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"one thing that grave illness does is to make you examine familiar principles and seemingly reliable sayings." In the brute physical world, and the one encompassed by medicine, there are all too many things that could kill you, don't kill you, and then leave you considerably weaker. [stole a march and said he wondered how much of my own writing on god had perhaps been influenced by a similar malady! I should have seen this "gotcha" coming, but was left wordless]"if anything, it seems to have concentrated his attention on the way in which each debilitation builds on its predecessor and becomes one cumulative misery with only one possible outcome. " in the annals of unsentimental approaches to extinction: not the wish to die with dignity but the desire to have died. To say that the rash hurt would be pointless. The struggle is to convey the way that it hurt on the inside. If I had been told about all this in advance, would I have opted for the treatment? There were several moments as I bucked and writhed and gasped and cursed when I seriously doubted it. It's probably a merciful thing that pain is impossible to describe from memory. It's also impossible to warn against. So as a rational actor, taking the radiation together with the reaction and the recovery, I have to agree that if I had declined the first stage, thus avoiding the second and the third, I would already be dead. And this has no appeal. The annihilating fatigue that came over me in consequence also contained the deadly threat of surrender to the inescapable: I would often find fatalism and resignation washing drearily over me as I failed to battle my general inanition. Only two things rescued me from betraying myself and letting go: a wife who would not hear of me talking in this boring and useless way, and various friends who also spoke freely. Oh, and the regular painkiller. How happily I measured off my day as I saw the injection being readied. It counted as a real event. But it was an alleviation of boredom, and a guilty pleasure.
All of this, and the childish resentment that goes with it, constitutes a weakening. The chief side effect of this pain is numbness in the extremities, filling me with the not irrational fear that I shall lose the ability to write. Without that ability, I feel sure in advance, my "will to live" would be hugely attenuated.I feel my personality and identity dissolving as I contemplate dead hands and the loss of the transmission belts that connect me to writing and thinking.the process both etiolates you and moves you nearer toward death. seeking to make light of his experience, that "what didn't kill me made me stronger." This is one of the manifestations that "denial" takes.one can dispense with facile maxims that don't live up to their apparent billing.
in list: PERSONALITY TYPES & Thinking patterns in decision-making, how to be an adult & be great at it too
"I am predicting the future by telling you it is of no consequence to him and suicide for you... there is an important difference between what happened to you and how you use what happened to you, and one of those you have to live with and the other one everyone else has to live with. And you will never be free.
If all rage comes from narcissism and narcissism is the broadcasting of a chosen identity, what identity is she broadcasting? Victim. Even if youtubing her abuse is cathartic in some way, it reinforces victim as an important part of her identity to herself, and this will infect every single relationship she has forever, from husband to kids to dog to God. Again, I am making a distinction between the abuse affecting her, and unconsciously defining herself by the abuse. After a few years of rehearsing you will no more be able to get rid of that trauma and expect to get on with life than you can pull the power source out of Megatron and expect he'll be able to turn into a jet. So I am telling her early, and I am telling you early, you who have nothing to do with these people but still feel not sympathetic but enraged, as much as you want him to suffer that desire is hurting you. I understand it, I respect it, I get it. But it will kill you. Forgiveness at any cost is the only way out."
