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The able are rewarded. The disabled suffer
Each Remploy worker is subsidised at an average of £20,000 a year, because so many of the factories are far from profitable. Yet, the organisation boasts that last year it placed 6,500 people a year in mainstream employment, at a per-person average cost of a mere £5,300. It's not the only Remploy financial statistic that doesn't make much sense. The GMB pointed out that in 2007-8, when 2,500 Remploy workers lost their jobs, the directors and managers were paid £1.7m in bonuses. The head of Remploy, Tim Matthews, is on £120,000. He used to list "drinking champagne" as a hobby in Who's Who. The bonuses, says Remploy, were awarded because directors achieved "individual targets which are performance-related". Since none of these managers seems capable of running, say, a factory at anything like break-even, one starts to wonder if they get their bonuses for doing the opposite. Each senior manager, in 2007-08, placed 13 people, on average, in mainstream jobs. That's while they were not clocking up five redundancies per manager in the same period. Lack of ability, it seems, is worth subsiding handsomely, while disability is not.
No one talks nonsense quite like a historian
Sir Martin Gilbert, the allegedly distinguished historian who is one of those appointed to investigate the Iraq war, has let it be known that one day in the future Bush and Blair might be seen in the same light as Roosevelt and Churchill. A good example of the rule that when it comes to talking nonsense it's hard to beat a historian. Journalists have always been a more reliable source of information, and thanks to their efforts we now know the answers about Blair, sexed-up dossiers, his lies about the weapons of mass destruction. I myself have a large collection of books which tell me all I want to know on the subject. There is, however, still a mystery about Iraq, which is why any inquiry into the war should begin by questioning Americans. It was, after all, their war and it was their president who started it. We, in the person of our sanctimonious Prime Minister Blair, merely tagged along.
The foundation of a recovery
Doomsday is off. The end is not nigh, after all. Not in the housebuilding market, anyway. A surprisingly chipper Pete Redfern, chief executive of Taylor Wimpey, one of Britain’s biggest housebuilders, is calling the bottom for prices. In a remarkably sanguine trading statement yesterday, the company said that selling prices had been stable for the past six months and it expects them to start rising in the autumn after the traditional summer housebuying lull. “The severe downside scenarios for which we have been planning now appear less likely to materialise,” it said. Translated, this means that it no longer fears the 35 per cent peak-to-trough collapse in prices that it had been bracing for. Now it thinks the 20 per cent slide we’ve seen so far is as bad as it’s going to get.
Motorists to get fines refunded because of sign blunder
What is described as an "historical clerical error" in Dorset means that police and the local speed camera partnership have to track down drivers caught by a single camera over the past decade. They face a potential bill of more than £1 million, if every driver is contacted. The camera, monitoring westbound traffic on the A35, was supposed to enforce a 30mph limit in Chideock, a small rural village in the west of the county. Thousands of motorists were caught by the camera including Alan Dawe, a lorry driver, who was caught travelling at 41mph. He challenged the fine and during the court hearing it was discovered that the paperwork giving legal authority to the speed camera identified its location incorrectly.
It was recorded as having been placed in Seatown Road, when the camera was in Duck Street. As a result every speeding ticket issued since the original Traffic Regulation Order was drafted is illegal.
MPs' expenses: David Tredinnick tried to claim for 'intimate relationships' course
David Tredinnick, the Conservative MP for Bosworth, attended the four-hour seminar, which included learning how to "honour the female and also the male essence and the importance of celebrating each". The invitation to the course, which he submitted with his office expenses, also said: "Where did the magic go? Discover how to recreate that again. Attend this course and find out how to make things better and develop tools for taking your relationship to an outstanding level of love, fun, laughter, passion and intimacy." The course offered to teach those attending about "polarity and neutrality" and the "deep passions of our intimate relationships". An official in the Commons fees office wrote to Mr Tredinnick to explain that "costs relating to Intimate Relationships courses do not fall within the remit of this allowance" and the claim was turned down. (MrP Comments: What was the 'intimate relationship' he was contemplating, fucking the taxpayer up the arse?)
This week's bag 'o shite award goes to Giles Coren.
Giles Coren is a prick who is only in the job he's in because he had a very talented father. He gets paid to write this drivel. And I'm very curious about one thing. What colour do you think the Parcelforce guy was?
Tell me Angelina Jolie, what’s the point of tattoos?
Tattoos are traditionally associated with rebelliousness, and that is where the self-styled, former wild child Jolie would have us believe the roots of her habit lie. In truth, however, there is little that is subversive about these daubings. Instead, they are the ultimate expression of a deep narcissism, a vanity so unchecked that it believes itself to be invulnerable. “Look at me,” it says, “covered in graffiti, and still better looking than the rest.” The celebrity tattoo is not tribal, or spiritual, or risky; it simply introduces an element of imperfection into the equation, one that is intended to emphasise the general gorgeousness of the wearer. They are, if you like, the 21st-century equivalent of the 18th-century beauty spot. If Monroe had been alive today, she would have had her famous mole removed — and replaced with a tattoo. I wonder: what is the Sanskrit for gentlemen prefer blondes?
