Gibarian's Favorite Links on humour from Diigo

Jokes For Nerds: "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" And Other Pop Songs Expressed With Graphs

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 11:20:21 -0000

This is fantastic! HAHA. (haha indicating that it's actually really funny)

Tags: humour tumble

Posted by: gibarian

TinyPic - Share The Experience!™

Sat, 15 Mar 2008 18:29:42 -0000

Highlights and Sticky Notes:

Actually, here's why: The person could have some sort of heavy stuff to transport from boat to house. Like some sort of part for the lighthouse. Which of course doesn't make the image less funny. But still, since you asked. posted by gibarian

Tags: car humour image

Posted by: gibarian

Weirdest Crime

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 12:13:29 -0000

I can totally see that happening.

Tags: burglar crime humour tumble wtf

Posted by: gibarian

Got Medieval: Whither the Chainmail Bikini?

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 11:01:23 -0000

Tags: bikini chainmail humour medieval

Posted by: gibarian

passive-aggressive notes from roommates, neighbors, coworkers and strangers

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 17:58:30 -0000

Tags: humour notes real

Posted by: gibarian

Some Useful Condescending Phrases

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 10:59:30 -0000

Highlights and Sticky Notes:

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
No, my powers can only be used for good.
How about never? Is never good for you?
I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
Who me? I just wander from room to room.
My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

Tags: condescending humour phrases work

Posted by: gibarian

Grim Anniversary + Medieval Law & Order

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 12:27:44 -0000

Comments:

LLCoolCarl III is just the best. posted by gibarian

Highlights and Sticky Notes:

I cleaned up the translation a little to remove some of those eths and ests and such, which you can find in all their glory at the link above. I kept the last, though, as this is my new motto: That appertaineth not to me to do. I'm going to put it on tee-shirts and coffee mugs. And when my wife asks me to do the dishes, I'll just point at the (dirty) coffee mug and nod knowingly.

Tags: humour medieval tumble

Posted by: gibarian

Got Medieval: Beowulf: The Footwear

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 08:49:49 -0000

Highlights and Sticky Notes:

Apparently, Grendel's mother wears high-heels. Or, more accurately, as a shape-shifter*, she has made her feet into high heels.** Now, granted, there are no high heels in the Anglo-Saxon poem, as high heels didn't manage to get invented until the sixteenth century, but this sort of observation is just pure academic pedantry. I might as well point out that there wasn't computer animation in fifth-century Denmark, at least, no computer animation that remains extant. And while some historians theorize that there was a form of computer animation that was transmitted orally, it's beside the point.***

The important thing here is not the anachronism, it's the symbolism. In order to make Grendel's mother into more of a Stacy's Mom****, the creators of the movie had to dig deep into our collective unconscious to find a symbol for sexuality so unusual, so revolutionary, that the only option left to them was the high heel.

Now, I hear you saying, "Isn't the high heel already associated with sexuality?" Yes, of course, and that is what makes it so revolutionary. Normal high heels are devices used to create the appearance of sexuality, by making the feet look smaller, the legs longer, the calves tauter, etc. As a shape-shifter, Grendel's mother is in complete control of her physical form. She can make her feet as small as she'd like and lengthen her legs to match. In making her feet into shoes, she has had to actually increase the size of her feet and shorten the length of her leg--she has made herself less sexy, so that she can appear more sexy. The high heels then contribute nothing to the process except for the reminder of their normal function. She's more seductive because she has had to take pains to appear like she had to take pains to appear more seductive. Don't you see, man, the high heels symbolize the very act of symbolism, and isn't that the most symbolic thing of all? I mean, dude. Duuuude.******

Tags: beowulf humour medieval tumble

Posted by: gibarian

The Island and Lake Combination

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 02:34:20 -0000

Tags: humour trivia

Posted by: gibarian

How NOT to use Powerpoint

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 04:38:00 -0000

Tags: humour powerpoint satire

Posted by: gibarian

xkcd - A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language - By Randall Munroe

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 08:10:38 -0000

Highlights and Sticky Notes:

Tags: comic humour linux tumble

Posted by: gibarian

passive-aggressive notes from roommates, neighbors, coworkers and strangers

Mon, 21 May 2007 23:22:14 -0000

Tags: humour tumble

Posted by: gibarian

Linus Torvalds Facts

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 09:07:05 -0000

Comments:

Like the infamous Chuck Norris Facts, only with a lot more nerd and a lot less guns.
posted by gibarian

Highlights and Sticky Notes:

Linus Torvalds facts

Linus Torvalds facts are a series of humorous sayings regarding Linus Torvalds.

Some of them include:

Linus Torvalds edited this page.
Linus Torvalds can program without a keyboard
Since 1969, the year Linus Torvalds was born, software quality has increased 19.000 percent.
The commonest definition of the word programmer is Linus Torvalds
Linus Torvalds didn't learn from the University of Helsinki the University of Helsinki learned from Linus Torvalds.
Linus Torvalds finished the Linux Kernel the day before he started on it.
Linus Torvalds once developed a programming language so good that it makes python look like punch cards.
Linus Torvalds doesn't need to boot.
Linus Torvalds first written program had artificial intelligence.
Linus Torvalds doesn't receive error messages.
There is no theory of probability, just a list of events that Linus Torvalds allows to occur.
Linus Torvalds doesn't use a monitor. He can read the video signals from a VGA cable with his finger.
Linus Torvalds can write to ntfs.
Linus Torvalds can install gentoo in under a day.
When Linus Torvalds writes new software, he just makes punch cards with his teeth and feeds them into a reader.
Linus Torvalds source codes compile themselves.
When Linus Torvalds learned to program, the computer printed HELLO, WORLD by itself.
Linus was considered as being old and stable at 24, but new and bleeding edge at 26
Linus surfs the web using nothing but netcat
Linus Torvalds can play 3D games in his head by interpreting the source code in real-time.
Being touched by Linus can cure carpal tunnel syndrome. He does not cure RMS because he thinks it's funny to listen to RMS dictating code for the HURD.
Linus Torvalds only wears glasses to make him seem more human.
Linus Torvalds can fluently converse with setup wizard. They play basketball on Sundays.
Linus Torvalds is the only known entity capable of uploading pure pleasure.
Linus Torvalds can read your computer registry from any given point in the world, through any material.
Linus Torvalds takes one look at your desktop and knows which porn sites you visited. In the last ten years.