in list: how to be an adult & be great at it too, BUILD SOCEITY: psychological law
propaganda-select a minority enemy, and create an impression of opposing unanimity. Once done, the leaders of the group have the powerbase to do what they want, making it impossible for anyone in the rest of the 98% to disavow this madness. When it all goes down you will be too terrified, or too busy, to dissent; You are the 98%, you are totally without any access to the machinery of power and worse, much worse, you plug yourselves into the machinery of media and become a slave; shop there because of the branding: liberal=organic ..reinforced the "liberalism" and therefore the "quality," and so you go, "reluctantly", shaking your head at the crazy commies stocking the store as you hand them 3x more than anything is worth. "Would you like to donate $1 to help Ethiopian refugees?" Son of a bitch, this apple is delicious; The reason "peaceful protests" don't work anymore is because now the protests are slower than the media coverage; And then I wondered, why do I even care if she is guilty or innocent, why do I even know her name, what's that got to do with me? Because the media decide not just truth and falsehood but existence and non-existence; And by her I don't mean her, of course, she doesn't get to decide what she thinks, either-- her producer tells her, and so on up the chain. Those protesters are based in a world that is built on rules. Because of this, they will never be as strong, or as fast, as the media that exists outside those rules. "Hey, stupid, what's that? a sign? TOO SLOW, we have a thousand satellites and a harem of reporters, from beautiful blondes to ugly intellectuals, we control the whole thing. "Get out the vote" is truly terrible advice, the only way to win is not to play. If you're at the protest and a guy comes around asking you to register and it's not for a handgun, punch him in the face. He's your enemy; There's a difference between what you need and what you want, and the media will always, relentlessly give you what you want. The protests will fail. They will eventually be co-opted by the pre-election media orgasmia, branded as either this team or that and assigned a leader no one would have ever picked, ever, ever. Half of you will vote, all of you will complain, and nothing will change.And the reason it will fail is that you don't want it to succeed. You are still holding on to the mercantilist, zero-sum economic delusion that tariffs and gold standards and less money for Wall Street means more money for you, and then you can go back to living like it's 1999 again. You can't. It's over.so has theirs; yes, they have received an obscene share of that fake money, and ten-twenty years ago maybe you could have redistributed that fake money, but that ship has sailed. The moment you take it away from them it ceases to exist, poof, it's gone. It's fine if you want to do it to punish them,but it won't help your situation one bit.
in list: PERSONALITY TYPES & Thinking patterns in decision-making, BUILD SOCEITY: psychological law
But why so much energy controlling the world? Why not just let things be and see what happens? Is he so afraid things will get worse? No. He's afraid things will get worse or they will get better. He is afraid of change, any change, not just because the relationship may change but because if it changes then he would have to change. All that matters is keeping the relationship intact. Even if you both end up miserable, better misery and stability with him than the tachycardia of something else, something unknown, something he can't control or defend against. At any moment there is only one person in the room no matter how many people are in the room, and that one person, you, is lugging around the same man you've lived with for years. The abusive boyfriend I'm describing is your unconscious. The unconscious doesn't care about happiness, or sadness, or gifts, or bullets. It has one single goal, protect the ego, protect status quo. Do not change and you will not die. And all the missed opportunities-- maybe I shouldn't, and isn't that high? and he probably already has a girlfriend, and I can't change careers at 44, and 3 months for the first 3/4 and going on ten years for the last fourth, and do I really deserve this?-- all of that is maintenance of the status quo, the ego. And when all else fails, it will beat you down with apathy. The men, or women, aren't lying to you, and you're not even lying to yourself. You are being lied to, by yourself.
in list: PERSONALITY TYPES & Thinking patterns in decision-making, how to be an adult & be great at it too, BUILD SOCEITY: psychological law
Take your work - and yourself - seriously enough to create a proper environment for it. Find or CREATE A WORKSPACE - whether it's a studio or a basement or a corner of the kitchen - that makes you feel safe. Find a few personal talismans or other items that connect you to your playful side - and make you feel good about who you are and what you do.
Have a strict "NO ASSHOLES" policy. Your body can tell the difference between constructive criticism (even if we don’t want to hear it) and the kind of bullshit that’s intended to tear you down, knock you off-balance, or keep you in your placeToxic people are crazy-making people, and even if you have to deal with them in other areas of your life, keep them out of your physical and mental creative space.
if something starts out perfect, without going through the fail-forward-faster learning process, it's most likely derivative and uninteresting. "What is the uncertainty you are dealing with?" Get it out there. Let's try REFRAMING the situation so it works for you, not against you.