As a historian, I believe this is one of the most dishonest and incompetent regimes of modern times (and he means OURS)
That weasel word ‘transparency’ was hardly out of Gordon Brown’s mouth when that same mouth was telling the Commons that the official inquiry into Britain’s participation into George W. Bush’s Iraq War would take place in secret. What’s more, the commission of inquiry appointed by Brown consists of the usual kind of safe Establishment appointees, so promising if not a whitewash like Lord Hutton’s 2003 report on the death of Iraq weapons expert Dr David Kelly, then at least a bland coating of magnolia. For instance, the two distinguished historians on the inquiry are both known to support Tony Blair’s belief in ‘liberal interventionism’, the doctrine whereby democracies have the right to invade any sovereign state of whose internal regime they disapprove, such as that of Saddam Hussein. Moreover, both these academics were awarded their knighthoods under Blair’s regime. So what kind of forensic ruthlessness will they bring to their work? Especially as Brown has said that it would not be the purpose of the inquiry to attribute blame to individuals or agencies for our entanglement in this calamitous adventure. No blame? Why ever not? Surely to identify blameworthy judgments and decisions ought to be the inquiry’s central purpose? It should see itself as a grand court-martial, hauling before it for cross-examination the men who were at the helm when Britain was steered into a war even more needless and disastrous than Anthony Eden’s Suez adventure.
And yet the commission comprises not a single senior military figure to advise on questions of intelligence, strategic judgment and the armed forces’ state of readiness for war.
Europe and a squalid Blair, Cameron pact
There is an issue of contention involving Europe - and this, I believe, is potentially the most divisive. It concerns the plan, which has been backed by French President Nicolas Sarkozy, to appoint Tony Blair as the EU first president. Giving this dazzling international role to the former Labour prime minister would not only be highly controversial but it would also disgust many loyal Conservatives, who regard Blair with profound contempt. William Hague spoke out for these Tories last week when he said: 'We haven't spent ten years opposing Tony Blair as Prime Minister of Britain to agree to him becoming President of the European Union.'
However, Cameron has been silent on the Blair candidacy. Many Conservatives fear that this is because a deeply cynical deal has been struck. It works like this: Cameron has pledged to do nothing that would damage Blair's chances; while Blair himself has agreed not to speak out and join the Labour campaign to prevent Cameron getting into Downing Street.
As hate-filled mobs drive Romanian gipsies out of Ulster, we ask who's REALLY to blame?
Of course, no right-thinking person can condone the attacks that have seen the Roma families moved this weekend to a new, secret location. Yet it is the lack of debate (or action) on immigration by politicians that has contributed to these festering frustrations, just as it has led to the appalling spectre of two seats for the British National Party in this month’s European elections. In The Village, people are taking the law into their own hands. There are countless derelict, boarded-up homes after people have been ‘put out’ — slang for driven from the area. But it’s not just immigrants: many white Northern Irish families have been sent packing as well; anyone, in fact, caught indulging in ‘ antisocial behaviour’ — from having late-night parties to stealing or dealing in drugs. Back at the Loyalist ‘den’ on wasteland, the youths say they are simply doing what their communities have done for years: policing and punishing the criminals among them. ‘Putting them out of their homes’ can even involve petrol bombs being thrown through the windows. ‘We see them [Roma] sneaking about, looking in our dad’s car windows and eyeing up our bikes,’ said one of the youths, none of whom would give their names. ‘There were fights with some of them a few weeks back. ‘We just can’t be having them doing these sorts of things. We need to stand up and be counted.’ Tragically, it doesn’t occur to them that they are now visiting on these newcomers to Belfast the same mindless prejudice, hatred and violence that was once inflicted on them by the IRA.
London Marathon man, 75, runs into 'too fast' cheat row
He has run more than 400 marathons all over the world, raising thousands of pounds for charity. And at 75, Alan Morton is apparently still going strong, coming seventh in the over-70 age group at the London Marathon in April. But last night, the veteran runner was at the centre of extraordinary allegations amid suspicions that he may have taken a short cut during the second half of the race. According to the electronic timing chip worn by all runners, Mr Morton finished in an impressive 4 hours 16 minutes and 23 seconds. But members of his running club began to suspect something was amiss after examining his split times over the course of 26 miles and 385 yards, or 42.195km. He passed the 20km mark in just under 3 hours 9 minutes, which put him on schedule to finish in around six and a half hours. However, no more chip times were recorded for him until the 40km mark, which he passed in 3 hours 52 minutes and 30 seconds. That means he would have had to cover the second 20km (12 and a half miles) in a staggering 43 minutes, far quicker than Haile Gebrselassie's pace when he set the marathon world record of 2 hours 3 minutes and 59 seconds in Berlin last year.