Tags: fact humour linus linux torvalds

Posted by: gibarian

FarSideDog2.jpg (JPEG Image, 747x1001 pixels) - Scaled (58%)

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 15:06:07 -0000

Tags: dogs farside humour larson translation

Posted by: gibarian

the world is 6000 years old

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 07:59:42 -0000

Highlights and Sticky Notes:

Tags: creationism evolution humour science

Posted by: gibarian

The Middle East in a bourne shell

Tue, 29 Aug 2006 12:45:59 -0000

Highlights and Sticky Notes:

$ cd /middle_east
$ ls
Afghanistan   Iraq          Libya         Saudi_Arabia UAE
Algeria       Israel        Morrocco      Sudan         Yemen
Bahrain       Jordan        Oman          Syria
Egypt         Kuwait        Palestine     Tunisia
Iran          Lebanon       Qatar         Turkey

$ cd Afghanistan
$ ls
bin Taliban
$ rm Taliban
rm: Taliban is a directory
$ cd Taliban
$ ls
soldiers
$ rm soldiers
$ cd ..
$ rmdir Taliban
rmdir: directory "Taliban": Directory not empty
$ cd Taliban
$ ls -a
.            ..           .insurgents
$ chown -R USA .*
chown: .insurgents: Not owner
$ cd ..
$ su
Password: *******
# mv Taliban /tmp
# exit
$ ls
bin
$ cd bin
$ ls
laden
$ cd ..
$ rm -r bin/laden
bin/laden: No such file or directory
$ find / -name laden
$
$ su
Password: *******
# mv bin /tmp
# exit
$ pwd
/middle_east/Afghanistan
$ cd /opt/UN
$ ln -s /Bad_Guys/Al_Qaeda /middle_east/Iraq/.
ln: cannot create /middle_east/Iraq/Al_Qaeda: Permission denied
$ su
Password:*******
# ln -s /Bad_Guys/Al_Qaeda /middle_east/Iraq/.
# cd /middle_east/Iraq/Al_Qaeda
Al_Qaeda: does not exist
# rm /middle_east/Iraq/Al_Qaeda
# mkfile 100g /middle_east/Iraq/Al_Qaeda
mkfile: No space left on device
# rm /middle_east/Iraq/Al_Qaeda
# cd /opt/Coalition/Willing
# mkfile 1b /middle_east/Iraq/Al_Qaeda
# chown -R USA:Proof /middle_east/Iraq/Al_Qaeda
#exit
$ cd /middle_east/Iraq
$ ls
saddam
$ ls
saddam
$ ls
saddam
$ ls -a
.            ..           saddam
$ find / -name [Ww][Mm][Dd]
/Korea/North/wMd
$ wall Propaganda.txt
Broadcast Message from USA (pts/1) on USS_Abraham_Lincoln Th May 1st
Mission Accomplished!
$ rm saddam
saddam: No such file or directory
$ find / -name saddam
/var/opt/dictators/spiderhole/saddam
$ wall NewsWorthy.txt
Broadcast Message from USA (pts/1) on Time.Magazine Sat Dec 13
We Got Him!
$ mv /var/opt/dictators/spiderhole/saddam /opt/jail
$ cd /opt/USA
$ cp -Rp Democracy /middle_east/Iraq
$ cd /middle_east/Iraq/Democracy
$ ./install
Install Error: Install failed. See install_log for details.
$ more install_log
Installed failed!
Prerequisite packages missing
Conflicting package Wahhabism found in /midde_east/Saudi_Arabia
Packages Church and State must be installed separately
File System /PeakOil nearing capacity
Please read the install guide to properly plan your installation.
$

That's a very nice and concise way of presenting the conflict. Well done! posted by gibarian

Tags: bourne geeks humour middle_east unix

Posted by: gibarian

One Million Thankyous

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 11:13:59 -0000

Tags: fun humour

Posted by: gibarian

Ricky Gervais - Microsoft 1 - Google Video

Sun, 20 Aug 2006 05:30:50 -0000

Tags: humour microsoft ricky_gervais

Posted by: gibarian

Black Metal: How-to?

Thu, 03 Aug 2006 05:49:14 -0000

Tags: blackmetal fun howto humour

Posted by: gibarian

Penguin Pete's Blog - How To Totally Fake Being A Geek

Thu, 03 Aug 2006 05:43:37 -0000

Highlights and Sticky Notes:

"I run Yggdrasil on a PDP-11. Boy, it was a bitch installing all that from tape!"

That reminds me of the black metal name generator. posted by gibarian

Hobbies: The more obscure, the better. You can always start out with the standard model-building, model railroads, chess, Medievalism. But since geeks love being narrow, beleaguered minorities, don't let that stop you from picking increasingly more esoteric interests, until you're assured that the person you're talking to will never be able to trip you up on cross examination. Instead of crossword, say cryptic. Instead of chess, say go. Instead of tennis, say fencing. Best is to find something that NOBODY ELSE IN THE ROOM HAS HEARD OF. Including interests of your own sole invention. Tell me "I collect cephalopod footprint fossils." doesn't hush the room.

Tags: advice geeks humour lifehacks

Posted by: gibarian