The Biblical record extrapolates from the general to the specific. We tend to extrapolate from the specific to the general.
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02 May 08
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because the Bible's communal perspective is so foreign to our individualistic culture, our preachers rarely address the fifth commandment in its original context. "Honor thy father and mother" we relegate to the Sunday school classroom, despite the fact that at Sinai, God addressed the command to a nation of grownups.
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The Bible hedges family about with protective laws. It is concerned with the integrity of the family rather than the blossoming of the nascent self. Read in context, the command to honor parents, accompanied by a body of protective law, places the family (with its allotted land) as the key unit in God's covenant with Israel.
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Not just the fifth commandment, but almost all of the Second Table of the Law is in one sense family law. Prohibitions against adultery, stealing, coveting thy neighbor's wife or livestock, murder, and false witness are meant to protect the sexual and economic integrity of Israel's families.
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Add Sticky Notethe biblical writers begin with God and his covenant with a called-out people and then extrapolate to families and individuals. From this perspective, we look at the kind of social order God desires and then ask, "Now, what sort of people ought we to be in order to live out that vision?"
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Ramblin' Dan Posted: April 25, 2008 12:33 PM 
Children don't really know their parents. They know an idealized version of their parents tainted by the child's own hopes, expectations and longings -
Back to the juicy memoirs: Such writing is more symptom than pathogen. The alienation of so many adults from their own parents calls not just for individual healing, but for a deep societal healing as well. The final verses of the Old Testament (Mal. 4:4-6) promise such communal healing "before that great and dreadful day of the Lord," because if the hearts of the parents are not turned to the children and the children to the parents, God will "strike the land with a curse."
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The first step toward that kind of healing is to get out of our selves and to begin dealing with family issues in a communitarian and covenantal fashion.
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William Posted: April 29, 2008 11:14 AM The generalization, based on the Isaac/Jacob relationship, that the Bible "knows nothing of this perspective (blaming parents for the children's behavior)" flies in the face of the facts, viz., that the Bible clearly recognizes the parent's influence for good or ill on the children. Its call to "not provoke your children" implicitly understands that some parental behavior can have negative effects on the children, and the Church would be wise to recognize and deal with such effects. On the positive side, the Bible's call for parents to "train up a child in the way he should go" is another instance of the Biblical understanding that parents can have a positive influence on the children. -
Dea Posted: April 28, 2008 3:40 PM 
My problem has more to do with shoving the 5th commandment down our thoats with no discussion of how parents are suppossed to treat children. In my situation, my worst enemies are my parents. One has abandoned me and my siblings to create another family. The other has abused us and lied about us while pretending to be the perfect mother, teacher and christian. She has stolen our child support for herself, used the removal of health insurance as a way to control us, and has run my sister off, the only person who could help me with my suffering concerning my her actions. If I ever get the chance to tell the world (whether its our small group of family and friends) or the actual world, about who she really is I will. She deserves no less than to be fully exposed for her lieing, cheating, abuse and hypocrisy. Maybe than she will be forced to answer for her crimes. This is no different than the article. Parents should be afraid of what children will say. What is done in the dark.... -
Jonathan Hunnicutt Posted: April 25, 2008 3:10 PM 
I am continually frustrated that the church has over-emphasized: "Honor thy father and thy mother" at the expense of "Thou shalt not bear false witness." So we hide our parents faults from ourselves, and our communities instead of dealing with them. We must learn to tell the truth about our parents, ultimately, I think that would be the ultimate honoring of them. -
Ephrem Hagos Posted: April 25, 2008 7:03 AM 
Honor is the right of all parents even if some do not deserve our love! God knows that! Therefore, cursing them will only put our own lives at risk of ending up like a lamp that goes out in the dark (Prov. 20:20). Better not find out firsthand. Why would God want to have as His children those who don't honor their parents? -
Marianne Miller Posted: April 24, 2008 1:20 PM I have not read either book referred to in this article, however I have studied the Bible for thirty years and I have a different view of its emphasis of society and individual than does the author of this article. First off, the ten commandments were given to the nation of Israel at large, not just to the adults. The author's intent to specify that God narrowed His focus of the fifth commandment to adults is simply erroneous. Secondly, the author is assuming that the relating of negative characteristics of a parent equals dishonor. A cursory review of the Bible in its entirety shows us that God is not so concerned with covering over the shortcomings of any person. Honoring our parents has more to do with honoring what is noble in them, if we can find such attributes, than with not exposing their faults. Finally, the statement that we 'inevitably' connect our struggles to childhood emotional malnutrition is a rather large assertion. Most people I know look at the whole picture!
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