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May
23
2012
best headline ever!
also, "bronyologist" is not a word. hahahah
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After getting over his initial shock,
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tattoo
- 4 more annotation(s)...
Clint/Carolyn: 5/5 stars, 9/10. Clint is considering upgrading to 10/10.
Native ratings: 3.8/5 stars (Netflix's better guess for us=4.3), 6.9/10.
Based on Edgar Rice Burroughs books, this movie entered development in 1931, and was almost the first animated movie in America. But things got held up for (puts pinky to corner of mouth) ***79 YEARS***. It finally left development-hell in 2010, and they're already working on a sequel.
I'm glad once the studios finally move (a literal lifetime later), that they are rushing to do as many of these as possible.
BECAUSE THIS WAS EXCELLENT!!!!!!
Would have been nice to see in 3-D, but completely unnecessary. It is a great story, and a long movie that properly fleshes out characters and plots. I'm not going to go into too much detail, but simply: Science fiction done right, with an epic story and an epic budget. I'm still trying to figure out if I should really be rating this movie 10/10, because there's not really any flaw.
(BTW, You may recognize the main couple in this movie as Gambit and Silverfox from X-Men Origins.)
Clint/Carolyn: 8/10.
Clint: 5/5 stars, Carolyn: 4/5 stars.
Native ratings: 3.5/5 Netflix (guess for us=3.4), 6.2/10 IMDB.
What a delightful sequel to Jumanji! And nobody knows about this, because they didn't call it Jumanji 2! However, it's basically the exact same movie, but with SPACE instead of JUNGLE. It's not as dark as Jumanji; a little more lighthearted. But the EXACT SAME FORMULA. This is truly a sequel.
All the Kristen Stewart haters have really missed out on a gem of exploitable screenshots from this movie: Stewart is LITERALLY frozen during a lot of the movie. These could be memes, if someone would just screenshot and capture them.
Directed by Jon Favreau (Iron Man, Elf).
With Dax Sheppart from Without A Paddle, and Tim Robbins as the dad.
And oh, the younger brother in this movie was the kid in the recent Crazy, Stupid, Love (2011) movie, and the older brother was in Journey To The Center Of The Earth (2008) as well as Peeta in The Hunger Games (2012), and Bridge To Terabithia (2007).
The music, especially, makes this video! I can't think of a video that's made me this happy in awhile.
May
18
2012
USA likes to espouse itself as being the freest country in the world, defender of life and liberty.
Yet people are pre-emptively arrested for wanting to exercise their first amendment rights, 25% of all prisoners on planet earth are in our jail system, we have the highest imprisonment rate, and have killed tons of civilians in our various oil wars (Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya).
America's dead. Perhaps a better use of everyone's energy is to figure out how to get the fuck out of America, because our "freedom" is mostly based on economics, not principles of actual liberty.
Fuck Chicago Police (for the 10,000th time).
But fuck america for allowing this to happen, and fuck americans for voting in leaders like Bush and Obama who only decrease total freedom, and for having no backbone to fight this bullshit.
May
15
2012
5/5 stars, 8/10 from Clint.
3/5 stars, 7/10 from Carolyn.
Major disparity here.
Native rating: 4.7/10 (vs 5.8,5.4 for first 2 movies), 3.1/5 stars (vs 3.2,3.2).
Netflix guessed 3.9/5 for us. Considering I rated the first 2 Hostel movies 5/5 stars, Netflix really should know better.
I thought this was one of the more sinister Hostel movies. The major spoiler of the movie is WAY more evil than anything that was done in the first two Hostel movies.
I actually think the franchise has been improving with each release, which is contrary to most popular opinion and common sense.
Hostel 2 > Hostel 1, because after seeing the 1, watching 2 is an exercise in extreme paranoia. But after going that route, Hostel 3 is more of an experience in "living large" and making the franchise more grandiouse, with the hell on earth no longer in a 3rd world eastern European country, but in Las Fucking Vegas.
This is also the most unique of the 3 films (due to large similarities between Hostel 1 and Hostel 2).
I am glad that in the IMDB comments I found other people who liked this better than Hostel 1 & 2. It is probably the opinion of a 10% minority, but I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks 3 > 2 > 1.
FREAK ALERT! John Hensley, the fucking idiot son from Nip/Tuck, plays a handicapped person here. Interesting to see him again, if only to be reminded of how much I hated his character on Nip/Tuck. He also has a kind of weird look to him, which lends itself well to playing someone with a physical malady.
