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"Try not to renounce your old friends except when they exhibit an excess of wickedness." An excess of wickedness was Aristotle's trigger for disloyalty. Or as Sir Walter Scott said, "I like a highland friend who will stand by me not only when I am in the right, but when I am little in the wrong." A lot in the wrong is different; too much loyalty and soon we're talking about a vice, not a virtue.If we're not willing to untangle loyalty conflicts as they arise, we give up on loyalty altogether, and life becomes impossible.
in list: BUILD SOCEITY: psychological law
"You are underestimating the future. You are fretting about the now; worrying about little things that don't matter. You are wasting precious energy obsessing over irrelevant details. You don't believe that a better future is out there and can be built, that it can exceed people's expectations, because you're spending so much time considering the truth of the present and the seemingly important lessons of the past." -steve jobs
you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.
Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
stay hungry.stay foolish
"personal secularity is primarily the result of brain function combined with access to knowledge, information, and a social setting allowing disbelief. Given the right conditions, the result will be an individual who does not accept supernatural explanations."while sexual orientation is not a matter of choice, we should realize that neither are one's sincerely held beliefs about divinities. if environment is key to the spread of secularity, and if the explosion of knowledge in recent centuries has made the idea of disbelief more compelling, it would seem that the long-term trend toward secularity, even if slow, is likely to continue.
secular movement tries to slant the environmental factors in its favor also, but those efforts don't involve the intellectual dishonesty that the Religious Right utilizes.
thirteenth-century Dawkins would most likely have been a theist, a thirteenth-century Elton John no doubt still would have been gay.
You find your Way by sorting out what exactly is within your control and what is not, and then finding the particular thoughts and actions…that best fit what is beyond your control…You do what you can, not what you want. Your aim, in the beginning, isn’t to present to the world a perfect and perfectly completed Thing (that the world may not want in the first place), but to test the assumptions your Thing depends on to find out what is true, what works – and what doesn’t.Build-Measure-Learn: you build the minimum viable version of whatever it is that you’re working on, show it to people, find ways to measure reaction and impact, and learn, learn, learn. You then apply that learning to the next version of your Thing.you are not asking people what they think they want. People are generally resistant to change and don’t know what they want until they have it — and then wonder how they lived without it in the first place. you’re studying the conversation between you and your audience. Change doesn’t happen with one individual, but in the spaces, the interactions between them.You search out those spaces where your strengths and desires naturally intersect with that conversation, instead of falling beyond it where no one is listening. you stay closely connected to that world through observation, experimentation and insight.you focus on the journey: what you learn, how it feels and how it changes you. You let your Vision arise from that.Journey first, destination second.
"When someone does something that bothers you, it's important to take that immediate opportunity to tell them. you do have to confront the situation or risk encouraging the bad behavior you're seeking to prevent."
"The difference between being conquered and being seduced is: everybody wants to be seduced."Because the key to seduction involves getting inside the other person's head, recognizing what he or she wants, and then giving it to them without making them feel like they're expected to give something back in return. (As soon as someone feels unduly pressured or chased, or senses an agenda, it's over.) It's not about the sexy black dress or the flashy car: those are props. Most people suck at seduction because most people suck at good listening. When you know how to tune into the other person, to make them feel like the object of your authentic and focused attention, you don't need the perfect breasts or the big stock options (although they probably don't hurt)...it's a connection made through recognition of a need, and providing a solution to that need, and it leaves both people feeling good about the exchange (ie: that neither was manipulated or taken advantage of). Which inspires trust. Which leads you (if you want) into deeper relationship. There's no pressure, because there's no desperation; people know they have other options. There's nothing slick or cheesy or fake, because both parties honor and respect each other.
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if you’re authentic from the beginning about who you are and what you have to give, it means that you’ve found the right audience (or you’ve allowed the right audience to find you). And although we need solitude in which to dream and reflect and synthesize and Do the Work, we also need relationship and connection, those intersections with each other, to spark creative thinking in the first place (and provide constructive feedback).
In other words, the artist needs a right audience as much as the right audience needs her. Good marketing is the road that enables them to find each other. Good marketing is about authenticity, connection, and relationship (whether that relationship lasts for five hours or five years).
Blogging might indeed be a form of marketing — but marketing is a form of seduction — and seduction itself is an art.
There are few moments in life that you can clearly label win or lose. Instead of focusing on those moments, it’s best to just stay in the game.so many people lose isn’t because they weren’t swinging hard enough. It’s because they quit too early after striking out.
ask yourself whether you want to go the same direction they are headed. If not, why are you following them?
Spend Time With What You Love.
You get points for showing their faults, and by supporting nothing, nobody can give a rebuttal.I’ve realized I don’t want to appear sophisticated if that’s the cost. I’d rather be optimistic, pursue and create things that have flaws and be criticized for it. I’ve also learned I don’t want to spend time with people who are quick to criticize and slow to produce.
in list: NETWORKING
in list: NETWORKING
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We all want to be respected, by ourselves and others, or at least not despised or ignored. So we fill our lives with activities that could get us more admired, such as pursuing our career, practicing our art or sport, tending our beauty, developing our style, being loyal to our friends and family, caring for the downtrodden, becoming more informed about current events, and so on.
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we fill our lives with activities that could get us more admired, such as pursuing our career, practicing our art or sport, tending our beauty, developing our style, being loyal to our friends and family, caring for the downtrodden, becoming more informed about current events, and so on.
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in list: MEDEDU, NETWORKING
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10 per cent of clients actually get worse after starting therapy.
