Elena LaVictoire's Library tagged stillbirth →  View Popular

It is always sad to hear about the loss of a child. Today I read a story about Christ Hospital in New Jersey, where an investigation is being conducted to determine whether a mother’s stillborn baby was thrown out with the hospital’s garbage. Of course, the family is devastated.

Unfortunately, this is not the first time I have heard a story like this. There have been other stories of infants “thrown out” or “misplaced.” These babies have died from premature birth or other medical conditions and have been misplaced in a hospital setting, creating an unimaginable scenario for a family that is already in a devastating position.

Many American hospitals continue to pay little attention to the fact that a fetal loss is something that a mother and family never forget. That infant, over the course of the pregnancy, became part of the family and proper respect must always be given.

The bereavement procedure in hospitals has to ensure proper support for the mother. If it cannot, it must provide alternative social service counseling. It must give resources to the family to talk about their grief and provide all possible outlets. A stillborn baby is a human being – even if the law doesn’t acknowledge it as such — that is part of a family.

I have tried to talk to the hospital, to the Hudson County Prosecutor’s office, as well as the Jersey City Police Department, to try to understand how a baby’s corpse could have possibly been thrown out with the hospital trash, but no proper answers were given, since everybody is hiding behind rules and regulations.

A mother’s child must always be respected – whether alive or dead. And I am truly sorry for what has happened to this family. I just hope that this hospital will learn so that this will never happen again.

• One of the last things on a grieving parents mind is food and cooking. There are several different gift baskets you could put together for the family. Some ideas may be a gift basket of paper plates, napkins, plastic silverware, kleenex, bathroom tissue etc. Or, a gift basket of snack crackers, cheese and fruit, or vegetables and dip and fruit juice. Home cooked casseroles, cookies and bars the family could serve if they have company over are great ideas too. It was nice to have those "quick and easy" items on hand.
• Offer to come over to throw a load of laundry in the wash, or other light duty house work. This is something I had done for me, and I truly appreciated it.
• Give a gift certificate to the families favorite restaurant, preferably with no expiration date if possible. Or even take out pizza certificates.
• Lending a hand if we have other children. Taking them to school events, or out for a meal, to the park or movie etc.
• Gift basket just for mom. Bubble bath, shower gel, stress relieving soaks, candles, etc. Or lounge clothing and a box of chocolates or other sweet.