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by understanding dissimilar personalities [perspectives, emotions & abilities], I hope to become more tolerant & improve upon my networking skills
Updated on 2009-11-30
Created on 2009-08-22
Category: Cultures & Community
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Why Do We Swear? | World of Psychology
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sexual references (fuck), those that are profane or blasphemous (goddamn), scatological or disgusting objects (shit), animal names (pig, ass), ethnic/racial/gender slurs (fag), ancestral allusions (bastard)
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depending upon the company we’re in, and what our relationship is to that company, as well as the social setting. We’re more apt to use less offensive terms in mixed company or in settings where more offensive swear words might result in recrimination
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How to Deal With Negative Emotions
negative communication in relationships arises because we treat feelings as facts, and tend to skip over the thoughts that underly those feelings
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Thoughts precede emotions.
2. Honesty requires that we communicate our thoughts and feelings, not our conclusions.Molyneux’s point is that so much of the negative communication in relationships arises because we treat feelings as facts, and tend to skip over the thoughts that underly those feelings. This results in arguments that are, in essence, based on mythology.
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Thoughts precede emotions. Emotions, in and of themselves, tell you nothing about the facts of reality.
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Overcoming Bias : Make More Than GPA
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if you try to study a subject in depth without following a textbook or review, you’ll have to decide for yourself which sources seem how relevant to your topic. If you try to add something to the subject you’ll have to decide what changes are how feasible and interesting. Doing these may feel awkward at first, but they will be very useful skills later in life. Similar skills come from writing your own game or starting your own business or composing your own album.
Most of the interesting academics I know spent lots of time when young structuring their own “unstructured” activities
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why you need to write like a bad girl, part one « Tribal Writer
rebel your own ways of thinking that you have taken for granted.
rebel those voices that you internalized until those perceptions of me became what i'm to me.
When you become a REBELLION you say A HEALTHY FUCK YOU to all that.
Claim the truth of your life & yourself. Fight for the right to your own personhood instead of being an extension or reflection of others.-
“You need to write like the bad daughter.”
If she could tell how she fought her parents for the right to her own personhood instead of being an extension or reflection of them, she could claim the truth of her life and herself — and offer up a valuable story in the process.
If she wrote as the good daughter, she was doomed.
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They want you to love them, or to look at them, which to them is much the same thing.
A true bad girl doesn’t give a damn.
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Overcoming Bias : Praise Results
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Very small acts are often mentioned, if they seem telling. And we often hear that someone was head of an organization, or had a credential, without hearing much about what they did with such influence. We often hear they were part of some project without hearing the difference they made, and the differences we do hear about are often merely due to others knowing of their association with the project.
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we often hear that someone was head of an organization, or had a credential, without hearing much about what they did with such influence. We often hear they were part of some project without hearing the difference they made
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Overcoming Bias : Contrarian Excuses
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Honest contrarians who expect reasonable outsiders to give their contrarian view more than normal credence should point to strong outside indicators that correlate enough with contrarians tending more to be right.
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higher aspirations
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Rejection massively reduces IQ - life - 15 March 2002 - New Scientist
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Rejection can dramatically reduce a person's IQ and their ability to reason analytically, while increasing their aggression
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This tells us a lot about human nature. People really seem designed to get along with others, and when you're excluded, this has significant effects
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Predictably Irrational » Blog Archive » Sex, Shaving, and Bad Underwear
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As I mention in Predictably Irrational, this predicament has to do with our inherent Jekyll-Hyde nature: We just aren’t the same person all the time. In our cold, dispassionate state, we stick to our long-term goals (I will lose ten pounds); but when we become emotionally aroused, our short-term wants take the helm (Oh but I am hungry, so I’ll have that slice of cake). And what’s worse, we consistently fail to realize just how differently we’ll act and feel once aroused.
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In our cold, dispassionate state, we stick to our long-term goals (I will lose ten pounds); but when we become emotionally aroused, our short-term wants take the helm (Oh but I am hungry, so I’ll have that slice of cake). And what’s worse, we consistently fail to realize just how differently we’ll act and feel once aroused.
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the decadence - Writer's Block: Chemistry test
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limerence, which wikipedia defines as an "involuntary cognitive and emotional state of intense romantic desire for another person".
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recognizing that sometimes the most powerful attraction reveals itself over time, comes hand-in-hand with a deepening friendship. It might lack the sizzle and drama of limerence, but it also lacks the pain...and it just might go the distance.
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Cities and Ambition
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No matter how determined you are, it's hard not to be influenced
by the people around you. It's not so much that you do whatever a
city expects of you, but that you get discouraged when no one around
you cares about the same things you do. -
Does anyone who wants to do great work have to live in a great city?