8/10 from both of us. 4/5 stars from Carolyn, 5/5 stars from Clint. Carolyn had seenthis before, but Clint had not. Carolyn enjoyed it as much (if not more) as the first time she saw it.
Native rating: 6.5/10, 3.6/5 (Netflix incorrectly guesse3d 3.1/5 for us, thinking we'd like this worse than average. WRONG!)
We are both very much into board games, fantasy, imagination, and darkness, and this movie had it all, so it spoke to us. I really thought it would be more of a "kiddie" movie, but there were actually a lot of dark, fucked up moments. Homicidal gun maniacs and animals that try to kill children? Nightmare insects? Holy fuck. WAS. NOT. EXPECTING.
I was enthralled. Carolyn adds: "It was more enjoyable watching it with you because you liked it so much. hehehehe"
Another weird thing: Seeing Kirsten Dunst so young. Too bad she was TOO young, if you catch my drift. But that was made up for with Bebe Neuwirth (Lillith from Cheers/Frasier). SHE IS HOT AS SHIT. Plus this was 15 years ago. Too bad this is a movie about her kids and not her, or we could have stared at her longer. But I digress.
This was way better than I expected. I'd been putting off watching this movie for almost a year (17 years, if you want to get pedantic), but apparently I should have watched it much sooner!
MMmmmm, Sherlock Holmes sequel! Yay!
4/5 stars, 8/10 from both of us (whereas the first movie only got 7.6 from Carolyn).
Native rating: 7.5/10, 4.1/5 (guess for us=4.2), so for once we're in line with most people.
NOOMI RAPACE! THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO! She is in this movie, in an English-speaking role!
This was actually better than the first Sherlock Holmes movie, but only slightly. I reread what Carolyn said to me about the last one, and she said her attention had faltered some during the first one, and that didn't happen with the 2nd movie.
And that is why this movie gets a slightly higher rating (8.0 vs 7.6).
New Zealand low-budget time travel movie not available on Netflix.
Got a 3.6/10 on IMDB, but Clint gave it 6/10 and Carolyn gave it 7/10.
We both rated it only 3 stars, but then later Clint changed it to 2.8/3 stars after seeing its rating in comparison to other 3/5 star movies and realizing this is a worse movie.
The effects were super-cheesy -- like someone just did it all on their computer. And the story was confusing. David Lynch-level confusing by the end, with characters actually being other characters. And since it wasn't directed well enough, I didn't even understand which characters were becoming which other characters. It was just hard to follow. And the New Zealand accents sounded really bad.
But the story was still kind of interesting, and we are such huge time travel fans that we sought out and found this movie despite its rarity and low rating.
It was still enjoyable.
Just not really GOOD.
May
12
2012
Slightly confusing, but what the headline really means is "there are many instances where police used more bullets against 1 person than Germany used in an entire year against all criminals in the country".
Now, if you extrapolate out the fact that the U.S. population is almost 4 times that of Germany's, the real number to compare is not 85 shots, but about 340 shots.
Contrast to America, where *to stop a reckless driver* last year, police fired over 110 shots, including shooting 7 innocent bystanders. We routinely shoot unarmed people 40-90 times.
Yeah.... It's not just our larger population at work. When our police use more bullets in a single incident than a country previously associated with fascism does all year -- it gives one major pause at how fucked up and broken our system is, and how piss-poor our over-militarized, trigger-happy police operate.
Not making assumptions here. I've worked them them, eaten lunch with them, and heard them talk about how they want someone to cause them to have a chance to shoot them. It's sickening.
May
11
2012
Here's what happens if someone takes the darkest 25% or so of My Little Pony:Friendship Is Magic episodes, and makes a serious movie trailer out of them.
I gotta say... this is fucking awesome. Deal with it.
But anyway, here's a story of a Jewish person who turned in the person raping his child, and was shunned by his community, harassed, and kicked out of his residence.
Hasidic Jews, that is. These are the hardcore orthodox types. People who take their supernatural beliefs way too seriously, and then inflict them on other people.
Religion has got to be one of the top enemies for children.
(Islam is even worse in that they don't need to worry about covering up chid rape quite as much as the other religions, because Mohamad set the awesome example of marrying a six year old while he was in his 50s, and Sharia says you execute the rape victim, not the rapist, so what's left to cover up?)