Adrift in the mainstream
Despite the economic crash and political crisis, the prime minister still cannot break free from New Labour's shop-worn, have-your-cake-and-eat-it triangulation formula, which is now the only way he can avoid an early taste of the "move to teaching" he speculates about in his Guardian interview. The problem's been on painful show all this week, just when Brown's defeat of the Blairites' half-cocked coup has given him a last chance to change course.
Britain needs anger management. Not to calm the fury, but to gather its force
Loth as I am to add to that anger in-tray, those of you who had an establishment trifecta are in luck. In a week in which unemployment hit 2.26 million, it emerges that Prince Charles, a man who does not even put the toothpaste on his own toothbrush, got Richard Rogers sacked from the Chelsea Barracks development after two-and-a-half years on a project which the architect estimates could have provided 10,000 jobs. And where do you even start on the repulsively indolent Prince Andrew, who has just blown yet another few grand being helicoptered to a party at his golf club? If the royal family's ludicrous drain on the public purse is not next in line for scrutiny and outcry, then there will be something seriously wrong with us. Already the serfs seem restless, with former planning minister Nick Raynsford describing Prince Charles's intervention as "almost feudal".
A carve-up of the licence fee would be sheer vandalism
Here are a few facts from Patrick Barwise of the London Business School. The BBC is not "dominant", as 70% of broadcasting in Britain is commercial in a highly competitive market. The BBC gets just 23% of total television revenue but attracts 33% of viewing. Contrary to talk of the corporation's extravagance, it is highly efficient with the cost per viewer hour at 65% less than the commercial television sector – and much less if you add in pay-TV.
Poll after poll shows how greatly the BBC is valued. When 20% of respondents say they resent the licence fee as they never use BBC services, Professor Barwise says they lie: in fact only about 1% don't watch or listen to the BBC. He wants to conduct an experiment: offer these deniers a full licence rebate in exchange for turning off all access to BBC services and see how long it is before they hand back the cash to be reconnected. (MrP Comments: As usual Toynbee completely misses the point and uses some pretty dubious stats to back up her argument)
Gordon Brown: I could walk away from this tomorrow
Gordon Brown has admitted that he has been "hurt" by the personal attacks on him during the failed attempt to oust him this month, and said that he might move to teaching after he leaves office. Speaking to the Guardian in his first interview since the attempted coup by Labour backbenchers, the prime minister made an unprecedentedly frank series of observations on his time in office, reflecting that the recent weeks have been the worst of his political life. "To be honest, you could walk away from all of this tomorrow," he said. "I'm not interested in what accompanies being in power. I wouldn't worry if I never returned to all those places - Downing Street, Chequers ... And it would probably be good for my children." MrP Comments: Not interested in power?! Another big Brown fib)
Victim spots 'robbers' following him on Google
Dutch police have arrested twin brothers on suspicion of robbery after their alleged victim spotted a picture of them following him on Google's Street View map application. Paul Heidanus, a police spokesman in the town of Groningen, said he believed it was the first time Street View images had been used in a Dutch criminal investigation. A 14-year-old boy told police in September that he had been robbed of €165 (£140) and his mobile phone when two men had dragged him off his bicycle in Groningen, north-east of Amsterdam. The boy called again in March after seeing an image of himself and two men that he believed were his attackers on Street View.
Sunbed use 'should be regulated like tobacco'
Sunbeds are to blame for 370 cases of melanoma and 100 deaths each year, experts said. The Committee on Medical Aspects of Radiation in the Environment said in a report that sunbeds were a serious and growing public health problem that needed to be brought under control in the same way as smoking
Cancer: shock breakthrough
Two patients with inoperable prostate cancer have made dramatic recoveries after receiving one dose of an experimental drug that is creating excitement among cancer specialists. The results were so startling that researchers decided to release details of the two cases before the drug trial – in which the patients took part – was complete. Doctors said their progress had exceeded all
expectations. The men were treated at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota in the US, one of the top medical centres in the world.
Dr Eugene Kwon, the urologist who was in charge of their treatment, compared the results to the first pilot breaking the sound barrier. "This is one of the Holy Grails of prostate cancer research. We have been looking for this for years," he said.
If he was here to study why did he need a translator?!
A "DANGEROUS and determined sexual predator" who stalked the streets for victims during a nine-month reign of terror has been jailed for 12 years. Ekene Anoliefo, the son of a prominent Nigerian politician, raped one teenager and also tried to lure a 14-year-old girl back to his flat in Aberdeen for sex by offering her drink, cigarettes and cannabis. The High Court in Edinburgh heard how he approached other women in the streets of Aberdeen and assaulted one female by pushing her against a wall when she rejected his advances. Sentencing the 34-year-old, Lord Pentland told Anoliefo: "You are a dangerous and determined sexual
predator who has not the slightest respect for women.
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