Draco, Draco with lovely, long hair, Sympathetic (to Draco's plight)!Harry, Harry walking Draco home, a little bit of a love triangle between Harry/Draco/Harry's ex (with Harry in the middle) sweet fluff. #No sex scenes. Just a sweet, slow and convincing buildup to H/D getting together :p

Summary: When Harry's life is turned upside down, he decides to start over. In so doing, he learns that he and Draco Malfoy might have more in common than he ever could have imagined.

*Ex Head Auror!Harry turned host of a homely lodging/bed and breakfast sort of thing (a Cumbrian manor which also happens to be H/D's home), Potions Master!Draco. Established H/D (civil partnership). Ginny + Astoria friendship. Epilogue compliant with teenage Next Gen (everybody being friends with everybody with the minor exception of James Sirius... because he hates Draco's presence in his father's life)
#Basically someone dies, everybody suspects Draco did it, Harry does his best to protect Draco, Ron and the Aurors investigate, Draco angsts (and War-related fears start bubbling close to the surface again, leaving him tensed, worried and scared most of the time), Arabella Figg plays detective. Oh, and a scary but minor hostage scene and a (near fatal) injury scene.

Summary: "There's a dead Ministry official sprawled across the sitting room floor," I announce before collapsing into a chair at the kitchen table. "This can't be good for bookings."

*Harry works at the Department for the Prevention of Magical Mischief... and Draco is an unrepentant troublemaker :p
Lonely!Frustrated!Harry (who can be quite mean and petty) has anger issues.... and other issues. And he's also mopey and depressed. All the petty (but funny) mischief Draco gets up to on a daily basis (and gets dragged to and/or arrested by Harry's department) doesn't at all help Harry's frustration either. Harry wants Draco punished but Draco on the other hand, wants to help Harry find his happiness again. H/D hugs and quidditch matches and bets and running around naked and sexytimes :p

Summary: Everyone always told Harry to grow up. Now that he has, when is the promised happiness going to arrive?

*SO MUCH LOVE ~~squeeeee! ♥♥♥♥♥
Auror trainee!Harry, Unspeakable!Draco (Redeemed!Draco), Auror!Ron. There's just one more obstacle in Harry's way before becoming a fully fledged Auror: the Maze of Lost Thoughts; a magical maze that tests a person's psyche. In Harry's case, it's a test to help him confront and move on from his past regrets/mistakes. He bumps into Draco while inside the Maze and things took a very interesting UST-y feel :D Featuring a redeemed!endearingly mature!Draco, a angry!frustrated!Harry (the poor darling has lots of unresolved issues), a supportive!Ron, some emotional insecurities/trauma on Harry's part, Draco's memories and pensieves, the Unbreakable Vow, Draco's scars and a happy ending. Plus some kissy, huggy sexytimes.
#No penetrative sex scenes.

Summary: The Maze of Lost Thoughts is the most feared trial for the Auror trainees.

*HD_Holidays fic :p ~SOOOO DELICIOUS~ ♥♥♥♥♥
DADA Professor and also the Head of Task Safety for the Triwizard Tournament!Harry. Dumstrang Dark Arts Professor!Draco. Head over heels in lust and pining endlessly!Harry. Lonely!Depressed!Recluse!Harry. Both men have lost so much in the War and each have his own set of issues to work through and yet, they fit beautifully together... despite all their flaws and the fact that they're opposites of each other. Realistic transition from "Stay away from me, I hate you" to awkward friendship to almost-friends to fuck buddies and eventually leading to a happy ending. H/D bonding over booze and sharing Triwizard Task notes (and deciphering the aforementioned notes). H/D infidelity because Draco is dating Pansy.
#Can't tell if this is b!D or b!H because the sex scenes happen offscreen but who cares! This is uber delicious!

Summary: The Tri-Wizard Tournament is returning to Hogwarts to mark the ten-year anniversary of the defeat of Voldemort. When Draco walks off the Durmstrang ship, Harry, now a Hogwarts professor, is thrown by an unexpected attraction. Over the course of the next year, he will have to deal with those feelings as well as the aftermath of the war, something he has put off for far too long.

