So the mistakes as I view them are below:

Absence of a compelling summary in the first two sentences

I think it is evident that even the relatively well-known bloggers get quite a number of pitches in their inbox every day and we actually make the decision if this or that startup will get the coverage based on the first few sentences. The entire press release will be actually read only if the summary is compelling and gives me an idea of why this one is a unique product worth reviewing. This is why sending the press release without a sentence or two to introduce the product will rarely work.

Lack of details

While the introduction is crucial for the blogger to make a decision if the product is worth time and energy for coverage, if the decision is made, it is much more convenient when in addition to the short and catching summary we also have all the details we may need about the product or the company (like when the company was founded and how it is financed, what technologies are behind the product, etc.). If such details are readily available, it will really make writing the review much an easier thing to do.

Sure, we can always contact you for more information should we need it. And we can also browse your site looking for the information we are interested in. But in the blogosphere it is often important to be the first to write the review instead of waiting for some extra information while others publish their less informative posts. So do consider making our lives easier and don’t forget to provide all the information that you typically see in a startup review about your product and your business.

Using the word “revolutionary” in your pitch

I think all the bloggers have seen this word used in pitches too often and they simply tend not to notice any revolution in every startup that chooses to claim it offers one. The number of buzzwords in your pitch should be reasonable and definitely should not exceed the number of normal words in it. It is not absolutely necessary to use buzzwords to describe the nature and goal of any application that has some real-life value to it. And if you can describe the application using normal language, chances are we will see the value ourselves and pick your particular application for coverage.