No; all great cities inspire some sort of ambition, but they aren't
the only places that do. For some kinds of work, all you need is
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Ben Casnocha: The Blog: Tragic vs. Utopian View of Human Nature
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Conservatives are generally skeptical of the government monopoly of public schools. The Tragic Vision emphasizes the bedrock of selfishness in human nature, and conservatives see public school teachers and their unions as selfish, greedy economic actors like any other -- no more, no less. The Tragic Vision emphasizes that power corrupts and even very smart people at the top can err; conservatives tend to support decentralized control and competition (through charter schools, vouchers, etc).
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The Utopian Vision emphasizes the possibility for great individuals to
transcend their darker self-interested temptations and fight for the "greater good." Liberals first see
teachers as generous servants fulfilling an important calling, and in
political debates give them corresponding deference. The Utopian Vision emphasizes equality, and liberals see government-run public schools as important instruments in this level-playing-field-for-everyone quest.
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The Cynic's Conundrum
interpreted in a more graded fashion, such as the fraction of behavior explained by low motives or functions, or the difference between claimed motives and real motives, cynical beliefs seem to contain a lot of truth.
idealistic explanation of cynical moods =high motives or insight,better able to see behind false appearances, and more shocked and disapointed to discover the low motives of others. unwilling to be hypocritical, is less popular and so succeeds and leads less.-
Cynics thus combine cynical beliefs with a cynical mood.
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marriage is more about reliable access to quality sex, money, and housework than about romantic love, or that medicine is more about status and showing that you care than about improving health.
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When To Reveal, When to Hide
"When moving to a new neighborhood you'll ponder what you really want, but once you live there you will not want reveal too much to neighbors, or think too carefully about how much you like them."
The young discover and celebrate their passions and uniqueness with acquaintances, but not so much with old friends. The old prefer stability and conformity to community, and reveal and discover the most with strangers or adversaries. To the young the old seem boring and conformist, while to the old the young seem lonely and flighty.-
You don't know who likes or hates what bundles of features, so you don't know who will like or hate the things they learn about you.
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As you reveal more to strangers, the distribution of their evaluations spreads out, some moving up toward friends, others down toward enemies. You want to reveal more to potential friends in the hope that some of them will rise above the friend threshold, but you do not want to reveal to potential enemies, for fear they will fall below the enemy threshold. Once people do cross these thresholds, however, your preferences about revelation switch. You want to stop revealing things to confirmed friends, for fear of losing them, and you want to reveal more to confirmed enemies, in the hope of winning them back.
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Innocence Versus Insight
We could avoid insight too much to signal our loyalty and confidence, or we could pursue insight too much to signal our ability and courage.
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in many social contexts ignorance can be a good thing, in part because helps to preserve idealism. Idealism is a simplified view of the world that supports optimism about the abilities or motives of oneself, one's associates, one's groups, and of related social processes.
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idealism, a simplified optimistic vision of abilities and motives, can help one to become more deeply attached to associates and groups. This innocence often comes at the expense of insight however, and people often prefer to signal that they have the ability to gain insight.
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Mind - Some Protect the Ego by Working on Their Excuses Early - NYTimes.com
avoid alternating explanations/excuses for failure.\n motivate from embarrassment of failure.\nknow the reason why you succeeded.
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self-handicapping in students who were told they had aced a test made up of impossible-to-answer questions. They had “succeeded” without knowing how or why. “These are the people who are told they are brilliant, without knowing how that inference is derived,”
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“I try not to get too intensely involved in competitive activities so it won’t hurt too much if I lose or do poorly.” Men tend to score higher on these measures and, in lab studies, to handicap themselves more severely.
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Studying Self Control
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people's failure to control their behavior in the face of temptation
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after engaging in one act of self-control this brain system seems to fail during the next act.
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Six Steps for Making Your Threat Credible — HBS Working Knowledge
these tactics don't work because they make you seem irrational or unpredictable but because they fundamentally alter your strategic options and those of your counterpart
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increasing the costs you will incur by not following through on your threats can persuade others that you mean business. This tactic goes beyond rhetoric; increasing your costs fundamentally changes the game being played. If your threat is not credible because the costs of following through are visibly high, you may need to lower those costs and make sure your counterpart knows they have dropped.
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these are two components to signaling that you won't back down from a threat. First, you must irreversibly restrict your options. Second, you must do so in a way that's visible to the other side. If the other driver doesn't see you throw away your steering wheel, you're in serious trouble. Not only does your threat lack credibility, but you also have no way of changing course if the situation becomes dire.
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DABDA - Definition of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's Theory of DABDA
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- D - Denial
- A - Anger
- B - Bargaining
- D - Depression
- A - Acceptance
- D - Denial
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These stages don't only apply to loss as a result of death but may also occur in someone who experience a different life-changing event such as a divorce or loss of a job.
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