In general, fuck religious people. Even the ones that do no wrong help prop up communities like this by passing on supernatural beliefs that have nothing to do with the modern-day world. If you don't like my attitude, here is a cup of I don't give a fuck that you can drink.
This is basically looking like the same bullshit the pope and various bishops have pulled repeatedly.
May
8
2012
Freshly released: Actual video of police killing a homeless man. The video is FORTY MINUTES IN LENGTH, with TWENTY MINUTES OF BRUTALITY.
If 6 officers couldn't take this guy down in less than 20 minutes, none of them deserve to keep their job.
For once, the pigs are actually charged with murder and manslaughter. But wait. Only 2 of the 6 officers were actually charged. Seems to be that if you mindlessly dogpile onto an existing situation, you're just fine. They never charge everyone who actually did it.
"I just started smashing his face to hell" -one of the officers
May
7
2012
7.6/10 from both of us (imdb avg is 6.5/10).
4/5 stars from Carolyn, 3.6/5 stars from me
(avg Netflix is 3.9/5 stars, with a guess of 4.1 for us)
I call this Underworld 3 because it's the 3rd non-prequel movie in the 4-movie franchise. We now have 0 through 3.
Anyway, this was an improvement over the 3rd movie, Underworld 0:Rise Of The Lycans. Kate Beckinsale is back, since she was barely in the prequel movie (though it's easy enough to mistake Rhona Mitra for Kate, if you forget the eye color difference).
It's been too long since the first two Underworld movies for me to really say whether this was any better or worse than 1-2.
The main twist here is that vampires and werewolves are now known to exist by the general public.
For the most part, this just feels like a Resident Evil movie. Moreso than any of the previous Underworld movies. Whether that is good or bad is your choice.
This had some good action, as expected -- but the story could use a bit of work. The movie was kind of short. Not too much happened. There needs to be more movies in the franchise, because this one created more new issues than it resolved.
But it was still good. High-budget, polished action.
Both of us: 7/10 (IMDB average:4.1/10).
Clint: 4/5 stars, Carolyn: 3/5 stars, Netflix: 2.7/5 stars, with a 3.1/5 guess for us.
So yea, we liked this better than the general public, which is true for most movies.
I'm still trying to figure out why the general public -- who spends more money on porn than all non-porn movies combined -- tends to rate sex comedies so low. Are they upset they aren't actual pornos?
This is a movie about cougars, and stars such older women as Fayne Dunaway, Carrie Fisher, Loretta Devine, and other 40-55 year old cougars. But it's not a porno. There's barely even nudity in it. The marketeers marketed toward the sex angle to capture peoples' money, and I think that is what they are angry about. If you watch it not expecting much sex, the sex is simply a pleasant surprise instead of a disappointment.
We found it to be a fun movie. Nothing great, but a good testament about scenesters and creating scenes, and with some fun eroticism to boot. The Cougar Club in this movie could just as easily be ANY self-aggrandizing, private sex-themed party-throwing organization. The parallels were obvious. And the two bros that were main characters had a good comedic chemistry with each other, even if there was nothing uniuque about it.
But Amanda? God...The Amanda character was SOOOOOOO annoying. The filmmarkers did this on purpose, I think, to highlight the maturity of older women by showing how annoying a younger woman can be.
I did not realize one of the main characters had been in 8 episodes of 24! Weird.
Anyway... I'm glad we finally got around to watching this.
4/5 stars, 8/10 from both of us, though the general public only rated it 2.7/5 stars (Netflix guessed 2.6 for us!) and 5.5/10.
This is the closest film I've ever seen to the movie Hardware (1990).
There are a few scenes that seem to be in DIRECT homage to Hardware. It lacks some of the comedy and psychedelia in Hardware, as well as the amazing cameos...
But in terms of cinematography, subject matter, style, and even character appearance (including the "villain"), this is simply a Poor Man's Hardware. It even has William Hootkins ("we all sing, the wibbery-wobberly..walk!"), though he's playing a suit instead of a perf.
Despite this being a poor man's Hardware, it's still better than 95% of scifi horror movies from the 1990s. So it gets 4/5 stars and 8/10, instead of the 5/5 stars and 9/10 rating that Hardware received.
Brad Dourif is pretty fricking crazy in this, and a lot of people are saying Heath Ledger must have watched this film at some point as inspiration for his insane portrayal of The Joker in The Dark Knight.
