" Being told that, categorically, he knows what he's talking about and she doesn't, however minor a part of any given conversation, perpetuates the ugliness of this world. Several years ago, I objected to the behavior of a couple of men, only to be told on both occasions that the incidents hadn't happened at all as I said they had, that I was subjective, delusional, overwrought, dishonest -- in a nutshell, female."
This link has been bookmarked by 41 people . It was first bookmarked on 14 Apr 2009, by Joelle Nebbe-Mornod.
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19 Dec 17
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10 Aug 16
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Yes, it's true that guys like this pick on other men's books, and people of both genders pop up at events to hold forth on irrelevant things and conspiracy theories, but the out-and-out confrontational confidence of the totally ignorant is, in my experience, gendered.
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Men explain things to me, and to other women, whether or not they know what they're talking about. Some men. Every woman knows what I mean. It's the presumption that makes it hard, at times, for any woman in any field; that keeps women from speaking up and from being heard when they dare; that crushes young women into silence by indicating, the way harassment on the street does, that this is not their world. It trains us in self-doubt and self-limitation just as it exercises men's unsupported overconfidence.
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This syndrome is something nearly every woman faces every day, within herself too, a belief in her superfluity, an invitation to silence
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24 May 15
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08 Jan 15
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12 Oct 14
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20 May 14
Laura MEvery woman knows what I mean. It's the presumption that makes it hard, at times, for any woman in any field; that keeps women from speaking up and from being heard when they dare; that crushes young women into silence by indicating, the way harassment on the street does, that this is not their world. It trains us in self-doubt and self-limitation just as it exercises men's unsupported overconfidence.
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03 Mar 13
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28 Jan 13
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22 Nov 12
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29 Jun 12
Cheryl C."Every woman knows what it's like to be patronized by a guy who won't let facts get in the way." http://t.co/QTuhTs5d
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01 Feb 12
Swasey Charlotte"men explain things to me" - assumed expertise in various fields
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Men who explain things
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We were preparing to leave when our host said, "No, stay a little longer so I can talk to you." He was an imposing man who'd made a lot of money in advertising or something like that.
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said to me, "So? I hear you've written a couple of books."
I replied, "Several, actually."
He said, in the way you encourage your friend's 7-year-old to describe flute practice, "And what are they about?"
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So caught up was I in my assigned role as ingenue that I was perfectly willing to entertain the possibility that another book on the same subject had come out simultaneously and I'd somehow missed it.
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So, Mr. Very Important was going on smugly about this book I should have known when Sallie interrupted him to say, "That's her book." Or tried to interrupt him anyway
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That I was indeed the author of the very important book it turned out he hadn't read, just read about in the New York Times Book Review a few months earlier, so confused the neat categories into which his world was sorted that he was stunned speechless -- for a moment, before he began holding forth again. Being women, we were politely out of earshot before we started laughing.
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the out-and-out confrontational confidence of the totally ignorant is, in my experience, gendered.
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Men explain things to me, and to other women, whether or not they know what they're talking about
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It trains us in self-doubt and self-limitation just as it exercises men's unsupported overconfidence.
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29 Sep 11
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13 Sep 10
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10 Sep 10
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04 Sep 10
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28 Jan 10
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25 Sep 09
amelliferaGreat article. The one with the guy in Aspen who tells her about her own book
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19 Sep 09
electrastephI have several coworkers who do this shit. -- Rebecca Solnit -- "Men explain things to me, and to other women, whether or not they know what they're talking about. Some men. Every woman knows what I mean. It's the presumption that makes it hard, at times,
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01 Sep 09
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13 Jul 09
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14 Apr 09
Joelle Nebbe-MornodMen explain things to me, and to other women, whether or not they know what they're talking about. Some men. Every woman knows what I mean. It's the presumption that makes it hard, at times, for any woman in any field
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