*Deliciously angsty but with a happy, fluffy ending! *loves* ♥♥♥♥♥
Very unique and original plot when it comes to the clashing/merging of different Universes or Alternate Universes kind of plot. A nice blend of Potter-verse Epilogue compliant and a new Alternate Universe without Harry's existence (in which no one remembers Harry except for Draco). Basically, Draco realizes one morning that his entire universe has changed and that his best friend and the love of his life, Harry Potter no longer exists in his world and he wants some answers. Most of the Harry/Draco parts were told from Draco's flashbacks prior to the sudden plunge into an Alternate Universe. Contains Harry+Draco friendship in the Epilogue compliant world even though they both loved each other in secret (because they're both married with wives and children). Cute Scorpius. A teensy bit of Astoria bashing. Harry being blessed with the power of Old Magick. James and Lily Potter's (Harry's parents) sad, so very sad fate (Okay, I'll admit I find parts with James and Lily very painful to read *sniffles*). Warning for suicide but there's a happy ending for everybody, especially Harry and Draco. #No sex scenes

Summary: One day, Draco woke up in a world where Harry Potter didn't exist.

*~~SQUEEEEEEE!!! LOVELIEST PRE-SLASH DRARRY EVER ♥♥♥♥♥
8th year!fic. Brooding!Lost!Harry. Quiet!Lonely!Draco. Basically, Harry finds himself aimless and rather moody after the war because he doesn't quite know what he wants or what he wants to do with his life. In the midst of all the brooding he has been occupying himself with, he starts obsessing over Draco again. Ron/Hermione + everyone else worries. #No sex (duh! It's pre-slash)

Summary: A large portion of Harry's life had been spent leading up to one thing, and now that that thing was done, he had no idea how to move on to the next thing. What even was the next thing? Probably something to do with Malfoy.

*OH, GLORIOUS, SO GLORIOUS ANGST! EPIC!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥
Draco-centric. Philanthropist!Draco and he works part time in St Mungos. Past Harry/Draco relationship. Draco has intimacy issues (amongst others, like self-esteem issues). Harry left. Draco pines and goes into depression. A little bit of Harry/OMC and Draco/OMC as they both tries (and fails) to move on. Ron/Hermione as friends who genuinely cares for Draco. Pansy as Draco's close friend. Harry's enchanted Everlasting candle on their bedside. A shared magical journal between Harry and Draco. Draco seeing a muggle psychiatrist for the depression. Past attempted suicide. Draco working with children. Angsty flashbacks to the times Harry and Draco were still together. HAPPY DRARRY ENDING!!

Summary: They say that when a person loses one of their senses, the others heighten in an attempt to make up for the lack. I think he must have been one of mine. I notice such insignificant things now that I never had before. I can almost taste the sunrise, like vanilla and tangerines blended into one smooth, delicious, summertime kiss. I sit in the park across the street from home, watching the day begin. The sun peeks over the horizon in a futile attempt to catch a glimpse of the night sky that is now retreating in its presence, for no two things so entirely opposite could ever coexist in the same place at the same time...I wonder how that escaped our notice for so long.

*Oh, so cute!
Harry helps Draco with his grief... plus, he has decided that he wanted to court Draco. References to Draco drowning his sorrows in alcohol before being carried off to Harry's place to be cuddled and courted. Also, Draco's fractured finger in a muggle cast that envelops his palm. Friendly!Supportive!Hermione :D #No penetrative sex scenes

Summary: Draco lost some one close to him. He gets help in the form of Harry Potter.

*ANGSTY WAR!FIC, BUT IT HURTS SO GOOD *sniffles* ♥♥♥♥♥♥
A different take on the 'Sectumsempra bathroom scene' in HBP - except, it didn't happen. Harry Summoned Draco's wand out of his hand instead of casting 'Sectumsempra' - so instead of saving Draco from Fiendfyre, Harry saved Draco that day in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Harry and Draco stuck in Grimmauld Place (alone - because Kreacher and the screaming bitch of a portrait doesn't count) for their protection (locked in by wards). Faking Draco's death, severe (gore-y, bloody, torture-filled) nightmares, trauma and so much fear and angst and crying... and comfort sex (post-nightmare). Alcoholic!Depressed!Broken!Draco. Noble!Protective!Smitten!Harry. Lots of sexy angsty desperate!sex with Harry trying and failing to be noble (he didn't want to take advantage of a depressed!broken!Draco) - omg the blowjob scene in the drawing room! Attempted suicide, more angst but with happy Harry/Draco ending.

Summary: If you had only died when you were meant to, I'd have grown up in a wizarding world already ruled by the Dark Lord. I wouldn't be screaming at you in a sixth floor bathroom. I wouldn't be raising my wand, Crucio on my lips.

