jane dinh's Profile

In one study, the researchers compared the effects of emotionality in introductory emails. So while JimJ789 exclaimed "Travel excites me since it allows me to see places and people that I read about," FrankXYZ summoned only "I also like to travel. After I go on a vacation I feel very content that I have done something I like." Unsurprisingly, Jim was seen as more confident, happy, enthusiastic, cheerful, energetic, excited, interesting, proud, determined, strong, bold, and daring, while Frank was seen as more calm, relaxed, at ease, shy, and nervous.

"If you notice somebody's eye color, and you say 'great' to yourself, you will actually be smiling, and you will give off a super mood."

"Cognitive science teaches us that skills and knowledge are interdependent and that possessing a base of knowledge is necessary to the acquisition not only of more knowledge, but also of skills. Skills can neither be taught nor applied effectively without prior knowledge of a wide array of subjects."

HOW YOU LIVE CHANGES YOUR BRAIN.

DOUBT IS BETTER THAN CERTAINTY.

the important thing that I can tell you is that there is a test to determine whether someone is toxic or nourishing in your relationship with them. Here is the test: You have spent some time with this person, either you have a drink or go for dinner or you go to a ball game. It doesn’t matter very much but at the end of that time you observe whether you are more energised or less energised. Whether you are tired or whether you are exhilarated. If you are more tired then you have been poisoned. If you have more energy you have been nourished. The test is almost infallible and I suggest that you use it for the rest of your life.

When you use silent approval on yourself, you tell your subconscious that your current standards of performance are acceptable.  So don’t be surprised when you keep getting the same results year after year.

What would happen if instead of focusing on the fear of negative consequences from social interaction, you focused on the anticipation of positive consequences, such as forming new friendships, helping people grow, making people laugh, falling in love, etc.?

Your actual behavior will be largely determined by which side you predominantly focus on — minimizing the downside or maximizing the upside.

Why would you want to spend more time with people you don’t like? If becoming more extroverted means spending more time with people you’d rather avoid, you’ll have no motivation to do it. Again, you’re free to break this pattern and form a social group that you’d love to be a part of.

It doesn’t matter how well-credentialed an expert is or what studies they have to back up their claims. Unless they’ve studied you personally, be suspicious of any advice that comes from “general findings.” If possible find out if it works through direct experience, but if it doesn’t work, simply say, “Next!”

How well do studies on “average” people apply to someone who isn’t average? Are you average? I’m certainly not.

A woman inspires others to be better than they are, to love others, to live fully.  A woman challenges others to be themselves, authentically, in every moment.