when you don't tell your story, someone else tells it for you, or distorts you in a way that serves their own. (What is one of the first things that a tyrant takes away? Freedom of expression.) When you OWN YOUR STORIES, you know who you are. You recognize where you end and someone else begins: the things in yourself that you won't give up for anyone, and the things in someone else that you won't tolerate for any reason.
do laws coordinate or restrain - tradeoff of time lost vs lives saved from lowered speed. crucial element is often coordination - people need to do the right things at the right time in relation to what others are doing. when most cars are travelling at about the same speed, whether it is a high speed or low one, fatality rate will be low - because the probability of collusion will be low. variance kills not speed. guided by the limit rationale police concentrate on those drivers who exceed the legal speed & tend to ignore those who disrupt coordination by travelling much slower than the norm.
"childhood is a fascinating mix of innocence and cruelty, brilliant intelligence and painful ignorance, expanded consciousness and narrow experience."
You find your Way by sorting out what exactly is within your control and what is not, and then finding the particular thoughts and actions…that best fit what is beyond your control…You do what you can, not what you want. Your aim, in the beginning, isn’t to present to the world a perfect and perfectly completed Thing (that the world may not want in the first place), but to test the assumptions your Thing depends on to find out what is true, what works – and what doesn’t.Build-Measure-Learn: you build the minimum viable version of whatever it is that you’re working on, show it to people, find ways to measure reaction and impact, and learn, learn, learn. You then apply that learning to the next version of your Thing.you are not asking people what they think they want. People are generally resistant to change and don’t know what they want until they have it — and then wonder how they lived without it in the first place. you’re studying the conversation between you and your audience. Change doesn’t happen with one individual, but in the spaces, the interactions between them.You search out those spaces where your strengths and desires naturally intersect with that conversation, instead of falling beyond it where no one is listening. you stay closely connected to that world through observation, experimentation and insight.you focus on the journey: what you learn, how it feels and how it changes you. You let your Vision arise from that.Journey first, destination second.
" To become remarkable, tackle the most ambitious projects you can complete.
To get the biggest returns, you need to also invest in increasing the maximum level of ambitiousness you can achieve.
Part of this latter goal is simply dedicating the deliberate practice required to become excellent."
"The government has always been radically incompetent at imparting job skills or good work habits. Unfortunately, as long as politicians can profit from handing out jobs and paychecks, the waste and character damage will continue."
in list: BUILD SOCEITY: psychological law
"The difference between being conquered and being seduced is: everybody wants to be seduced."Because the key to seduction involves getting inside the other person's head, recognizing what he or she wants, and then giving it to them without making them feel like they're expected to give something back in return. (As soon as someone feels unduly pressured or chased, or senses an agenda, it's over.) It's not about the sexy black dress or the flashy car: those are props. Most people suck at seduction because most people suck at good listening. When you know how to tune into the other person, to make them feel like the object of your authentic and focused attention, you don't need the perfect breasts or the big stock options (although they probably don't hurt)...it's a connection made through recognition of a need, and providing a solution to that need, and it leaves both people feeling good about the exchange (ie: that neither was manipulated or taken advantage of). Which inspires trust. Which leads you (if you want) into deeper relationship. There's no pressure, because there's no desperation; people know they have other options. There's nothing slick or cheesy or fake, because both parties honor and respect each other.
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if you’re authentic from the beginning about who you are and what you have to give, it means that you’ve found the right audience (or you’ve allowed the right audience to find you). And although we need solitude in which to dream and reflect and synthesize and Do the Work, we also need relationship and connection, those intersections with each other, to spark creative thinking in the first place (and provide constructive feedback).
In other words, the artist needs a right audience as much as the right audience needs her. Good marketing is the road that enables them to find each other. Good marketing is about authenticity, connection, and relationship (whether that relationship lasts for five hours or five years).
Blogging might indeed be a form of marketing — but marketing is a form of seduction — and seduction itself is an art.