*OMG this made me cry! Poor Draco! *sniffles* It has a happy ending though - he has Harry and Harry will never let him get hurt again.
READ THE WARNINGS! CONTAINS PAST CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE (No, Lucius is NOT the abuser this time)

Fic excerpt:
“I don’t know how to say this, either. I’ve never really said it before. But there were a few times, when I was a kid, that stuff happened to me. I mean… what I mean is, the type of stuff you don’t normally talk about. I never really talked about it… I said that already, didn’t I? But it’s true.” Draco stopped and breathed in deeply. He still felt Harry’s hand in his own, and he squeezed it. Harry squeezed back.

*Drama, drama, DRAMAAAAA!!
Harry/Draco and Lucius/Narcissa as the main pairings. Past Ron/Hermione and George/Hermione as a side pairing. Major character death (that happened before the story timeline - not Harry or Draco, not Lucius or Narcissa either). Cute baby Teddy Lupin. Grieving!Andromeda. Healer!Hermione. Alcoholics!Harry and Draco. Basically, Narcissa is sick and dying. The Malfoys are desperate to save her but the only person who can save her, refuses to do. Plus, St Mungos refuse to treat anyone affiliated with Death Eaters. Harry and Draco struggles with living and the guilt of surviving through the war while others died. They drown their problems with alcohol but in the end, their friendship (and love) saved each other from self destruction. Draco needs to tell his parents the truth about his sexuality and his relationship with Harry but isn't sure if Lucius will still love him after that. I have a bit of a problem how fast everyone (except Lucius and Narcissa because they've been married for years after all) jump from comfort friends-with-benefits sex to "I love you so much, I'd die without you", but other than that it's ok :) Warning for one scene in which one of the main protagonist tried to slash their arm open out of grief (and because they're too drunk to think straight) - near fatal but they didn't die.

Summary: A year after the war, wounds remain fresh. Survivors struggle just to keep surviving. They're plagued with guilt, illness, and new prejudices. Harry always thought his life would get easier after the demise of Voldemort, but he was wrong.

*GAAH!! SO AWESOME!! *loves* ♥♥♥♥♥♥
Part 3 (Final part) of The Intellectual Love Affair series (it's a trilogy). Master Brewer!Draco (BAMF!Potions expert). Harry/Draco as official business partners (and lovers). This fic is the aftermath of Draco's rescue by Harry and Hermione from his abuser, plus the continuation of evil politicians' (Charlemagne Diggory) attempts in destroying Harry/Draco, their reputation and potions business. BAMF!Hermione and BAMF!Milicent (Hermione/Milicent scheming together is beyond awesome!). Draco is both strong and vulnerable in this piece (abuse trauma, nightmares and still recuperating from his injuries... and yet still a BAMF!Hero). Evil!Lucius and Narcissa who are hell-bent on helping baddies destroy Harry and separate Draco from Harry. Harry+Draco+Hermione+Milicent working together against baddies. Also, Harry gets thrown in jail - Draco, Hermione and Milicent work together to prove Harry's innocence. Awesome court trial scene! #Mostly bottom!Draco but with subtly implied future 'switching'

Summary: Harry and Draco are finally, slowly, coming together, but the aftermath of Draco's freedom is nightmares, legal challenges, and dangerous political pressure in the form of Charlemagne Diggory.

*GAAH!! SO AWESOME!! *loves* ♥♥♥♥♥♥
Part 2 of The Intellectual Love Affair series (it's a trilogy). Master Brewer!Draco (BAMF!Potions expert). Not-so-recluse!Harry because he's officially helping with Draco's apothecary business (Harry/Draco as business partners and close friends). Harry/Draco pre-slash turning into slash (Harry starts to actively pursue Draco) and bits of Draco/Daphne Greengrass (a bit of Harry/Ginny friendship). Evil baddies are still after Harry and Draco - this time, they're determined to destroy everything accomplished by Draco and hurt Harry (by hurting Draco because Harry cares for Draco). Violence, torture, dark curses, illegal use of memory charms and Legilimency (used as a torture device) and sexual abuse (Draco) - and the resulting injuries. Potions shop talk, political stuff, powerful wandless magic (Harry), Harry's fear of his own magic, Draco's selective amnesia (memory charms), kidnapping (and the awesome rescue plan), dueling, graphic torture & sexual abuse scenes.

Summary: Draco and Harry start marketing the Desire potion, only to encounter opposition from Draco's debtors, manipulative Slytherin women, and politicians running for Minister.