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treatments that potentially cause harm ‘should be avoided, or in the case of treatments that yield both positive and negative effects, implemented only with caution’.
Among the treatments Lilienfeld listed are critical incident stress debriefing, facilitated communication, recovered-memory techniques, boot camps for conduct disorder (see box 1), attachment therapy, dissociative identity disorder-oriented psychotherapy, grief counselling for normal bereavement and expressive-experiential psychotherapies.
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tasks that are extrinsically motivated drain energy and willpower. Over time, they become harder and harder to continue. The effect is so subtle that even societal pressure — for example, a major being generally understood to be a practical choice — can act as extrinsic motivation, making an activity increasingly hard to continue.
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You need a technical major to get a technical job. Technical jobs pay slightly better than non-technical jobs. Beyond that, your choice of major doesn’t matter for your future job prospects or pay. Trust me, the slightly larger paycheck of the technical majors doesn’t justify majoring in these fields if you don’t love the subject
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in list: NETWORKING
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People have been known to say some pretty scurrilous things about other people when they know they won’t be held accountable. It isn’t fair, and it isn’t right. I will frequently hold up my palm and say, “No, please don’t say it. You wouldn’t want me using something about you that another person wasn’t willing to own up to, so I’d rather you not do it, either.” That can make you look quite high-and-mighty, a paragon of virtue. I’ve also had success saying, “No, I’d rather you not say it at all. If you’re not willing to attach your name to it, I frankly don’t trust it.” Some soures find that irritating, and even insulting, which is fine. Getting them a little angry, a little belligerant, is often a way to get them to talk more.
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People have been known to say some pretty scurrilous things about other people when they know they won’t be held accountable. It isn’t fair, and it isn’t right. I will frequently hold up my palm and say, “No, please don’t say it. You wouldn’t want me using something about you that another person wasn’t willing to own up to, so I’d rather you not do it, either.” That can make you look quite high-and-mighty, a paragon of virtue. I’ve also had success saying, “No, I’d rather you not say it at all. If you’re not willing to attach your name to it, I frankly don’t trust it.”
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in list: NETWORKING
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- Make sure the venue offers clear metrics on your progress; use these metrics to guide your efforts to get better.
- Forget all the other bullshit advice and mini-strategies people offer for getting ahead in your pursuit. If you can’t master this one venue, then you don’t yet deserve the world’s respect.
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college’s literary journal. The entry level for this venue is getting a piece published. The higher levels include getting a story featured on the cover and being invited to join the editorial board.
If he can’t conquer this venue then he certainly can’t expect a book deal. So instead of wasting time reading about tricks for getting an agent, or diving straight into a novel manuscript, he should consider pouring all of his writerly focus into this Pyramid.
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in list: NETWORKING
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exposing yourself to smart people proposing, arguing, and defending big, intellectual ideas. Subscribe to the Arts & Letters Daily feed. Read Harpers and The Atlantic. Haunt the non-fiction tables at Barnes & Nobles, then pick up what looks interesting and spend serious time reading your selections at the in-store Starbucks.
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This provides the filter through which they encounter their academic training. Reading assignments stop becoming chores and turn, instead, into sources of inspiration. Papers turn from dreaded foe into opportunities to express something new. These students seek out interesting speakers on campus and get involved with interesting activities. They also tend to produce A* work which generates huge advantages.
in list: NETWORKING
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people should adopt a centenarian life strategy (you're going to live till you're 100); embrace your 20's as the odyssey / wandering years; expose yourself to bulk, positive randomness; travel as much as possible; don't do what you love, do what you are; choose jobs based on the people more than company (reach out to heros); de-emphasize long-term plans or goals; default to 'yes' to avoid later regret; perhaps embrace uncertainty; see virtue in shade over light; work on your ping-pong backhand.
To score, keep your goals to yourself http://www.montrealgazette.com/Technology/score+keep+your+goals+yourself+Study/1554622/story.html
when dealing with identity goals — that is, the aspirations that define who we are — sharing our intentions doesn't necessarily motivate achievement. On the contrary, a series of experiments shows that when others take notice of our plans, performance is compromised because we gain "a premature sense of completeness" about the goal.
We always think that if we talk about our intentions, we'll feel obligated to enact them . . . But when it comes to identity goals, our (study's) message is: don't make them public."
for all "highly committed" individuals who are in pursuit of a goal germane to who they are or how they wish to be seen.
This is evident in the statement of a "high-order goal," such as losing weight to become a healthier person, but not in planning to drop three pounds to fit into a dress.
it exposes the limitations of earlier research by proving public commitment might actually "backfire" where issues of identity are concerned.
can actually become less active in their goal pursuit
especially strong among individuals who express high levels of goal-commitment for the same reason insecure men often buy flashy cars: overcompensation.
There can be a feeling that if you really express your desire strongly enough, you can get there, you can overcome the obstacles,
Those intentions may be compensating for actual belief that you can do it
"If you're more short-term focused, (getting noticed) may decrease your commitment to follow through with those intentions; you lose sight of the larger goal
Where (public) recognition might get in the way of the goal is when people aren't ready to take on this new and improved aspect of themselves.
in list: NETWORKING
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Even with a burning desire to succeed and a great strategy, you can still fail. And failure means you’ve stranded yourself without an alternative route.
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. If you had started the business part time, gained some experience and jumped ships when it was in a condition sufficient to pay your bills, that would be smarter
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in list: NETWORKING
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concept of “patternicity,” which I defined in my December 2008 column as the human tendency to find meaningful patterns in meaningless noise
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The problem is that we did not evolve a baloney-detection device in our brains to discriminate between true and false patterns.
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