We watched the 111-minute (PAL/Europe) cut, though I would have preferred to get the 128 or 120-minute cut. Stay away from the 99-minute Netflix cut. You'll be sorry. Get the PAL (europe) DVD if at all possible.
This movie also gets a very special LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD for having THE STRANGEST MARIJUANA JOINTS TO BE FEATURED IN ALL OF FILMDOM.
Clint & Carolyn: 3/5 stars (Netflix avg=3.6, guess for us=3.3).
Clint: 6.4/10 (high 6)
Carolyn: 6.6/10 (low 7)
IMDB: 5.3/10.
There is so much wrong with this, but could I really refuse to watch a Smurfs movie because I think it MIGHT be lame? No, I could not. Especially with Hank Azaria, Neil Patrick Harris, Jayma Mays (Hiro's perfect match from Heroes), and Sofia Vergara.
And was it lame? Yes, in some ways.
Of course, the original 80's cartoon is pretty goddamn lame if you sit down and watch an episode of it in 2012, so one could argue that this movie was actually an improvement. The problem is peoples' rose-tinted nostalgia that causes them to reject everything made on an old idea. But The Smurfs WERE ALREADY AN OLD IDEA when they came to American television. The Smurfs as a franchise are 50 years old; the cartoon is only 30 years old. It was already an adaptation before it was adapted for this movie. So get over it. The movie was fun.
They went into the real world, which is a cheesy plot device used in so many cartoon movies, as well as an excuse to cheap out on the animation budget by using live-action people.
But there was also a real charm in seeing Gargamel as a ridiculous live-action person caught in a world he doesn't belong to. He assumes homeless people are other wizards. It's funny, in a 3rd Rock From the Sun Season 1 kind of way, to see someone try to figure out a world they don't belong in.
And the CGI on Azrael was really cute.
When all is said and done, we have to admit to liking this movie, even if it wasn't great.
4/5 stars, 7/10.
Native ratings: 3.4/5 stars (Netflix's guess for us=3.9), 6.3/10 IMDB.
We definitely had to read the wikipedia summaries of the last 3 movies, because it has been soooo long since the first 3 Scream movies came out. Plus, the 2nd and 3rd ones weren't as good.
Fortunately, Scream 4 seems to be continuing the trend of resurrecting old horror franchises with a sequel better than the last few sequels.
Final Destination 5 was better than FD3, 4, and maybe 2. And Scream 4 is better than S3 & S2.
Horray for fixing broken franchises!
May
2
2012
Clint: 4/5 stars, 7.4/10.
Carolyn: 3.6/5 stars, 7/10.
Native ratings: 3.8/5 stars (Netflix guessed 4.1 for us), 6.7/10.
An exception to our usual focus on modern offerings.
This movie had funny moments, and the Ramones were fun. It was very much what people would think of as a stereotypical 1980's highschool/teen-comedy movie. Except it had The Ramones in it, which is something few other movies can boast.
Most of the main characters in this movie still have acting careers today, which is a change compared to most b-movies. As for the "Riff Vs. Kate" debate, It's almost a tie. Riff's clavicle is the tiebreaker. I want to see cleavage, not Skeletor. Kate wins.
Interesting that CBS censors mentions of DDT in Teenage Lobotomy when this movie airs on TV, but cocaine and swastikas are just fine. Can't mess with Monansanto!
And how the fuck are they remaking this? I guess this movie could be remade for every band out there that has a fandom, but it's never going to be something as seminal as the fucking RAMONES!
It will probably still be better than the sequel I just found out about - Rock 'N' Roll High School Forever (1992) - staring Corey Feldman (feat Mojo Nixon). Or the 2nd sequel, Shake, Rattle and Rock! (1994), starring Renee Zellweger and Howie Mandel (feat Paul Anka). God help us all.
At least the 3rd one has some of the original characters and actors from the first one (including P.J. Soles).
Still though -- good times!
home of the brave here.. not charged, ends up in intensive care due to negligence of a government that's supposed to protect us, not injure us.
And your tax dollars paid for this. Funny how the worst stories are never about a white person.
The DEA is an evil organization. They do not make the world better. They are a waste of tax dollars. And Obama has done nothing to stop them, and in fact has empowered them.
And how the fuck are their bags of methamphetamine in a DEA holding cell anyway? DEA is incapable of administering themselves! Why do they even have their own holding cells?
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