This link has been bookmarked by 142 people . It was first bookmarked on 11 Nov 2006, by ken meece.
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weird or negative topic
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starting to run out of steam.
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take a sort of stand.
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31 Dec 10
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Do you make these 10 mistakes in a conversation?
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If you ask too many questions the conversation can feel like a bit of an interrogation. Or like you don’t have that much too contribute.
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“Never leave home without reading the newspaper.” If you’re running out of things to say, you can always start talking about the current news
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If you feel nervous or weird when meeting someone for the first time assume rapport. What that means is that you imagine how you feel when you meet one of your best friends. And pretend that this new acquaintance is one of your best friends.
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When you get excited about something it’s easy to start talking faster and faster. Try and slow down
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Speaking clearly. Don’t mumble
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Slowing down your talking plus adding a small pause between thoughts or sentences creates a bit of tension and anticipation.
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Avoid arguing and having to being right about every topic.
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28 Nov 09
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Asking too many questions
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One alternative is to mix questions with statements.
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assume rapport. What that means is that you imagine how you feel when you meet one of your best friends. And pretend that this new acquaintance is one of your best friends.
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Poor delivery
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Slowing down.
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Speaking up.
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Speaking clearly.
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Speak with emotion.
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Using pauses.
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body language
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Don’t interrupt
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Having to be right
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Talking about a weird or negative topic
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One good way to have something interesting to say is simply to lead an interesting life.
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Knowing a little about many things or at least being open to talk about them instead of trying to steer the conversation back to your favourite subject is a nice quality.
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If someone is investing in the conversation they’d like you to invest too.
Like in so many areas in life, you can’t always wait for the other party to make the first move. When needed, be proactive and be the first one to open up and invest in the conversation.
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Not contributing much
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25 Oct 09
Matt BarilNot listening Asking too many questions Tightening up Poor delivery Hogging the spot-light Having to be right Talking about a weird or negative topic Being boring Not reciprocating Not contributing much
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05 May 09
Michele Wendell-SenterCan you improve your conversation skills? Certainly.
It might take a while to change the conversation habits that’s been ingrained throughout your life, but it is very possible.
To not make this article longer than necessary let’s just skip right to som -
31 Mar 09
meanderinglara"Open up and say what you think, share how you feel. If someone shares an experience, open up too and share one of your experiences. Don’t just stand there nodding and answer with short sentences. If someone is investing in the conversation they’d like yo
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“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.”
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Do you make these 10 mistakes in a conversation?
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14 Nov 06
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13 Nov 06
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- Where did you go fishing?
- What do you like most about fishing?
- What did you do there besides fishing?
- Yeah, it’s great to just get out with your friends and relax over the weekend. We like to take a six-pack out to the park and play some Frisbee golf.
- Nice. We went out in my friend’s boat last month and I tried these new lures from Sakamura. The blue ones were really great.
- Leil Lowndes once said: “Never leave home without reading the newspaper.” If you’re running out of things to say, you can always start talking about the current news. It’s also good to stay updated on current water cooler-topics. Like what happened on the latest episode of Lost.
- Comment on the aquarium at the party, or that one girl’s cool Halloween-costume or the host’s mp3-playlist. You can always start new conversations about something in your surroundings.
- Assume rapport. If you feel nervous or weird when meeting someone for the first time assume rapport. What that means is that you imagine how you feel when you meet one of your best friends. And pretend that this new acquaintance is one of your best friends. Don’t overdo it though, you might not want to hug and kiss right away. But if you imagine this you’ll go into a positive emotional state. And you’ll greet and start talking to this new person with a smile and a friendly and relaxed attitude. Because that’s how you talk to your friends. It might sound a bit loopy or too simple. But it really works.
- Slowing down. When you get excited about something it’s easy to start talking faster and faster. Try and slow down. It will make it much easier for people to listen and for you actually get what you are saying across to them.
- Speaking up. Don’t be afraid to talk as loud as you need to for people to hear you.
- Speaking clearly. Don’t mumble.
- Speak with emotion. No one listens for that long if you speak with a monotone voice. Let your feelings be reflected in your voice.
- Using pauses. Slowing down your talking plus adding a small pause between thoughts or sentences creates a bit of tension and anticipation. People will start to listen more attentively to what you’re saying. Listen to one of Brian Tracys cds or Steve Pavlina’s podcasts. Listen to how using small pauses makes what they are saying seem even more interesting.
- Learn a bit about improving your body language as it can make your delivery a lot more effective. Read about laughter, posture and how to hold your drink in 18 ways to improve your body language.
Not listening
Ernest Hemingway once said:“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.”
Don’t be like most people. Don’t just wait eagerly for your turn to talk. Put your own ego on hold. Learn to really listen to what people actually are saying.
When you start to really listen, you’ll pick up on loads of potential paths in the conversation. But avoid yes or no type of questions as they will not give you much information. If someone mentions that they went fishing with a couple of friends last weekend you can for instance ask:
The person will delve deeper into the subject giving you more information to work with and more paths for you choose from.
If they say something like: “Oh, I don’t know” at first, don’t give up. Prod a little further. Ask again. They do know, they just have to think about a bit more. And as they start to open up the conversation becomes more interesting because it’s not on auto-pilot anymore.
Asking too many questions
If you ask too many questions the conversation can feel like a bit of an interrogation. Or like you don’t have that much too contribute. One alternative is to mix questions with statements. Continuing the conversation above you could skip the question and say:And then the conversation can flow on from there. And you can discuss Frisbee golf, the advantages/disadvantages of different lures or your favourite beer.
Tightening up
When in conversation with someone you just meet or when the usual few topics are exhausted an awkward silence or mood might appear. Or you might just become nervous not knowing exactly why.Poor delivery
One of the most important things in a conversation is not what you say, but how you say it. A change in these habits can make a big difference since your voice and body language is a vital part of communication. Some things to think about:Hogging the spot-light
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12 Nov 06
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11 Nov 06
brian rodneyTo not make this article longer than necessary let’s just skip right to some common mistakes many of us have made in conversations. And a couple of solutions.
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