"Without a context, the truth can mislead. Excluding the context on purpose, when you know that it will be misunderstood, is often as good as lying. "
If online porn can be seen as the wholesale leaking of sexual secrets, then its effect on traditional sexuality-- good and bad-- may serve as an analogy worth pondering.
in list: BUILD SOCEITY: psychological law
"None of this is news, it is drama, portraits of courage and sadness."...No sense in describing why earthquakes happen, so let's delve into the victims' stories...But sadness isn't going to prevent this from happening again, sadness isn't going to restructure the planet so that people don't want to do these things. You might say anger won't either, but I'll take my chances...because his is the only name we can pronounce. We don't even know what to call the attacks, so we call it by its date...How can they sympathize with how we feel when we ourselves don't know what we feel? ..."We are all Americans" means to the writer at Le Monde: "we could be next." That's all he cares about...do you answer "I am sad" or "I am angry"? Or do you externalize your answer and put it in the past tense, as if the emotion was something that came at you from the outside, "it was sad", or "I felt angry"? ...I don't want to cope. I want to see the videos of the planes being flown into the Towers. If we allow ourselves to choose the path of sadness, then nothing has been accomplished, everyone died for nothing. It will have been nothing more than an earthquake.I don't want to get past this. Nor do I want it to get past me.
deliberately traded precision for brevity
dick move
A clumsy parasite may occasionally kill the host, but that's not its goal.
without waiting for the government: ask companies where they stand.
Don’t feed the trolls unless *I’m* really interested in the gossip
so travel and meet ppl often
in list: BUILD SOCEITY: psychological law
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Think of the mind as a river: the faster it flows, the better it keeps up with the present and responds to change. The faster it flows, also the more it refreshes itself and the greater its energy. Obsessional thoughts, past experiences (whether traumas or successes), and preconceived notions are like boulders or mud in this river, settling and hardening there and damming it up. The river stops moving; stagnation sets in. You must wage constant war on this tendency in the mind.
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Often it’s the discipline of shipping that separates the creatives from the wannabes.
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Shipping starts to create the space where your art will find an audience. For all the time an artist spends inside her head, she needs to stay tethered to the reality outside it.
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The irony is that you can never escape Resistance, because the presence of Resistance is a sign that you’re moving toward your true work
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Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance.
The Resistance is the enemy. The Resistance is procrastination, distraction, self-sabotage, a friend’s negativity, hurtful criticism, or anything else that keeps you from making art.
The irony is that you can never escape Resistance, because the presence of Resistance is a sign that you’re moving toward your true work
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degree of fear equates to the strength of Resistance. Therefore, the more fear we feel about a specific enterprise, the more certain we can be that that enterprise is important to us and to the growth of our soul. That’s why we feel so much Resistance. If it meant nothing to us, there’d be no Resistance. [...]
The professional tackles the project that will make him stretch. He takes on the assignment that will bear him into uncharted waters, compel him to explore unconscious parts of himself. - 6 more annotation(s)...
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But if we are held back, if we experience traumas in the form of unwanted change and confrontations, adversity, criticism from others, failure on any level, feeling too alone, then the opposite movement will occur. We will develop irrational fears about the world, and we will always move back to the warmth of the family to protect us. The need for comfort becomes more powerful than the desire to explore. And if our parents are nervous and full of fears themselves, this centripetal pull will be even stronger.
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At some point on this journey we find ourselves thrust into the cold and merciless work world. The illusion of being protected by mother, family or group is now gone. We must fend for ourselves. Our actions will determine how far we advance towards power. And if we continue to carry within us the irrational and unchallenged fears of our youth, we will inevitably resort to the regressive pattern that began in infancy. We will stick to a job or position that seems secure. Within that job, we can collect a paycheck and have our needs met--a womb-like relationship. We will adhere to the behavior patterns of our peers, or listen to the voices of our parents. Deep within, our thought process will also be infected. Certain ideas, cherished beliefs, strategies of action will become fixed in our brains; we will no longer be so open to new concepts or ways of doing things. Our minds will circle in familiar patterns.
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