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I haven’t really talked about this before, but I’ve failed more times than I can remember.  I’ve tried starting up several businesses, tried patenting inventions, tried starting up online communities, tried building several websites, tried to win contests… and failed almost every single time.  But I never chalked any of them up as failures in my head, because I learned so much in the process each time.  So now, when I’ve finally reached a point where things seem to fall into place with far less effort, I can’t help but think about all those times where I didn’t succeed over the course of the last eight years.  And I look back in fondness, because those lessons learned are the reason I’m here.  None of this stuff happened over night — in a way, I’ve been working to reach this point since I was 15.

I actually shouldn’t even call them failures, because they were really just attempts.  There’s a huge difference there. Everyone has failures, but most people never attempt things just for the sake of trying out something that looks fun, interesting, or challenging.  For some reason, a lot of us reach a point where we stop doing things for the hell of it.

Why do you think I’m such a huge proponent of free work?  Doing work for free forces you to find jobs where you can honestly say, “I would do this even if I weren’t being paid for it.”  That’s an expression I took a bit too literally, but it is spot on.

The 40/30/30 rule really does provide a great framework for success, no matter what you do.

Do something worthwhile (the first 40%) means that you’re willing to get up off the couch and do something. Maybe it’s getting ahead in a career. Maybe it’s getting into a new hobby. Maybe it’s simply getting a grip on your investments. 40% of the journey is simply trying.

Keep at it (the next 30%) is simply encouragement to not let a new initiative slide, because the more you work at it, the easier it becomes. Even more important, the more you work at it, the more the basic skills that make up the task begin to become natural to you.

Take risks (the final 30%) simply means to not do things the same way every single time. When you’ve become skilled at something, it’s easy to become wedded to the same routine. Never stop looking at what you do and trying out alternate paths. Not only does this grow your skills (making your basic routine even better), it also helps you to uncover new ways of doing things.

In my opinion, the problems with tip culture on the web are many, not least the evidence that most of the page-view-obsessed poopers of online tips seem to have zero real interest in solving any problem beyond their own need to generate repeat traffic from dazed information tourists. But, the common problem of all tip fixations traces back to a misunderstanding of how anybody ever got great at doing anything.

We can’t get good at something solely by reading about it. And we’ll never make giant leaps in any endeavor by treating it like a snack food that we munch on whenever we’re getting bored. You get good at something by doing it repeatedly. And by listening to specific criticism from people who are already good at what you do. And by a dedication to getting better, even when it’s inconvenient and may not involve a handy bulleted list.

If this strikes you as fancy talk, may I suggest that you approach the woman in your life who most enjoys sexual intercourse, and, in the nicest way possible, ask her whether she’d prefer to have congress with:






1. a confident partner who has had a long career of safe and mutually-satisfying romps with a range of people who liked different things; or,
2. a 50-year-old virgin who likes reading blogs about sex tips.






You know the answer, and so does she. There’s probably more than one reason that poor #2 is still just a well-read dilettante, but a strong candidate for the top spot would be how he’s allowed his ardor for acquiring “tips” to take the place of getting started in the actual, complicated, and sometimes very confusing craft of making ladyparts happy.

1. 80-90 percent of what you fear will happen never really come into reality.

“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”

Winston Churchill

Breakfasts





1. Hot oatmeal (using rolled oats) with chopped fruits or dried fruits, flaxseed, and/or berries.
2. Kashi cereal with soymilk and berries or other fruits.
3. Sprouted grain toast with almond butter, chopped fruits on the side.
4. Scrambled tofu with tomatoes, mushrooms, spinach, onions. (Try this recipe).
5. Fried brown rice — fry up with olive oil, onions, mushrooms, green veggies, tofu, soy sauce or tamari sauce. You can throw in some corn or carrots or other veggies.