25 items | 3 visits
Ms. Tunik's List: superheroes
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Jun 22, 10
"or this superhero, the blink of an eye means something quite different. That's because every time he blinks, he produces a Polaroid of whatever he was looking at. We're not completely sure where the photos come out. But we have an idea.
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13th Bullet Bulletproof
SUPERUSELESS SUPERPOWER: Eventual Kevlar Skin.
Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Boink.
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In-flight flight
SUPERUSELESS SUPERPOWER: In-flight flight.
Being able to soar through the air still won't save you from recycled oxygen and endless stories from complete strangers. Known as the "Cabin Sparrow," this so-called power lets you fly, but only within the confines of an airplane. At least you can leapfrog the beverage cart when explosive diarrhea strikes at 30,000 feet.
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Laser Pointer Vision*
SUPERUSELESS SUPERPOWER: Laser Pointer Vision*
Your gaze isn't strong enough to burn through anything, just strong enough to point things out. Makes prolonged eye contact particularly awkward and painful during romantic dinners and job interviews.
*This superuseless power comes to us from none other than Christian Lander, author of the blog and now book, Stuff White People Like. SWPL is one of our favs, so if you haven?t checked it out, do so right this minute...
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Mamavision, a.k.a. PreMOMnition
SUPERUSELESS SUPERPOWER: PreMOMnition
The power to see what your mother is doing at all times. PreMOMnition cannot be turned off and operates similar to picture-in-picture technology, so your mom is ALWAYS in your field of vision. Oh, and good luck trying to get laid. Even viagra can’t combat real-time images of your mom waxing your father’s back.
[Congratulations Antelieris! It was tough, but yours was the superest-uselessest. Check out a couple "honorable mentions" after the jump!]
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ShadowFlex
SUPERUSELESS SUPERPOWER: ShadowFlex
Bunny rabbits and birds. These are the normal human limits of -
Jun 22, 10
captain hair, insane old man, chippindale boy, frat boy
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Jun 22, 10
disco boy, hummingbird man, lapdance boy, bar room brawl man
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Jun 22, 10
viagra man, uncertain sexuality, interpretive dance, sad drunk woman
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Jun 22, 10
not hot but spicy man, ridicules people behind their back, panic man, malfunctioning robot
good for class! -
Jun 22, 10
underwear, totally worships me, chippindale dancer, angry new york cop
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Jun 22, 10
armpit man, fashion photo kid, panic, does the splits
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Jun 22, 10
captain obvious, hyperactive moth,jitterbug boy, thinks everybody is on fire boy
funny! -
Jun 22, 10
political candidate man, toddler doing everythig for the first time boy, mosh pit kid, can't control his stallion
good -
Jun 23, 10
imaginary friend boy, break up and make up, the overly sensitive kid, matrix
includes the word "ass" -
Jun 23, 10
suicide boy, yodeling pogostick man, captain blood loss, cowboy stunt rider
funny -
Jun 23, 10
cottage cheese man, narrowly escaped death kid, captain salmon, caught in a wind tunnel
funny -
Jun 23, 10
super rabbi, deathly afraid of everything man, captain cliche, uncordinated go go girl
pretty good -
Jun 23, 10
mad cow man, athletic slap on the butt man, ants in his pannts boy, anything you can do I can do better kid
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Jun 23, 10
spineless man, seductive shower boy, salmonella kid, bitchy gossip woman
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Jun 23, 10
Tom Arnold, guy who channels the spirits of farm animals, captain streaker, Man who mimics everyone while under caffeine
funny -
Jun 23, 10
magnet man, mesmerized by moving objects man, bob fawcett kid, chainsaw massacre boy
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Jun 23, 10
dogcatcher boy, bodyparts constantly falling asleep boy, captain cossacks, Ty Bo kid
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Jun 23, 10
intro to superfriends. Shows skills of each
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